₦airaland Forum

It's an ugly situation here in Nigeria (and probably other African countries as well). It's sad that many of us are still confused about this. We should all be free to decide when we aren't comfortable with something anymore. If we cannot do that, how are we ever supposed to feel safe to engage in the first place?

Agreeing to have sex is not like jumping off a building where regret half-way down is futile. The reason it seems so to many men (and women) is that male sexuality is routinely indulged in Africa (at the expense of women). We believe that a man cannot control himself. But it isn't so much "cannot" as "would not". If a man likes to Bleep around, we say it's in his nature and he gets a pass for promiscuity (it's God's fault for giving him more sperm cells than he knows what to do with). Some guy would guilt a girl into feeling responsible for appeasing his excited dick, just because she's the one who "inspired" it (most of us have heard the myth that a guy would "die" from blue balls). And here again we accept that a man cannot pull out halfway through sex until he cums. They aren't built that way .

I guarantee that this won't fly in this scenario: a man wakes up from sleep to the feeling of another guy's dick in his ass. I bet he won't say "I know your biology prevents you from pulling your dick out of my ass this very minute; but after you've cum, I'll &$@*# ......."

Human beings can all be controlled by their brains. That's our design. The moment that ceases to be true for any particular individual, then he's a mental case and a danger to society. He needs to be removed and rehabilitated.

But in a court of law, however, it would be difficult to establish withdrawal of consent because it's a he-said-she-said situation. I wish we would make progress with 24/7 personal surveillance chips.

churchee:
You are pardoned.

churchee:
Is that all you have to say?

Church, I'm sorry, i didn't prepare a speech .........I never experret it.

No.

That's like an appliance without a control switch.

FriendofGod:
That is my bank. GT for life.

Miss.Write, something for you.

Lol . Thanks for thinking of me.


Good initiative from GTB.

oyb:
Actually, Nigerians are intolerant of lesbianism outside of how it is portrayed in adult entertainment with hot, young nubile women, who will get themselves and men off. Show them fat middle aged women getting it on, and the torches will come out.

Yes, I've noticed. Pretty lesbians get passes. Hypothetical lesbians (who've got the benefit of fitting the imagination) get passes. But we're intolerant of ugliness.

greiboy:
Hahaha

You also made all your point in support of the woman. forgetting that majority of men don't necessarily welcome the idea.

over the years we have abolished many of our cultural practices in Africa, but bride price seems to stick because the choice to pay the price doesn't belong to the man. it is the choice of the lady and family to demand and accept it on behalf of the lady.

So I am surprised at the ways ladies keep attacking men on the issue of bride price,

I am sure if the op wrote the article from the feminine perspective, most ladies will have supported her

Yes. I'm sorry, I didn't consider the groom's perspective.....but that's why you're here cheering on the same cause . But the choice doesn't belong to the woman, actually. A woman is traded from her father's house to her husband's house (extended family and community included). The bride price isn't hers to keep; a woman doesn't have that kind of standing in African context.

sweetetlove:
guess you haven't read about radical feminism or Alice walker color purple and Julie Bendel. Radical feminism sees lesbianism as a strong political act to end male dominance, they also argue that love relationships perpetuate patriarchal power relations through "personal domination" and therefore directly contradicted the values and goals of the movement.(source Google)

I suppose the movement you're referring to in the bolded words is Feminism.

greiboy:
So you have been observing from one corner

What is your take on the issues the op raised ?

I understand the Op's point, and even though I wouldn't support the idea of groom's price, I'm glad she has suggested it. Because the response from most guys here shows that men wouldn't allow themselves to be objectified the way women have for ages. I think women ought to learn something from that. Like Reina has said: the concept of bride price (it doesn't matter how little it is) gives some men the impression that they have purchased their wives. Some of these men don't believe they owe their wives their fidelity, or sexual gratification, or anything other than upkeep. It's also the concept of bride price that justifies bequeathing a woman to her brother in-law in the event of her husband's demise; and it gives the extended family the temerity to monitor "their wife" for productivity and to maltreat her when the husband is no more.

sweetetlove:
Educate me more on your social feminism I really want to know about it, Chidimanda Adiche is not the only married African feminist, we have the late Buchi Emecheta, Mariama Ba, Catherine Acholonu, Leslie Ogundipe, Akachi Adimora to mention a few. Note that Western feminism kicks against marriage they advocates for lesbianism.

