₦airaland Forum

Bukola is a genius, This is the truth and nothing but the truth

THE LOOTITUDES
By Echezona Asuzu in PUBLISH YOUR MANIFESTOES CAMPAIGN (ACE-NIGERIA) · Edit Doc
Please let us join Bukola Ogunyemi in the prayer of LOOTITUDES sorry BEATITUDES, taken from the Book of Naijaloot Chapter 5: Verses 1- 25

(1) And seeing the multitudes, corruption went up into Aso Rock; and when he was set, the politicians came unto him;

(2) And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying:

(3) Blessed are the clueless in wisdom; for theirs is the Presidency of the nation.

(4) Blessed are they that rig elections, for they shall be elected.

(5) Blessed are the thieves; for they shall inherit the National Assembly.

(6) Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after public funds; for their accounts shall be filled.

(7) Blessed are the bribe-takers, for they shall obtain big bribes.

( Blessed are the Petroleum Ministers, for they shall loot trillions.

(9) Blessed are the bootlickers, for they shall be called the Federal Executhief Council.

(10) Blessed are they which are prosecuted for corruption’s sake; for theirs is the kingdom of wealth.

(11) Blessed are ye, when EFCC shall invite you, and interrogate you, and bring all manner of charges against you, for my sake.

(12) Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad; for fat are your accounts in Swiss banks; for so they prosecuted the politicians which were before you.

(13) Ye are the thieves of the nation; but if the thief have lost his craftiness, wherewith shall he be looting? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be charged to court, and be sentenced to prison.

(14) Ye are the liars of the nation, a lie that is carefully thought-out cannot be found out.

(15) Neither do politicians cook a big lie, and serve it to Sahara Reporters, but to NTA; and it gives false hope unto all that watch the 9pm news.

(16) Let your gowns so flow before men, that they may see your big loots, and glorify your father which is in Ota.

(17) Think not that I am come to arrest the fuel marketers

(18) For verily I say unto you, till heaven and earth pass, one naira or one kobo shall not be left in the Federation Account, but all be looted away.

(19) Whosever shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the Asiwaju in the kingdom of corruption; but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called BOT Chairman in the kingdom of corruption.

(20) For I say unto you, except your corruption shall exceed the corruption of policemen and lawmakers, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of immunity.

(21) Ye have heard that it was said by them of the old time, Thou shall not loot; and whosoever shall loot shall be in danger of the judgment:

(22) But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his party without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say, stop looting, shall be in danger of penury, the elder brother of poverty.

(23) Therefore if thou bring thy loot to the UK, and there rememberest that the EFCC has case against thee

(24) Leave thy loot in a UK bank and go to Dubai; first be reconciled to the EFCC Chairman and come and enjoy thy loot.

(25) Bribe thy prosecutors quickly while thou art in the way with him; lest at any time he deliver thee to the judge, and the judge sentence thee, and thou be cast into prison.

(26) Verily I say unto you, thou shall by no means come out thence, till thou hast entered a plea bargain.

A Bukola Ogunyemi’s Work

rokiatu: LMAO I dress for my self. To look and feel good for myself.

and you tells you how good you look? definitely you enjoys male compliment more than your female friends.

mamalola19: this is very realistic.
before a man can know the character
he must first be attracted to the appearance
how do you know a womans character by meeting her in the bus and she is quiet
is it that she is washing plates in there? no!
her neatness and modesty may attract you first
it is stage by stage
after you attract then you apply character
op a man wont marry based on looks but character
but its the looks that will first get d attention
but to talk true, all join, no body wants to marry a shabby man or woman

This is talking from Experience, young ladies, consult your older generals, they'll teach you the act of war.

Now the Last Part of THE POWERS OF YOUR BODY BEAUTIFUL.
Ladies need to remind themselves and also agree that that a woman's principal occupation is winning and holding at least one man that she can call hers, and that one of the primary asset for this venture is her look. She must also realize that man's condescending attitude to her obsession with her looks is a sign of men's foolishness. Do we look down on a hunter who spends time in oiling and cleaning his gun or fisherman who lavishes care on his fishing traps?
The men seems to under-look and underrate the time women spend on their body and that is why women (wise ones) cash on on these method and take men unaware by flaunting their beauties.
This issue was so serious that an Act of British Parliarment of 1770 said:
All women of whatever age, rank, profession or degree who shall after this ACt, impose upon, seduce , and betray into marriage any of His Majesty's subject by virture of scents (Today: Cologne), paints, cosmetics washes, artificial teeth or false hair (Today: Brazilian Hair), iron stays, bolstered hips, or high-heeled shoes, shall incur the penalty of the law now in force against witchcraft and like misdemeanours; and marriage under such circumstance, upon conviction of the offending parties, shall be null and void.

