₦airaland Forum

Which one do you prefer?

A law that is strictly in support of Monogamy (and allows you to keep mistresses knowingly or unknowingly to your spouse)

OR

Marry as many as you want and keep them under the same roof

koolchicco:
Until women understand that SEX and Love are 2 separate and different things to a man. Una go keep asking this question till eternity. You can love a woman and still find a booty outside and fck it,  doesnt mean you don't love the woman!


Lawd see post ooo!

And that makes it right or justifies the love yet?

No, it doesn't mean it is right or justified, it means that is the reality! That is the explanation for the damn thing. Sex is mostly physical to a man, maybe it is emotional to a lot of women, so the perspectives and the way we see it is different!

Until women understand that SEX and Love are 2 separate and different things to a man. Una go keep asking this question till eternity. You can love a woman and still find a booty outside and fck it, doesnt mean you don't love the woman!

I am thinking about relocating to FL later in the year or early this year. Anyone in Miami here? I should be coming for a conference late sept/early october and will take that time to really check out the city. I presently live in Washington DC area. Any take on relocating to the city? Any Nairaland member around there that will be available to hang out?

By the way, am I even posting in the right area?!

Effect on the stock? yep, I finally got the answer this morning going to work and listening to AM 570-Wall street Journal radio. Nigeria was specifically mentioned in the scheme of things and how some of the brokers here in the states are looking forward to helping investors buying stocks in the volatile developing economy. The main thing is they screaming is - The return is great.

The upside is that lot of money is going to be invested in the economy. Not in developmental terms but in growth. Stock is going to jump up as crazy.

The downside, those freaking investors are just financial investors and will speculate like crazy to get the stocks as high as possible. Then, the big bang will happen. They will take out their money to go invest in another sucker economy. While crashing the stock market. Another thing is, we will not be insulated from the global market downside again.

Guys not all investments are good. some are predatory!

Initially I thought it is a good idea but when I looked at all the facts I don't see it as a good idea again and the reasons being:

1. Easy convertibility though it is a good idea to some extent in macro-economics term, it allows for finacial enterprenuers to come in, invest and crash your economy at will. Those kind of situation gets the vultures of financial enterprenuers in instead of product enterprenuers that should have come into the economy when the real value and not the so called "feel" good value is used. What we need now is development in the economy, all the growth we have been getting are in macro terms not micro. This is exactly what this new step is going to continue to do. I really don't see how this will help the local economy per se. Just wait for the chinese, europeans and american financial capitalist injecting money into Nigeria economy. They will speculate on the market and crash it at their whim. Our economy is not strong enough to withstand a stock market crash for now.

2. I believe this step will not help inflation at all. It will actually worsen it. People attitude about coins wont change overnight. You don't expect Agberos to start taking coins, they will prefer 50K note ( that is 50 naira in the old currency). I will also expect the police not to take 20K, they will also prefer 50K notes for obvious reasons. That mean overnight you experiencing a 150% in those part. On the issue of food and other things, Nigerians like to round up things. I expect things food that used to cost 125 naira (now 1.25 naira) to actually move to 1.50 without battling an eyelid, just because people abhor coins.

3. I am sure today people still dont use wallet to carry naira. I remember in the 80s govt came out with a campaign on that. It didnt work. On paper, this should look good but just like any policy in Nigeria, it is the people attitude that matters.

4. Can our economy withstand the tourmoil that was seen in the european and american economy this past week? what we are doing with this policy is exposing our economy to all these forces with only $40 B dollars to handle any shock. That to me is too small to deal with the eventualities!

son:
Sounds good on paper but in reality, dodgy move.

Pardon my analogy but its the best i thought of for now.

In 2003 i got 10 rand in Jo'Burg in exchange for a Pound invariably £100 got me R1000.

In that same year £100 got me N23,000 in Lagos.

Honestly what i did with 23k in Naija was more than what R1000 made me do in Jo'Burg.

