₦airaland Forum

Princessa mabinu jor, I still deh follow this story dye.

Oga o, why are posts be hidden, I hope is not in response to what I wrote sha.

@mynd u are not doing good at all.

@frank, I have heard o jare.

@bukatyne lol, abeg make u do quick.


@ohibenemma, it is not chimandaesque(by the way I ve not her book yet) it is great writtingesque.

@frank well done o.

Damex333: Ghen ghen ghen ghen ghen oga frank pls let ds battle place be much bloody, dont leave us 2 start guessing. Take ur time in plotting d scene well. Even if we are trying 2 make you update fast, pls just make ds battle place action filled. Na beg i dey beg o.

Abeg help me beg am o. Frank, this is battle of all battle, it must pass the one wey then fight for spartacus o. Keep it up.

Repo ur first story was beautiful but it was kind of teenages, pardon my grammar but dis one o, u killed it. Harlequin and M&B should go and sit down. You remind me of Karen Robard and Sandra Brown.
It is a pleasure watching u develop as a writer. See depth, see humor, honestly in my opinion for this to be far far better than the first, u are a very good writer, well done. *following*

Idowuogbo: ^it pass fiction o!

Eeeeehn! Aunty Idowu e ja wasi.

Yayyyy!!! U re a darling. Thanks for posting it here.

.

.Wow! I'm dumb-founded, astonished, amazed and inspired.
Twice u bought me to tears with ur beautiful story. It is truly in you.
Eze, one thing I have learnt from you is your ability to make urself stronger from criticism. Fine u are not there yet but for u to be here within a short time, then in a matter of time u will get there.
I don't know what to say again but to say well done.

rofemiguwa: Shebi for novel he go write and dy car was on the road ˚°◦ooo☺º°˚˚°ºo they way the use to say act it.this is novel the author shouldn't describe everytin up to the texture of their poo like flow use to abi?.we need to make use of our minds too biko.The plot and description is good.

Nobody is saying the plot and description is not good. What we are saying is that it could be done better. And I believe that is one of the reason he posted his work here.

rofemiguwa: Una don dey watch 2 many nigerian film that u pple can't see a good script and know its good.ibe is no amatuer either is priest and his gang stupid why will dy put ibe out without him changing in the van so he can blend in.its only nigerian movies that the actors go carry that same cloth they walka around without changing.watch america movies the guy go don change clean mouth u won't believe na the same guy kill person.this novel is international standard.oga frank abeg no jus bring down to nigerian film level.we like the suspense and intrigues.more grease to ur elbow.u nid to see me refreshing this page checking for update.hope sey sunday own go long

And I no wan comment again o but body no gree me. The international film that you watched, shebi u saw the actor changing clothe. So why can't he write it that the guy changed clothe?

*still following*

Br3nd4: Dear Mod,

I write to endorse the story; Taking Chances by Princesa to make front page. . Pleeaasee!

Signed,
Br3nd4
Campaign Manager


^{@Princesa: Done} ;-)

Manager, you must deliver o, if not hmmm.

princesa: guyz endorse me for frontpage na, 10 lengthy chapter updates, no be beans na...

am also curious to know hw it feels hunh...

is that too much to ask?

It is not too much. By fire by force dis story must reach front page. Lol

AMYpurple: I endorse princesa's Taking chances for frontpage

Seconded and I'm also endorsing 'Religion by Frank3.16.' Thanks.

[quote author=frank3.16]But it was written clearly dat blessing was called priest even before going to prison. Perhaps u missed it.

Concerning the burning house, I pointed out clear detail why u should know the house didn't completely burn. One is the fact that papas room was not affected.

Ok I will work on that sha, thanks[/quote]Bros Frank, u wrote that blessing was called Priest when he was in sch,not in his neighbourhood,not in his family. And you didn't write how Adanna got to know about that name.
Concerning the burnt house maybe Papa escaped b4 the house burnt totally and died of smoke inhalation or maybe the room papa was inside has been so much jazz that fire can't penetrate and he died of high blòod pressure abi? Since u ve given us assignment to be doing guesswork.

[quote author=frank3.16]Thanks luvmi, pls read the part I gave priest's brief history, he was known as priest even when he was in school and before he went to prison, infact the name was given to him in school. I totally adopted the name in prison. Adanna would have heard someone callin him that. She was close to his brother remember.[/quote]Frank, once again well done. You can afford to be given readers via nairaland assignment to be doing guess work but per adventure I pay to read ur work with my hard earn money u don't expect me to be guessing, in order words 'Be explicit.'

princesa: he's a guy na, that's what they do best......playing with girls heart. but then grace has a blame to share too, why would she cling to a man whose wedding she attended. what kind of hope is that

thanks Stephen, i appreciate.

Brenda, you and ur teamJide

Are you trying to say Jide was ruthless coz if u were,u never protrayed him that way. Grace was also a victim or was she not? Well in case if u want to publish or something I will urge to work on that angle.

Ghen Ghen Ghen. Frank, Frank, Frank, well done.
Every elements to be a great writer is already in you. Maybe that is why it was easier for me to critique your work.
Let us have another discussion- Blessing change his name to Priest when he was in prison. How did Adanna know he was bearing Priest?

Princessa well done. Just be a little bit careful in ur protrayal of Brenda in negative light except if that is what you want to achieve.
There was a reason why Jide was being so rude to Daisy but why is he being so rude to his ex-gf?
And I have to agree with those who pointed out the likeness and dislikeness Jide has for his wife and gf respectively was too sudden.
Fine,you don't have to explain everything but that is one important area that diffrentiate a good writer from a very writer.

Dr Shroud, well done.
In all honesty this story reminds me of 'ghostful' I can even list 5 similarites between them but I am hoping as this story develop it will have its own distinctiveness. *following*

Lol @Frank, Candis, Damex na no serious o. Bride price deh expensive for our place o.
Oya lets move on, I definitely have learnt from your comments.

rofemiguwa: Luvmi for a man dt has told u all about himself tinz he neva told anybody and den someone u have stayed with for so long.I don't tink its out of place to tell him that ur kinda scared of men becos u were almost raped .besides he asked her why she gat no boifriend.I tink d story follows.also inspector bassey doesn't nid to be a thoinker to knw deres a mole.once u have information knw only to d police given out u must knw dt it can only come from ur pple.dt doesn't stop u from having pple u trust.if he has 20police men to work with he shud be able to vouch for 3 or more.and also I cant remember him discussing his findings with chidi with his entire team showing that he is also conscious of the fact that all his men are not his men.the character has being potrayed well enough for a good police officer.both in reality and ficitous too.he has acted well

Rofe,thanks for joining us. I definitely agree with u dat is not odd for Adanna to tell Daniel what happen. I am simply saying the dialogue and the timing could have been done better.
Now to the inspector, he discovered there was a mole when the first witness was brutally mudered. If he was not a critical thinker, he would have jumped to the conclusion that he was murdered by cult, arm robbered or he wouldn't see anything odd about it.

[quote author=frank3.16]Why are u callling me bros... Pls as from today, call me frank. How long I can stay? Not as long as jide who claims to be a correct guy, and can't do anything about the treasure in his home. I will chop daisy and not still send her. I would have married her in d first place if I don't want her in my house.[/quote]Haba! Bros Frank, na food? Lol