₦airaland Forum

I expected something sensible, so I wasn't disappointed when I opened the thread

thebosstrevor1:
I don't believe you can take care of a financially independent woman.

Don't wish for yourself something you can't handle.

I know.

But which would you go for, one that always depend on you for her needs or the one that can take care of herself without demanding from you?

Remember, you can't have it all

My kind of woman? One that doesn't possess entitlement mentality, able to cater for herself, a great cook, business wise, intelligent, submissive, and sexually active

dehiero:
Can we get this in hard copy?reading online is very tiring I sleep off easily

this is sooiooo funnny

Hello, Tessygold20! I got your mail.

How may I be of assistance?

SmileDance:
can we talk privately?

Sure. I replied your mail

Hello SmileDance, I got your mail. How may I be of help?

.

iamehmakute:
Real shit going on ,may God save his children.

After I lost my dad around 2000's I traveled down south to stay with an aunt. She was the 3rd wife to a wealthy financial consultant.
We're all aware of the conflict that exists in most polygamous family.

This Man ( my aunties husband) had grown up children from his first two wives ,if I'm not mistaken the last born of the first wife was younger than my aunt by 2 or 3 years.

My aunt had only one child, a female who was around 7 or 8 then.Very dramatic, loves attention and extremely brilliant.
Being a stranger to that house , I knew it was wise not to take sides. So I flowed with everyone.
One morning we were all awaken by shouts and curses amidst tears from my aunty, after enquiry as to why she was shouting and cursing that morning ,we discovered her daughter then 7yrs old told her that the second wife's son put his hands inside her bum bum and fondled her chest the previous day . The description was to perfect for anyone to doubt.
I was skeptical about the allegation because this guy (the second wives son) was different from everyone of them . He was calm, reserved and aside from being a strong Christian ,i Just knew something wasn't right with that allegation . It wasn't a small issue as the police was almost involved but it was resolved the family way.
Last year I got talking with this cousin of mine , now a big girl. We talked about a lot of things and she brought up the topic, that the guy ( second wives son) asked her if she remembered how she accused him of molesting her when she was young. I remembered vividly the incident but she claim she never did such thing. I'm not sure if she was pretending not to remember or she truly doesn't remember.
Funny thing is the guy she accused is now the one amidst her large numbers of step brothers and sisters literally taking care of her material and financial needs as we lost her mum( my aunt) while trying to give birth after her. Dad is retired and doesn't have much as before.

Second case is how my pry 4 teacher was humiliated, assaulted and sacked from school after a classmate of mine whom he tutors after school( private lesson in the school) accused him of raising her gown and trying to insert his dick inside her... We all believed gbemi's story against the man.
The said man spent weeks in the cell, wife left him as she couldn't bare the shame any longer, got suspended from church , the news was broadcasted on radio etc.
Only for the girl to confess after few month that it was all a lie, she said she lied so that she could stop attending the man's mathematics lesson .

She was from a rich home so The case went silent, we never heard anything about it again. Only few of us knew the truth, my mom was a staff of the school so I had updated info concerning the issue. The mans wife came back, school employed him back but the damages had been done. After the incident Mr "A" became a shadow of himself, he had to relocate back to his village and that was the last we heard from him till now , gbemi's parent flew her abroad and now she's married and working there as a certified nurse.

I've so many stories to share concerning false rape allegation , ive not for once been a victim but I've witnessed plenty.lemme stop here, anytime I remember all these events some kind of hatred for women just brew up from within. But above all we let love lead.

This is deep

maxist2020:
Bro you are not alone in this Saga. Mine happened in 2014 the year I got admission into the university, I was staying with my elder brother who is married and his wife also had 2 of her niece staying in the house a boy of about 10 and a girl of 7 then.
I had returned home from school after my first semester 100level exam and I was hoping to have enough rest when my brother summoned me in his room the following day, note my brother is a force man, to ask me what I have been doing with the girl, he said that they caught the girl 7 and the boy 10 having sex and when they were about beating her she said that I was the one that taught her and that I have been doing it to her for a very long time, I was suprised and the same time I was dumb founded but he called his wife, his wife's aunty who came visiting and they little girl to repeat what she said earlier and to my disbelief this girl opened her mouth and said that I have been fucking her.
I saw my self in shambles, nobody wants to hear my part, no body wants to believe that I have never ever thought of such before at this point I was alone in the whole world, my brother's wife was suggesting that they should get me arrested immediately, her Aunty said no that they should rather use family to deal with the issue, my brother abandoned me because he said he doesn't know who to believe, the only angle he seems to have defended me is that since all of us are in the same house at least someone should have noticed it the day I deflowered her.
For 3 days I couldn't eat food and I could not sleep, I prayed and God answered on the third day I called the small girl to the sitting room and started laying courses upon courses on her and who ever instigated her with such idea and that was when later in the day my brother's wife called another meeting and the topic was that she took the girl in for another questioning and she confessed that she lied, that she only called my name to save herself from the beating she would have received that day that they where caught having sex.
But even with their shabby confession the did has already been done I was depressed already and I packed my bag after 2day later, my brother wanted to stop me with threat that he would seize to pay my school fees if I live his house in that manner but I didn't listen, a threat he later carried out but God made me strong and gave me the right Connections and by God grace I was able to train myself in the university.

Secondly sometime around 2017 that was my 400level though I thank God I that I was not alone in the room that particular day as my girlfriend and one of my lodge mate were in my room watching movie,
There is this little girl of about 2 years whom her mother lives next door to mine, the small girl was learning how to talk then, So that day she came into my room and was making troubles and I sent her out to my greatest surprise this little girl cried to her mother called my name and said that " I did her one Conner" pointing to her private part and raising one leg up, that was when one Conner song was a heat in town.
Her mother laughed and every other person laughed but I know that it would have been terrible if others were not there because of her accurate description.
Since then I can never allow any girl who is not 20 years and above to be alone with me in a secluded place because I discovered that the devil want to use them and ruin my life.

