₦airaland Forum

BuddhaPalm:
Not only consent. Maybe na agreement we go dey sign soon.

And a point of correction: rape cases are not growing by the day.

I think i understand what you are aiming at. The word may not sound well in your lexicon, but what still stands is that people are raped because of signs being misconstrued and this cases seem to be increasing.

MarieSucre:
trash

trash? Like, bin trash? Or is it the style of writing or the points raised, do you have the luxury of time to elucidiate?

banmee:
Just be careful. The moment a man or woman says no and the person continues it becomes rape.

Trust the Nigerian Judiciary system to be very 'helpful' in this regard.

ghostwritter:
OP, If u think that a naija lady will say she wants s€x orally then u are sitting on a looonnnng thing. All that matter most is understanding.

why are you generalizing? Are you trying to tell me that you've not met a Nigerian lady that will tell you what she wants and how she want whatever in a relationship?

ghostwritter:
ladies think all the time a guy is happy to dash out money to her broke as§ without returns abi? Olé

Don't give out what you can't give freely if that's the case

mysticgal:
A former thread that talked about things ladies do to show sexual intentions which was more of generalisation. So this thread disputes some of the facts. That's all

kk. Good to know and i feel relieved. I'm being careful not to be pioneering the wrong ideas we are being fed with this time in age, it portends seeing women to always be for sex.

hectorr:
Na you Sabi!!, Those points u made aren't for moi. I prefer to make a move and be turned down or even slapped , to walking on the street and hearing gists that I am impotent or that I'm a mugu . Trust babes and their fast conclusions.

That's where the major problem lies, we always want to be seen as the guy that seizes every opportunity to have sex, it should not be so! It all depends on what you think add value to your life. When they call you impotent, are you?

mysticgal:
M400 see post that validates your claim

I wolud've love to know what the claim is that this post is corroborating. Hope it's aint bad!

Aristotle96:
my dear if u do all those signs its obvious u want to have sex o... Don't mind the Op he is trying to mislead people with his misleading topic

As for no.1 That's why it's called weather for 2 wen it's raining If she demands for sweater then give her sweater(s)



I have landed

obvious? Don't be too sure, i must say.

lalasticlala, seun can this thread be moved to front page cos the other thread it counters are major causes of sexual assault.

It has been the season of signs - various green lights that indicate that one is craving to have carnal knowledge of one another. I would have let the thread go without this counter-thread, but i think the importance of this thread at this time can't be underlooked or superfluous.

It will be egregious if we want to always depend on demeanours and gesture of a partner and not his/her consent before wanting to sleep with him/her.
These are why i posit so:

1. A sweater may be just the right answer.

This reason might sound funny, but give me the chance to corroborate my point. Most ladies whether they tell you or not,want guys to always treat them with tender care and not some point and sex creatures or sex symbol. Yes she came to your house, it was raining and she set-off by calling you that she is coming under the cold weather and all over your heart you think she want sex and that's why she called and she is now with you all alone. She may just want to wait somewhere until the rain stop or she just might have not had some talk time with you and that time just seem perfect. When she is in your house and she said she is cold, may be you giving her a sweater or blanket might be all she wanted.

2. She came and demanded alcohol.

She has never demanded for alcohol and this time she came and she is on her third bottle and you have concluded she want to sleep with you, this can be misconstruable! Have you asked her how she spent her day? What events have transpired in recent times? You may be preying on her vulnerability at that moment all in the name of thinking she wants to have carnal knowledge with you.
If you have sex with her and she leaves for her home you haven't solved her problems and she will know what is more important to you in the relationship.

3. He/she apriori asked his/her freind to leave the room.

And so what? Most of the time i live the room of my friends if their lady friend come visiting except what am doing there can't be done else where. next time if his/her friends live the room, it might be because they think you need your space and the guy/lady may even want sometime with you unencumbered so you could have a stronger relationship. sex can and will never make two partners be more bonded than time spent together.

4. He/she demanded you don't bring your friend(s)

In every relationship trust must be built, he/she might want to know if at the relationship life-cycle you currently are if you now truly trust each other, if you misconstrue it for sex appeal only for him/her to feel disrespected when you try to push, you may have succeeded in killing that relationship.

