Just beans and fried plantain

Examined her story closely. You dated him, he wasn't supportive. You married him, he has been nonchalant even when he had some money. Now even after two kids. Why can't anyone see that she dragged an unwilling man into marriage. It's not that she herself was doing very well to suppose that he was a gold digger. She forced him into the union he's unwilling to dwell in. He just wants to over with. NO LOVING MAN WILL BE THIS INDIFFERENT TO HIS WIFE AND KIDS. ACTUALLY, HE LOVES HIS KIDS, prolly tired of shagging a desperate lady who just wanted a husband and is blind to anything else. I'm surprise she's complaining now. Divorce will not help you. You will only be playing into his hands.
If infact this is the case, hmmmm I can only pity you.

Kobojunkie:
Let's for the sake of debate assume the man is depressed. He went ahead and got married, and had kids, all in the midst of depression. He took on responsibilities and burdens that a depressed individual would know not to take on in wisdom. He lost his job and in the midst of all that does not contribute even to work at home, and did not at least cry out for help or ask for it from anyone. I put it to you that those aren't signs of depression but wickedness on top of what may also include depression.

Less take a few steps back and be respectful of the subject in question here. I'm confident that this story is either sentimental or incomplete. Let's just presume she's factual and that means she's made the 'mistake'. Cos I'd like to ask if she didn't even notice this after her first kid enough to avoid a second. It would seem to me she picked the guy and probably pressured him for marriage; as it seems, she too has nothing reality for a job to sustain the home.
So 'mistakes' made, here's the way forward.
Stick to the home and persist in it as long as it's safe(devoid of battery/abuse). This isn't the time to separate from him because what u may have to bear may not be pleasant. Think about it: how long will u stay with your parents, if u eventually move out won't u be paying the rent. Plus u just freed him up from his responsibility at all; he will more easily pick up a new girl and abandon u with the lots. Should life smile at him, you have already given him excuses not to care by quitting on him while he's in his lowest moments.
IF U HAVE THOUGHT CAREFULLY ABOUT IT AND STILL WISH TO QUIT, THEN DO IMMEDIATELY AND FACE YOUR NEW REALITY.
But I tell u, it will only make u another bitter single mum.

Link for Liverpool vs brenford please

Incest from Ogun State again?? Wtf is going on in that state. There have been many reported cases of incest in the last 2 months and ALL of them happened in OGUN STATE. This calls for a closer look. Something is certainly amiss. Is it an ongoing ritual. Terrible! Extremely bad!! Spitsss.

Op please what's your mother's complexion? This is to help rule out any unfounded fears.

Ogun State again? This is very unbecoming. That state has produced at least 5 incestuous men in the last 60 days. How many more are yet to be uncovered? Something is definitely wrong somewhere

Any link pls

Cudeze4:

If you still allow yourself to willingly fall into temptation and then open your mouth and say ''cuz i sleep with another woman doesn't mean i don't love my wife'' then you are the one who needs to grow up. Imagine your dad doing it to your mum, when you are done imagining, give me feedback, little one.

Let’s not judge him. He’s doing his best to bear out his mind. The act of cheating is an act of disrespect not the absence of affection. Ever wonder why the phrase, ‘love and respect’ exists?

It’s amazing how many of us here don’t realize why. It’s just the same reason corruption is endemic in Nigeria.
There’s a huge chasm between LOVE and RESPECT; and the two don’t always go together. Love may be an emotion and is dynamic but respect is usually earned and legitimate. We dread disrespecting because there are consequences, same way people will dread corruption if there are penalties.
Men cheat on women apparently more because they have no respect(fear factor) for them even though they truly love them. The reason is usually because women bring almost nothing into the marriage and there’s almost always another lady outside marriage(who probably has a slight advantage over his spouse) longing for him. In the event he is caught, there are virtually no real penalties. Where there are penalties, he won’t.
In comparison, women tend to be a little restricted after a certain age. As they get older and have kids, the demand for them falls. If they cheat and are caught, the marriage ends, she gets berated and usually there isn’t another viable man out there to take them in. Even worse, they may not have been independent. SO THERE ARE GRAVE CONSEQUENCES, unlike what happens to the males.
So if a man is married to a woman who has earned his respect, he cannot cheat. He will keep weighing the consequences. Mostly, he can’t get a woman of that quality ever again. So ladies, build yourself up and try to earn respect in your homes and you can be sure he won’t cheat on you.

[color=#006600][/color]

Govocrete:
Your principle is great no sex, you want to settle down with a serious man.

Also take into consideration that the guys also have principles too and for everyone to have their peace , do these:

1. Anytime he ask you for an outing, tell him you prefer a Dutch outing (You pay for your food and drinks while he pay for his).

2. Don't bother him about rent, hair and other bill.

Since you prefer things happen your way, allow him to do things for you at his will. Since you want to settle down, start grooming him to the perfect man you want.