Lets not be deceived about the zeros reducing if the intrinsic value of the naira does not go up.



It may well pan out that boiz in Naija will earn nearly if not same figures as guys abroad, but trust me guys for obodo yonder no go show face for town like before, Virgin nigeria and BA go shock say boiz go bone all their offers to travel 6hrs to Lagos, lol

Infact boiz for yankee go lost pata pata, e go do us like the days of our grand uncles wey no dey go house.

PONDER ON THE ANALOGIES MADE AND You'D SEE DAT EVEN THOUGH ITS ON A LIGHT NOTE THE REALITY AINT NO JOKE, SOME SECTORS WILL SUFFER e.g MONEY TRANSFER ,


i just hope Soludo and his cohort know what they are doing.

It doesn't really change much in theory except perspection.

For example if you are earning N1M in naija before, your salary will now be N10,000 naira =$8000.

The difference before is that you have to take like that N1m to change to that $8000 but now all you do is taking your N10,000.

This is based on the fact that things are going to cost same. Money transfer is not going to suffer because if someone sends you $100 from US and you get N125 in Nigeria, theoretically you will still buy the same thing you bought yesterday with the old N12,500 with the new N125, all things being equal.

My problem with this is when inflation increase, will people increase their wares by 10 kobo which is the old 10 naira or in 50kobo which is the old 50 naira or even go ahead to increase it by 1 naira which is the old 100 naira?

I worked as Customer service rep with sprint then as a Grad student. Although I worked as a teaching Assistant at University of Maryland but there was this place not too far from my house that was paying like $9 in 2000 for a CSR and the schedule was flexible na so I did that to augument my miserly TA pay while in Grad school. I stayed there till I finsihed school and I got a fed govt contract I worked on, I still meet lotta of my CSR mates then - lotta fun time,

I remember one Akata boy calling a Nigerian man at home - The man name is IMAFUKU - The akata guy called the man - I 'Ma FUK U, I was on a call and I had to put the guy on hold and laugh my yansh out

[

frosbel:
Not true really except you believe that amassing debt is equal to true riches.

The truth is that westerners are living on borrowed time and heading towards an economic crash. Almost everything done here is on credit except you want to settle for old banger cars etc etc . But generally people buy on credit and pay installments with high interest rates .

Since when did debt becomes prosperity ? Do not be deceived, this is only a temporary farce.

And how do you justify buying a house , semi detacched worth supposedly about £110,000 due to high demand and subsequent inflation. But we know the true worth of these houses are in the 40,000 to 60,000 pound margin in terms of real value. And then you have not talked about the interest on the mortgage which will come to about 70,000 pounds, so alltogether you are paying £180,000 for a house worth only £60,000 and then the house is not even yours until you complete payment which means that you can have your house repossessed if you miss mopre than two payments and lose out on all the thousands of pounds you have paid over the years.

If you call this prosperity then I am astounded, infact this is more of a curse than a blessing.

You and me know very well that though it is supposed to work on paper like that in the west it doesnt work that way. Houses do appreciate and a lot of people dont stay in a house all their lives. if you buy a $200K house on mortgage. After 10 years you definitely sell if for that $200K unless something drastic happen to the neighbourhood. Even a lot of people get to sell their house at twice the value and can even go ahead and pay for a cheaper house then. The good thing in the west is that if you have a good head on your shoulder you can handle ur finances very well that there wont be any spirit of poverty close to you even if you are bloody atheist!

