₦airaland Forum

iLegendd:
Below are names of people who showed interest. If you haven't sent your message to that WhatsApp number above, kindly do so.

If you're just joining and you want to know what this is all about, read this: https://www.nairaland.com/7938376/18-before-2024-nobody-told


Tohmey
ehhmah
Anny69
SuperOnyi
Sulele04
MyExpression
anslemarinze52
Talkisneeded
CaveAdullam
TheMensch
Nemesis0147
StubbornGENIUS
Englishisamust
chariisGRACE
dreamxhaser
Starboytwo
ambitiouschap17
LucaB
kozmicity
PrinceJoeWan
abracadabra123
olutund
Longpriq
Gobengroup
Kryzboy
ThiagoKid
talk2razaq
THELATTERMAN
Generalkorex

@ilegendd, I just got to see your post. Is there still chance to join?

Anny69:
Wow! I'm impressed, we still have a sensible cishet man on Nairaland.


Anyhow, I'm following sha.

This man changed my life

Why You Should Not Set a New Year’s Resolution & What to Do Instead

The New Year is upon us, which means it's time to make a resolution or two. So what will it be this year: lose weight, again; promise yourself a change of job, again; earn more money, perhaps?

The truth is, most of us will do the same thing we always do: set some goals that will be forgotten about by the 7th January, or thereabouts. So this year I'm proposing something different. And the goal-setting gurus will hate me for it.

Yes, I've heard it a million times before; the reason we don't stick to our resolutions and don't fulfill our goals is because they're not SMART – specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.

And while there is a lot of truth in that, for me it's only half the story.

So this year, I'm throwing the rulebook out the window and offering you an alternative pathway.

Do nothing. Don't set any resolutions or goals.

And if you must set a resolution, then make it this: Give up wanting anything to happen in the New Year.

And if you have to set a goal, set a goal to set no goals.

''What! But it's New Year. A time to restart the clock, to set about achieving all that's possible and to fulfill my potential!"

Yadda, yadda… Forget it. If you don't want to find yourself in exactly the same position this time next year, thinking the same thoughts and feeling the same feelings, do this instead:

Rather than rushing forward in a panic to set resolutions or a list of goals you can start on New Year's day, forget all that and enter the New Year in a mode of being absolutely present, and absolutely positive about how great it's going to be.

If you do this, and endeavour to maintain this approach, you'll end up doing everything you're supposed to as and when it's supposed to be done.

Stop the “I must” thought mill turning over all the things you should have done this year that you'll “definitely do next year”.

Enter the New Year with zero pressure on your back to do anything other than remain open to the possibility of your potential, receptive to change and ready to show compassion to yourself for your shortcomings.

Out of the state of being will arise all the doing, and achievements you never planned for but will be amazed to see unfold.

The reality is that there's no point in setting the same resolutions you've been setting for years on end, only to feel disappointed and down on yourself.

Remember what Albert Einstein said:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

This cycle only perpetuates feelings of failure and inadequacy, which is wholly negative and certainly not conducive to achieving goals.

Consider for a moment why you haven't shifted that weight, changed that job, built that shed in the garden or watched your son play football more often.

Maybe you didn't really want to, or maybe you were busy prioritising things that don't bring the soul-fulfilling contentment to your life that you internally seek.

Maybe you thought so hard about doing positive things that you didn't get around to actually putting them in motion.

Now there's a thought. Why is it that for all the motivation you have before the 1st January, you get more unproductive as the year goes on?

I'm willing to bet that it's because for the last x amount of years, you've been setting New Year's resolutions without really knowing what you really want out of life.

You are not doing what your heart is yearning for.

Perhaps your resolutions and goals are based on the expectations of others.

Perhaps you are being driven by a false need to conform to societal norms.

So this year, it's time to make a real change. It's time to take stock of where you are and what you want out of life, not to continue doing what others expect you to do or what you think might make you seem or feel more successful or more appealing.

How about, for this New Year, you just allow you to be you?

It doesn't seem like a big resolution, but in fact this is absolutely massive.

Try it.

It doesn't matter how many goal-setting guides you follow, the moment you stop piling pressure on yourself to undertake resolutions that you aren't wholly committed to, or don't even really want, is the moment you give yourself a chance to breath – to be present enough to see the wood for the trees.