5. She came in with short and revealing wear and she lay her hands on you.

Yes! As indicating as it seems, the sign alone may not be what you should rely on. First, what stage of the relationship are you on. She may seem to look sensual in her outlook but have you asked what she want in her heart. Have you known her so well to know how she dresses in the day and night? What if she went somewhere and was locked out? What if she was feeling so hot inside that day she visited and decideded to dress that way.

If you don't seek the consent of anyone before trying to sleep with him/her you may find yourself battling a case of sexual assault when this was done uncosciously - one of you was not consenting. Or you may even be embarrassed if he/she is still weighing options or path to be taking in the relationship.
Relying on signs has been major reason why rape cases are growing by the day.

If you have more reasons why one should not rely upon signs please let's know

darkenedrebel:
Flattery is the food of fools...the postulate requirement for a fruitful relationship is truth - the bitter truth laid bare in all alacrity...

In your place of work, you can be fulsome towards your boss to get to grips with that position in the firm that you've be gawking at with gimlet-like eyes - but in a relationship, the reverse should be the case.

are you saying there has been no iota of flattery in all the words you've said to your partner before? That doesn't make her a fool.

Ekakamba:
you can make them blush with facts. E.g you can tell your baé with flat nose that: 'I like the shape of your nose darling, its unique & cute (if you really think its cute)' than telling her: 'Sweetheart you look pretty, thanks to your beautifully pointed nose'. There's is a way you can even playfully and romantically compliment a lady with a bigger head than mine & she'll not only blush but give you a kiss for your sincerity.... I can go on and on but no time to elucidate. Peace.

you are the sincere type, kudos

Ekakamba:
Flattery is bad. Its mostly used by guys on low self esteem biatchs just to have a go. Well, as for me I'm straightforward, even if I wan collect I'll still say the fact and I'll be given voluntarily as much as I want.

are u trying to say that it's only low self esteem ladies that you can flatter. I have seen dissenting view that most girls feel special when you make them blush

lalasticlala, If this thread is front page worthy, i'd love a wider participation.

Cutehector:
U dnt need to tell an ugly girl she looks beautiful...

Beauty they say is in the eye of the beholder, to another person that ugly babe, may be an angel.

In recent time discourse of this manner has been brought up - as to why it is necessary to flatter a lady/guy and make them blush or else he/she may not quantify to what degree or extent the love his/her partner has for him/her.

Only recently, I was asked if i can go the extra to flatter someone that i am in a relationship with, it was even posited that it's hardly any relationship where flattery does not come in when compliment are said to each other by partners.

To some, flattery is the last sincere form of anything and should be detested and reprimanded in clear terms in all aspect of an healthy relationship.
Many people employ the art of flattery to win their love, they find reason to praise and exaggerate everything that their partner do,say,wear,cook,desire,pursue, and everything he/she represent.

I'd say first & foremost, one should never start-up any gesture he/she never intends to keep up with in the life-cycle of a relationship, because when it is no longer noticeable or found within the relationship it tends to bring about a very big doubts that could in-turn end a relationship abruptly. Flattery has been found to be very enormous at the initial stage of most relationship, but as soon as this diminishes in the latter stages of the relationship? It causes questions like - ''don't he/she find me attractive any longer attractive?'' ''Is he seeing someone else?'' ''Is he/she still angry about our last conflicts?'' to arise - this in itself can put an end to a relationship that could have led to marriage.

Secondly, any words or expression that will not be said truthfully and sincerely should be avoided, because sooner or later you may think you made him/her blush, but without knowing that you planted a promise that he/she will demand it's fruit one day, only for you to have Forgetten where you planted it. Ladies are extremely sensitive to this kind of thing. sometimes I Imagine why i have some friends even though they know i will tell the truth even when it hurts, and when i am in doubts i wouldn't say nada, and when i am sure i will sincerely tell you how enchanting you are and make me feel.