WesleyanA:
last time i checked the high rate of armed robbery wasn't caused by muslims.
the violence over the election and people calling for revolution was also not caused by muslims

I wouldn't call this backwardness, but, you should consider that majority of Muslims live in 3rd world countries and these countries also tend to be more conservative/ very religious. a significant part of their life revolves around religion, their laws revolve around religion etc
their reactions to the cartoons shouldn't be surprising taking into account the background events during the period that have been building up animosity.

heck if you made the same sort of cartoon about Jesus at the time when western society still revolved around religion, the guy would be dead in a sec.

do you have any muslim friends/ personally know any muslim?



and can you please show me the "most of the world's violence are caused by muslims" stat? i want to see where you got that stat from.
maybe i'll believe you when i see it.
some people say "most of the world's violence are caused by blacks"

i guess a black muslim is a seriously deadly combination. j/k

So muslims are now at par with armed robbers by your comparison? It is a shame of the religion that a comparison will be made to armed robber or election violence in Nigeria. I live in the west now and I have a muslim friend and he is a devote muslim. I was in the mosque for his wedding.

Using the issue of religious conservatism in the 3rd world doesn't cut it, I am sure you and know very well that christians in Nigeria are as conservative as the muslim in Nigeria. It is even bad enough that a part of the episcopal church on the US decided to be under the authority of Nigeria Anglican Archibishop. How conservative can that get? Tell me if Nigerian christian dont get provoked by the muslims? Tell me how many muslims have died in Nigeria because of assault my christain based on their religion? And also tell me why no death sentence have been placed on muslim authors fro some sacrilegous books that have been released by Muslims bashing the tenets of christainity.

WesleyanA:
don't mind them.
they most likely never had any muslim friends. all their perceptions of muslims are based on US and British media.
ignorance is a disease



anyways,
many people leave christianity too.
most of the time, imo, some muslims that leave their religion do it in order to fit in to the anti-islamist society like the US. there's a lot of hatred against them in western society from ignorant people (majority of the population. lol) and muslims don't want to be caught up in that so they do whatever to fit in ie by rejecting their religion 'cause people tease them for it.

then again, there's hatred for westerners in the middle eastern societies too.
the hate goes both ways.

to me, it depends on the individual to decide how they'll practice their religion. peacefully or not.
we know all the rappers that take pride in how many times they've been shot, who they fought, diss etc and all but they all pray regularly and claim Jesus Christ.

It is just not about Western Media alone - Look at the violence in Nigeria and see which one is caused by muslims _ I guess that is influenced by the western media too. The stats aren't wrong most of the world violence are caused by the muslims.  Guess how many people died because of a common cartoon in Denmark? I am sure christainity gets torn down by day in most islamic countries but you dont see Christains going around looking for muslims country embassy to burn or anything.

I have been seeing increasing rate of men/women in the west going home to pick spouse lately. I understand the situation when some have been dating for sometimes before they leave Nigeria and they just go back home to marry their girlfriend but for those that go home and hitch a guy/girl, I find it very absurd.

Of course, the high divorce rate of those are very high. A lot of guys for example normally get a girl they wouldnt have been able to talk to if they were in Naija. A lot of the girls only hear "america" or "UK" and dont even take time to analyze who is asking for their hands in marriage. A lot of guys too would jump at the opportunity to marry a girl that will bring them to america and even when they have a lifelong girlfriend there in Nigeria - The idea of american dream is just too much to "fashi". Your friend and family would even call u carzy if u miss that opportunity.

One thing I am bringing out is that most of the marriages or hookups are not based on Love. Some never even developed to be a good relationship before jumping into marriage. The excuses a lot normally gives is " we talk all the time on the phone" duh! talking on the phone is different from seeing each other and knowing what the other like and doesnt like. Some never even got to access their spouse in close quarters since the few days they see whenever the other is in vacation in Nigeria, is like honeymoon.

I really don't have problem with long distance relationship but in a case when it is down to economics than love, hey maybe that is why the rate of divorce among africans here is increasing. Some of the guys gets here and realize, damn! there are lotta fine girls here and cant deal with that and eventually abandon their wife. Some girls too after being in america for like a year and get used to the environment will now realize they never really like the guy they married in real sense. The whole american veil over their eyes is gone by that time and they tend to see things the way they are supposed to see it without the whole hype of coming abroad.


