₦airaland Forum

BREAKING NEWS!!! THIS JUST
HAPPENED
AT SENATOR OMISORE'S
RESIDENCE*
[Omisore punching calculator and
writing on his note pad. Then the
phone rings]
OMISORE: Hello! Who is this?
GEJ: It's me your President. Sorry
about the
loss ehn...This APC rascals are stubborn ooo.
OMISORE: Ha, my president, na so we
see
am ooo. In fact, that yeye
Raufu get juju.
[Continues punching calculator loudly]
GEJ: Iyiola, what is that sound I'm
hearing?
OMISORE: I'm calculating sir.
GEJ: Calculating what?
OMISORE: All the money that I've lost on
this election sir. Ha, owo
wo igbo ooo. With all the bags of
rice, salt
and gallons of kerosene.
GEJ: My friend stop that! Afterall, it is not
really ur money.
OMISORE: [Speaking in agony] What
do I do
about this 1,000 bottles
of champagne now! GEJ: 1,000 bottles of
what! Do you
plan to
open a bar?
OMISORE: No sir! I planned to use it
for
celebration when they declare me as winner
ni. Ha! Mo gbe
ooo.
GEJ: Stop that my friend! It is a
blessing in
disguise!
OMISORE: Blessing how! You know I'm not
from the royal family and
the Ooni of Ife has no plans to die
now. So
being king is not an
option. GEJ: I am making you an
ambassador. A
very special, very powerful
and very dignified ambassador.
OMISORE: [Quickly drops calculator]
Ambassador to where sir? GEJ: To Liberia.
You will have 3
private jets,
4 large mansions, fleets
of cars, several foreign accounts...
OMISORE: Ehnnnn!!!!
GEJ: Forget what you're thinking. You're a
man nw... We shall
provide you with golden gloves,
diamond
nose pads, extreme
security... [Omisore faints on the other end of
the line]
GEJ: Hello! Hello!! Hello!!! Chai!
Network
ehn..

"If we have applied this wave of national consciousness on ‪#‎Ebola‬ to ‪#‎BokoHaram‬ crisis, ‪#‎Nigeria‬ would have saved 5000 lives & billions of dollars.

The only 'good' thing about ‪#‎EbolaOutbreak‬ in #Nigeria is; it doesn't seem to divide us along ethnic & religious lines like the ‪#‎Boko‬ Haram crises"-Ahmad Sakida

"If we have applied this wave of national consciousness on ‪#‎Ebola‬ to ‪#‎BokoHaram‬ crisis, ‪#‎Nigeria‬ would have saved 5000 lives & billions of dollars.

The only 'good' thing about ‪#‎EbolaOutbreak‬ in #Nigeria is; it doesn't seem to divide us along ethnic & religious lines like the ‪#‎Boko‬ Haram crises"-Ahmad Sakida

SirShymex: What year was the picture below taken?

That's one smooth muthafvcker - dapper.



https://scontent-a.cdninstagram.com/hphotos-xfa1/t51.2885-15/10576034_1454864604775239_1554837034_n.jpg

A picture taken 13th July 1977, in Stockholm Sweden OPEC summit

Very rare indeed!In years to come,ebola cure will be pictorially remembered.

Bathing in Salt & Water cures Ebola, right?

Y'all who believed this should go to Elegushi beach & bathe from there to Apapa Wharf. That is original salt water mixed by nature & 100% efficient against the Ebola virus.

In a time when coaches and managers come and go with reckless abandon, Nigeria is trying to lead the way forward on the African continent. Although coach Stephen Keshi resigned after the Super Eagles bowed out of the 2014 FIFA World Cup™ in the Round of 16, the former international captain is still in negotiations to keep his job. Supporters in the football-mad west African nation are hopeful that a positive announcement from the two parties will come soon.