So was the effect of a woman's beauty on men that the above law was passed.
In Summary, a smart chick should:
1. Dress attractively and sensibly to attract a man she wants (No man will just start running after you unless he saw something attractive in you)
2. Always make up each time you're going out, even if is within you street.
3. Check out the latest, fashion trend that will not portray you as a prostitute.

The Female Beautiful body excercises over men the mighty power of erotic incitement. THIS IS THE TRUTH MOST MEN WILL DENY TILL THEY DIE.

End of Discussion

Next: Understanding What love means to Male and Female:

Excerpt: Love makes me lame and tame -

Love is not blind. It has four eyes; it has night vision; it sees well by day and night

Thanks everybody, for your comments and criticism, Just be free to say you mind.

@ rakumiii:

rakumiii: ;DHehehehehehehehehehe.......... ;DHehehehehehehehehehe..........

This is not a laughing matter, smart ladies have applied these tactics and got what they wanted

@rokiatu:

rokiatu: Topic should be changed to how to get laid.

This is a Tips and tricks series, we don't need to take the trouble of changing the topic to how to get laid. As we all know; It is the ladies that hunt men not the other way round, else, why do you rokiatu, expose your cleavages and thighs in the name of fashion if not that you're a hunter looking for a man prey?

@missagbaa:

missagbaa: This Ȋ̝̊̅ڪ wat we calll mmsscchheewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!! Ima oshu i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ igbo language

Speak English Language: or go and read queens Primer: Book 1, it will help your English.

@kiilz:

~Killz~:
[color=#000030]So you mean any beautiful lady is wife material? Slap yourself![/color]

I did not imply that any beautiful woman is a wife material, but her beauty need to attract you first to discover if she is or not. Unless u got your wife/chick through a blind date.

Wow! 40 views and all the viewers pretends as if the topic is of no interest to them. Ok, maybe I've not said anything yet, but this is the first intro.
THE POWERS OF YOUR BODY BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing disorganizes the male mind more quickly than the sight of a female body. The female body was purposely structured this way by nature in order to perform this onerous task. Stop to ask yourself, why do you think men stare at you anywhere you go? A woman who wants to get a man should not joke with her appearance at all. Forget the popular belief that a woman's character is what attracts a man , pure fallacy, there could be nothing farther from the truth. The first thing is that you need to be attracted to the man first, that's why everyman stares, single men, married men, men of God and religious leaders, none will not turn their head on sighting a beautiful woman.
So as lady, you should always arm yourself with your glamour accessories(handbag with paint brushes, perfume, powders, decorating pencils etc),the objective is to artificially beautify the body to seduce the feeble mindedness of men out of their senses, the love can come later. So for those of you over righteous sisters who put on drab attires, be informed that no matter how good you are inside, you need to attract the man first,if you don't how is he ever going to find out those hidden qualities.
... to be contd.
I don't want to bore us with lengthy reading, I will get back for comments and criticisms.

Often times, I see ladies of marriageable age complaining of not having a fiance or not having any man interested in them. It is also a known fact that some ladies have tried all their best to settle down with a prospective husband all to no avail. But the truth remains that getting a man to marry you is a project entirely, and the tips and tricks are what am going to share with the ladies right here bits by bits. It's a not a magic formular, love portion, witch craft or fire brand prayer approach, it's simply using law of nature.
It's employing the power of the female folks on men that some people don't think exists.
I will be right back.

Are u the Chief Priest?

The 2012 Nigeria budget as signed by President Goodluck Jonathan on 13th April 2012 is now available on the website of Policy and Legal Advocacy Centre (PLAC) (www.placng.org)
The budget projects an expenditure of N4.877 trillion.
The budget indicates a capital expenditure of only 28%, with recurrent expenditure gulping a whopping 72%.
Already government ministries and departments including the National Assembly and the Judiciary are expressing worry that they have not been able to have the Central Bank of Nigeria honour authority warrants to withdraw money issued by the Finance Ministry, owing to non-availability of Cash.
The CBN Governor has also expressed worry that the scandalous petrol subsidy regime continues to pose a major threat to the economy in 2012.
Recent reports indicate that the draw down on the N888 billion subsidy for 2012 is already in about of 30% of the year’s total allocation, just three months into 2012.
Nigerians are worried that this government’s track record of financial prudence and fiscal discipline is abysmally low.
To access the full details of the 2012 Nigeria Budget Click here.
http://placng.org/home/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=115:2012-nigeria-budget-available-on-placs-website&catid=37:feature-storied

Please can u send me a quote for a fairly used fuel dispenser pump I can use to sell Kerosine. You can send the details to jamesod@gmail.com. Thanks

March 15, 2008: Beechcraft 1900D plane marked 5N-JAH, belonging to Wing Aviation crashed in the mountainous forest of Busi in Cross River State on its way to Obudu airstrip. The wreakage was not found until 6 months after the disappearance of the aircraft. All 4 man crew on board died.
- March 14, 2012: A Helicopter belonging to the Joint Task Force (JTF) crashes in Kabong, Jos, killing all members onboard including 4 senior Police officers.