Guys why do you think guys go home to marry?

so many african marraige are breaking down abroad because a lot of Nigerian men wont leave their traditional way and get with the system. Number one, the system favors women more than men generally and some men don't know how to deal with that. Some still see marriage the way their father saw it years ago in Nigeria. guys! the rule has changed.

The rule states you have to help your way in some ways not just sitting your fat ass watching TV while you expect your wife to labor away in the kitchen.

The worst part of this is guys that go to Nigeria to bring a wife to the west thinking they can still control them when they bring them here. It just doesnt happen again. There is a guy that I know that anytime he and his wife has a problem, he would threaten the wife that he would chase her outta of the house. Of course it didnt take time for the wife to know he couldnt do that and one heated situation one day the wife called 911 and he was bounced off the house. You have to be really close to the family to know what kind of verbal/emotional abuse the woman has been going through. Ordinarily people would say, "he brought her to the US, see how she treats him now". Not know the woman had no other choice but to do that.

I know someone that insisted his wife has to cook for him in the morning when the wife resumes work at like 6am and she had to leave home at around 5:15am to get to work. How unrealistic can that get. For her to get out of the house by she had to wake up like around 4am to get the kids ready while the father is sleeping away. What stops the hubby from preparing himself breakfast? for someone to wake up at around 4am, what time do u expect her to sleep to have enough rest? Of course, they started having trouble and the wife had to call police one day when it became too much for her - The people in Nigeria didnt understand too - Dont know how things work here.

Nigerian girls in US lonely? I really dont think so. I wont use the world lonely and again it depends on how they are raised. Some of the gilrs that were born and raised here dont have problem dealing with other groups ad races in america now it is different for the ones that came here in their late teens or early twenties or later to deal with non-nigerians - those are the one that you can call lonely. They are very clanish and I wont blame them - they are used to nigerian male and dont want to go out there.

The low birth rate of people in the advanced economy is causing a "greying" nations. The baby boomers are so called because there was an explosion of population after the sceond world war that has not been sustained since then. In some countries, even the populations have been shrinking - the only exception is the US and that is becaause of immigration and a health birth rate.

bfree:
,
If it is in Nigeria, you can't compare 2:2 from an average Uni in UK to the 2:1 form the best in Naija. The employers know this thats why they will prefer to take on 2:2 for US/Europe compared to the Nigerian contemporaries
,

My guy is there 2.2 in uk and us 3.5 or above why do you deceive yourself those that schooled abroad are only exposed to more studying materials thats all

An average nija boy with 2.2 or 3rd class gets to US or UK will surely dust any of their contemporaries. if they are serious to their studies.

You cant compare Nigerian university to what obtains abroad and I think that is the reason a lot of people will take a degree from abroad to Nigeria's. One, US dont use the first class/second class stuff, if you are over 3.5/4 you are regraded as graduated Cum laude. Two, people her are more interested in what you actually know and not what your degree say per se.

In Nigeria, we just get to learn the theory with no practical application and even worse no apllication based on our environmental situation. In the Us and in the west generally, you can have a degree in IT and walk out and fit into directly into the marketplace. I remmeber being taught Fortran 77 in Ife in 95 I dont know what I would do with Fortran coming out of college. Most MBA student scenarios are real life scenarios that apply to corporation directly and most of the guys that are teaching you have real life situation. that is why you will see a government official that have a meritous service sometimes going back to teach in College.

Emphasis is more on overall development here and not just passing exam. I schooled in both systems and I prefer the system here - even though I wasnt a slouch when I schooled in Nigeria

This is so funny it is untrue. By the way I came out with a 2.1 Electrical Engineering from OAU, Ife. A lot of the jobs in Nigeria especially the bank jobs are done by guys that are HIGH SCHOOL GRAD in the places like US. Even some of the IT jobs are done by guys who hardly pass their GED (equiv of WAEC) but pick up some of the skill set over time. At least some of the guys finish colleges in naija, a lot of the Nigerian jobs are not even meant for a 2.1 or a first class.

