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I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed - Romance (9) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed (50629 Views)

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Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Jefferic(m): 2:29pm On Apr 26
Grace456:
Help Me Before I Make The Greatest Mistake Pls

I'm a single mother in my early thirties, my daughter is just 2year old and the father is not ready to marry me or take any responsibility on her but still hiding me and his secret wife and won't let me go but I have decided to leave becos he's no adding any value to my life n my daughter's either.

Fast forward
I met a guy online who claims he lives in the US and I discovered I like him since I've met him and now he said we should settle down and marry. I own a duplex in a choice area in Lagos, completed though still small loan I'm paying on it. I agreed to settle down with him but since I told him he can't stay in my house that he needs to get a house, he started acting funny.

The second one, I asked him to show me proof of ID or his work ID, for me to be sure he's who claimed he is, he changed it for me. I tried to let him know that I'm just trying to be careful, don't want to fall prey again but he won't listen to me. He stopped calling and when I call him, he will return my call after like 5hours.

Pls advise me, is it polite for a man to marry and come stay in a woman's house because he said he will soon travel back? This is someone I like to support to get another apartment somewhere else but I haven't told him that. He has really changed in days.

No insult pls...pls ignore rather than insult me pls.

Grace I'm here wooh. I can give you true undiluted love with no string attached.
Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Teaveapoet(f): 2:33pm On Apr 26
Psoul:


Easy said dan done.
Until you are in her shoes, you will not understand why she needs a man in her life.

Don't tell her "No man in her life."
Just tell her to be careful about the men that come to her life.
Even the hardcore feminists will never tell you hw they wet their pillows every night crying for a man in their lives.
They will wake up in the morning, wear their feminist apron and start screaming men are scam just to make u believe they are strong.

Every woman needs a man in her life. Just be careful of the one u pick so that it will not be a disaster.



I never said she doesn't need a man i only said. Not now. Please don't quote me

2 Likes

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Malawian(m): 2:33pm On Apr 26
It's quite amazing women will not want their husbands to live in her own house, but will expect to move into her husband's house. Men dey suffer!
Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by MrMacinterchi1(m): 2:46pm On Apr 26
Be careful o . That's it. That's all. Just be careful.

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by HajiaNotu: 2:56pm On Apr 26
Op
Expect more Dms from guys here grin grin
You have already made one mistake that led you to being a Baby mama.Please avoid another.
Slow down on settling down for now...
Focus on yourself(Heal first) and baby.
Make sure you are emotionally and psycholically fit befor thinking of marriage.

Please.in your next relationship,dont reveal your worth..Get to know the person in and out to the best of your ability before doing that...

My one cent.

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Rrchrd(m): 2:56pm On Apr 26
Grace456:
Help Me Before I Make The Greatest Mistake Pls

I'm a single mother in my early thirties, my daughter is just 2year old and the father is not ready to marry me or take any responsibility on her but still hiding me and his secret wife and won't let me go but I have decided to leave becos he's no adding any value to my life n my daughter's either.

Fast forward
I met a guy online who claims he lives in the US and I discovered I like him since I've met him and now he said we should settle down and marry. I own a duplex in a choice area in Lagos, completed though still small loan I'm paying on it. I agreed to settle down with him but since I told him he can't stay in my house that he needs to get a house, he started acting funny.

The second one, I asked him to show me proof of ID or his work ID, for me to be sure he's who claimed he is, he changed it for me. I tried to let him know that I'm just trying to be careful, don't want to fall prey again but he won't listen to me. He stopped calling and when I call him, he will return my call after like 5hours.

Pls advise me, is it polite for a man to marry and come stay in a woman's house because he said he will soon travel back? This is someone I like to support to get another apartment somewhere else but I haven't told him that. He has really changed in days.

No insult pls...pls ignore rather than insult me pls.
Sister pls be careful if at all the Guy is doing well over there he won't have agreed to come back naija, he just see you as an opportunity or a macca (iwang).dont lets him lure you bc he's living in Yankee pray to God for a better man
Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by zakkxx: 3:20pm On Apr 26
Run for your life na gold digger!! God done safe u; he failed the test!!
Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Genea(f): 3:29pm On Apr 26
Grace456:
Help Me Before I Make The Greatest Mistake Pls

I'm a single mother in my early thirties, my daughter is just 2year old and the father is not ready to marry me or take any responsibility on her but still hiding me and his secret wife and won't let me go but I have decided to leave becos he's no adding any value to my life n my daughter's either.

