₦airaland Forum

Just as children have imaginary friends they play with, which is healthy for their development but the writer's imaginary big man friends is not good for his mental wellbeing because in psychology, an adult having imaginary friends is a cause for worry.

I sat down with other Nigerians to listen to Obi when he came to Cambridge recently to give a talk......one thing I know for certain, Obi will be on the ballot paper come 2023, irrespective of the outcome.

Sweetvie:
I wonder how someone will sell their properties or borrow money just to travel when they don't even know what's in stock for them...

Do you know the problem most japa gang have... They overlook a lot of things. They overlook some country sef they only focus on the hype ones which is not suppose to be... They believe other countries apart from Uk, USA, Canada and Australia are not in existence, they believe other countries are poor and they won't make it.
If you want to travel, you should consider a lot of country... Browse and search abt them, compare them, the cost of living, housing, job and others necessary stuff but no
They just want to japa

For majority, language is the main factor. It is easier to adapt in an English speaking country than non-English speaking country.

For me, that was a key factor in my relocation plans. Yes, cost of living of living is high in the UK but one can earn to pull through the bills and still invest. What an individual earn in a day can feed him/her for the month

Elmojiid:
They serve the coffee black for him, enemy of progress... Imole dey

I prefer black coffee.

Shettima will be doing the signing, if ever they get there.

Father254:
The baby switching is possible.
Is always good for husband's to join their wife's during delivery to remove any doubt about switching their baby.

For me I always stand, watch and encourage my wife during delivery.

Baby switching is real, my younger brother was almost switched! It is commendable that you are present when your wife gives birth.

Wittyglam:
thank you so much for this. I will tell her this because most people go scot free and run from their responsibilities since we don’t have a system that works in this country.

That is the link to the episode, it provides so much legal education on obligations towards the children when a marriage ends.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZ7m6_EjQUM

Wittyglam:
Hi everybody, thank you so much for always coming through.
Most of you really give amazing advice in here.
(2mins read).

Someone reached out to me for help. She has been married for 6years now and blessed with 3kids, two boys and a girl. Here is the issue, her husband needs more kids and she has told him No on several occasions. You might be wondering why she said No…

They’re not finding it easy to feed, they’re having an hard time sending their kids to a proper school, she is working to also settle bills but her husband doesn’t care he just wants more kids. They have debt and she is trying to make him understand her reasons.

They have had meetings with families but he refused. He reported her to the church and she gave her reasons, she doesn’t want to bring more kids they can’t afford to take care of now. If things get better they can have more but he refused.

Now, the man is asking for a divorce if she doesn’t want more kids and he can’t take care of the three kids he has already. She is confused at this point because she can’t afford for the kids by herself and it’s a risk for them to have more kids.

She has begged him to understand by he doesn’t want to and if she agrees to have more kids with their situation it will affect her a lot. She sometimes has to beg relatives to feed.

If she was your sister what will you advice her to do?
Forgive any typography errors you come across.

Even if he divorces her and marry another woman, having kids with her.....he is still financially obligated to the 3 children she has with him.

It reminds me of an episode of that TV series Justice court that is presided over by a Lagos State judge and judgement enforceable. In the episode, the couple have 2 children (I think 9 and 5) and are divorced, the man has already remarried.

The man was refusing to provide fully for the 2 children from the first marriage, I was insisting he can only drop N5,000 monthly for only one the children. The judge lambasted him, reminding him it is obligation going by the law of the State that he MUST pay the children fees, healthcare and feeding. That he knows that he was financially struggling and still went ahead to start another family.

The ruling was he must continue paying for the children' school fees, healthcare and drop N20,000 monthly for children' feeding.

Let her go seek the advisory of the welfare department of the ministry of women and social development of her state to know the enforceable obligations of the husband, should he jump ship.

Johnnyjohnnyman:
That's not a problem for me I will continue to be taking care or them

Commendable.

Jashub:
...you must be stupid . My father knows I am his child not because of a paternity test , but because he knows that my mother is not a harlot like yours .

Many believe that they is no need for paternity test because their "father" is their father.

By the way, you are free to use more "colourful" adjectives, I listen to those struggling with psychosis on a daily basis as my means of livelihood...so I don't take your words personal.

Johnnyjohnnyman:
Here is the link to my previous post
https://www.nairaland.com/7252543/unsure-father-fourth-child#115180469

Whatever decisions you are going to make, just make sure that at least the 3 children you believe are biologically yours are continually provided for.

Simplyfun:
You need to tell your wife that the 4th child is not yours. If she wants to argue with you then show her the DNA result. If she know who owns the baby you can give her time to return the child. But if she didn't know the person please train the child. But don't hide this issue from her parents.

Did she buy or pick up the baby, that should be returned?

Whether the marriage ends or not, she is obligated to nurture the child.

