₦airaland Forum

Please forgive me

I live in the ghetto of Upstate New York. I like Nollywood movies, but I don't have any to watch.

^^Nigerian girl with green eyes??^^

Fresh cut flowers with a nice thoughtful card (if she isn't allergic)

A goofy or silly keychain that will remind your girl of you

A 100 pack of good-smelling incense

A good book if your love is an avid reader*

Whatever you decide to give, make it something thoughtful yet inexpensive. Also, be sure to give your gift at a random and unexpected time, and it will be appreciated and valued that much more. Don't tell her in advance and have her expecting your gift(s).

Most men don't realize it, but we score our points by small, unexpected measures. Cheap, seemingly insignificant gifts can go a long way with a woman, because it is the air of thoughtfulness and surprise that will make her feel happy and romantic with you.

It is also a good idea to wrap your present in a nice wrapping paper. This can give a relatively inexpensive gift more value and turns your gift-giving into a moment of fun for you and your girl when she opens up her present before you.

Good luck!

I will definately try not to marry a nymphomaniac.

But, if for some reason I did end up marrying one, I would try and keep some good open lines of communication to try and work through the addiction. I'd be caring, supportive and understanding. I would consider different methods of counseling or therapy to try and get to the base reason for my wife's uncontrollable sexual need. I would also invest in a nice collection of intimacy gadgets,

I don't know who any of these women are,

It is not good to internalize or generalize too much. This was the action of one man, not all men.

Women do not find shyness attractive. Mostly only young girls find shyness to be "cute". Real women need assertiveness and decisiveness from a potential mate / BF / etc,

bidemi007:
Men fall in love with their eyes; women do so with their ears

Right! Excellent point!

Wow, I don't know what to think. Some of the things being said here in this article are heartbreaking!

Makes me want to be a better stronger man and has me thinking more about finding the special woman I am to love and sweeping her off her feet,

Right, Absolutely!

Still single, but with many prospects!

^^Another good point^^

, If you cannot attract the one you really love?

Critical one:

If I could teach this to guys, I believe that I could help creat alot of healthy, happy and productive relationships.

[b]One thing I look for with women is the level of staying power she has in my thoughts, i.e. how much being with her will distract me from thinking about other women. For instance, if I am dating a woman, and when out shopping I see several attractive women and find myself looking at them, flirting or talking with them, that is a bad sign. That means that my prospect's level of staying power in my thoughts is low. This means that there is something I desire in a woman that is not present in her, or that a certain sexual, psychological or emotional need is probably lacking.

Now on the other hand, if I am dating a woman,  and when she isn't around I find myself completely ignoring vibrant attractive women because of the thought of my girlfriend or lover, that is a good sign. That means that her level of staying power in my thought is very high, and that she is sufficient for me and my standards in a way that will produce a healthy, emotionally solid, sexually strong relationship with security, solidarity, and faithfulness. I try to maintain relationships with women who have high staying power in my thoughts. This is a preventative measure to avoid common problems like boredom with your lover and senseless acts of infidelity that men have gotten caught up with for thousands of years. [/b]

Straight up, if a woman cannot or does not satisfy or prevent your urges to talk to / be with / have sex with other women, DON'T BE WITH THAT WOMAN. Keep her has a friend instead, because that friendship will have more value than a failed bf/gf relationship

What it is is an extreme lust attack. You are crazily attracted to this woman (and maybe she is crazily attracted to you), for the simple reason that it is wrong. It is taboo. That is why she is seeming so sweet to you, The devil is toying with you! We all know that we often want what we can't have, and we know that certain things we get in life are not worth the penalty or price that comes along with it.

So now, the real question is this: Are you a fool? Or are you a wise man? See, a wise man can abstain from foolish behavior. A wise man resists temptation! A foolish person FALLS VICTIM TO temptation. You are faced with a decision.

Now, if you want my honest opinion, I would say let her know how you feel, but be very cautious about the way that you do it (I know it seems like I am contradicting myself, but bear with me). My reasoning is that, if you are willing to step back and look at the whole thing objectively and would be willing to view the woman as a platonic friend, there may be MUCH to gain. First, by establishing a healthy friendship first, you can build up your trust and friendship to a point that will allow to express your feelings to her comfortably. At the same time, you can get to know her well by getting close to her and finding out different things about her that will aid you in building the relationship later. By willingly putting yourself in the friendzone, you could establish a basis for something more serious in the event that things don't work out with her and her lover later. Also, having female friends who pocess the qualities you seek in a lover gives you critical insight into how to interact with those types of women!! She will share secrets with you and tell you where you have advantages or where you need improvement. Perhaps she could even give you tips to help you break out of your shyness,

Tell her how you feel, But not until you have thoroughly evaluated the whole situation and come up with a plan of action that will ensure you the best possible outcome with the least negative consequence. Listen to your concious and pay attention the signs. You have alot to potentially gain or lose.

Good luck!

- Magz

Signs I look for in a girl,

If I understand your question right, you are asking what red flags or signs I'd keep my eyes open for when dating a woman. A few are:

How she treats herself, such as her overall respect for herself, eating habits, drug / alcohol / tobacco abuse and promiscuity. Does she party? If so, how often? These types of behaviors are red flags for me,

How she treats the people around her. Her social habits and parenting skills if she has children. If she has pets, I pay attention to how well-kept her pets are. If she is not capable or responsible enough to maintain her children, pets or other loved ones impeccably, that raises doubts for me in the potential for a relationship.

There are others too,,,

@ Original Poster, excellent question! I am extremely fine, yet I've been plagued with a terrible shyness that has prevented me from pursuing women in the past, Even very beautiful ones who I knew liked me. I've somewhat overcome it during the course of the last eighteen months, but remnants of my old shy self still surface sometimes.

Love is infinite and eternal. If you find someone who you have a really strong connection with, and the right chemical reaction occurs in the brains of both people, Love at first sight is possible. Making it work, however is something of itself. Like any other, this type of relationship will require patience, knowledge, intuitiveness, dedication and hard work to make it grow and succeed. It takes work to maintain any healthy relationship,

LOL. She looks pretty, man.

Outstrip, you are a pretty fine lady, based on your profile pic.

I don't think I would give my woman an allowance. It is an age-old rule that a man is not to give money to a woman EVER, unless it is your mother, grandmother or similar elder. Doing so is extremely detrimental to a relation.

Nairaland's coolest babe is,

Bluespice

@ Poster,

Baby you need to get with me!

Good question. Great post.

One thing that I think helps is making a concious effort to always be very assertive and never seem unsure or indecisive. Women, or at least normal ones, are almost always turned off by an indecisive man.

What do you propose as a way to become more attractive to women?

I am 23, but my soul seems to be about 2,000 or so. My mind is maybe 500.