Fast forward
I met a guy online who claims he lives in the US and I discovered I like him since I've met him and now he said we should settle down and marry. I own a duplex in a choice area in Lagos, completed though still small loan I'm paying on it. I agreed to settle down with him but since I told him he can't stay in my house that he needs to get a house, he started acting funny.

The second one, I asked him to show me proof of ID or his work ID, for me to be sure he's who claimed he is, he changed it for me. I tried to let him know that I'm just trying to be careful, don't want to fall prey again but he won't listen to me. He stopped calling and when I call him, he will return my call after like 5hours.

Pls advise me, is it polite for a man to marry and come stay in a woman's house because he said he will soon travel back? This is someone I like to support to get another apartment somewhere else but I haven't told him that. He has really changed in days.

No insult pls...pls ignore rather than insult me pls.
you have a very sharp mouth, nawa, why must you let them know you have a duplex? Must you give them all the information? Aaahn aaah no wonder you are a single mom, you sound so naive... Stop making it look like you are independent, if not them go run you street big time. You don’t want to end up like the naive women I know, the men ended up having the properties in their name, these women also took loans for them, yet they left them and went after slay queens. Except you want to be lonely and broken in finance and emotional, mind the info you give out. Jeeeez...

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Jimmy231: 3:29pm On Apr 26
Grace456:
Help Me Before I Make The Greatest Mistake Pls

I'm a single mother in my early thirties, my daughter is just 2year old and the father is not ready to marry me or take any responsibility on her but still hiding me and his secret wife and won't let me go but I have decided to leave becos he's no adding any value to my life n my daughter's either.

Fast forward
I met a guy online who claims he lives in the US and I discovered I like him since I've met him and now he said we should settle down and marry. I own a duplex in a choice area in Lagos, completed though still small loan I'm paying on it. I agreed to settle down with him but since I told him he can't stay in my house that he needs to get a house, he started acting funny.

The second one, I asked him to show me proof of ID or his work ID, for me to be sure he's who claimed he is, he changed it for me. I tried to let him know that I'm just trying to be careful, don't want to fall prey again but he won't listen to me. He stopped calling and when I call him, he will return my call after like 5hours.

Pls advise me, is it polite for a man to marry and come stay in a woman's house because he said he will soon travel back? This is someone I like to support to get another apartment somewhere else but I haven't told him that. He has really changed in days.

No insult pls...pls ignore rather than insult me pls.
I swear you have tried and you need to be more careful then he's not showing anything to proof he's identity despite planing marriage. He doesn't even own a house and want to comfortably occupy yours have a rethink husband no be by force. It could have been worse

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by princewarri1985: 3:31pm On Apr 26
Aunty run for your life he is a scam......some guys really have no shame atall, tueh. They go about giving every hard working responsible guy out there bad name......you dont call yourself a man just because of what you have dangling between your legs, go out there hustle hard make money to proove your worth as a man, not by living of the means of women as a shameless gigolo.....Aunty when the right man comes he will marry you and take you to his own house while you put your duplex for rent.... Use your head..he is not real. Next time tell intending suitor that the house belong to your parents so that you can nip their real intention in the bud. Cheers

2 Likes

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Wittyglam(f): 3:33pm On Apr 26
My dear be careful, you have seen all the red flag please don't ignore it. Don't be desperate for companionship, wait before your relationship got to the point of marriage these are the things you should have asked for.
Let him be if he wants you he will provide all those stuffs you asked for. If he doesn't please japa

2 Likes

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by MISSCONGENIALITY(f): 3:44pm On Apr 26
Run and don't look back. Block him and move on. That guys has nothing to offer. He will only bring you pains and tears. He wants to take advantage of you.
I say run ooo

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by 001spice(m): 4:06pm On Apr 26
What other prove do u wat to see b4 u knw that the guy is who he is and his plan is to rib u off.