That breathing space allows us to see who it is that has been doing all the doing, who it is who has been trying to reach all these goals and get to these moments of self-actualisation that never seem to quite plug the hole of fulfillment.

New Year or not, once we turn the search inwards and start truly understanding the “self”, the actor playing the role, we aren't just given a chance to start again; it's more than that. We are reborn, and most importantly, set free.

And this is the feeling a New Year should bring. A feeling of release. A feeling of newness. A feeling of being free.

Being here and not there, off in our mind's evaluations and projections all the time, and knowing instead of assuming and predicting what could be or might be “if”, gives rise to a purer awareness of self, and opens a pathway for clear seeing to navigate life's rough seas.

Of course there's always room for improvement in life, and yes, goal-setting can be a positive activity.

But if you always feel short-changed by your efforts and rewards, then perhaps it's time you stopped forcing yourself, stopped making empty promises to a stranger, stopped living through the expectations of others and instead made friends with yourself and the wonderful being that you are.

Empty your glass and step into this New Year without baggage from the last. If it feeds your soul, do it. If it makes you want to get out of bed in the morning with a smile, carry on.

Spring board into the New Year and let your positive energy synchronise with the earth and give you the clarity to move forward and be comfortable and contented with who you are.

Let go of the expectations of others and, for once, let your intuition take the lead in guiding you through the year.

I guarantee you will attract an abundance of positive opportunity into your life.

COPIED: www.mindfulness.com

youngsum:
Hello nairalanders rejoys with me


Today the 5th of December I received my first salary in life as a fresh graduate which I was employed as a school teacher last month.


Do you think I will be able to get marry with this salary by next December?

You spent so many years in school only to graduate and be employed as a teacher receiving 22k per month (which I'm sure will continue to reduce)?

Yet, the next thing on your mind is to keep saving up for marriage. Is that the next thing to consider? How will you feed your to-be-wife and kids with the 22k you are earning? Guy, you aren't stable yet and marriage is what's on your mind?

You need to do better.

reddingtonblack:
itel powerbank from any accredited seller is a smart choice, rugged and pocket friendly

I've been using the Itel power bank for a year now. Highly durable and lasting.

Samantha124:
Matshila a gago, masepa tena.

Samantha124, sorry about that. You should learn to ignore a lot of people on this forum though. They aren't worth the stress .

Newborn27:
I never hid backstage to do anything Sir.....the person I mentioned here Mavinsoladele was commenting on my usage on the Yoruba proverbs on the thread..."cook in your kitchen and post it here"


After replying him twice on the thread...I realized I might be derailing that thread being an old member of this great forum over a decade....I replied him on an old post of his to continue the conversation which he requested for my contact.



My advice to the man planning to gift his kids is genuine... asking him to go back to his wife and kids but he gave tangible reasons why that isn't in sight and I respect his opinion.


Check through my previous posts on here and show a single place I've ever dragged a man ok here..... despite the bitter experiences life had taught me at 29yrs old...I never resulted to being bitter....I don't do feminist or red pill things cos I hate generalization....that a man betray me doesn't mean I should start seeing all the male gender as evil... I have a father... brother... friends... lecturers...pastor's ....bosses and mentors that are exemplary male...I don't drag no one....I always say the true as it is.



In the aspect of asking oliverwrites to remember my kids and I in the spirit of his yuletide's celebration was not a fraud nor lie....I wouldn't abuse him if he choose not to as I never worked for him...as a single mom I can't confidently say I can do it all...the shouldering of responsibilities especially in this dispensation of high cost of things....I sometimes plead for help when it's becoming choking rather than sleeping around.....at 29... I'm not writing myself off to see men as bittered person...I will still get legally married and have a balanced home if God is willing... kindly get your facts right before calling people out Sir....you can prove where I drag someone on here too.


Shalom .

@Newborn27 I'm angry at you. Why?

You dignified him with a response this long 😌. There are a lot of bitter people everywhere and you don't need to reply him.

@Goalminded1, try not to generalize, please. Don't just judge anyone by what others are doing.

That's the kind of response she should have given you 😂

Newborn27:
I'm actually not wise...only God gives and has wisdom.
0897

I agree . I got the contact. You can remove it now.