Since 1960, the only coach who has spent a longer time in charge of the Super Eagles was Dutchman Clemens Westerhof, who guided the fortunes of the team from late 1989 till after the 1994 World Cup. Keshi's longevity is all the more remarkable given that he is still in the mix after three international events, but that's a mark of his success. Most significantly, in 2013, he brought Nigeria their first African title since 1994, when the former defender captained the side under Westerhof.

But it is not only in terms of titles that Nigeria has benefited from Keshi's expertise as the team is ranked higher now in the FIFA/Coca-Cola World Ranking than it was when 'Big Boss' took over. At the time, the Super Eagles were ranked 44 in the world. Now they are currently ranked ten places better. After being handed the job in 2011, Keshi said that he was determined to take the side to success. "I will try to do to my utmost best to bring back joy to Nigerian people. There are challenges all over the place but I just have to keep my focus and see what happens."

World Cup jump
In February this year Nigeria were ranked 47 after finishing third at the African Nations Championship, which is a tournament in which only players from the local leagues are eligible to play. They then embarked on a series of friendlies against higher-ranked teams. Draws against Greece, Mexico and Scotland, as well as a 2-1 defeat against the 13th-ranked team in the world (in June), USA, saw the Super Eagles continuously climb in the rankings.

The west Africans were drawn into a difficult group at the 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil, facing Argentina, Iran and Bosnia and Herzegovina in Group F. A draw against Iran, a victory against Bosnia and a 3-2 defeat against Argentina saw the Super Eagles advance to the second round, where they faced France. And although a 2-0 defeat sent them packing, they secured enough points to further climb on the FIFA ladder.

Before the start of the tournament, Keshi received some support from Westerhof, who told journalists: “Stephen Keshi is the boss; he decides which team he picks. Let Keshi do the job... He has already achieved results so far by winning the African Cup of Nations Cup, and qualifying for the World Cup.”

At the start of the World Cup, Nigeria were ranked 44 in the world and sixth in Africa. At the end of the tournament, they had moved up ten more places on the global scene, and only Algeria and Côte d'Ivoire were ranked higher in Africa.

Keshi shies away from saying that the upsurge in Nigerian football fortunes is based on his coaching, but he told FIFA.com that he was confident that consistency made a difference. “When I was employed, I chose a path I would follow and I have followed that path. I have not strayed from that path, and I think that the results show that we are on the right path with the national team.”

It could well be that should Keshi stay in charge of the team, a successful campaign in the 2015 Africa Cup of Nations qualifiers – where the Super Eagles are facing South Africa, Sudan and Rwanda – could see the Nigerians climb even higher in the FIFA rankings. Although their current ranking of 34 is still some distance from their highest placing – fifth in the world in April 1994 – Keshi could well be the man to take them closer to that position.

http://www.fifa.com/worldranking/news/newsid=2417265/index.html

Dear Friends, be aware of these four good-hearted friends: the helper, the friend who endures in good times and bad, the mentor, and the compassionate friend.

The helper can be identified by four things: by protecting you when you are vulnerable, and likewise your wealth, being a refuge when you are afraid, and in various tasks providing double what is requested.

The enduring friend can be identified by four things: by telling you secrets, guarding your own secrets closely, not abandoning you in misfortune, and even dying for you.

The mentor can be identified by four things: by restraining you from wrongdoing, guiding you towards good actions, telling you what you ought to know, and showing you the path to samsaric heavens.

The compassionate friend can be identified by four things: by not rejoicing in your misfortune, delighting in your good fortune, preventing others from speaking ill of you, and encouraging others who praise your good qualities

The argument that the APC has become polluted because some PDP members crossed over is a spurious fallacy. How come PDP can welcome APC but APC can’t poach from PDP. At the end of the day, we are all human beings from the same country and what matters is to find more of sensible and forward-looking ones in one party than the irredeemable characters in the other. -DELE MOMODU

See wat EBOLA av caused now.
I Just switched on My Nokia Phone Dis Morning & The Two Hands Refuse to Shake Hands.