I wept while reading your first story. At this rate, I don't even want to have anything to do with ladies or female children.

mrrandomguy:
Fried rice, fried dodo and chicken.
I did not bother to fry the chicken, they say too much oil is bad.

Wow!

Hi, brightfuture24!


I read your dairy thoroughly and carefully. Truly, it hasn't been easy getting jobs but it's like you read my mind. I was thinking about going into the crypto, Blockchain dev and NFT writing niche because as you said, it's just becoming popular and not yet overcrowded.


On the sideline, I have a Google blog where I can post articles and blogs, though I haven't started yet. So, I want that to be a sort of portfolio writing reference for me. With the articles I post there, I could hook clients with proof of past similar works. For example, when a buyer posts their need of a crypto niche writer, I could refer them to check out some past contents I've written so as to get them convinced I'm the best fit for the job.



What do you think?

iLegendd:
If you check my Nairaland account, you'll notice I have 998 threads (not all are important — some were just for cruise and fun). I have only 2 more to make it 1000 posts.

I want to deactivate or go silent for some months or years after these two posts.

So, I want you to suggest the kind of post that'll occupy these two slots and they must be memorable and beneficial to my fans, readers, and haters.

I want you to suggest something that will benefit everyone, or at least, most, as my goodbye posts. I don't want something controversial or dramatic, but educational and mentally beneficial.

The floor is open.

P.S

Still looking for the two girls? Don't worry. It means I will send recharge card to two girls at the end of the thread. Those girls will be the only 2 girls left that I will ever send a card to on Nairaland.

ILegendd, I just saw this and I had no choice but to comment.

As one of your silent fans, even though some wouldn't like to admit how important your threads are to them, I'd like to beg you not to deactivate your account. Sometimes, when I get certain feelings, I come to your threads to gain some things and they've helped me a lot over the years.


You may leave Nairaland,— it's your decision—but don't deactivate your account because your threads won't be accessible once you deactivate. I even googled how to turn webpages into pdf immediately I saw your post but I didn't find any method. We're gonna miss you, but let us feel your presence by not deactivating.


If not for others, do it for those of us that derive teachings from your threads.

Mkayfrenzy:
This is the main reason my mum is partially suffering. I just pray God provides a good job for me soon so I can take care of her. I'm so sad rn.

Don't worry, everything is gonna be alright. I believe, and so should you.


Hard conditions don't last forever

CCC2:
Having a source of income does not guarantee it will continue.
Marriage could come with setbacks for women such as :
Change of location.
Lost of eligibility
Conflict with domestic duties.

These can take a woman off job anytime.
I married my wife who was gainfully employed in Abuja but she had to relocate to Lagos and getting a good job became a challenge. I weighed my option and realized the offers of 50-60k salary isnt worth the attentions my kids will need. She has to suspend her career for 7yrs and to allow the period of child bearing. And as we forged ahead, it was even clearer allowing her take a white-collar job wont be ideal. Had to set her up with my entire savings and she now earns even more than i do.

Note: I took these steps because she proved a good woman within these period of 7yrs and showed she is so much interested in a team work.

If your dont want a dependent woman, find her and make her independent if you can. Her character is much more important than what she brings to the table, because u can help her bring something but u cant change a bad character.

Haven said all this, never allow your wife to be fully dependent because if you die she will be stranded and your children will suffer.

By their comments, we know wise folks .


Your last sentence capped it all. Anything can happen in life. Respect!

Mercychen:
Look, let me not lie. I used to have that mentality of " only a man should work and cater for the family" because that was the kind of condition I was brought up. Where my dad didn't allow my Mom to work or do anything for years until our last born started school.

My dad was the only one shouldering all the financial responsibilities but My Mom on the other hand was always fighting to also get something doing but my dad would have none of it. Not until, we were all grown.

Now, growing up in that kinda setting conditioned my mind badly and I never saw the need for a woman to be financially independent. So I was always seeing Marriage as an escape from financial insecurities. Though one good thing my dad did to brake that jinx was, he made sure we worked after schooling. Like he'll practically take you to his friends ( he was highly connected) companies and tell the to fix you up with a job but within me, I'll be like if I marry all these nonsense will stop lol... Little did I know he was doing me a great deal of good.

Years down the line, after he retired and I was out of the house, staying on my own, i quarreled with my ex over money for Xmas hair because I was out of job then. So, later he came and we made up again. That night he said something very profound that changed my mentality for good.

He said, see, "J gurl" I want a working class woman. Immediately I got the message and we t job hunting.

Now, I didn't go job hunting to please him but because I knew at that instant that I was on my own! So I get to take full responsibility of myself.
His joy when I told him I had gotten a job. He surprised me in school that day.
The security man told me someone was at the gate to see me but I couldn't go and meet him. So he dropped a gift for me. I checked and it was a designer perf I had been dying to have for long. I just shook my head. Mehn.. so from then, I concluded all men are the same. Some may not voice out but.. they all wish their women are financially independent.

I now have this belief that, even if you're not going to support the man with it, at least you should be able to use it to take care of your personal needs and ease your own burden off him.

I'm glad my dad lead me in the way of financial freedom and my ex emphasized on it. And finally how God breath on it and took me to where I am today.

How can I like your comment a thousand times?


Kudos to your dad 'cos I love working class, independent women. I hate people with entitlement mentality, most especially ladies.