Thanks!

Newborn27

It's a pleasure. I don't know if you mind being in contact on socials (WhatsApp), just as friends to learn from each other.

I always love meeting new and wise people .

Newborn27:
FHG?

Kindly write the full meaning....I don't belong to any society but RCCG parish.


I'm used to the act of using Yoruba proverbs to buttress my point.


It's a norm for me both offline and online.

FHG signifies Faith Heroic Generation Global Enterprises. We are a group of network marketers and online freelancers all over the world who help people achieve financial independence and also provide solutions to health challenges in the society.

I'm actually a member of RCCG too and I'm based in Akure, Ondo State.

I love the fact that you back up your points with Yoruba proverbs. That proverb is most times used in our organization and that was why I asked.

I have a lot to learn from you.

Newborn27:
Many people hasn't seen garri to drink...be grateful for what you have and work harder for a better future.


Things are hard everywhere...no one is smiling...the few people that ought to help would either call you a scammer or lazy youth.


Fight poverty with every breathe in you.....ajumobi o kan taanu...eni Olorun ran sini lon seni loore.

From the quote (ajumobi o kan taanu...eni Olorun ran sini lon seni loore), are you a member of FHG?

Sorry for your regret.

Kingbenn:
Wait, what? First time FP. Seun is it true that you give money to those who made it to the FP? Abeg ask for my aza, country sweet abeg.

Back to the subject matter, I can't really say but let's wait for the doctors in the house to profound solutions

*** To proffer solutions

immortalcrown:
You made a good attempt. Keep it up. I wish you more wisdom so you can improve in your knowledge and your teachings.

But your teaching here is biased. I mean, it is one-sided. Women use "I love you" to collect money from men. Some women use the sentence to collect transport fare and block the guy immediately. In the name of love, a boy will buy a girl an expensive model of iPhone on her birthday and she will buy him 3 boxers and 3 singlets on his own birthday. But you are here sounding as if women suffer it most.

Women equally use the term love to deceive men. Apart from prostitutes and victims of rape, every woman that gives a man her body willingly do it as her own demonstration of love, and every man that goes to a woman for sex do it as his own demonstration of love for the woman. So, it is equal here.

The perversion of love is not by men alone. As a matter of fact, women do it more than men. The only reason men foolishly train girls in universities or establish the girls in business and the girls later dump the men is because the women assured the men love. How many women have invested their resources in the men that claim to love those women and the men ended up dumping the women? Answer this question. All the women who commit paternity fraud use love as a tool for it. They give their husbands fake love and profess love the boyfriends or sugar daddies that impregnate them. And when you call for DNA tests, people silence you in the name of love. They will tell you to love you wife by trusting her.

So, if you want to talk about the perversion of love, do not focus only on men because the other gender is also guilty.

You speak well, no doubt

Bliss62:



They will always want to change you like you didn't have a working life before them



.

I don't think there is anything wrong in her saying that. Or would you prefer he remains a slave to his boss forever? Because believe it or not, he doesn't have freedom as his own boss

Ever8090:
Very good advice....

What sort of meme is this?

Rich4god:
Averagely, people spend about 5k monthly on data.

Which person 5k go pay him salary for this naija.

Thank you very much for this input. With my workload per month, I don't spend more than 5k for data sef...

epicpersonas:
Rules

drop one name or petname or nickname
six letters maximum

And i'll create this amazing gold colored baseball cap for you or your love
Please not it is only digital use, for social media and not physical

limited time offer to first 10 - 20

examples below

Mavins

Thank you God for making me a man 😙

Sirmwill:
Where has your own high level of English taken you to?

🤔

Nicepoker:
How can you save him. Are you his personal lord and saviour? Allow him to perish.

🤣🤣🤣

Aba faith, i loved the way he disciplines us whenever we err and he never wants us to suffer. Even though he doesn't have a stable job, he makes sure he takes care of his family in any way he can.

Also generous to a fault, a characteristic none of we his children took from him . I'm a stingy koko, likewise my siblings.

But my pman dey beat sha ooo... I remember the day he beat my elder sis with cutlass. Terrible day.

What is wrong with GNLD?