₦airaland Forum

ochuko eja: I can never forget wat I did to my roommate 2 years back, I went to a lab to get a report sheet, filled it like I did a blood test n was 2 months pregnant. I left it on d table wit a suicide note dat I could not bear d shame to my parents so I was goin to kill myself. When she called me I was cryin dat I'm about to jump a bridge. Well I dint sleep in d room for a week nd she dint talk to me for a month. Buh till tomoro dat prank is a classic cos I had d whole hostel searchin

Lol. Wicked

baconline: 5 years ago ,i told my boss that d office had burnt down,he shouted,cut d phone and called d other directors and MD.got into his car and started racing to d office.i called him back a few minutes later not knowing d magnitude of blood pressure i had raised up.almost got a query for it

U were lucky.

life_style: And what did you aunty say when she discovered it was April fool ?

lol. She warned me seriously, saying dat I almost gave her HBP. Dat i shuldnt try such thing with her again.

Raxxye: Oga, so u spend an average of 30mins, then off u go to bank to collect the proceeds from Nairaland, while dedicated guys and ladies stay on for hours, helping out, answering questions and making the site rich and interesting. Yet u don‘t care about their opinions. I don‘t know how to describe u, man. U simply....

Well, I dont want 2 biliv he actually spends dat amount of time on his site. Mayb dat ws just just a lie to make d April fool joke believable or add salt to it.

Well, my best April Fool record ws back in 2009. I called my Aunty very early in d morning and d following conversation took place:

Me: Aunty good morning

My Aunty: good mornin

Me: Aunty I'v been tryin to reach my Mum n Dad since ystday all to no avail. Rite now I am @d EFCC office in Trans-amadi PH where I am being held for money laundry.

My Aunty: What! Jesus! Are u ok? What happened?

Me: I was @ d bank ystday to withdraw money dat my dad snt me d previous day, d cashier on chekin my account balance screamed, I asked him wat d problem was but he didnt say anything to me, he just asked me to wait, then he left and came bak with d branch manager som minutes later. The manager called me into his office and asked me wat I do for a living, I told him dat I ws a student. He then asked me wat 20Billion naira ws doin in my account. Since i sincerely knew nth bout d money I told him dat I had no idea how d money got there.

My Aunty: Jesus! Jesus!

Me: After a while they allowed me to withdraw d 3k I came for and as I was bout leaving d bank premises, a white bus arrived, with police men escorting d bus, I ws asked to enter d bus. I asked wat d matter ws, without anoda word they pushed me inside d bus and took me straight to EFCC office @trans-amadi.

My Aunty: (Panicking) Jesus! Jesus! So wat r dey saying now?

Me: They said they would transfer me to their headquarters in Abuja 2moro. Just help me and see if u can reach my dad or my mum, and hlp me convey d msg.

My Aunty: (Still in shock and panicking seriously) Ok Ok I will, chai! Wat sort of rubbish is dis now(almost crying now).

Me: Aunty dont worry evrything will b alrite, they said my time is up. Bye.

After a while my dad called me with serious vexing. He already knew wat I ws of capable of doin on April fool day,as he had once alredy been my victim. Lol

Well, my best April Fool record ws back in 2009. I called my Aunty very early in d morning and d following conversation took place:

Me: Aunty good morning

My Aunty: good mornin

Me: Aunty I'v been tryin to reach my Mum n Dad since ystday all to no avail. Rite now I am @d EFCC office in Trans-amadi PH where I am being held for money laundry.

My Aunty: What! Jesus! Are u ok? What happened?

Me: I was @ d bank ystday to withdraw money dat my dad snt me d previous day, d cashier on chekin my account balance screamed, I asked him wat d problem was but he didnt say anything to me, he just asked me to wait, then he left and came bak with d branch manager som minutes later. The manager called me into his office and asked me wat I do for a living, I told him dat I ws a student. He then asked me wat 20Billion naira ws doin in my account. Since i sincerely knew nth bout d money I told him dat I had no idea how d money got there.

My Aunty: Jesus! Jesus!

Me: After a while they allowed me to withdraw d 3k I came for and as I was bout leaving d bank premises, a white bus arrived, with police men escorting d bus, I ws asked to enter d bus. I asked wat d matter ws, without anoda word they pushed me inside d bus and took me straight to EFCC office @trans-amadi.

My Aunty: (Panicking) Jesus! Jesus! So wat r dey saying now?

Me: They said they would transfer me to their headquarters in Abuja 2moro. Just help me and see if u can reach my dad or my mum, and hlp me convey d msg.

My Aunty: (Still in shock and panicking seriously) Ok Ok I will, chai! Wat sort of rubbish is dis now(almost crying now).

Me: Aunty dont worry evrything will b alrite, they said my time is up. Bye.

After a while my dad called me with serious vexing. He already knew wat I ws of capable of doin on April fool day,as he had once alredy been my victim. Lol

A.P.R.I.L F.O.O.L!

U suppose knw say na April Fool naa.