“Everything about Bola Tinubu is fake; his name is fake; his mother is fake; his place of birth is fake. For the sake of what he stands to gain, he abandoned his parents in Iragbiji in Osun State"

YOU DEY FEAR?

NIGERIA though is classified among the third world nations; the country remains the destination where citizens and tourists pay the highest rate for hotel accommodation in Africa.

An investigation carried out by The Guardian reveals this truth.

A survey of hotel rates across the continent shows that hotels in Nigeria charge the highest rate in comparison to hotels in other African countries, and this includes four to five-star hotels with branches spread across the continent.

For instance, while Southern Sun Gold Reef City hotel, Johannesburg, South Africa, a subsidiary of TSOGO Sun Hotels charges equivalent of N24, 500 per night for a standard room, Southern Sun Mayfair Nairobi Kenya charges an equivalent of N38, 070 for Standard King Bed; but Southern Sun hotel Lagos, Nigeria charges N61, 000 for the same type of room per night.

For Suite, Southern Sun Hyde Park Sandton, South Africa charges N89, 000 while

Southern Sun Lagos charges N115, 000 per night.

Significant difference is also noticed in the room rates posted by Intercontinental Hotel Group, Sheraton Hotel Group, and Radisson Blu Group between their Lagos branch and those in other African cities.

While Intercontinental Hotel Group charges N23, 814 for a room with king Bed (Superior) in Nairobi Kenya, charges N45, 360 for same in Accra, Ghana; it charges N46, 656 in Lagos.

Sheraton Pretoria South Africa charges N28, 262 for Classic Room, Sheraton Abuja Charges N54, 085 for the same type of room; and while Sheraton Dreamland Hotel Egypt charges N10, 854 for lowest standard room, Sheraton Lagos charges N48, 015 for the same type.

In Capetown, South Africa, Radisson Blu charges N43, 758 and N54, 468 per night for a Standard Guest room and Business Class room respectively, while Radisson Blu, Lagos charges N49, 086 and N69, 336 respectively.

The details of rate variation in different hotels across Africa will be reported on this page next week.

Note: Currency Exchange is prepared at 162 Naira to $1 US Dollar and 15.3 Naira to 1 Rand.

http://ngrguardiannews.com/saturday-magazine/travel-a-tourism/173318-nigerian-hotels-charge-highest-room-rate-in-africa

MrPresident1: What is Ebola? Is it the name of a new movie?

Abi is it the latest game in town?

I keep hearing Ebola Ebola Ebola... wetin be Ebola

It is the shortened form of ADEBOLA.

YOU SERVE A GOD WHO NEVER FAILS..

He never fails to kill your enemies.
He never fails to kill the children of those you hate.
Like El-Rufai... or Shagari's four sons... or even those of Zakzaky
It could even be the children of George Bush, or Tony Blair
He never fails to destroy enemy territory
Reducing them to rubble.

But he never remembers to give you the cure for Ebola
An oyibo man will do that one.
He doesn't give you the intelligence to invent mosquito-repellent air-conditions
Or eradicate Malaria
Korea and Chinese man will do that one.
He provides you enough stolen money to buy the latest car
He makes you oppresseth your neighbor
But the Germans, the Japanese will manufacture all the wonderful things of life that god has promised you.

He didn't give you any ideas about how to cure HIV
Even simple hygiene you havent been able to sort out
Your African children drink water filled with bacteria
Your politicians loot all the money and take it abroad to better economies of those who no longer throng to worship.
Your abode lay in waste, your country loses three-quarter of its territory to terrorists.

But you have a God, who never fails to kills your enemies
Even the enemies of your friends

That cannot be the real God, the merciful creator of humanity.
So which 'god' exactly, do you serve?

For if God was that predisposed to destruction and wickedness, he for don kill all of us.
Didn't our people say "Man no be God, if man be God, people for chop sand!"