Johnnyjohnnyman:
Good day all. I have posted exactly 2 months ago concerning my fourth child I went ahead with the DNA test unfortunately I am not her father. Right now a lot of things have been going through my head i am shattered and depressed. . I don't know yet what is going to happen in my marriage I just don't know if the marriage will work or not.
I just wanted to keep you updated about the DNA.

Now that you have confirmed that the 4th child is not biologically yours, how can you get to confirm the child is biologically your wife's. Once it is proven your wife is the birth mother that eliminates baby-switching......you then make your decisions.

Jashub:
My brother, the deed has been done and for the sake of your sanity and mental health, I suggest you start making plans to relocate and leave that harlot you call wife.

As for those bastards dwelling with you, kindly tell them to go and ask their mother to show them where their father is living . Once you can do this , you will know peace

Do your "father" have your DNA test result that you are here calling those children bastards?

Suicide mission.

Child defilement going on in many families is bone-chilling!

In Nigeria, a grandfather have been having sex with his grand daughter to the extent of procuring 4 abortions for her and has the boldness to request for a DNA test for the 5th pregnancy!......Yet to read, he has been arrested.

Cheap.

Happy birthday, wishing you the very best.

oldienavie:
The poster plans to marry a young lady and most Nigerians who are young are not settled with a gainful employment and thats his choice.

Why are people telling him what type of lady to marry ?

Is it not same here you regularly read, "she is not working, I foot the bill in the house 100%" , "I opened a business for her but she can't account for it" etc......

Rest in peace.

seunak2016:
maybe you don't know that people wait for any available opportunity to scam people like claiming (¡) they cure sickle cell patient (¡¡) green passport if your paper no complete for UK (¡¡¡) barrenness and so on.

Just as I am aware of fraudsters, mine is to give OP and his family insights into his younger sister's mental health challenge and how they should go about it in a Neuro-psychiatric hospital,

wiseone28:
This reasons made me became a monk

Monk of which faith?

seunak2016:
no wahala, as long as as you not planning to scam him .

Scam how much?

"If you dey find this woman
Pretty woman
That perfect woman wey go dey by your side
That God fearing woman
That kind of woman
Brother go build am yourself
'Cause nobody is perfect (oh yeah)"..........Paul Okoye

Look for a robot and program what you want but expecting a woman created by God to do all that in 2022, Uncle marriage is not by force, being single is not a crime.

seunak2016:
why must op send DM ? I pity op if he fall into 419 Shi.t

help him publicly or tell him what to do then he decided to do it whether your route or another route similar to yours

I have no "route". My specialty is clinical child psychology and I do not practice in Nigeria, where this could have been a "means" of getting "customers" to to my facility. I need to ask questions which he has to direct to his sister and such is not what I will be asking publicly.

HumbleOptimist:
Clarify please.

Fact is, a psychiatric facility has a way of unsettling one, even if you are a visitor. The first time, I started working in one.......I was disoriented for about 2 weeks before I eased into the system,

Jamesz12:
I can't really remember the exact diagnosis but it was around last year

Do get the exact diagnosis because any clinician who would be involved in her treatment, would request it.

During her stay there, did she have access to a therapist?

HumbleOptimist:
16

Send me a DM.

Homeless indeed!

Jamesz12:
Please like how much will it cost on the average because we are open to all options right now but we are very cost conscious because the issue has greatly depleted our finances to almost nothing.

Fact is mental healthcare is not cheap.

What was the diagnosis at UBTH, when was she admitted?

Nigeriaiscasted:
Read the above or google what a specialist means.

My knowledge of disorders grew as a result of my narcissistic abuse from my ex and parents. We are two in my family my sister is the golden child and I am the scape goat. Baba pack well you be illiterate

In this context, your lived experience does not qualify you as a "specialist". In the mental health field as that is what the subject is on, for you to be addressed as a specialist, there must be extensive academic records, professional certifications gain through trainings and also board exams, clinical experience etc.........illiteracy in this context, is not knowing what you are not.

Nigeriaiscasted:
A specialist

Under which job title?

dontrulee:
Interesting stuff. Am currently rotating through pyschiatry so I can relate. Please try to visit a psychiatry hospital as soon as possible. Unfortunately many people have stigmatized "mental illness" when actually it's just some neurotransmitters in the brain malfunctioning. When you get to the hospital, you'll asked a whole of questions (they like to talk in that department ) so be prepared, they would also do mental state examination for her which is very important. From the symptoms you described, the top differentials would be a mood disorder (depression and it's like) or pyschosis (schizophrenia and it's like). Diagnosis of psychosis would depend on if she has hallucinations (visual/auditory/tactile etc) or delusions. She may be asked to do some basic tests, her past psychiatry history is also important and also family history and the likes. Treatment for most mental illnesses is usually biopsychosocial and multidisciplinary depending on the underlying cause. I hope she gets well soon, my prayers are with her but seek treatment on time before it gets worse.

Well captured.