After 2 year break in aircraft crashing a return? God deliver us oh!

Well let's see what the final product will look like, because as it is, i can't do what I use to do in the old Nairaland. I agree the interface should change!

SA apologized! That's the power of protest, MTN knew they are on their way out of this country, if they don't call their government to order.

For all patriot that responded to these noble call, may your name be written in gold in the foot print of time!

In order of Names, Estimated Net Worth (Billions), Industry/Income Source and Country of Citizenship.


1. Carlos Slim Helu & family ----- $69 ----- Telecoms ------ Mexico

2. Bill Gates -----  $61 ----- Microsoft ----- United States

3. Warren Buffett ----- $44 ----- Berkshire Hathaway ----- United States

4.  Bernard Arnault ----- $41 ----- LVMH -----  France

5. Amancio Ortega ----- $37.5 ----- Zara ----- Spain

6. Larry Ellison ----- $36 -----  Oracle -----  United States

9. Li Ka-shing ----- $25.5 B ----- Hong Kong

11. Christy Walton & family  -----   $25.3  ----- Walmart ----- United States

12. Charles Koch  -----  $25  -----  United States

12. David Koch  -----  $25  -----  United States

16. Jim Walton -----  $23.7 -----  United States

19. Mukesh Ambani  -----  $22.3  ----- Oil & Gas ----- India

20. Michael Bloomberg  -----  $22  ----- Bloomberg  ----- United States

21. Lakshmi Mittal -----  $20.7 -----  Steel -----  India

21. Alisher Usmanov  -----  $18.1 -----  Steel, Telecom, Stocks  -----  Russia

24. Sergey Brin  -----  $18.7  -----  Google  -----  United States

24. Larry Page  -----  $18.7  -----  Google  ----- United States

26. Jeff Bezos  -----  $18.4  -----  Amazon  ----- United States

27. Kwok Thomas & Raymond & family -----   $18.3  ----- Real Estate -----  Hong Kong

29. Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud  -----  $18  ----- Investments  ----- KSA

34. Michael Otto & family  -----  $17.6  -----  Retail  ----- Germany

35. Mark Zuckerberg  -----  $17.5  -----  Facebook  -----  United States

41. Michael Dell  -----   $15.9  -----  Dell  -----  United States

47. Phil Knight  -----  $14.4  -----  Nike  -----  United States

48. Paul Allen  -----  $14.2  -----  Microsoft  -----  Investments  -----  United States

50. Birgit Rausing & family  -----  $14  -----  Packaging  -----  Sweden

58. Mikhail Prokhorov  -----  $13.2  -----  Investments  -----  Russia

59. Susanne Klatten  -----  $13  -----  BMW, Pharmaceuticals  -----  Germany

68. Roman Abramovich  -----  $12.1 Steel, Investments  ----- Russia

76. Aliko Dangote  -----  $11.2  ----- Manufacturing, Investments  ----- Nigeria

84. Jack Taylor & family  ----- $10.4  ----- Enterprise Rent-A-Car  ----- United States

100. Laurene Powell Jobs & family  ----- $9  ----- Inheritance  ----- United States

106. Rupert Murdoch ----- $8.3 ----- News Corp ----- United States

122. Ralph Lauren ----- $7.5 ----- Ralph Lauren ----- United States

127. Giorgio Armani ----- $7.2 -----  Giorgio Armani, Fashion ----- Italy

139. Nicky Oppenheimer & family ------ $6.8 ------ Diamonds ------ South Africa

141. Pierre Omidyar ------ $6.7 B ------ Ebay ------ United States

161. He Xiangjian ----- $6.2 ----- Appliances ----- China

248. Yoshikazu Tanaka ------ $4.3 ----- Social networking ----- Japan

248. Mike Adenuga ------ $4.3 ------ Telcom, Banking, Oil ------ Nigeria

314. Dustin Moskovitz ------ $3.5 ------ Facebook ------ United States

358. Stanley Kroenke ------ $3.2 ------ Sports, Real estate ------ United States

358. George Lucas ------ $3.2 ------ Star Wars ------ United States

377. Steven Spielberg ------ $3 ------ Movies ------ United States

301. Donald Trump ------ $2.9 ------ Television, Real estate ------ United States

442. Oprah Winfrey ------ $2.7 ------  Television ------ United States

491. Michael Ashley ------ $2.5 ------ Sports Retailing ------ United Kingdom

491. Hiroshi Yamauchi ------ $2.5 ------ Nintendo     ------ Japan

1153. Joaquin Guzman Loera ------ $1 ------ Drug Trafficking ------ Mexico.



with support from Forbes.com. Read a detailed analysis here

About 18 million responded today! the protest is working perfectly

pu-s-sy- Womanliness

~Killz~:
[color=#000030]Shake My Head = Smh! [/color]

Do you have epilepsy?

ayusman16:
Do you have a special beef for MTN or for S.A government for deporting your thieving Senator?