Som ppl too dey take things serious oo! Immediately I clicked on NL bookmark n saw d theme I knew twas A.P.R.I.L F.O.O.L!

Engr. Chris:
Why is that his case of racism have not been settled england FA went and give him a player manager while not them coach of England team, if is Suarez they will give 8 match band without looking back. That shows England FA racism fight are not real, it only work against foriegners. If not they could have not delay his judgement, no even talk about the time he betray his teammate by taking bridge ex girl friend.

hahahahahahahahaha, so ppl can really b dis gullible? Upon say dey don tell u say na April fool u still dey ginger like dis? Chai!

Som ppl too dey take things serious oo! Immediately I clicked on NL bookmark n saw d theme I knew twas APRIL FOOL!

A huge loss for Villa.

I am amazed @ how ppl go off pointing accusing fingers immediately. I hv just one question- Do u think d Lagosian traders, or pharmacists or watever, dat go to onitsha n Aba to buy d drugs dont know they r sub-standard? Its evrybody's fault n not just d manufacturers.

Wow! And i thought they were joking.

nijanigga: Stupid people.Many of you don't know that they carry juju on thier bodies,no better ways to hide them than to wear those african clothes.
There is nothing wrong with adoring yourself in african attaire,but atleast once in a while try English men dress too.We tend to give more time to wearing clothes,than working for our people.

Are u serious? So y shuld they try English men dress once in a while?? Do d English men try ours once a while? Please b serious!

I dont think they r telling us d full story, sth must b missing somwhere. Its either dis ws a suicide, murder, or d man was blind!

crusifis: i did my nysc at akwaibom, ikotekpene to be precise. yes, he is building very good roads, but for no reason, u will see a good road leading to no where, no houses, schools or anythinh, but road go just dey, make e be say e dey. i think roads should be built where they have economic value, the same way peter obi is doing

Hahaha. Guy u wicked o. "Road leading to nowhere"

MeGaStReEt: Andrea Stramaccioni the fifth coach since Mou' left. And I think RDM is the 6th Chelsea coach since Mou' left too... That guy must possess special powers

True Talk! He leaves a big big pair of shoes dat no ones feet can fit in.lol

lilkech: We go 2 church 2 worship and praise God.

The only gadgets allowed are supposed to be musical based

lets not allow the western world lead us into blind sin

I dont even know wat to say. Now Its right to use musical instruments but not E-bible?(Hypocritical). So d musical instruments were sent to us from heaven by God right? Not 4rm d western world right? Hmm, do u knw there was a time dat using musical instruments in d church were perceived as sin too??

senben: Using Ur fone bible during de service may not be a sin but it could be a source of distraction because calls,text or chats could make U lose focus in de process of the service...

u can always switch to Offline mode!

oiseworld: so what next afta knowing

So I'll stab d pesn,hehehehehe. Just kidding. But seriously dats a huge misrepresentation! Someone dat saw d title but didnt hv time to read d article will probably go bout spreading falsehood.

ZUBY77: so you are saying that c3 is such a bad phone?

I'm not saying it is a bad fone, when compared to other phones in its league it might b fairly good, but goin by d title of the thread,plus d OP mentioning his budget range, I really dont c any reason y C3 shuld b mentioned here.

Please I'd like to know hu titled dis thread

Dem neva tok d truth. Dis sounds more like arson to me.

Why is nobody mentioning Aba and Umuahia @OP: I think u shuld consider Aba too.

While going thru dis thread and seeing the OP's (Mr. Globe abi Mr. Local Champion) comments, I just started wondering why he started dis thread in d first place, since he already had his mind made up bout d answer to his silly question.

@Standing5: Experts my foot. We r d ones dat make these manchies feel so "expertish". True Story: There is dis Multi-national coy in lagos, whenever any of their machines broke down they wuld fly a so-called "expert" from Tottenham to Nigeria to fix it. Until d guy arrives nobody is allowed to touch d machine. They wuld take care of all his expenses, and @ d end pay him millions of naira for doing only God knows what. There ws dis time their machine broke down and d "expert" wasnt free @ dat moment to com down to Nigeria. Normally, nobody is allowed to touch d machine but a "non-expert" Naija Engineer, afta plenty plenty tok and begging, ws finally allowed to try and c if he can fix it. Guess wat? You alredy know d end of d story. So most times we just deplete our foriegn exchange all in d name of bringing in "Experts"! While we can do it ourselves.

For d first time in a very long time, I think I can say this: "I am so proud of my Fatherland"

Change is inevitable!
Funny how some people are threatning to leave if changes are made, Like someone said earlier, facebook change/introduce certain features every now and then, do we leave? NO! Instead we accept it and adjust. Or is it because he informed us about the proposed change that's why some people are flexing their muscles. Mr. Seun pls go ahead, I assure u no one is leaving. But mayb instead of changing entirely just add a few but attractive touches to this layout.

Some said avatars shuld b introduced under usernames, personally i dont think that would make sense,since it will slow down the speed of each page loading.

I doubt, Cos i just opened FBI.org n its wokin