Please.....please.....tell me you're joking with this. Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Hillary Clinton.......are (or were) all married. Western feminism is not about advocating lesbianism. Feminism liberates women from a culture which prevents women from achieving self-actualization and self-determination in society. It holds that woman should be free to pursue their dreams and their happiness without being held back for being women, and that they should have the freedom to apply themselves to opportunity without discrimination on account of their gender. If feminism now limits women to lesbianism and singlehood (like you claim), isn't that enslavement and not liberation?

pocohantas:
That's why I told you not to stress yourself. I have read that "alcohol shot" theory here before, it sounds same way it sounded first time I read it. I would suddenly adopt a different sexual preference because I am drunk?

They know so much about women. When they meet that one woman who doesn't conform with their stereotyped views...they start crying that women are confused. They won't take their L and accept that women, just like humans... are different in their unique ways.

Yea, it was here I read it too. Women love very rough sex...
Chain us to the bed and demolish down there, we love it

Lots of homosexuals around, the society is just less tolerant of them. So, they're more clandestine.

Word.

Jamariwolff:
lol sis, the surprise me oo.
Na so this guy I visit yesterday go drop all him chairs for him male friends house and took their bed in exchange.
As I enter, I couldn't even see space to walk, bed everywhere for ground like he's selling bed.

Such a smart troll, but I was wiser than him tho.

Lmao! @"Bed everywhere" Omg, you're so funny. I like your public service announcement.......on point, darling

Jamariwolff:
listen to yourself, just read what you wrote.

So if i came to a man's house, I needed sex?

What typa mentality is this?

I don't know if that's how you've been seducing all ladies you invite, but not me biko.

Bring those chairs out lemme sit-down

Martin0:
i admire the way u talk here.

do u care for beer (alcohol)

You mean generally? Yeah, it's okay. Especially on Fridays or Saturdays.

pocohantas:
Miss Write stop wasting your time, they are never going to get it.
I've heard this all women have traits of lesbianism severally, and I always look at people who say such as stupid...no offence. It's like saying all men are promiscuous...

One even said there are few cases of bisexual men, that's where I gave up... If only they know how many women are married to gay men. Those men bursting young boys bum in Nigeria,are they not someone's husband?


Naso them talk say all women have traits of being masochist too.
Dumb stereotypes...!!!

Lol! I hear you, Poco. Sometimes I just wonder where all this is coming from though. Wishful thinking or do they just want to bash women again? To assume that a group of women would activate lesbo-mode after a few shots of alcohol.......sounds like a scene playing out in a hopeful boy's head, no? Reality isn't always kind to dreamers.

Generalizations aside, why would anyone want to insist that I was a lesbian (or have the tendency to be one) after I have told them otherwise? Why can't it be accepted that I would know myself, in the very least?

You're so right: most of them aren't awake to the prevalence of homosexual men hiding away in heterosexual relationships. And because they're ignorant of it, they don't understand the role social bias plays in perpetuating this kind of dishonesty which has ended up trapping so many women in very awkward situations.

all women.......masochist? Some of them are only looking for grooves in which to anchor their sadism without a guilty conscience.

aribitoye:
You are a very intelligent writer. I like you

....... Thank you.

EOOJ:
I disagree with dis statement o.... They are promiscuous by choice and not bkos its a natural sontin.... My opinion though

Yes. I think that I might defer to this.

In any case, those two statements (in that post you quoted) can't both be true, can they? It wasn't thought out. Maybe everyone is biologically built for promiscuity to begin with; but the expression of it is regulated by morality? I'm contemplating this because we all have the ability to be sexually attracted to an unlimited number of partners. The brain and sexual organs don't become unresponsive to the next person after being mated with one partner, so the decision to be monogamous is not a reflection of our biology; it's rather a reflection of our morality and cultural values. So this makes the expression or suppression of promiscuity a conscious choice. There are lower animals that mate for life, though (beavers, swans, etc....if that concept hasn't been disproven); I don't think they are regulated by morality. Maybe there is something distinct that happens while they mate which discourages the possibility of a future pairing with a different mate? Like the studies with oxytocin and its effect on sexual fidelity? What do you think?

greiboy:
ok, I am still waiting for your next story. I don't really read fictional books or stories but I promise to read yours.