2 Likes

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Richieniit: 4:09pm On Apr 26
Loverboy3333:


Na them be this



Lol I can never cheat on my woman

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by tiswell(m): 4:51pm On Apr 26
squash47:
Dem go soon cash out for ur head.

That bros abroad is tired of foreign games, he now wants to come Back and play local.

Like how Ahmed Musa came back to play for Local League.

Which well thinking Nigerian man will want to marry and move into his wife's house ?

There is something he is hiding from you.

Modified FTC

I dedicate this FTC to women going through emotional pains in their marriages. May God help you all.

my neighbor, just dey inflict pain on his wife and I feel very sad about it.

Nobody is ready to listen to the woman. Everybody thinks she is wrong. But na d man dey mess up big time.
I just pray she doesn't die of depression.







imagine, your 16 year old mannerless sister go dey insult ur wife and u go dey support d small girl.

some men are Cows.


and you are a man

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Onyi90(m): 5:10pm On Apr 26
Grace456:
Help Me Before I Make The Greatest Mistake Pls

I'm a single mother in my early thirties, my daughter is just 2year old and the father is not ready to marry me or take any responsibility on her but still hiding me and his secret wife and won't let me go but I have decided to leave becos he's no adding any value to my life n my daughter's either.

Fast forward
I met a guy online who claims he lives in the US and I discovered I like him since I've met him and now he said we should settle down and marry. I own a duplex in a choice area in Lagos, completed though still small loan I'm paying on it. I agreed to settle down with him but since I told him he can't stay in my house that he needs to get a house, he started acting funny.

The second one, I asked him to show me proof of ID or his work ID, for me to be sure he's who claimed he is, he changed it for me. I tried to let him know that I'm just trying to be careful, don't want to fall prey again but he won't listen to me. He stopped calling and when I call him, he will return my call after like 5hours.

Pls advise me, is it polite for a man to marry and come stay in a woman's house because he said he will soon travel back? This is someone I like to support to get another apartment somewhere else but I haven't told him that. He has really changed in days.

No insult pls...pls ignore rather than insult me pls.

The early signs are bare before your eyes. True relationship is built on truth, transparency, love and understanding just to mention a few. Everything isn't right with the brother. Don't let ur emotions or desperation cloud ur sound judgement. Wish u all the best and hope u act wisely.
Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Psoul(m): 5:26pm On Apr 26
Teaveapoet:







I never said she doesn't need a man i only said. Not now. Please don't quote me

She needs it now.
Wt a child im her life, she needs a man seriously.
It will save her many things.
She want to protect that little child.
She want that little child grow answering a man's name to help save the child from bn seen as bastard.
If she didn't do it now, it might be difficult for her.
She needs a man to savegaurd her social status.
She needs a man for emotional and physical support.

So when u have never worn a shoe, you will never know where it pains or pinches.
Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by manigold: 5:47pm On Apr 26
Its very difficult to advise you on this issue as we don't know enough about this guy. Requesting to stay in your duplex in the mean time appears harmless, unless he's suggesting to love there perpetually. Getting a sincere husband isn't as easy for the single mums in Africa, this is because of our current perceptions. Be kind to him and stay vigilant and observant. Just letting him go doesn't mean u can easily replace him with someone better. It's easy to hear people say let him go, because they don't know how much u need a companion. If u find someone you can work with, give it a try albeit cautiously.
To answer your question, there's nothing inherently wrong in allowing him stay in your duplex for a short while. Refusing him this can easily make him feel unappreciated. Single men consider dating a single mum a huge sacrifice and men who try should be encouraged. A man who is very comfortable to own his own house will probably be gunning for the multitude of beautiful single ladies out there(in the African context). Alternatively, u could elect u stay out of the idea of marriage completely, if u can. These insecurities will always be a problem for you.

FACT: A single comfortable guy in the US will have too many options to be sincerely. Infact he is most likely to be the scam. The father of your child must be comfortable so he left to chase options.
The more likely options you will face are men with kids, who yearn for marriage. The other option is the struggling man who will stay because of his circumstances with varying degrees of temperance. BUT THERE IS NO WAY OF KNOWING WHO WILL BE THERE FOR THE LONG TERM and be devoted.

