₦airaland Forum

hopefulLandlord:
You asked for a logical counter so I'd bite


This started playing off on the wrong foot as you've generalised.

There are women that paint men bad. there are women that would conjur nonexistent misconducts, claim the father did it to their children then repeat it again and again from time to time till the child believes it. Do women like this exist? if your answer is yes then you have to admit your starting statement is wrong. OP didn't generalise. he spoke about such women alone.

Nobody is a saint. we all have our flaws and insecurities. we fall short in certain good qualities and excel in some bad ones. if the only way a man can fall short of being "deadbeat dad" is being perfect then you would be correct in labelling all father's deadbeat. I want to believe you're much lore intelligent than that

@bolded You shot yourself here Madam those "Other Times" is what OP is referring to and the bolded shows you didn't take your time to read and/or understand the OP before rushing to reply. an understandable mistake but a horrible one

I do not know if the first part is true but you seem not to know how brainwashing affects a child. there's a reason statistics show children usually take up the religion of their parents and die as one. Humans tend to build trust for certain people especially people who are close to them so a child who's mother keeps talking about how bad his father is would start believing it, if he believes it strongly enough then any act of benevolence from the father would be interpreted by such a child to be the father pretending to care. many Humans tend to believe first then search for evidence that fits those belief while discarding those that don't. This is how propaganda works on the human brain
https://www.wired.com/2017/02/dont-believe-lies-just-people-repeat/

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20161026-how-liars-create-the-illusion-of-truth



There are instances where the woman makes it very hard/impossible for the man to bond with the child. take a look at this story by starboytwo www.nairaland.com/post/82020500


this again showed you didn't take your time to read OP


Starboytwo's story disagrees

Long time Mr. Landlord. Nothing you say will change her mind.

Fountainofyouth:
Reason why I decided to say my two lines sentence at first page cos I know this thread will turn to whining of the male gender just to suit their degrading, dwindling ego,

But the fact still remains that a deadbeat dad is RIGHTLY a deadbeat because he chooses to be so, if he is really the head of the house, he would exercise that notion well, cos I don't see how an adult male will be deprived of being part of his children's lives, if he is deprived of calls, he should look for their school and visit them during breaks, churches, whatever means necessary, not sitting down blaming the "weaker vessel" as they call us lol, who really is the "weaker vessel" in this case? Very laughable

Wow! So now, a man is the head of the house? So you admit despite you feminists calling the notion of a man being the head of the house misogynistic and patriarchal. Lol. Typical woman, always employing any narrative that is suitable.

CAPSLOCKED, JONNYSPUTE, Regiomontanus

1Sharon:
My father isn't deadbeat but my parents arent together so this thread is very relatable

Eyah. Have you connected with your dad?

Regiomontanus:
I have been monitoring both MariaLavina and Martinez39. Martinez39 has refused to answer her. I doubt if Martinez39 will waste his time to answer her.

Indeed I have no time for her. I won't stoop so low. There is a level below which someone's IQ would fall that I can't be bothered to acknowledge their existence.

#GLYCOLYSISS

CAPSLOCKED, JONNYSPUTE, Regiomontanus and the rest have shown that men are beginning to wake up. People must start asking questions.

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Lol. My brother,that's how I do. I buy them stuffs and tell them is from daddy. I don't want to hear stories tomorrow.

Very good. Let them know you are involved. Back in the days, each time my uncle wanted to pay his children's school fees, he would call his wife and children in the sitting room with the bundle of cash on the table. He would tell them that he has provided money for their school fees and is about to pay and he will say "what do you have to say?" and the children will say "thank you" and he will proceed to hug them and tell them nice things. I thought it was unnecessary, weird, and a show off but now I know better.

.

Nigerians are not retaliating because of the xenophobia. This is robbery and looting disguised as retaliation at the xenophobia.

Robbery disguised as retaliation. Beside, I don't see enough scattering.

CAPSLOCKED:
AT LEAST, I KNOW SO MANY ADULTS THAT THEIR PARENTS STILL MAKE DECISIONS FOR. WHO TO MARRY. WHAT TO DO. WHERE TO GO. AND MANY OTHER DECISIONS ADULTS ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE BY THEMSELVES.

SOME PEOPLE ARE TOO BRAINWASHED AND DECEIVED TO REALIZE THAT SOME PARENTS CAN BE UNSMART, SELFISH AND FOOLISH.

THAT'S WHY IN THIS AGE, IT IS YOUNG PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT STILL PEDDLES THE SAYING "WHAT AN ELDER (OR MOTHER) CAN SEE SEE WHILE SITTING, A FULL AGILE MATURED MAN OF 40 CANNOT SEE EVEN IF HE CLIMBS THE PLANET".

MANY ADULTS CANNOT REASON BY THEMSELVES, FOR THEMSELVES.