Awwww.....thank you.

greiboy:
Sure, let us be cautiously optimistic about arsenal performance for the rest of the season

I made some typo in my previous post which may affect the meaning. I have made corrections. Hope you still think it makes sense

Lol, Yeah, I caught it. I took it for granted that you meant "not comfortable". So yes, I stand by it: sense-making post.

greiboy:
Sorry for the late response dear

First of all, yeeeeeeeee arsenal won. miki provided three assist

Back to the topic,
I don't really think the FMM is a common phenomenon, partly because it requires a lot of effort from the lady and partly because most men are totally comfortable with such arrangements. I think the ffm is more common amongst the sex freaks because the ladies involved can sexually satisfy each other, unlike in most Femme combo where majority of the satisfaction is coming from the lady alone.

Nonetheless, the whole combo doesn't equate to relationships or true affection of any kind and more importantly it is mostly common amongst sex freaks. it is mostly just sexual fantasies. So I personally don't see it relating to the topic.

Yaaaay Arsenal!!! Let's see what the future holds for us with miki and auba.....and Ozil. Btw, Ramsey's got his first hat trick.

Nice perspective; makes sense.

No, it doesn't equate to happiness, that's not been in doubt.

Dimples129:

. Yes na.

MensCabal:
Wait, are you talking about the Arsenal Vs Everton match? Are you sure you are a lady? I was thinking you would say BBNaija or Zeeworld,

I'm trying not to overthink the matter and simply go by my genitals.

MensCabal:
I don't think assumptions will get us anywhere, but

It's the hypocrisy of patriarchal culture again; and this view (that women are naturally inclined to be lesbians) is just as skewed as believing men are biological inclined to be promiscuous while women are monogamous in nature.

Lets work on what you said.

1. Women are not inclined to be lesbians naturally, no single law assumes that insuinates that or states that. Naturally, men are believed to be hardened, strong and vibrant. So seeing two men kissing will likely make them look weaker than men, and that is why we call them women because the only other gender that looks like a man and is weaker than man is a woman. That doesn't mean we all like women kissing...

It sounds to me like you're agreeing to the fact that woman aren't all naturally lesbians....is that correct? And I didn't say "all men" are turned on by girl on girl action, like you're now claiming (I try to be careful about that). I said "most men". And the reason I say most men is not that I have personally conducted a poll; I am only considering its relevance in popular culture. With the way it is portrayed on television, for instance, you can suppose that art either imitates life, or art influences life (life imitates art). Sometimes, people are inclined to like what is "expected".

2. On the thought that men are biologically incline to be promiscuous while women are monogamous in nature. I don't think you read a lot of biology in school if not you would have known that, that is how things are. You don't even need to read biology, but simply watch National Geography. When lions form a pride there is one big male lion known as the Alpha male that gets to mate with all the females in the pride (even though they are 10) and the females only mate with just him. That is promiscuity and monogamy in nature for you. The females would only mate with multiple lions so that during invasions their cubs wouldn't be killed by rival lions as many lions will think they are the father of the cub.

. You might think that my problem is that I didn't read enough biology text books in school; but I think that your problem is that you stopped reading biology texts in school. You should try to keep yourself up to date with discoveries that are taking place in our dynamic world; most of those books are obsolete. If you see a book that still supposes Pluto is a planet, throw it in the trash. Sexual selection theory was largely dependent on the assumption that the sexual behaviour amongst animals should mimic the behaviour amongst human beings: Promiscuous male versus coy female. The economic principles of the "expensive" egg versus the "cheap" sperm was a later corroboration. And yet the lioness (which you cite) has been observed to mate 100 times a day with different partners. in fact, promiscuity has been observed amongst females of several animal species.

But look! see what you have said in the bolded words. Even though I don't quite understand the reason you have cited, it seems like you are acknowledging the lioness' propensity to mate indiscriminately.

3. Pop culture has made everything all about being plastic and fake and that is why some men easily accept women as lesbians and that is why more women are more inclined to be lesbians (feminists especially). For example, anal sex is a waste of time but many ladies claim to prefer it for no concrete reason. This is because pop culture has made them believe that anal sex makes them more of who they are, just as women have been conditioned to believe that marriage is their greatest achievement..