By far the most reasonable point.
You have to be contributing to something to build a relationship. If u are an asset, anyone can accept sexless relationship. Especially, if u can demonstrate you can be independent and cater for your needs, while working out plans and ways for personal and collective improvements.
The problem is a lot of women are not wholesome yet for a relationship but want one. You think it's a way out of poverty. You are always in need of money, but u are not there to offer financial help. You want to receive but you can't give.
'Give what?' U will ask. Nothing else but sex..if u have anything better, no serious minded person will bother with sex. I mean it. A lot of the men even here can wait and be happy in the relationship if there's something reasonable u can add to the table.

Its very difficult to advise you on this issue as we don't know enough about this guy. Requesting to stay in your duplex in the mean time appears harmless, unless he's suggesting to love there perpetually. Getting a sincere husband isn't as easy for the single mums in Africa, this is because of our current perceptions. Be kind to him and stay vigilant and observant. Just letting him go doesn't mean u can easily replace him with someone better. It's easy to hear people say let him go, because they don't know how much u need a companion. If u find someone you can work with, give it a try albeit cautiously.
To answer your question, there's nothing inherently wrong in allowing him stay in your duplex for a short while. Refusing him this can easily make him feel unappreciated. Single men consider dating a single mum a huge sacrifice and men who try should be encouraged. A man who is very comfortable to own his own house will probably be gunning for the multitude of beautiful single ladies out there(in the African context). Alternatively, u could elect u stay out of the idea of marriage completely, if u can. These insecurities will always be a problem for you.

FACT: A single comfortable guy in the US will have too many options to be sincerely. Infact he is most likely to be the scam. The father of your child must be comfortable so he left to chase options.
The more likely options you will face are men with kids, who yearn for marriage. The other option is the struggling man who will stay because of his circumstances with varying degrees of temperance. BUT THERE IS NO WAY OF KNOWING WHO WILL BE THERE FOR THE LONG TERM and be devoted.

At this point, it's all a gamble. You get your surety if u stay out of marriage and dating completely. I understand the latter option is too difficult to consider, hence the turbulence.

Choose your battles wisely. If u can't take sh*t, then u probably should not get married. Same goes to many men. I say this advisedly. On the look of it, really, it's easier for the devorced man or widower who is comfortable to remarry, than for a widow or devorced woman with children to replace a mate in Africa. You would probably live a life riddled with disappointments and frustration. We all take rubbish in our marriages perhaps women take more. It doesn't help to counsel women to take rigid uncompromising stance in marriage. It will only undo everything and defeat the very purpose it was intended to achieve.

Point made, Op. Why we get defensive over the truth is beyond me. Why get fixated on propriety of the topic rather than the overall idea? Women, is would seem to me, get a bit overly affected by emotions. I'd accept that marital experiences and appropriate reactions to challenges should be considered in individual terms as highlighted by the Op.
I must express great pity to a lot of women around the world for the extremely confusing social atmosphere they have been unfortunate to thrive in. The question of whether or not to stick with the excesses of feminism and the identity discuss over and above the traditional cooperative, supportive and all embracing African pattern.

bellong:


If you are nominating a medical occupation, you must be registered with AHPRA before applying for PR. To register with AHPRA, you must pass the medical exam.

Other options are Medical administrator if you are one or Primary Health organisation manager.

Thank you for responding. I did not see AHPRA on the ANZSCO search website, but MedBA. Are they same body. I was just trying to avoid doing the exams from back home.

@bellong, is it compulsory for a Doctor to get the medical license before applying for the PR even if he/she doesn't wish to practice for a while

Pls gurus in the house. Are there any doctors in the house pushing for the Aussie PR. I'd like to find out if it's possible to apply for an alternative occupation using the medical degree without a medical license. I'm desperate to move to Australia, pls any useful guide to get in to the country before doing the licensure exams will be timely.

Op at least let’s get a feel of your particulars. You never know, heaven might smile on you; if only to encourage other eligible interested ladies to step forwards.

here is an opinion. The extra asset with humility does it. To command the compulsion to b married, you will need to have something he is proud of; something useful and exclusively coming from you. cooking, washing and serving him in bed is fair, but he can get that just from any woman. Gaining extra skills and exposure attracts wise men.
Aunty A may b a slut but might have that extra quality that the lame and homely Aunty B never bothers to acquire, but rather sits in there to play the LovePeddler

I hope it turned out well for you. This thread has been inactive for a while. In the event that your status has not changed, then feel free to take a risk with me.

Had this dream of being in the bathroom with a lady I recognized as my fiancee. I opened the shower to bathe forgeting that the drains were blocked. when I finished I opened the door of the bathroom only to notice water overflowed into my bedroom and part of my mattress and a few stuffs on the floor were wet. I quickly went abt trying to raise the mattress from the floor to save the day

anyone knows where to get cheap and afford flights to JFK pls help...deeply appreciated.

Can someone kindly guide me as to where to book affordable flight to JFK; twill b deeply appreciated. Been searching through previous post pls

Without intending to derail by any measure, does anyone know how and where to book for cheap flights to JFK NY, your help is deeply appreciated.

Pls help my people. I applied and got my visa approved with help from genuine advice I got here; intending to visit and attend a graduation ceremony in May. I just realized I can't travel early May as contained in my form. I would wish to defer travel date until end of May..Is that going to b a concern at the POE. if so pls what can I do