Are you minding him? The other one was try to insist that, for me to write this topic, I must have been a victim of the kind of mothers I described in my op. People dey dis world.

What she said is true but not always true.

QueenSuccubus:


Haba! U said ur sister died when she was still an infant.. so, na ur wife looks baby abi?

I really don't understand him.

izzou:
You talked about women hiding the contacts of their kids from their fathers. How do you observe such without being inside?

You talked about women poisoning the minds of their kids..

You talked...... Let me just stop here. It's possible you've forgotten all what you typed

Have a nice life. This thread would have made sense if it actually happened to you.

But then, your mum is a real woman. Isn't she?

I know where you are going with this your this but I don't have your time. It's hard to accept that someone can be smart, exposed and very observant...

Anyway, good day. No more replies from me to you.

Are you sure this is not attention seeking? What's the full name of the cousin? Show us his pictures.

Fountainofyouth:
Because it is a male talking, imagine if it was a female....

Yimu. Since you know how not to be diplomatic, what are your objections or grievances with me? Be open enough to answer.

izzou:
All what you wrote there are stuffs that can be experienced when living with people for years

Unless you were tossed around as a house help, it's difficult to observe that

It's all good though

No. I am simply a smart and observant guy. Many people are not observant and don't study their fellow human beings. Many have short attention span and are focused on work and entertainment.

IamPlato:
What Ubunja Said Is Far Different From What You Are Saying...

I said Ubunja's input is needed. Nothing more, nothing less. He doesn't have to agree with me for his input to be needed. His input is needed because he is a wise and experienced guy not because he agrees with me. This is the last time I will respond to you. The bullcrap from you is too much.

IamPlato:
Your IQ is Very High But Wisdom Is What You Seriously Lack...


Why Make A Big Deal Out Of Something Like This? Some Young Folks Here Would Read This And Probably Start Seeing Their Mothers wrongly As Something Different out Of Trying To Be Smart

I never said people should see their mother wrongly. I simply said people should start asking the appropriate questions and not assume without any evidence that their fathers are bad because their mothers told them so. You should read my post and comprehend properly. If only your mother breastfed and nourished you properly, your brain will not be like this.

izzou:
So it was all assumed then.

That's okay

No. As I live, I observe. Many people don't observe because they have short attention span and are nonchalant. Learn to be observant and get some exposure. Good day.

izzou:
Martinez39, did you experience all these?

No. My mother is a real woman.

Ubunja's input is needed in a thread like this.

IamPlato:
Jesus! What Da Fvck Is Wrong With You? First Of All, my Mother Is Not Like This, secondly This Is A Secondary Issue... What You Are Saying Up There Is Not A Very Common Issue...


Maybe Thats How Your Mother Was To You, do Not Generalise It...

One of the reasons why Nigeria is beyond progress is low IQ in it's citizens. Did you not see this in my op?

There are good and bad fathers and there are good and bad mothers.

CAPSLOCKED:
JOKES APART YOU RAISED VALID POINTS IN THE TOPIC.
WHAT IF OUR TERRIBLE DADS ARE NOT AS TERRIBLE AS MOTHER PAINTED THEM TO BE?
WHAT IF RELIGION IS FAKE, AND THE GODS ARE NOT AS POWERFUL AS MOTHER TAUGHT US THEY ARE?

MOST PEOPLE TODAY PICKED UP MORE FROM THEIR MOTHERS THAN DADS WHILE GROWING UP. WHAT IF NOT ALL OF HER TEACHINGS WERE RIGHT?

Don't mind my playfulness. The things I highlighted in my topic are actually happening and it's time for people to start asking the right questions. It's a very serious issue.

CAPSLOCKED:
SADLY, THAT'S HOW MOST PEOPLE WERE RAISED TO SEE THEIR PARENTS.

THAT'S WHY YOU'LL FIND 50 MOTHER'S DAY CELEBRATION IN A YEAR, WHILE YOU HAVE JUST 1 CHILDREN'S DAY AND 1 DAD'S DAY.

AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE CROCODILE TEARS TO ENFORCE THEIR WEAK IDEAS AND PRETEND THEY'RE BEING FRUSTRATED.
MEAN WHILE IT IS THEIR SYSTEM OF MANIPULATING EVERY LIVING THING ON EARTH.

Exactly. Crocodile tears and sentiments. These are what society uses to tell us that mothers care more and what feminists use to lie that women are oppressed.

CAPSLOCKED:
BRAVO, BROTHER. THE HEARTS OF THESE WOMEN, WE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.

Hopefully, many will start to ask questions about their "deadbeat" fathers. Seun and Co are fond of not taking good topics to front-page. The FSM will judge them.