I have a double masters (MS and MBA) and I work under a director here that all she had a was a Bachelor in Business Admin and she is the head of a IT division in a corporation that generates over $3billion dollars annually. make u sit down dia and dey talk of grade - By the way having a first class doesnt make youa  better corporate worker - you might be better as a researcher and dont fit into the corporate world

why do you have to marry a girl because she is pregnant for you. Yes I have female friends that I dont sleep with and it never crossed my mind to sleep with them. They are just good friends and nothing more - I wont hang around a girl I will gbenshi.

Too bad you are in this predicament - next time put a sock on it!

Johnny:
We were friends in our school days but lost contact since 2002. We met by chance just last two weeks when she was nursing a sick husband. I was always there at the hospital to give any assistance I could as an old friend. I was so happy to see her after a very long time and also happy to be of assistance to her at that time of her need, which she really appreciated. Unfortunately, the man died a day after I left them in the hospital to take a break at home.
Now the madness is this; Do you believe that two days after my friend's husband died, she started making serious advances at me? That am the only God - sent person she has now as she doesn't want to remain a widow forever? She has been requesting for 'lovely text messages' from me, which I have been trying to compose even though I don't know how to compose such messages other than telling her to 'take heart'. You can't believe the number of times she has called and sent me messages since the death of her husband who is still lying in the mogue. For God's sake, how do I handle this critical situation? The lady is up to something else.

Read some of her messages;
(a) I think am already in love, but I dnt know if u really love me d way I do. How I wish u enter my mind and see how I feel towards u. You know what? You re God's sent.'
(b) I have always luved u right from school but I have been reserving my comment, but I think its high time I express myself. Please, dnt leave me, u re d closest friend I have.'

We have only met some two weeks back after 5-6 years of lost contact o o. Please, somebody help me.
NB; I never dated this lady for once.

I guess she is seeing things she never saw in you before and I believe she must have lost a lot of friends during her trivail. She is only responding to the natural urges. It is just unortunate she is doing it just after her husband died. Based on the culture I believe a lot of people will frown at it. It might not be a prudent thing to do but it you cant say it is not right. On the legal basis, her marriage to her husband is broken and the contract between them is ended and she can actually go ahead and restart her life with another person again.

My advise is to make her understand what your position is. I really dont think she is evil as you might want to think just not using a lot of discretion. Sit her downa nd make her understand the implications of her actions, if her inlaw hear about it there is now an they wouldnt say she killed her husband - na naija now! Make her understand you dont feel comfortable with the whole thing - especially at this time and you appreciate your friendship with her now and dont wand dont want to make thinsg complicated. I think she needs you during her greatest trial - be there until you know it is not an ideal thing to do - all the best man!

chidichris:
the author of this thread shld have started it by diffining the term 419.
types, causes, its implication on the economy of nigeria and her neighbours.
who do we address as 419 people here?
if your father was once a governor and have accumulated all the funds in the state for you and your next generation, then u will not be a 419 and your father will not be one, abi?
then u will look for ways to correct nigeria's image abroad while others are dying of hunger right there in front of your house.
419 started from aso rock and any solution will surely come from there.
a man came into power 20 thousand naira and left with trilions. who is he 519 or 611?
na waa.
atiku has all the oil wells in nigeria and obj bought all the national companies and alamasiya has 100 foriegn accounts, so who are they? or must they go to the cyber cafe to be a 419?
my dear face the reallities on ground. even if yu make it a death sentence, it will not stop it afterall, balogun stole more than uncountable naires and how many days in prison did he stay or is it 319?

If we are using your reasoning then there is no reason to stop murders in aplace like US since the US army does it well to iraqis and afghanis. No need to give speeding ticket to a driver because everybody does speed on the freeway anyways and Bush, the US congress are damn corrupt so why prosecuting ordinary people for corruption and fraud.

In as much as am not in support of those poli-thievians and their supporters, it is definitely out of place to come from the line of thinking that until the big fishes are stopped, then there is no reason to stop the small fishes.

