ReinaFarine:
Who knows the northern nigerian custom of the woman buying physical and tangible properties like bed and mattress, refrigerator, television, kitchen utensils for her new home.
I am a feminist... I have never understood the concept of a man selling his daughter for a few million naira or quantifying his wife to be's worth to a few miserly property... Scrap bride price, start groom price, doesnt make a difference to me...
The stupid bride price has even created enough disrespect and sexism... I bought you do what i say... I paid your 'school fees' through the dowry, you are not working in my house and other bullshit... Haha...

Abeg how much is the groom price? Let me start saving...
If it is a custom that causes you pain because you're a man, i'm gonna join you walk against bride price...

I think it started as a test to see the groom's financial capability in taking care of his bride's (and subsequently new family) needs but it has been bastardised to a female (sex) trade thingie... Some culture tests physical capability, some test the woman's cooking ability, and the whole bend down to serve your new man thingie...

@bolded

Wrong

The barstadising of the bride price is not main reason to have a rethink about the idea of bride price. The main point we want to drive home here is to eliminate a need for men to prove their financial self worth before marriage because it doesn't seem like a fair approach. It seems like gender bias to many modern African men.

Women liberation movement aka feminism ideologies have constantly evolved over the years, starting from a simple advocacy for voting right to more complex issues around women sexuality.

The issues raised by op is worth looking into and having a rational debate about. I know you support looking into the idea but your reasons for supporting the idea is highly dismissive.

ReinaFarine:

Google.is your friend

-Fůcking harsh

ReinaFarine:

The question is why?

I can go on and on to explain why they are not equal, but then I want you to research and Google it, google is at your finger tip so google it, come back and tell me what you learnt.


I'm open to constructive criticism.

Chikita66:
I don't care about the different kinds of feminism in the world, they all strive to one goal which is equality of the sexes and which I am not in support of.

sweetheart that's where you get it all wrong not all feminism advocates for gender equality, you should read more on the concept. Ciao

ReinaFarine:


Google.is your friend

you brought it up I want to learn from you, or you don't know the meaning?

Shugavee:
sorry to tell u honey!! Ur a feminist!!! No one says i will stick to a cheating man while single!! I wont take being cheated on to n thsnk God it hasnt happened!!

I'm not a feminist, why are you guys calling me that, is it by force to be one, I know my rights and I know if am cheated on, am dumping his ass ASAP, that doesn't mean am a feminist, that is me knowing my self worth and knowing there are some shitt I won't take in a relationship.

I believe that what is good for the goose is good for the gander but then men and women cannot be equal, we woman are weaker vessel, argue from now till next year, it still won't change that fact. Let's tell ourselves the truth small.

sweetetlove:
sweetheart that's where you get it all wrong not all feminism advocates for gender equality, you should read more on the concept. Ciao

okay so u are a feminist n u dont advocate 4 equality Wow!!! Loloolol

sweetetlove:
Educate me more on your social feminism I really want to know about it, Chidimanda Adiche is not the only married African feminist, we have the late Buchi Emecheta, Mariama Ba, Catherine Acholonu, Leslie Ogundipe, Akachi Adimora to mention a few. Note that Western feminism kicks against marriage they advocates for lesbianism.

Please.....please.....tell me you're joking with this. Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Hillary Clinton.......are (or were) all married. Western feminism is not about advocating lesbianism. Feminism liberates women from a culture which prevents women from achieving self-actualization and self-determination in society. It holds that woman should be free to pursue their dreams and their happiness without being held back for being women, and that they should have the freedom to apply themselves to opportunity without discrimination on account of their gender. If feminism now limits women to lesbianism and singlehood (like you claim), isn't that enslavement and not liberation?

Chikita66:
I'm not a feminist, why are you guys calling me that, is it by force to be one, I know my rights and I know if am cheated on, am dumping his ass ASAP, that doesn't mean am a feminist, that is me knowing my self worth and knowing there are some shitt I won't take in a relationship.

I believe that what is good for the goose is good for the gander but then men and women cannot be equal, we woman are weaker vessel, argue from now till next year, it still won't change that fact. Let's tell ourselves the truth small.

hahaha okay!!! Quick question!! If u were told to go back to 50 years when women were rags !! Hope u would voluntarily go!

Shugavee:
just 4 ur information!! Chiamanda is a socialist africian feminism!! Africian based on her nationality!! Read more abt her tho

there you go again who doesn't know Chidimanda Adiche is an African feminist?

greiboy:
@bolded

Wrong

The barstadising of the bride price is not main reason to have a rethink about the idea of bride price. The main point we want to drive home here is to eliminate a need for men to prove their financial self worth before marriage because it doesn't seems like a fair approach. It seems like gender bias to many modern African men.