At this point, it's all a gamble. You get your surety if u stay out of marriage and dating completely. I understand the latter option is too difficult to consider, hence the turbulence.

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Richthekid: 5:56pm On Apr 26
Hmmmm

Love is not blind again. Women love men for what they can offer while men love women for who they are

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Grace456: 6:27pm On Apr 26
FryMosquito:
See let me tell you, that guy na scammer(yahoo guy) that have never travelled to US before. They full social media with their culprits using spam US phone numbers to lure women to their traps. It's better for you to discharge and disconnect anything you have with him now. Before the main wonders will happen. If you have the skills or who help track that his US number he's using, you will see its a spam or cloned number. Country hard and it's their new format targeted to women, especially if they noticed you're buoyant.

Can you track it
Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Restructure9ja(m): 6:36pm On Apr 26
[color=#006600][/color]m
Grace456:
Help Me Before I Make The Greatest Mistake Pls

I'm a single mother in my early thirties, my daughter is just 2year old and the father is not ready to marry me or take any responsibility on her but still hiding me and his secret wife and won't let me go but I have decided to leave becos he's no adding any value to my life n my daughter's either.

Fast forward
I met a guy online who claims he lives in the US and I discovered I like him since I've met him and now he said we should settle down and marry. I own a duplex in a choice area in Lagos, completed though still small loan I'm paying on it. I agreed to settle down with him but since I told him he can't stay in my house that he needs to get a house, he started acting funny.

The second one, I asked him to show me proof of ID or his work ID, for me to be sure he's who claimed he is, he changed it for me. I tried to let him know that I'm just trying to be careful, don't want to fall prey again but he won't listen to me. He stopped calling and when I call him, he will return my call after like 5hours.

Pls advise me, is it polite for a man to marry and come stay in a woman's house because he said he will soon travel back? This is someone I like to support to get another apartment somewhere else but I haven't told him that. He has really changed in days.

No insult pls...pls ignore rather than insult me pls.

He's shown you the red flags already. You can't marry some one you don't know. There's nothing wrong with him living with you. But it seems you don't know him enough.
Most importantly, it seems you don't really put God first in your matter, this is not being religious. But think of it, have we ever gone wrong or lack peace when we follow God's way?
Your peace is far better than satisfying your ego/flesh. Don't marry him yet until you know him enough. 07042020423
Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by WoundedLamb: 6:52pm On Apr 26
squash47:
Dem go soon cash out for ur head.

That bros abroad is tired of foreign games, he now wants to come Back and play local.

Like how Ahmed Musa came back to play for Local League.

Which well thinking Nigerian man will want to marry and move into his wife's house ?

There is something he is hiding from you.

Modified FTC

I dedicate this FTC to women going through emotional pains in their marriages. May God help you all.

my neighbor, just dey inflict pain on his wife and I feel very sad about it.

Nobody is ready to listen to the woman. Everybody thinks she is wrong. But na d man dey mess up big time.
I just pray she doesn't die of depression.







imagine, your 16 year old mannerless sister go dey insult ur wife and u go dey support d small girl.

some men are Cows.



Are you a man? If so, you're probably the 8th wonder of the world cause it's extremely rare if not impossible to see a man in Nigeria who is not beclouded by the prevalent sexism in the society. And if you're lady, I'd say "bon courage" (sorry, I don't know how anglophones say that).

Men are hardly ever held accountable for anything regardless of how obvious thier flaws are. Even when the woman is clearly the victim, people will still find a way to blame her while treating the man with kid gloves. It could get as low and ridiculous as using her age/physique to judge her or outrightly imagining what she could have done that no one knows about. Lol... funny but no funny.

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by squash47(m): 7:06pm On Apr 26
WoundedLamb:


Are you a man? If so, you're probably the 8th wonder of the world cause it's extremely rare if not impossible to see a man in Nigeria who is not beclouded by the prevalent sexism in the society. And if you're lady, I'd say "bon courage" (sorry, I don't know how anglophones say that).