Lol! . popular culture is still culture; I'm not asking where the values come from, I'm only stating what seems prevalent. Maybe you're right about "feminists especially" but have you conducted a research? Or are you simply doing what you've (only a little while ago) criticized me for? Yes, like earlier stated, I can see how people can be influenced by what they see, and therefore tend towards what is "expected"; but I really cannot say much about "many women preferring anal" I cannot even imagine it for myself.

And since society (men, patriarchy) condones lesbianism and not ma-man gay sex, it's become bolder in public spaces (the same way that male promiscuity has become bold) . And now they want to say that all women are biologically disposed to be gay? I don't think so. There are gay women and straight women; just like there are gay men and straight men.

1. If by society you refer to religious beliefs then understand that it doesn't condone any of it, lesbianism or man-man gay sex. If you refer to people's personal opinions and pop culture then you are correct and that is because men don't see each other as partners (using lions), but rivals, friends and nothing more, while women (using lionesses) are more likely to bond, which may likely goes into lesbianism and since it arouses men then there is no need to stop it. We (men) don't accept it because it's not wrong, we accept it because it arouses our perverted minds.

When I say "society", I'm referring to prevalent culture. The current way we live and what we allow in the secular world. It's ever changing. There was a time the secular world reflected more religious nuances than it does now. But now people don't really consult religious books for guidance; they consult them to look for justifications for their actions. That's the reason for all the hypocrisy and inconsistency.

At bolded, I said this earlier; do you not like the way I phrased it?

2. There is no such thing as gay women or gay men. This is where pop culture comes in again, the same culture that made women believe that it's all about getting the ring (If you watch WAGS you will understand)

I must disagree with you on this one, and please let me. There are gay people. It's not a myth. There are actually people in this world who have sex with partners who are of the same sex as they are. Don't tell anyone.

MensCabal:
I don't think assumptions will get us anywhere, but

It's the hypocrisy of patriarchal culture again; and this view (that women are naturally inclined to be lesbians) is just as skewed as believing men are biological inclined to be promiscuous while women are monogamous in nature.

Lets work on what you said.

1. Women are not inclined to be lesbians naturally, no single law assumes that insuinates that or states that. Naturally, men are believed to be hardened, strong and vibrant. So seeing two men kissing will likely make them look weaker than men, and that is why we call them women because the only other gender that looks like a man and is weaker than man is a woman. That doesn't mean we all like women kissing...

2. On the thought that men are biologically incline to be promiscuous while women are monogamous in nature. I don't think you read a lot of biology in school if not you would have known that, that is how things are. You don't even need to read biology, but simply watch National Geography. When lions form a pride there is one big male lion known as the Alpha male that gets to mate with all the females in the pride (even though they are 10) and the females only mate with just him. That is promiscuity and monogamy in nature for you. The females would only mate with multiple lions so that during invasions their cubs wouldn't be killed by rival lions as many lions will think they are the father of the cub.

3. Pop culture has made everything all about being plastic and fake and that is why some men easily accept women as lesbians and that is why more women are more inclined to be lesbians (feminists especially). For example, anal sex is a waste of time but many ladies claim to prefer it for no concrete reason. This is because pop culture has made them believe that anal sex makes them more of who they are, just as women have been conditioned to believe that marriage is their greatest achievement..

And since society (men, patriarchy) condones lesbianism and not ma-man gay sex, it's become bolder in public spaces (the same way that male promiscuity has become bold) . And now they want to say that all women are biologically disposed to be gay? I don't think so. There are gay women and straight women; just like there are gay men and straight men.

1. If by society you refer to religious beliefs then understand that it doesn't condone any of it, lesbianism or man-man gay sex. If you refer to people's personal opinions and pop culture then you are correct and that is because men don't see each other as partners (using lions), but rivals, friends and nothing more, while women (using lionesses) are more likely to bond, which may likely goes into lesbianism and since it arouses men then there is no need to stop it. We (men) don't accept it because it's not wrong, we accpet it because it arouses our perverted minds.

2. There is no such thing as gay women or gay men. This is where pop culture comes in again, the same culture that made women believe that it's all about getting the ring (If you watch WAGS you will understand)

I'm not asking you to assume. I'm asking you to answer from your point of view: which do you prefer?

I will be back to read this after the game.

greiboy:
I am extremely confused here, trying to understand the point of this argument.

