₦airaland Forum

blowjohn:
Oh. Work? Stress of travelling?

Work o. Plus embarking on it will drastically affect me on January.

Newbreed2018:
For me I don't. Though a mansion is wasting there but what can man do when there are so many obligations and responsibilities one has to meet up in the city?

Secondly I just don't feel the vibe there. Too much envy and evil.

Lastly my kids are comfortable spending holidays with my parents in the city cos my parents live in the city too so what's the point of going to the village I ask?

2017. I stopped visiting due to too violence and killings.
The last time I visited, I left with PTSD...man, it was like I went to a war front. Thought that sh*t was an oyinbo problem.

blowjohn:
Am already in my village in ibesikpo asutan local government area of akwaibom state.
Av already had soft baby coconuts with the water ofcos.
With fresh large river prawns inside fisherman soup with pounded yam.
Am going out to get palm wine and roast pig suya.
Then follow it up later with plenty fruits before I disengage the day with Afang soup with snail and goat meat.

Used to visit a friend's family at Ikot Abasi every new year for the past 5 years. Unfortunately I won't be visiting this time around. Sad.

Cutehector:
and the point building a mansion in the village if you dont visit?

They build mansions in the village and lives in rented apartments in the city.
Sigh.

LordAdam16:
Because it's easier.

For what it's worth, we're human beings. Most times we have very jaundiced views of ourselves and our relationships. It's why counseling or seeking third-party resolution from a person you both respect, is so popular. The session or meet will remove the tinted glasses you have on and narrow things down.

The woman in question may be a model parent, wife, caretaker, cook, and what not. Understandably, in her mind, this is one of the few quirks she has, if it can be called that. So why can't she just have her way on this one. After all, if she married an asexual, this wouldn't be a problem.

The conversations people have in their heads are very different from what they voice out.

Women by nature domesticate the men they live with, whether the relationship is romantic or not. Instinctively, this may be no different to her cutting off some of his friends she disapproves of or changing his dress code. Na we wen know how konji b dey pity d OP, she probably never had to deal with it or has forgotten what it feels like.

I'm not making excuses for her. I'm just saying, she's not automatically a terrible person because she's manipulating the OP. That's the default nature for most people. Most people commenting are like that too. Both male and female. And most of us learn to live with that because the SO has other positive attributes.



I mean it's not an option for me.

Naturally, people meet someone else, they click, and they want to be all over that person for as long as they breathe. I don't have that.

It makes me see people for what they really are. Unreliable. And since I don't have hormones clouding my judgement, I don't have to put up with the impossible "I wouldn't change anything about you, you're perfect.' Sounds great in a Jon Legend song, its BS in real life.

To your last statement, many would still do it. Most people need companionship. Not want, need.

The issue is that most only concentrate on what they want to get out of it; and downplay the other person, the system, the fickleness of human nature, the limited control they'd exercise, and much more.

That's how you get threads like this and entire sub-reddits dedicated to specific "marital problems"; because most people at the point of getting married have no f*cking idea what they're getting into. The only disclaimers newly-weds and about-to-weds get are the tired, overused cliches of "It wouldn't be easy," "Every marriage has issues," "You'd have to be tolerant and make compromises."

Which is pretty much just code clauses for "This person you think you can't live without will make you feel like sh*t so many times you'd become numb and you'd stay because you both develop Stockholm Syndrome for each other. And that's fine if you both know what you're getting into. But we all know if you really did, there're some things about the institution of marriage and the contract you'd want to amend. So let's just pretend this isn't a f*ckfest, so you can go through the same meat grinder like we did."

And voila, the synonym for "Miserable" is now "I'm happily married."

-Lord

Dang, I like you already.
But everybody get that hormone las las, just don't let it cloud your sense of judgement in matters of love and relationship. Because in the long run, na your body go tell you after you've tolerated and compromised so much all because of 'I love her', or 'I can't do without her'. Man's gat be reasonable abeg, make person no come become thorn in your flesh.

maasoap:
All these just to have free access to what is already his? Very unnecessary. He should just have a frank (and heated) discussion with her to find out what is really wrong. This is not about two people dating one another.