Do you know how many Nigerians have stake in MTN?

You may need to stop deceiving yourself that 10million people switched off their phones in accordance to your directive. And better transfer your aggression to your government for not complying to simple directive and stop attacking investors who have done more meaningful development than your corrupt government.

I know you did not participate in Occupy Nigeria Protest, you always want it cool and easy, life is not like that brother!

Nairaland is no doubt Nigeria's largest online discussion forum that receives millions of visitors daily.
For quite some time now, Nairaland sensors all the post on the website, especially in Romance and Sexuality forum. While some is justified, some are on called for, these always result to translating a well writing stories to something else.
I am going to list some that I can remember, feel free to drop the ones you know!

Here we go:

B-rea-st- Unmentionable

[b]A-s-s- [/b]backside

[b]D-ic-k- [/b]Manliness
to be continued!

scopusng:
This guy should be arrested by the Nigeria police for sticking his head out of the window.

He's lucky area boys are no longer in Lag, they should have removed his cap and wrist watch.

Na Ajegunle BMW dem take carry am sef ! Mcheeeeeeeeeeeew. Bobby Brown Ko! Baby Black Ni!

Bawss1:
Are you sure it is not the normal 10 million people who NEPA didn't supply electricity to so they couldn't charge their phones.

If you can write 10 million in figure, I will reply you! meanwhile, keep your phone on and keep recharging while MTN repays you with bad services and extorts you to poverty!

The switch off protest was very successful yesterday! about 10 million subscribers complied!


This is day 2, please just switch off your phone for 1 minute by 12 noon.


The call is not to support Nigeria government, it's about fighting for our brothers, remember, it can happen to any of us.

Don't listen to all these goons who knows nothing about economic politics, after all MTN gives you the worst service and rakes in billions of Naira! Nothing free from them except THANK YOU NIGERIA! we should show them we are not that foolish! SWITCH OFF YOUR PHONE FOR ONE MINUTE BY 12 NOON TODAY!

Babamide:
Wetin concern us with protest. We no dey run comot for naija, plus mtn employs a good number of nigerians to run their operation.

People like you have never travel out of their compound, that's why you don't know international politics

is people like you who take all sort of rubbish from people, simply because of your low self esteem!

Bawss1:
WTH? My phone stays on.

My phone stays off! what an unpatriotic statement?

Due to inhuman treatment meted to Nigerians by South African Authorities, not minding that Nigeria and Nigerians made DSTV and MTN richer beyond their dreams, All MTN subscribers all over the country will switch off their phone just for one minute everyday  by 12:00 noon for 7 days. One minute switch off protest will make MTN lose N500 million naira. Let's show them  the power of population. The power of Naija!
Take this as your token contribution to redeem Nigeria's image world wide.

SWITCH OFF MTN LINE PROTEST BY 12:00 NOON FOR 7 DAYS, starting from today! 7/3/2012

We should retaliate in whatever way to prove a point that our sovereignty can no longer be taken for granted.

Ask them meaningful questions.
• What is the best gift they've ever gotten? Gold diggers will almost always cite an expensive, material object, not a uniquely personal and thoughtful gift.
• What's the biggest thing you ever had to give up to do or get something you really wanted? What you're searching for here is evidence of delayed gratification - the ability to give up something now so that you can achieve something greater, later. Gold diggers are notoriously spoiled or sheltered, and have never had to really wait, work, or struggle for what they want because somehow, someone was always there to help.

Back to me research, enjoy


Look for a sense of entitlement. Gold diggers feel that they deserve to be treated well, and that includes knowing that someone is willing to spend money on them. Maybe it's because they had a bad childhood or relationship, and they feel they deserve to be happy (and it just so happens that their joy carries a high price tag). Or maybe they feel it's their right to be able to pursue their big dreams at the expense of financial stability, and, coincidentally, haven't considered who will foot the bill of their soul-searching. Have you noticed unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment? This sense of entitlement is one of the symptoms of narcissistic behavior, which has other symptoms that a potential gold digger might harbor:[1]
• grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
• preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
• believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
• requires excessive admiration
• lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
• often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

freecocoa:
Op do you still have any drugs left?I need some please.

tell us the truth, the name is freecocaine not freecocoa, so I should be asking you of more drugs

M M M:
op      if u have 2much money then u will know dat GOLD DIGGER dont exist

So gold diggers are experts in digging up the whole mine, don't think is those cheap babes u buy cheap designer cloths for from a cheap boutique that are gold diggers