The Ponzi scheme and the phishing are example of big time fraud in the united states, I wonder why FBI go after those when those corrupt US politician already bought by the big companies are left going around. Man! please use ur thinking cap sometimes

lobinoxebe:
i think we gat hungry people on this forum,

why y'all talking like u're living below 1 dollar, although am a born nigerian with much respect to my motherland and i know how things is going on right now,

the issue of $600 confuse lots of people, let me tell you it's not up to 80,000 naira compare to NOKIA E SERIES.WHICH IS SOLD FOR 105,000 NAIRA,

so guys, let no dollar decieve us, $,

I guess some people's priority are different and not based on hunger. Some people just believe it has something to do with your status. Look I use HP iPAQ6515. It was supposed to be one of the best products around when it came out. I have been using the product for over 1 year now. It came out at $599 though I got it much less than that. It is the crapiest phone I ever used. It crashed like no man business. Cingular has replaced that phone 6 times within 1.5 years. It does basically what iPhone. I got tired of it and I use a blackberry now. Like I said, the whole thing about iPhone is the way it is being market and the media behind it. Wait till the technology matures - The truth is I listen to Wall street Journal radio every morning and the already written it off based on the review - they gave it a pass for all its other functions except its supposedly primary functionality which is as a phone. I heard this same review on NPR

aik.mamah:
those whey them don cause for village na them dey run go hide under the shelter of civilization
civilization my feet
if u know u don pass that kain age limit go home go know wetindey do u or better still see your pastor, its is not right for a man to be alone so the mighty book talk am

You know we are not talking about Nigerian women in Nigeria here? some will marry any man just to show they are married and suffere the consequcne the rest of their lives - some cant even divorce if they choose to!

MILITIA:
First of all, instead of buying gold and lace materials--financial planning involves saving money for at least 5 years equal to your monthly household bills so you will not have heart failure whtn you have an emergency situation! But trust Nigerians---we like to live from hand to mouth without planning for emergencies! I do not do that kind of rubbish! I hate stress!

We have solid financial planning in our home! This was necessary when we started having kids! We started saving and got heavily involved in the stock market! If I ever found myself in the situation you described! No problem---we all move to DC! We sell our house and all move to DC! I will work 2 jobs if I have to till my husband can gets a job! I have done it before! When my husband had to go back to school I had to get 2 jobs so he helped me with the kids and study for his exams! It is called financial planning ok!

Nigerians do not plan so they are always "fu*ked Up" easily financially! I learned very well from my oyibo co workers! White people will save 10 years worth of monthly income and will act like they are broke! Naija's will have $1000 and spend to the last cent on nonsense! No savings!

You definitely right about that but I know people that during the dot.com boom all their stock disappeared. I will give you an example - I worked with some United Airlines pilots on a homeland security project in 2002 doing some training ( I work on the IT side of the project) - The youngest of these guys was 55y/o. Some of them were laid down after the 9/11 unfortunate incidents and one told me he lost close to 1 millions dollars worth of stuck during the stock crash that followed the dot.com doom. Of course he had a lot of his stock in the blue chips and some in United Airlines stock. he worked in the home depot for sometimes before the project that we worked for  for six months came by. This guy lives in some obscure town in CT and left his family to take up a job in LA. One of them was also a female pilot with a  big ranch in Spoken washington with 2 kids. She was like 58 - They had to laughter majority of their livestock during one of the mad cow diseases. It affected them. She too lost most of her United Airlines stocks she had and lost a lot of money in stock generally. I also want you to understand that a lot of United Airlines workers lost their pensions too and those pilots were among those.

I understand the whole thing about Nigerians and financial planning. i was lucky to invest in real estate after the interest rate went down in 2001/2002  - my real estate proceeds actually pay for my house I am living now and i hardly have to touch my salary to pay for my mortgage. I had a choice then to ride around in 7series BMW at those time or spray money at every party here in Dc area but I chose wisely but that doesnt mean that bad thing dont happen to good people. I had friends that didnt do owambe or dont do efizzi that lost their jobs and it wasnt pretty.