I think what he's trying to say is that the op should go back to the drawing board, to go back to how things were before getting married.
Truth is, a lot of couples forget about what really attracted them to each before the marriage. They stop doing what they were to their partners before the marriage, and when it happens like that, women are the ones the easily notice it, hence, the withdrawal.

tellsblinks:
Guy!! Grow up!! Sex is a good thing especially with married couples... Go get counselling!! And stop this "slave to sex" quote

I tire o!
Baba dey find excuse to give.

alezzy13:
Did you read his comment at all? He made it CLEAR BEFORE they got married that he's not the sex loving type. So at least the lady can't complain of any surprise.

Yeah, I read that part. Thank you.
But trying to use it as a yardstick for someone else's marriage isn't wise, is it?

franchasng:
You guys worry so much about pleasing your partners honestly. So a man need to do all these just to keep his so called wife happy


See, I am happily married, and before I married my heartthrob, I made sure she understood me in and out. She knows I am not a fan of sex, I do it for doing sake. She knows and she is fine with it from beginning. If she decides to cheat because she need a horse to ride her, that's her cup of tea oh but let her pray I don't catch her or find out; she knows I am a tech guy and she is 247 under surveillance, so whatever she does I will find out. If she cheats and I catch her, that's the end no forgiveness for cheating in my book.

She knew my sexual strength and passion before we married and she was fine with it and I cannot put any other effort sexually to please her, other things I will do, but I cannot kill myself trying to please a woman sexually, guys don't kill yourself in an effort to please a sex maniac; if its 5 minutes u can do, do it and get off and face your life, don't die to please any woman cos if you die she will continue where u stopped

We blacks worry so much about sex, sex sex. Few minutes nonsense. Before you marry anybody know their sexual strength and decide if u can bear it.

Global economy is under attack and black Nigerians are busy worrying about sex and styles

As for the op, you sound like those sex maniacs who eat sex like food, and your type do wear your woman out with excessive sex, you better slow down because sex involves energy.

If you cannot tolerate her sex denials, tell her point black that you want separation and be serious about it.

Life is simple you guys should stop complicating it already.

We have Buhari and his evil government to worry about not all these bedroom nonsense

Nawa o! The way some of you married men think, one would assume you guys are in still in the stone age.
So you bang her, cum and leave her high and dry. Have you ever been stopped just when you're about to reach your climax? The feeling isn't usually fun.
Now put yourself in her shoes....
If she satisfies you sexually, nigga you have every obligation to satisfy her also, by any means necessary.

Most you married men just want to enter there, satisfy yourself and move ahead, without thinking about her own satisfaction. Imagine she gives someone else a try and that person meets that particular need....
Abeg, make una do well o. Na 21st Century we dey o, mbok!

DownChelsea:
unfortunately, only men understand this maxim. Women will keep giving millions of chances which men will never give. Men will always gamble to stay secure, while women will always gamble to get hurt.

A man cannot completely forgive a cheating (or even intended cheating) woman, AND IT IS A FACT. Any such forgiveness from a man would only be based on pity and not real. In the man’s mind, he has moved on siiiiiiiiince!

Aunty there's difference between forgiveness, forgetting and getting back together. You forgive no go mean say you go forget, and e still no go mean say you want her back.
The guy in question has forgiven her, but baba no want continue again. Imagine what will be going through his mind each time he thinks about her or each time he wants to get down with her, should he want to continue in the relationship....

Belloola:
It's not easy to forgive a cheating wife, I will advise to leave your man and find another to move on with because if he even mary, u can never have peaceful home cause he will never trust u anymore. No matter how strong the love, men dont forgive cheating woman.