First of all, is this argument about party? FFm or Mmf

Secondly, correct me if I am wrong but are they not similar in most cases. I believe in most cases the F is getting it regardless if the situation, I have never seen or heard of a M on M action during three some marathon that involves FMM before.

I hope I am not off point.

Lol, No, sweetie, you aren't off point. Yes we are talking about 3-somes. I made the sweeping assumption that most heterosexual men are more comfortable with FFM than FMM. And that's because, from my interaction with guys, I've found that most guys are not comfortable with having another guy's parts exposed anywhere around them. But most don't mind having a double portion of female parts play with instead. A man in an FFM situation pays attention to two women, so there's a lot to do.

The appeal, sometimes, for FMM is debasing the girl. Like you said, there might not be any guy on guy action (especially if the guy doesn't have any homosexual inclinations); but some guys get their kicks out of treating a girl like trash. So the whole double-dicking, or stuffing all her cavities at the same time works for them. Sometimes, though, FMM might be the girl's request and the guys might just be two people who don't want to pass up an opportunity.

So there, I explained the assumptions that led to that claim. But nevertheless, a poll would still be useful. What are your persuasions? FFM or FMM? And why?

MensCabal:
I don't really want to argue with you dear because it wouldn't lead to sharing ideas. I just want you to understand that the way African (Nigerians) view things are very different from the Americans, I checked your statistics from psychology today and it was referring to the Western society in which Women are equal to Men, unlike African society.

I don't think it would be possible for you to bring up statistics that talk about African threesomes and that is why I said you probably assumed that theory.

No, I cannot bring up stats about Africans. You're right about that. We don't have those. But you asked for data and since everyone is basing their argument on foreign research, I didn't see why I shouldn't. For homegrown information, however, I can only ask around and decide from responses. Which do you prefer? Let's start there and then I'll give you the assumptions that prompted my claim.

The question is: if you were to find yourself in a 3-way, which would you be more comfortable with? FFM or FMM?

MensCabal:
You can't say one is more popular than the other because you assume it is. without facts and figures to prove it, then this your point is invalid. How do you know that it is the more popular mix, is it because you watch a lot of porn? or because you have seen surveys which said so. Or are you just assuming because you think two guys wouldn't like banging a girl on a normal day?

First, we have cleared up the fact that both combinations of 3-somes were acknowledged, contrary to your claims (a point you are conveniently sidestepping even when that was your basis for quoting me). And now to the fact that I claim that for heterosexual men the choice of two girls is more popular than two guys: some studies have shown that more men prefer FFM to FMM 3-somes. The following statistic was published by psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/strictly-casual/201603/how-many-people-are-really-interested-in-threesomes

Toxay:
Really,so you think men are the only ones culpable for an imbalanced society. And that is the problem of many feminists because women are just as guilty as men as regard the establishment of a patriachal society that we have. This is well highlighted in how mother train thier male children diff from the female ones. @miss write

You mean women are culpable for raising their sons in a certain way and daughters in others? Of course, I agree with you. They're culpable because they didn't try to change things. But isn't that what feminists are trying to do? When I say "blame yourselves" - I'm referring to the patriarchal society which, personified, has the semblance of the male chauvinist pig; it doesn't matter whether it's docile women, docile men or the chauvinistic men themselves who've perpetuated that guise, it's one collective front.

Tallesty1:
I am skeptical about engaging you in this debate because you type/talk too much. You mustn't write a novel to air your opinion. Haba, are you related to Adichie?

Sentiments aside, most women are bisexual and I am not saying this for fun. You can can carry out your own research if you doubt me. Get 10 straight ladies in a room, get them drunk then sit back and enjoy. It is that simple.

Alternatively you can read this from BBC, The outcome of a study that was carried out by the University of Essex. They carried out a research and their findings were that no woman is "totally straight".


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34744903


Hey, and that thing you said about enjoying lesbian sex, it's not the sex we watch, it is the organs that arouse us, same gay porn arouse women.