That behind every successful man is a woman is a hypothesis to be ignored. Far be it from me to believe or subscribe to it. What about the contributions of the man’s biological mother, father and the siblings? Where was the wife in the struggling days? Is it only when a man is successful that the success is attributed to the wife? What, if the husband is poor and unable to eke a living? Come off it! The saying is a hyperbole. It is a platitude to please a wife. Some wives keep their husbands’ relatives at arms length to deny them of shares in their wealth. Ascribing the successful life of a man to his wife is fallacious. What I believe in is the conjugal maxim of compatibility- pares cum paribus-birds of the same feather fly together.

“The world of books is the most remarkable creation of man. Nothing else that he builds ever lasts. Monuments fall, nations perish, civilizations grow old and die out, and after an era new races build others. But in the world of books are volumes that have seen this happen again and again and yet live on, still young, still as fresh as the day they were written, still telling men's hearts of the heart of men centuries dead.― Clarence Day

It is chiefly through books that we enjoy intercourse with superior minds. In the best books, great men talk to us, give us their most precious thoughts, and pour their souls into ours.God be thanked for books; they are the voices of the distant and the dead, and make us heirs of the spiritual life of past ages.Books are true levellers,they give to all who will faithfully use them,the society,the spiritual presence of the best and the greatest of our race.-William Ellery Channing


“Reading is the royal road to intellectual eminence...Truly good books are more than mines to those who can understand them. They are the breathings of the great souls of past times. Genius is not embalmed in them, but lives in them perpetually.” -William Ellery Channing

I watched a documentary on the German team in 2010, when they had young fast and fluid players. The documentary talked about how they had to go back to the drawing board 2004 and set out a long term plan for the national team, how they had meetings with the coaches in the Bundesliga and laid out the style of play they wanted them to adopt, how they brought young players through the ranks and encouraged more German players in the local league, etc.
Moral of the story, success does not "just" happen, it is not by holding hands and praying before and after matches, it is not by asking Nigerians to "pray for us", it is not by prophecies from the man in the Sinagogue, it is not by wishful thinking or how loud the drums of your supporters clubs are. Germany worked for this for 10 years and finally got it.
It is a new dawn in human affairs, countries work hard at goals and execute well thought out plans. We either learn and conquer or we persist in superstitions and become casualties!

On July 13, 2006 Joachim Loew was named the Head Coach of Germany. On July 13, 2014, he won the World Cup. Before then, he had been the assistant coach. Continuity sure pays.

blesszzy: messi golden ball, does he really deserves dat?

Well, apparently, he was VOTED the best player of the tournament. Considering his crucial goals, assists, the amount of chances he created for his horribly off-form teammates, and that he made it to the final, it's fair enough.

Wives and partners all over the world. Thank you. You may now have the TV remote back.

Until August. Weekends.

In a couple minutes from now,Professor Oluwole Akinwande Soyinka will turn 80.Let us open the deluge of tributes for one of the greatest Nigerians of all time as he steps on the ladder of the octogenarian age group.

A pangram is a sentence containing every letter of the alphabet.It is also known as a holoalphabetic sentence.Pangrams have been used to display typefaces, test equipment, and develop skills in handwriting, calligraphy, and keyboarding.Examples are:

1.The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

2.Forsaking monastic tradition, twelve jovial friars gave up their vocation for a questionable existence on the flying trapeze.

3.While making deep excavations we found some quaint bronze jewelry.

4.The job requires extra pluck and zeal from every young wage earner.

5.A mad boxer shot a quick, gloved jab to the jaw of his dizzy opponent.