Women liberation movement aka feminism ideology have constantly evolved over the years, starting from a simple advocacy for voting right to more complex issues around women sexuality.

The issues raised by op is worth looking into and having a rational debate about. I know you support looking into the idea but your reasons for supporting the idea is highly dismissive.

Sweetie, you got me twisted... I said if it hurts you to get married because you're a man and you're made to pay then it is a sexist custom because it favours one gender over another .. I just traced the history and custom of bride price... Bride price encourages misogyny on the male end and I see.it as a pseudo slave trade kind of thing... I am against buying a woman as if she were a property... I argued that over ten years ago when I was in jss two reading the story of zainobe in an AFRICAN NIGHT ENTERTAINMENT. I was deeply insulted when a woman's worth was compared to a cloth in the market... It insults and demeans me... I strongly suggest that book to every 'I'm not a feminist' woman.
I tried to state how archaic the culture is... That you can borrow 5million for dowry doesn't mean he won't keep the woman in abject poverty and live a live of drunkness and womanizing...
The fact that I squat to the ground to serve him palm wine doesn't mean I can't stand up tomorrow to bash his head...
Look at my first paragraph... Dowry isn't always harder on the man...

sekxyqueen:
my sister I tire

Happy Sunday dear, baby are you a feminist?

MissWrite:
[/b]




Please.....please.....tell me you're joking with this. Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Hillary Clinton.......are (or were) all married. Western feminism is not about advocating lesbianism. Feminism liberates women from a culture which prevents women from achieving self-actualization and self-determination in society. It holds that woman should be free to pursue their dreams and their happiness without being held back for being women, and that they should have the freedom to apply themselves to opportunity without discrimination on account of their gender. If feminism now limits women to lesbianism and singlehood (like you claim), isn't that enslavement and not liberation?

So you have been observing from one corner

What is your take on the issues the op raised ?

sweetetlove:
am not arguing about their sexual preference. Was waiting for you to explain your social feminism I did gender studies in school and I haven't heard about social feminism, I know about motherism, womanism, Stiwanism etc but social feminism, I just heard it today pls educate me on the term social feminism, is it a new concept?

i cant expain her ask Google!! We hv liberal, radical, socialist, individualist n cultural feminist, black feminism as well!!! Read abt them!!

Shugavee:
okay so u are a feminist n u dont advocate 4 equality Wow!!! Loloolol

yes because am an African feminist Buchi Emecheta said "but if i am now a feminist then am an african feminist with small letter f"

sweetetlove:
you brought it up I want to learn from you, or you don't know the meaning?

I didn't bring it up honey... I googled and for the result.. And I suggested the same to reduce redundancy... Here is my Google result...


Social feminism is a term used to describe feminist movements that advocate for social rights and special accommodations for women. It was first used to describe members of the women's suffrage movement in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries who were concerned with social problems that affected women and children. They saw obtaining the vote mainly as a means to achieve their reform goals rather than a primary goal in itself. After women gained the right to vote, social feminism continued in the form of labor feminists who advocated for protectionist legislation and special benefits for women. The term is widely used, although some historians have questioned its validity

sweetetlove:
there you go again who doesn't know Chidimanda Adiche is an African feminist?

she is africian based on nationality sis!! Read abt her agendas n then read abt socialist feminism n radical feminism!! Reason why she does not answer her husband's name!! Hahaha am not even as strong headed as she is!!! She is refered to as miss not mrs!!! Read abt her please!! We all africian feminist i am africian!!! Will u then refer to me as a western feminist?? Lol

Chikita66:
I can go on and on to explain why they are not equal, but then I want you to research and Google it, google is at your finger tip so google it, come back and tell me what you learnt.


I'm open to constructive criticism.

I learnt that a man has a dick and two balls and I don't... Is that where his extra IQ and SUPERIORITY resides?

FuckingSteel:


-Fůcking harsh

C'mon..
I didn't mean it that way... And I'm sorry if she was offended

ReinaFarine:


Sweetie, you got me twisted... I said if it hurts you to get married because you're a man and you're made to pay then it is a sexist custom because it favours one gender over another .. I just traced the history and custom of bride price... Bride price encourages misogyny on the male end and I see.it as a pseudo slave trade kind of thing... I am against buying a woman as if she were a property... I argued that over ten years ago when I was in jss two reading the story of zainobe in an AFRICAN NIGHT ENTERTAINMENT. I was deeply insulted when a woman's worth was compared to a cloth in the market... It insults and demeans me... I strongly suggest that book to every 'I'm not a feminist' woman.
I tried to state how archaic the culture is... That you can borrow 5million for dowry doesn't mean he won't keep the woman in abject poverty and live a live of drunkness and womanizing...
The fact that I squat to the ground to serve him palm wine doesn't mean I can't stand up tomorrow to bash his head...
Look at my first paragraph... Dowry isn't always harder on the man...