Don't be quick to say i will cry when i see you crying,and the next day she was crying and you cut the phone on him/her.
With flatter you end up reaching a level of emotional intoxication, which must not be done with any guise of insincerity.

Lastly, compliments can go wrong, know what a friend will hear which to you might be with the the best intent but you've only ended spoiling his/her day, avoid words like, ''you look neat today'' really? That means she look dirty other days. Or you look older,young or innocent. You don't wanna know why he/she would've preferred to look the opposite.You musn't be brunor mars all the time, with words like i'll catch the Greenade For you'' what happens to the little form of petry that is surely flowing in your heart when you truly love someone, say something of your own.
Remember, when relationship ends, it's not how long it lasted that is first thought of, but what has been said and how what have been said had sparked up some feelings of being special and loved. I'd say everything should be done in moderation and beautifully so, without going to both extremes. Be special, be unique, and be sincere and truthful.

What's your opinion on this, is flattery a turn off or turn up for you in a relationship and to what extent?

Twinkie8:
To them it was Ishtar. It's all about the mindset dear. To me it is EASTER, The celebration of the Resurrection. I don't think about fertility and sex today, I think about The Resurrected King!
Happy Easter!

whatever they call it, all i know is that i am not bowing to any other God on that day. That settles it all

caphone:
Why should you party or celebrate easter in the club. C'mon it doesn't make sense atol

people do funny things in the name of celebrating easter, you will be amazed!

bodyloveghetto:
Happy Easter bruh...

Happy easter, to you too. God's beloved

tpiar:
Pray for yourself sweetie!

I am not the one opening senseless threads!

commenting on your senseless thread does not mean I am asking to be patronized!

Thanks for the compliment! And you got a good and big heart,am looking forward to seeing that part of you.

tpiar:
why dont you show someone out there what the love of Christ really means, instead of sitting on your butt and asking others to do so?

May God bless you and show you unending happiness

bodyloveghetto:
with me maself n I... btw I thank God for today.

don't be selfish o! Extend the celebreation to me and others,kk

tpiar:
whichever way you have been celebrating easter since you became old enough to type on the computer, is what you should stick with.

leave other people alone to celebrate however they want.

Thanks for your advice. But hope you will show someone out there what the love of christ really means.

karryn:
For me I think someone should be in isolation and be on sober reflections, meditate on your life and the love of christ for us

This sound more like it! But i think sharing the love of christ to others may go a long way

I think many people are misinformed on what easter celebration is all about - and go about it the wrong way. So where should one be and how should one celebrate the death of Jesus christ. Is it right to be in a bar, brothel...etc. And the list goes, all in the name of celebrating the same thing Jesus frowned at, when he died for our sin, or is it the right time to spend the weekend in the house of a boyfriend? Please i need your opinion on this

Change is constant! Really? A case study of Nigeria has defiled that word at the moment. What has changed? Same leaders of yesteryear, Promises with no actual action to implement.

A look at the bandwagon of artist we have who should educate & inform the masses,will rather sing of how many ladies they have in their backyard & ranges of costly cars they have - compared to yesteryear where musicians sing and tell of decadance and roths in the society - in the long run educating the masses of what democracy ought to be and why the poor masses are suffering without help.

The next album coming out very soon may be shot at South Africa
and having large numbers of South Africa models dancing half unclad and paid huge sums, Only for the same album to be sold mostly in Nigeria.

What's the use to the society - zilch,nada. Back in the days the Nigerian environments where used, Money, Cars, and babes where not what the songs was all about.

At the end they(artist) only end up compounding the problem of our youths - because they want to get the money,cars,houses and 'babes' without no Job,no good roads, and no power supply.

So what's the essence of the flamboyant show of wealth When the people that buy your
songs are suffering. Is it that artiste of yesteryear where activist and freedom fighters and the paradigm shift as brought in bunch of selfish artiste that are only concerned about telling how their life has grown in bounds. The bunch of the blame may not go to the artist, since most
Nigerians will prefer to buy a song
produced in Kenya and having kenya models dancing,than one produced in Nigeria. It's not 'bad-belleism' as some may want to put it, But am Just pondering - what has changed?

live after marriage itself will be like a prison if its isn't romantic and the partners aren't predictable in all they do.