Important Facts about Earth
Total Surface Area— 510,064,472 sq km
Total Land Area— 148,940,000 sq km (29.2% of Planet Earth's surface)
Total Water Area— 361,132,000 sq km (70.8% of Planet Earth's surface)
Total Population— 7.04 billion
Total Weight— 5.9722 × 1024 Kg
Total Volume— 1.08321×1012 km3
Total Age— 4.54 billion years
Surface Gravity— 32.041 ft/s2
Distance from Moon— 384,403 kmWorld Map
Distance from Sun— 150 million km
Equatorial Radius— 6,378.1 km
Mean Radius— 6,371.0 km
Polar Radius— 6,356.8 km
Orbiting Speed— 29.78 km/s
Orbiting Time— 365.256363004 days
Surface Temperature— -88/5(min/max)°C
Orbit Size around Sun— 92,956,050 miles (Semi Major Axis)
Period of Rotation— 23.934 hours
Speed of Rotation— 1670 km/hr
Distance from nearest Planet— 38 million km from Venus
Total Continent— 7 (Asia, Africa, Europe, North America, South America, Australia,
Antarctica)
Total Ocean— 5 ( Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Southern, Arctic )
UN Recognized Countries— 193
Total Seas— 137
Primary Tectonic Plates— 8 (African, Antarctic, Australian, Eurasian, Indian, North American, Pacific, South American)
Largest Continent— Asia, 43,820,000 sq km (29.5% of total World landmass)
Smallest Continent— Australia, 9,008,500 sq km
Largest Country— Russia, 17,098,242 sq km
Smallest Country— Vatican City - 0.44 sq km
Largest Ocean— The Pacific Ocean - 155,557,000 sq km
Smallest Ocean— Arctic, 14,056,000 sq km
Highest Mountain— Mount Everest, 29,029 ft - Nepal
Longest River— The Nile - 6,650 km
Largest Lake— The Caspian Sea - 371,000 sq km
Average Life Expectancy— 67.2 years

1. Ants never sleep!
2. When the moon is directly overhead, you will weigh slightly less.
3. Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never called his wife or mother; because they were both deaf.
4. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
5. “I Am” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
6. Babies are born without knee caps – actually, they’re made of cartilage and the bone hardens, between the ages of 2-6 years.
7. Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.
8. Butterflies taste with their feet.
9. A “jiffy”, is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
10. It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
11. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
12. Minus 40° Celsius, is exactly the same as minus 40° Fahrenheit.
13. No word in the English language, rhymes with month - orange - silver -or- purple.
14. Shakespeare invented the words “assassination”and “bump".
15. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
16. Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
17. The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
18. The sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”
uses every letter in the English language.
19. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
20. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
21 The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
22. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from the blowing desert sand.
23. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
24. You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.
25. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
26. The dot over the letter “i” is called a 'Tittle'.

In New Zealand there is a hill called Taumata­whakatangihanga­koauau­o­tamatea­turi­pukakapiki­maunga­horo­nuku­pokai­whenua­kitanatahu.Taumata­whakatangihanga­koauau­o­tamatea­turi­pukakapiki­maunga­horo­nuku­pokai­whenua­kitanatahu is the Māori name for a hill, 305 metres (1,001 ft) high, close to Porangahau, south of Waipukurau in southern Hawke's Bay, New Zealand.

The name would be often shortened to Taumata by the locals for ease of conversation. The New Zealand Geographic Placenames Database, maintained by Land Information New Zealand (LINZ), records the name as "Taumata­whakatangihanga­koauau­o­tamatea­pokai­whenua­ki­tana­tahu". It has gained a measure of fame as it is the longest place name found in any English-speaking country, and it is the second-longest place name in the world, according to Wises New Zealand Guide and reported in the New Zealand Herald.

The name on the sign that marks the hill is "Taumata­whakatangihanga­koauau­o­tamatea­turi­pukakapiki­maunga­horo­nuku­pokai­whenua­kitanatahu", which translates roughly as "The summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the climber of mountains, the land-swallower who travelled about, played his nose flute to his loved one". At 85 letters, it has been listed in the Guinness World Records as the longest place name.