You made good point, I am really happy that you see bride price as destructive item or prison of some sort. Still, it seems you have not gotten our point, you are only arguing from the women's perspective.

Most men are not entirely happy with the arrangements either, but some of your feminists colleagues are still fighting tooth and nail to preserve the idea. This was the main reason for our disagreement. The mere fact that you keep dismissing this in your arguments makes it look one sided.

sweetetlove:
y are you masturbating on every feminist thread lol. Read wide there are different types of feminism with its tenets and it differs because of cultural and societal norms. If you don't understand the concept of feminism then don't argue about it. What's your definition of feminism let me see how i can help you

take your insults to someone who is at your same level of lowness.
learn to communicate your opinion without being offensive.

sweetetlove:
yes because am an African feminist Buchi Emecheta said "but if i am now a feminist then am an african feminist with small letter f"

okay we seek 4 different agendas then!! I am a feminist with big huge FFF

Chikita66:
Happy Sunday dear, baby are you a feminist?

nope..happy sunday

how's preparations?

ReinaFarine:


I learnt that a man has a dick and two balls and I don't... Is that where his extra IQ and SUPERIORITY resides?

greiboy:
You made good point, I am really happy that you see bride price as destructive item or prison of some sort. Still, it seems you have not gotten our point, you are only arguing from the women's perspective.

Most men are not entirely happy with the arrangements either, but some of your feminists colleagues are still fighting tooth and nail to preserve the idea. This was the main reason for our disagreement. The mere fact that you keep dismissing this in your arguments makes it look one sided.

I am for both sides honey... I didn't read that thread I guess... No true feminist will be for the oppression of a gender because of 'love' or 'marriage'

That one is blatant and clear... I wanted to explain to the submissive female.I'm seeing on this thread why dowry and bride price demeans them...

Shugavee:
hope u know chiamanda adichie is married to a white man n didnt take his name!! N furthermore i am not an africian feminist i am a socialist feminist

but she still hold the name of her father? A man. Lolz

So what name will her children bear?

sekxyqueen:

nope..happy sunday

how's preparations?

One more week that is what I need, so many books to cover, I'm not feeling fine, having body ache, but I took meds.

MissWrite:
[/b]




Please.....please.....tell me you're joking with this. Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Hillary Clinton.......are (or werdominancestern feminism is not about advocating lesbianism. Feminism liberates women from a culture which prevents women from achieving self-actualization and self-determination in society. It holds that woman should be free to pursue their dreams and their happiness without being held back for being women, and that they should have the freedom to apply themselves to opportunity without discrimination on account of their gender. If feminism now limits women to lesbianism and singlehood (like you claim), isn't that enslavement and not liberation?

guess you haven't read about radical feminism or Alice walker color purple and Julie Bendel. Radical feminism sees lesbianism as a strong political act to end male dominance, they also argue that love relationships perpetuate patriarchal power relations through "personal domination" and therefore directly contradicted the values and goals of the movement.(source Google)

Letzdothething:
but she still hold the name of her father? A man. Lolz

So what name will her children bear?

i dont know but i so damn love her 4 a guts!!! I dont think i am as radical as she is, but i love her!!

ReinaFarine:


I am for both sides honey... I didn't read that thread I guess... No true feminist will be for the oppression of a gender because of 'love' or 'marriage'

That one is blatant and clear... I wanted to explain to the submissive female.I'm seeing on this thread why dowry and bride price demeans them...

I am glad you see things that way.

If you have skimmed through the thread, you will notice where some ladies were against the idea of even having a rational discussion around bride price in relation to feminism.

I guess that was where most guys decided to counter them, since feminism is an advocacy for equality amongst the sexes.

sweetetlove:
guess you haven't read about radical feminism or Alice walker color purple and Julie Bendel. Radical feminism sees lesbianism as a strong political act to end male dominance, they also argue that love relationships perpetuate patriarchal power relations through "personal domination" and therefore directly contradicted the values and goals of the movement.(source Google)

hey girl u never new till i told u to google it!! So chill!!! Radical feminism is extreme feminism very close to misandrism! All real feminist know that!!! Am a socialist feminist not radical!! In addition i love the D

ReinaFarine:

I didn't bring it up honey... I googled and for the result.. And I suggested the same to reduce redundancy... Here is my Google result...


Social feminism is a term used to describe feminist movements that advocate for social rights and special accommodations for women. It was first used to describe members of the women's suffrage movement in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries who were concerned with social problems that affected women and children. They saw obtaining the vote mainly as a means to achieve their reform goals rather than a primary goal in itself. After women gained the right to vote, social feminism continued in the form of labor feminists who advocated for protectionist legislation and special benefits for women. The term is widely used, although some historians have questioned its validity

thanks sis that's what I wanted to know