Strahovski1:
I don't understand

read again and give your opinion

The time in age we find ourselve as totally painted a pessimistic picture about marriage that it can portrayed as or be akin to an endeavour with 50/50 chance of failure and success. Yet, that has not become a barricade for people who still find love, marriage only survives when the two who finds themselve in love, are in it because they need each other and are both irreplaceable.

1. You are in love

Truly, to say the least-this reason can be best thought of to be awkward or ridiculous,but before you conclude give me your unflickkering attention.

Love cannot be said to exist between two people even if one of them is ready to die for the other. Love is a deep feeling that should be felt between two people - not in same manner, but it should be unconditional.
One partner being totally committed in a relationship can even blind him/her from seeing lack of love from his/her partner.

Yes! Before you know it you've wasted many years and pursued more promising relationship due to the one you are currently in.

2. Your Career

Year in, year out, back to back,you are the best sales representing, best client operation manager, and the list goes. Monday to sunday, 24/7 you are working and you will only come back home by 11pm due to traffic, how would such lady be met when there is no time to go out and meet people and if actually she is one relationship it will be lacking many ingredient and will soon die. So if you want marriage, It's your decision to make!

3. It's the 21st century and It's called freedom and civilization.

There is a saying - Never forget where you are coming from, you have freedom for everything but there are just some that you are bound not to go into if you know you culture and traditions. Real life here in Nigeria is far different from the last series or telenovela.
Here you are having countless 'ports' in your ear for earrings, several outlandish tattoos, and some nose rings that makes you beautiful. You may even recieve lots of complement for being so 'cool' by an intending suitor or the person you are currently in a relationship with, but can he take you to her parents? Or is it just going to remain a friend with benefits case. A more stronger case will be a lady smoking - in Nigeria, she must be a prostitute,anyway, smokers are liable to die young. There are many turn offs for men, it can be your short wears, leg rings(have met friends who hate them), even the use of bleaching creams. Avoid such and don't think you can pretend for a while until after marriage,the result of that is far worst than not getting married.

4. Your unpleasant characters to others.

A lady/guy that never say any good thing about anyone he/she has met,must really have a problem.
You may not necessarily be of bad behaviour to him/her but subsequent encouneter he/she finds you with neighbours and friend will paint a perfect picture of the least expectation when things go wrong.

5. Never be dependent on your partner

Inasmuch as we have people that want their wife to just be full time house wife, many are opening their minds to the fact that even if the man will take care of everything the family needs,the wife should have something doing, because being idle can make evil mange one's workshop and also the wife may be plan B,for interim,when things go bad.

6. You never appreciates anything

A word of appreciation at every good gesture make one feel appreciated. No one, will want to marry someone that will tell you why didn't you buy that one instead. rather than say thanks. Or one that won't eat a meal because you didn't you put enough salt,instead of,one that eats a little and compliments the food beautifully with suggestion for more salt to be added in a lovely way.

7. You are not romantic

You don't necessarily have to involve sex in a relationship before it can be romantic, advanced english dictionary defines romantic friendship as ''an intensely emotional love relationship between two unrelated people, in which sexuality is unimportant and typically absent,but there is greater physical affection or poetic communication.

You may present a cup and another a standing fan,but the romantic features that accompany the cup may make it the best gift ever. This feature shouldn't be made peculiar to the man or the woman.

8. Your list may only come true in sweet dreams

It's good for one to have what he wants in a woman or a man,but when it can't all be met,if pivotal
Part of it has been met, give all your best to keep it growing,you may never know where it leads.

9. Radiate joy and keep a great smile.
You are like a container if you aint smiling how would one know the quality of the content.
I tried as much not to include a lady not being able to do house chores, it's has been well pronounced in this age.
As for me i don't see not being able to cook as a challenge when it comes to marriage if my partner is ready to learn.

10. sure you have more to add,please do.

IamHUGO:
FMT Futoite

Pal, can you help me edit my contact from the post you mentioned me sometimes back.
Thanks

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