SALARIES OF COACHES AT THE 2014 WORLD CUP
# COUNTRY COACH SALARY PER YEAR
1 Russia Fabio Capello $11.4m
2 England Roy Hodgson $5.9m
3 Italy Cesare Prandelli $4.4m
4 Brazil (Q) Luiz Felipe Scolari $3.9m
5 Switzerland (Q) Ottmar Hitzfeld $3.7m
6 Germany (Q) Joachim Low $3.6m
7 Spain Vicente Del Bosque $3.3m
8 Netherlands (Q) Louis Van Gaal $2.73m
9 Japan Alberto Zaccheroni $2.72m
10 USA (Q) Juergen Klinsmann $2.6m
11 France (Q) Didier Deschamps $2.16m
12 Portugal Paulo Bento $2.16m
13 Iran Carlos Quieroz $2.09m
14 Chile (Q) Jorge Sampaoli $1.7m
15 Colombia (Q) Jose Pekerman $1.6m
16 Australia Ange Postecoglou $1.29m
17 Uruguay (Q) Oscar Tabarez $1.25m
18 Ivory Coast Sabri Lamouchi $1.03m
19 Algeria (Q) Vahid Halihodzic $1m
20 Belgium (Q) Marc Wilmots $864K
21 Greece (Q) Fernando Santos $864K
22 Argentina (Q) Alejandro Sabella $818K
23 South Korea Hong Myung-Bo $795K
24 Honduras Luis Fernando Suarez $629K
25 Ecuador Renaldo Rueda $566K
26 Costa Rica (Q) Jorge Luis Pinto $440K
27 Cameroon Volker Finke $394K
28 Nigeria (Q) Stephen Keshi $392K
29 Bosnia & Herzegovina Safet Susic $352K
30 Croatia Niko Kovac $271K
31 Ghana James Kwesi Appiah $251K
32 Mexico (Q) Miguel Herrera $209K

It is Pope Francis vs Emeritus Pope Benedict final.

SOME social critics believe that our social values are part of what is disturbing our society. It means that if we feel disenchanted with the economy and political plundering, we should as much be upset with the current social ills and culture. Reshaping these values may well be the hole we need to block in order to get out of the whole quandary which has wrapped us for years. Images of extravagant marriages and wedding ceremonies are common and they remind us of several of the areas our society is being screwed.

Admittedly, marriage is considered as an exceptionally significant institution which dates back centuries ago. Nevertheless, the origin of wedding is not very clear and seemingly, there was no law governing it until societies began to incorporate it in their culture.

Evidently, what was dominant during the regime of our forefathers is the traditional engagement where the prospective groom and his relations would go to their bride’s home to pay her parents some money, commonly known as the bride price. The payment is to convince the bride’s parents that the groom is capable of taking care of their daughter. And once that was done, a day would be secured for escorting the bride to the bridegroom’s house. Surely, there were associated engagement events but not on the scale we see today. Currently, the extent of wedding events is truly undefined and wide; usually dependent on cash, influence and families.

There is no gainsaying that wedding ceremonies as they now happen are one of the eggs laid and hatched by the whitemen during the colonial era. Today, one sees a different pattern which neither agrees with our culture nor the pace and content of our development.

No doubt, the hope of every man and woman is to one day come to terms with that originally ordained institution by God, nuptial. However, as young teenagers progress in life, the desire grows deeper. Once a young man has completed his university education and gains employment, the next thing is the cultural pressure to be joined to someone. So as soon as he sees a lady who can possibly pair with him for life, the contemplation and plan for the wedding begins.

By and large, every girl’s profound dream is about being a queen on her wedding day. Agreed that wedding is supposed to be an intriguing affair but should millions of naira be squandered to thrill people some of whom would come bearing expression of deprivation and grief. In many homes where much has been expended for the occasion are relatives, who despite their struggle, have not been able to cross the line of destitution.

Most commonly cited reasons for excessive weddings range from the event being one-time in life and the need to make it memorable to the fact that it is the only way would-be couples could make each other glad. Unfortunately, while many dispose part of their belongings to foot the bills or defray already borrowed money, others go entreating their close relations and friends to lend them helping hands in order to bring their desire to past. The only objective being that they would want their wedding to be the talk of the town.