Hope the stupid Nairaland feminists can learn from Sophia Momodu and the other baby mama that it doesn't pay to be a feminist. You think Regina Daniels and Chioma landed their spouses by being feminists, aggressive and "strong and independent"? Chioma acted like a real woman by cooking, respecting Davido as a man and give him peace. Stupid nairaland feminists can't even cook and won't cook for their boyfriends and husbands because it hurts their feminist ego and "they are no man's slave". Seems feminists will never learn instead they will jealously attack Regina Daniels for marry a man too old for her age even though they envy Regina and wish they were in her shoes. These stupid feminists think it is by gra gra. They better humble themselves and start being women.

CHIVIDO2020, carry go.

Seun, lalasticlala, mynd44, Ishilove and Co, please take this topic to front page. You know this can be helpful to people and make them better business persons. Let's see if Seun and his mods care for the good cause.

You know this can be helpful to families(especially children) in resolving a lot of things and undue hatred towards their fathers.

CAPSLOCKED:
IT IS REALLY DIFFICULT TO DRAW ANY LINES BETWEEN YOUR MONEY AND OUR FOREVER ENTITLED AFRICAN RELATIVES AND FRIENDS. EVERYBODY FEELS YOU OWE THEM SOMETHING, EVEN WHEN ITS INSUFFICIENT AND NOT COMFORTABLE FOR YOU.

In the part of the world, the words "family" and "friend" are illusions used by people to just their sense of entitlement towards those they are close to. People are fake.

NB: I am not saying there are no irresponsible and worthless fathers. Of course there are.

Due to the fact that fathers instill harsh discipline and are usually away working to feed the family, children are usually close to their mothers. Mothers usually spoil and pamper their children hence another reason children are close to their mothers. One advantage of this is that the mothers have a huge influence on the minds of the children. During parental dispute and irrespective of whether the wife is at fault or not, women are usually fond of brainwashing and poisoning the minds of their children against their fathers. Even if there is no dispute, some women still control the minds of their kids in order to get the upper hand in the childish game of power they started and are playing in the home.

Most men usually settle matters amicably and are willing to own their mistakes but women, whether or not they are wrong, will always want to "win" the dispute and would go any length to achieve such. Brainwashing and poisoning the minds of the kids against the father is one of the ways of achieving such. In such brainwashing, the children see the father as the bad person while the mum is the angel. Some children later grow up to see that it was the other way around while some never grow out of the brainwashing for many years. As the woman is brainwashing the kids, she keeps the kids distant from the father so that she can successfully fuel the narrative that father is a bad and was never there. She wouldn't even let the father visit instead she always give one excuse or the other or even avoid the father. The woman would even make sure that the contacts of the children are not available to the father. The woman might even put the children in a situation whereby either they are for her or for the father. You can't blame the children for falling for the lies because the mother has appeared so nice and caring to them.

Some mothers would be communicating to the fathers behind the children's back looking for up keeps yet they won't tell the children. They will exploit the kind hearted nature of the father to get money from him by making up stories that children are sick blah blah blah. They will then make it out to be that they are the ones making the money while the father doesn't care. Sometimes when the father wants to see his children, they will charge the fathers money in one form or the other. If they fulfill their promise of let the kids see the children, which many don't, the visit would be short. Afterall, she still let the father see his children, right? She might even post the visit with the pics on her social media so that everyone can see that "she let the kids visit and spend quality time with their papa".

If you are the child of a deadbeat dad who thinks father is evil and mom is good, you have to start asking questions. Here are some of the questions you should ask :
1) Do I believe my father is horrible because I really know him or it's what my mother told me? Have I heard both sides of the story?
2) Does my mother allow free and open access for me to communicate and build a relationship with my father? Is she always monitoring my conversations with my father and asking what we discussed?
3) Has my father been providing money but my mum doesn't tell me?
4) Does my father have my contact number or did my mum make it that my father can only communicate with me through her phone so that she can monitor and regulate the conversation? She could do so to fuel the narrative that mum is good and dad is bad.
5) Nairalanders can make their suggestions.

By asking these questions and making analysis, you would figure out if mum has skeletons in her cupboard or not. It's also possible that your dad could be the one at fault. Check things for yourself. There are good and bad fathers and there are good and bad mothers. Women who do these things are wicked and can't be said to really care about the children. Why are such women reducing their children to properties/pawn to help them get the upper hand in a parental dispute or childish game of power dynamics for their own selfish reasons? Why make their children live a lie that could stay with them forever for their own selfish reasons? This is immoral. Why deprive their children of fatherly love for their own selfish reasons? Why can't they leave their children out of their dispute with their father? Why can't these women have the maturity to admit to their wrongs? Some women even publicly smear the father's reputation with lies to fuel the narrative that mum is good, dad is bad. The worse is when some of the crazies among them murder or maltreat their children to get back at the father.