The argument is that not all women have lesbian tendencies; it's not natural to all women. If your research shows that most girls are bisexual then that's just comparing the numbers (and I have no idea about that; I haven't counted). It doesn't negate the claim that not all women are lesbians though. And if your research shows that no woman is entirely straight, even if several women can definitively vouch (for themselves) that they're not sexually attracted to women in any way, then it means that researchers must have discovered something fundamental in the biology of women that alludes to "fluid sexuality". This means that whatever my personal perception about myself is, as a woman, is insignificant in defining the sexuality of women in general. If I know that I'm straight, research shows that I'm not. If I know that I'm gay, research shows I'm not.

I am bisexual, according to research. And if the sexuality of women is fluid, then it isn't the yin to the yang of male sexuality which must be equally fluid. In fact, research also shows that sexuality isn't binary (this or that), it's a spectrum. And I'm not talking about just women now. The fact that you can climax while masturbating implies (and is so recorded by some researchers) that we are all first auto-sexual. And where you fall in the spectrum from gay to straight would depend on your nature (chemical composition) as well as your nurture.

There's no doubt that our culture gives women the opportunity to explore by allowing us be "free" with each other. But in like fashion, that society also plants a bias in men to be averse to man/man affection. This is why homosexual men are more likely to be victims of internalized homophobia then homosexual women. They condemn themselves because it is their cultural bias to do so. A woman who is bi-curious might be more inclined to experiment (and then revert to being straight) than a man who is bi-curious. There is something to be said about the fact that a man can't stand being touched by another man. Aversion is not indifference.

So I still say, the "perception" that women have homosexual markers (and men do not) is so because of the cultural bias that allows one and not the other. And men cannot differentiate between sexual touching and anything otherwise. Case in point: the Op. You want to get ten girls drunk? How many do you suppose would go down on the other according to the plot of that porn flick? Come on.


Lol! The organs, shey? I'm going to have to test that theory by discovering whether ten naked girl standing in a row (even twirling) would get more hits than two girls making out.

I know ......novel.

princfred:
Scholes was pushing him off he didnt see it coming.

Lol! So Neville is the one whose bro-card has been revoked then. It's all good

Although it looks to me like Scholes is trying to feel on his pecs (serratus?).....

IamLEGEND1:
A bro has neither the permission nor the right to display any sort of emotion when he is with another bro.
In the event that a bro takes an action that pleases another bro deeply, they simply share a quick look & nod at each other like a couple of douche bags.
it's either that or a first bump. So there you have it- the full range of emotions allowed to be shared between two bros.

Any bro who is comfortable crying in front of his bros or giving his bros kisses on the cheek is considered an anomaly & is removed from the circle of bros and the friendship terminated with extreme prejudice.
And before you say anything about society influencing this unspoken rule of brotherhood, know that this is one of those instances where nature wins over nurture.
We were not made to be so by external forces, we were born this way.

Anomaly.........you mean freak of nature? Regardless, those are still products of nature even if they are in the barest minority. And if they are products of nature (and not manufactured in a lab), then they're not "unnatural"; it only means that nature makes all kinds of people. They should be allowed to be themselves without fearing that someone would "remove" them from "the circle". If nature hasn't dealt with you by killing you off, what gives anyone the right to try to change you just because they think you're fruity? I'm just thinking out loud.

Well, men aren't so uptight anymore. I've seen guys send this: , to fellow guys on this forum (it takes some getting used to, but in the meantime it's amusing). But hey, it's no worse than this passionate kiss between Gary and Paul.....

You say they aren't bros anymore .

donstan18:
Oh fvck!

Did you just call that "Affectionate attitude" ? you seems to forget that there's much similarity between "Affection" and "Sexual fonds" especially when the two same gender parties aren't bloodly related

Get me, i'm not against women publicly showing affections to each other, i'm just trying to let you know that there's a point in the Op's thread if only you view it in a different angle or African societal pleasing angle.



I really don't think the society judges it, any prove of that?, I just feel it's a natural sh*t with men, they just feel disgusted with it.



A man should call me "Boo" and watch me punch his nose

Lmao! , that's exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have said society "judges it" rather society is "disgusted by it". But you guys are putting a lot of pressure on some emotional guys who would want to be affectionate with each other, and send each other the kiss emoji with no strings attached.

I know the Op has a point: society condones lesbianism. I agreed to that in my post. But I don't agree that all women have lesbian tendencies. Like I said: women just find it okay to be affectionate with each other in public because society is not disgusted by it. We don't have to hide it or suppress it. Whereas you feel the need to bloody a guy's nose over calling you "boo".