Invariably, breakdown of expenditure for weddings varies but ranges from dowry, drinks, food, dresses, decoration to rings, jewelry, halls, mobility, cake and bands. Average wedding in Nigeria could cost as much as N500, 000.

Abroad, it could be up to $25,000 (N4.2 million). A wedding which took place in Australia in June 2006 (Nicle Kidman and Keith Urban) cost up to $250,000 (N42 million). The couples’ guests got take-away clocks which cost about $350 (N60,000) each. The popular footballer, David Beckham and Victoria Adams spent about $800,000 (N144 million) for their wedding and rings alone cost $200,000 (N36 million) circa. It is undreamed-of that even Elton John and David Furnish, the popular gay partners who got wedded in 2005, the first week that same-sex civil union was legalised in Britain, spent about $1.5 million (N270 million) for that provocative bash.

It is understandable when these things happen overseas but not in a land where every family is like a local government council, providing for itself accommodation, light, water, drainages, roads etc. An average person’s need for money in developed countries is less as most of the facilities for life comfort are provided by the government at affordable rates. Therefore, they can afford to spend huge sums of money on weddings and holidays.

Areas would-be couples spend most vary. To some, it is wedding gown and coat and to others it is refreshment and cake. Elsewhere, it could be security and bands. Many would want to see their wedding being fit for the sons and daughters of Kings and Queens or even a Presidential royalty. Some want their guests to be in hundreds and others a thousand plus.

While some bridegrooms favour suit directly imported from Paris or America and pairs of shoes from Italy, some brides would want to appear in a flapper-inspire full length white gown, whether or not they understand the essence of the colour, adorned with intricate beads and silver or golden encrusted flower patterned headband attached to the veil.

The real exhibition usually begins from the procession at the church entrance. Some of the wedding gowns are more than 10 feet from the foot, and the best lady must maintain the expected distance. Such brides’ steps are calculated and sluggish to ensure everyone takes cognizance of the perceived gorgeous off-the shoulder gown and possibly Jamaican hairdo. Some would-be couples would ensure that the band at the reception is top rate, with a household name. The cake is usually distinguishable by the colour, steps, decoration and height. The chefs must not be the ones patronised by every Tom, Dick and Harry.

Often, it is the prospective bride, with little or no interference from her parents, who drags the would-be bridegroom into such infinite and insane outlay. Be that as it may, the next couples should pick up a big lesson from the wedding of Liza Minnelli and David Gest which took place a few years back and is believed to be the most luxurious then and perhaps till date. At that wedding, 850 guests attended while the popular late musician, Stephen Wonder featured as one of the entertainers. Some 500 staff workers were temporarily employed to bring the event to life. Total spending hit $3.5 million (N980 million). And guess what, only a year after, the couple parted. What an indignity and waste? In Nigeria too, divorce rate within the first five years of marriage is claimed to be up to 50 per cent, so why all the hullabaloo?

Notably, the essence of marriage is to live together and procreate in fulfillment of God’s declaration. Prospective couples should focus on life after the wedding and know that the days ahead could mean nothing but thoughtful mystifying encounters and the realities of life instability.

Critics need to be convinced why Nigerians should not restrict themselves to the old traditional style of marriage whereby the bridegroom would pay the dowry and without elaborate ceremonies take his bride away. It is important that people should appear at our weddings but a few numbers to witness them should suffice. I have observed weddings overseas where there were no more than 10 in all, inclusive of relations and friends. Priorities are vital. Guests should be few and the things would-be couples already have should be used. Let us remember that there is countless number of people out there who require help and we cannot continue to lavish money in the name of weddings.

•Written by Henry C. Edebeatu
Henry C Edebeatu is a senior consultant, HnH Consulting, Lagos (Tender Management Group).