Oga they forgive! They just find it difficult to forget. I mean, how can such act be forgotten? Except they wipe that memory by any means necessary. What am I even saying sef??

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

Sis, it's possible to forgive o. The hard part is forgetting it...we're human after all.
And as men, we can be very graphic when it comes to issues like this. Every time he thinks about you, all he'd be imagining is how that married man hit the hell out of the cookie that's supposed to be for himself. Trust me, it won't be easy getting that out of his mind.

He did you a favour by telling you he can't continue with the relationship. Some guys would've just pretended and played along. And the result? Wait for it...
They'll knack the hell out of you and go marry someone else. Bottom line, he meant well for you by telling you he can't continue.

Since you've realized the damage you've done and you genuinely regret it, just move on sis. He'll heal. Time heals all wounds after all.

This pure wickedness.

I plugged in my Fero X1 for charging and it just shut down and refused to come. Had to take it to a friend who repairs phones, he helped me power it on but it got shut down again when I tried charging it again. Sent it to Lagos to their service center and they told me they'll charge me 20k to change to board because someone else had already opened it.
Now I just decided to dump it somewhere for now.

Sad story indeed.
Hope our brothers and sisters will learn from this...
Truth be told: there's no place like home.

Her name's Victoria, and I received the beating of my life in front of everyone in class for writing a love letter to her. Apparently it was my best friend that saw it and reported to the proprietor (saw him this year after nine years...almost didn't recognize him).
I couldn't talk to her afterwards, even though she tried everything possible on her part. I lost contact with her after two years (remember seeing her for the last time but couldn't wave a goodbye at her cuz mum was in the car with me...lol), and seven years later I came back looking for her...asked my guys back in the days about her but was told they've relocated.
I still miss her though....

I spent my early childhood there...most peaceful place in Rivers State, and I still miss it. Hope to work there someday after schooling.

Hmm!
And the circle continues...

15 year olds nowadays sha...
I'll advice you wait till she's 16.
My own thoughts though.

Happy Birthday
Niger Delta Ambassador,
Wene Might
Peace Ambassador,
Duncan Might.
Wishing u all the best.

Finally!!! I know this guy, his name is Justice...stayed next to our room two sessions ago. I think he's supposed to be doing his finals now. His performance at UNIBEN Got Talents wowed everybody. Thanking God for this bro.

[color=#006600][/color]This is why it's important to define what both parties are up. Trust me, guys mean every word they utter when it comes to relationships.

martineverest:
so,nollywood actually shoot movies in less than 2 weeks

Exactly what came to my mind...

[color=#000099][/color]Lesson I learnt from this man
*Be passionate about everything you venture into.
*Talent is good, passion is needful to succeed, but education crowns it all.

Who remembers that is International Day of the Girl Child. Likes for the girl child please.

No offense, but drug addiction doesn't care whether you're a celebrity or not. Once you're addicted, your life starts draining out.

The guy is really not the soft fine boy I used to admire before o!

The first pic though... Adekunle Gold be like,
"Oga Olamide, this skiborobo guy say he wan perform with us. Abeg how u see am na?".

I've heard and read lot about this bipolar disorder of a thing...my conclusion is, this sickness (don't know what else to call is) is a piece of s**t nobody should pray to have or even for a loved one.

But wait o, what am I even typing sef? I do have mood swings at times, an it's crazy...one time am all happy and energetic an other time am all sad and sober (wouldn't care about any other thing or persons around) It happens to me many a times. Could this be a sign of bipolar disorder??

This red barret minister sba...
Hope say we go win?
9ja can disappoint at times ehn...

I trust 9ja judicial system sha...
Bros when you get there,
Just place your right hand on your chest and start saying
"All is well". Keep saying it, don't stop saying it.

What more can I say?
Blame it on B***ri. Na joke I dey o.
To the guys, how market?

Love is all that matters. But me like them...not too fat, not so slim.
Wishing them the very best.

I see a lot of stars going international with this initiative. God bless the man jare.