₦airaland Forum

Mkayfrenzy:
This is the main reason my mum is partially suffering. I just pray God provides a good job for me soon so I can take care of her. I'm so sad rn.

Don't worry, everything is gonna be alright. I believe, and so should you.


Hard conditions don't last forever

CCC2:
Having a source of income does not guarantee it will continue.
Marriage could come with setbacks for women such as :
Change of location.
Lost of eligibility
Conflict with domestic duties.

These can take a woman off job anytime.
I married my wife who was gainfully employed in Abuja but she had to relocate to Lagos and getting a good job became a challenge. I weighed my option and realized the offers of 50-60k salary isnt worth the attentions my kids will need. She has to suspend her career for 7yrs and to allow the period of child bearing. And as we forged ahead, it was even clearer allowing her take a white-collar job wont be ideal. Had to set her up with my entire savings and she now earns even more than i do.

Note: I took these steps because she proved a good woman within these period of 7yrs and showed she is so much interested in a team work.

If your dont want a dependent woman, find her and make her independent if you can. Her character is much more important than what she brings to the table, because u can help her bring something but u cant change a bad character.

Haven said all this, never allow your wife to be fully dependent because if you die she will be stranded and your children will suffer.

By their comments, we know wise folks .


Your last sentence capped it all. Anything can happen in life. Respect!

Mercychen:
Look, let me not lie. I used to have that mentality of " only a man should work and cater for the family" because that was the kind of condition I was brought up. Where my dad didn't allow my Mom to work or do anything for years until our last born started school.

My dad was the only one shouldering all the financial responsibilities but My Mom on the other hand was always fighting to also get something doing but my dad would have none of it. Not until, we were all grown.

Now, growing up in that kinda setting conditioned my mind badly and I never saw the need for a woman to be financially independent. So I was always seeing Marriage as an escape from financial insecurities. Though one good thing my dad did to brake that jinx was, he made sure we worked after schooling. Like he'll practically take you to his friends ( he was highly connected) companies and tell the to fix you up with a job but within me, I'll be like if I marry all these nonsense will stop lol... Little did I know he was doing me a great deal of good.

Years down the line, after he retired and I was out of the house, staying on my own, i quarreled with my ex over money for Xmas hair because I was out of job then. So, later he came and we made up again. That night he said something very profound that changed my mentality for good.

He said, see, "J gurl" I want a working class woman. Immediately I got the message and we t job hunting.

Now, I didn't go job hunting to please him but because I knew at that instant that I was on my own! So I get to take full responsibility of myself.
His joy when I told him I had gotten a job. He surprised me in school that day.
The security man told me someone was at the gate to see me but I couldn't go and meet him. So he dropped a gift for me. I checked and it was a designer perf I had been dying to have for long. I just shook my head. Mehn.. so from then, I concluded all men are the same. Some may not voice out but.. they all wish their women are financially independent.

I now have this belief that, even if you're not going to support the man with it, at least you should be able to use it to take care of your personal needs and ease your own burden off him.

I'm glad my dad lead me in the way of financial freedom and my ex emphasized on it. And finally how God breath on it and took me to where I am today.

How can I like your comment a thousand times?


Kudos to your dad 'cos I love working class, independent women. I hate people with entitlement mentality, most especially ladies.

Lol

9japride:
At times I wonder how you guys think you can change anyone? Someone who won spoil go spoil. Life has a way changing someone and it's not necessarily the talk of an adviser that changes the person basically.

Hmmm....this is deep

AdorableSat:
Gari jollof
Soak the gari a little, rob it with your hands and steam it for about 35minutes.
Pour it into your pot of mixed vegetables and season to taste.

Is this really garri jollof? It looks funny to view

Adajiele