Men are hardly ever held accountable for anything regardless of how obvious thier flaws are. Even when the woman is clearly the victim, people will still find a way to blame her while treating the man with kid gloves. It could get as low and ridiculous as using her age/physique to judge her or outrightly imagining what she could have done that no one knows about. Lol... funny but no funny.

I'm a man and also reasonable. I have conscience and good Sense of moral judgement.

I know what's right and what's wrong.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by justscorchone(m): 7:43pm On Apr 26
Why this kind women no dey locate me, na always hood rats
Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by FryMosquito: 8:06pm On Apr 26
Grace456:


Can you track it
bring it on, you can dm the no.
Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Grace456: 8:34pm On Apr 26
[quote author=INTEGRITYA1 post=101133936][/quote]

He told me he lodged in a hotel since he got back from USA but I went there unannounced and he later directed me to his friends house living in a ghetto and he said he just checked out from the hotel

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by esiri4jesu(m): 8:43pm On Apr 26
Grace456:
Help Me Before I Make The Greatest Mistake Pls

I'm a single mother in my early thirties, my daughter is just 2year old and the father is not ready to marry me or take any responsibility on her but still hiding me and his secret wife and won't let me go but I have decided to leave becos he's no adding any value to my life n my daughter's either.

Fast forward
I met a guy online who claims he lives in the US and I discovered I like him since I've met him and now he said we should settle down and marry. I own a duplex in a choice area in Lagos, completed though still small loan I'm paying on it. I agreed to settle down with him but since I told him he can't stay in my house that he needs to get a house, he started acting funny.

The second one, I asked him to show me proof of ID or his work ID, for me to be sure he's who claimed he is, he changed it for me. I tried to let him know that I'm just trying to be careful, don't want to fall prey again but he won't listen to me. He stopped calling and when I call him, he will return my call after like 5hours.

Pls advise me, is it polite for a man to marry and come stay in a woman's house because he said he will soon travel back? This is someone I like to support to get another apartment somewhere else but I haven't told him that. He has really changed in days.

No insult pls...pls ignore rather than insult me pls.
You know what to do but because you are in love.Think with your brain and not with your heart.

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Grace456: 9:22pm On Apr 26
jantman:

@Grace456

Can't you stay alone for a while just to figure yourself and put yourself on track?

Must you jump from one relationship to another? Sometimes you ladies are the cause of the heartburn you get from Crazy men who will lie and deceive you

Stay single for a while.



Not that I can't stay alone but it's a bit difficult for me. There r things I will want to do at home but no man to help. Like switch over from light to generator, carry something heavy maybe in the night that the staff would have gone home, maybe start the generator it makes me feel bad honestly

1 Like

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Grace456: 9:28pm On Apr 26
MansoryMX:
A woman in her early thirties, haves a child and not married. Owns and lives in a duplex in a good place in Lagos is usually an expensive Olosho as far Lagos or Abuja is concern. This I know for sure! So it’s a tit for tat situation. I have no advice for this one. Na dem!

How many men will I sleep with to acquire all that at my age? You think everyone is you...frustration must be killing you.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Grace456: 9:34pm On Apr 26
GentlePEACE:


You look like a cool woman. It's a pity you are meeting the wrong men. Pls leave that guy, dont go looking for a man, let it happen naturally, trust me, you will find that right man who will marry you and take your kid as his own.

In the meantime, I'm looking towards a owning an apartment and be paying back monthly. Can you share with the me where you got that service from, I've been to Jaiz bank and they said their mortgage service is available to Gov't workers only.

I don't mind if you can shed little light on this. Thanks Grace

I got the loan with a company account with first bank. Though its TOD I pay back all loans everymonth and get another one immediately then I use access bank alongside and lendigo.ng

For now, no more loan with first bank and a token with access bank.

2 Likes

Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by JesseThunder(m): 9:38pm On Apr 26
Ma'am make your findings, My sister fell for this same shit, collect ID, infact collect old bills paid if possible.


Make findings oh! Hence them go cashout from your body.
Re: I Told My Fiancé That He Can't Stay In My Duplex, He Changed by Insectkiller: 9:42pm On Apr 26
Are you that cheap??

A man sleeping in ur house..are u married to him?
?

Answer those questions then we know wey forward..

Anuofia

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