You had the opportunity to do two jobs - how many people in Nigeria can actually find one job? One time I had a contract with DOJ while I was working with FDA in the evening as a network security expert. A lotf of people dont have that opportunity.

the poster husband had a Business and the business is failing and she has to do what you did in your case but in reverse situation. She couldnt find a job in Abuja and had to go to Lagos. You dont expect her husband to leave his business even though things are not working out. You can say that is the bad thing about just having one working person in the family, but the man hasnt done wrong asking his wofe to take care of the kids while he makes the money but in this case things just didnt work well!

MILITIA:
And you say you live in America? What can K-mart work do for a family of 5? Sorry I don pass that stage! I am putting myself in her shoes because sorry to dissapoint you I am married with 3 kids too so I know what I am talking about! I said I will not leave my kids for any stupid job! As for my personality--don't worry Not every man wants a dull doormat for a wife! God bless my hubby!




Thank you! At this stage in life---I only pay for what I can afford! No credit cards thank you! Made that mistake for the first 10 years of my life in America! I will not live like a slave to pay credit cards because I want to attend all the "owanbes" in town! God forbid! Sorry oh! It is all about financial planning so I can have time for my family instead of dying a wretched death as a slave to "credit cards"! Is it my money? I do not think you know what you are talking about! credit card ke! Oni gbese!

Ok let put things in context and I dont pray it happens to you. Assuming u are a sit at home mom and your husband loses his job or his small business is not going well. You are a lawyer and you decided to take time off to take care of your kids and after your hubby lost his contract/job you gota job in Washington DC area. a Good paying job, let say you have always been living in DFW area. Are you gonna tell me you will stay your ass in DFW area til you get a job while bills are pilling up? This is basically what this woman have done.

Put my statement in context, I dont spend credit card - outside of my corporate credit card but what I meant is that at least a lot of people here have that option unless they mess up their credit. Call it financial planning I know how the Dot.com burst affected a lot of families around here in DC area. I have friends that left their families to move to another area at least for the first six months when they lost their 6 figures paying job in DFW area after looking for job for 6 months with wives who decided to stay back home to care of the kids. That it hasnt happened to you (and I dont pray it does) doesnt mean people that are going through it and making such decisions are foolish - enough of high horse

flakey94:
I don't think the fact that he was a cultist is of utmost importance because these things fizzle out once you get out of the school enviroment. I know it for a fact that it is an error to lump all frat guys together and tag them as bad! A lot of them join for the wrong reasons,i speak for the 90s when i say ignorance was a factor.
I am a woman and i happen to know that a lot of the sweetest guys i have met in my time belonged to one frat or the other as a matter of fact one stood a greater chance of being battered by club boys than cultists.

You call the guys in those cults frats? those guys are plain criminals

aik.mamah:
nice self-consolation

A lot of Nigerian men still dont understand that a lot of women are opting out of marriage these days. The problem has been that a lot of women have been made to believe the they dont have any life if they are not married. Thinsg are changing. I am getting to meet women in their late 30s who are not even bothered about being married - they like thier life the way it is - and dont give a damn about marriage. I guess a lot of us are still sold to the traditional view of women being under the sole of a man. The rules are changing and please take time to go out there and you will realize you are damn wrong saying they are consoloing themselves. These are not ugly women, these are not unsuccessful women, these are not frustrated or rejected women, these are women that believe in their singleness and their independence and dont give a damn about what you think and some of are not even feminists, they just enjoy their single life. I have friends among them - Some are my co-workers. I know the Nigerian society still see women as having to marry and put pressure on them but trust me out here in teh west the rules are being redefined!

By the way, at least you can use your credit card when you are broke here and even if you lose your job you can be on unemployment insurance for 6 months till you get yourself sorted out!