₦airaland Forum

On point.

Choosing a man simply because he's handsome is just as shallow as choosing him for his wealth. Beauty is only skin deep. Looks fade and people get broke. What's of more durable value is the character of the man.

That said, I'm not looking for a boy toy (or trophy man?), so I have no urgent use for six packs really. But money is always useful. So hook me up with the pot belly. I can get him to spend some of his cash on gym subscription to lose the belly if it ever gets in the way of things.

mrdickhead:
you will get there soon dear,,,keep trying and never give up.

Thank you.

mrdickhead:
lol yes naa.

are you a writer?

Trying to be one.

mrdickhead:
lolz,,when a bird learn to fly without perching then the hunter will also to learn without missing

Exactly!

Yes. You can trust that she will cheat on you again. Once broken, trust would never regain its first integrity. There will always be suspicion. Do you want to live that way?

Preciousgirl:
YOU ARE YUMMY
YUMMY ARE YOU
YUMMY ME AND I YUMMY YOU
UNYUMMY ME AND I UNYUMMY YOU

YOOOMIIIIII EEEEEEE

What could this mean? I am scared

I asked him and he said he sent to me by mistake

My boss is making me uncomfortable

He's obviously propositioning you (or someone). You did good by confronting him about it. Since he has denied that it was meant for you, one of two things could likely happen. He could try again, or he could start finding fault in everything you do so that he can give you the sack. (Since he can't get you in the sack). He was clear enough: if you unyummy him he will unyummy you. That's a threat.

You're clearly being sexually harassed. So what are you going to do about it? Go quietly and find yourself a different job; or build a case against him and get him to pay for his lasciviousness, so that he thinks twice about harassing the next person? It's your choice. Just don't be naive and think that this will somehow resolve itself.

lawyer up.

Well, Op, you're obviously still living in the past.

DeeFlask:
What consigns his mother with this now

Truth is, our folly hurts the people closest to us more than it hurts us. Especially when we are obliviously foolish. The worst kind. He's brought his mom into that third quote; there's no mention of a father, so I wouldn't make assumptions by extending sympathy to him as well. It's not an insult.

pocohantas:
What kind of man makes these comments...

1...Because they are useless & all they usually have to offer is that rotten fish between their thighs. No brains, no plans, no achievements, no ambition. Nothing. They are condemned to be eternally subservient & dependent on us thats why they stab each other over us. Worthless creatures.

2...Girls are cheap.
As usual, nothing to offer - just her cunt that's why d dude is allowed to squeeze her breasts like bitterleaf till they slack.
Women will always be our sex things no matter how hard they try.
Now imagine d condition of this girl's pussy.

3...Why?
All these cheap, slack cunted hoes walking around us?
These sex t0ys that will suck a bus conductor's d!ck just to get a free ride.These shameless creatures that will always spread their loose legs to the highest bidder any given hour.
If my mom was that desperate, she woulda sold me.
These ones will in a heartbeat.

4...Beause women are naturally dirty and their pussies are a conducive environment for all sorts of condom-resistant venereal diseases. Especially our slay queens of nowadays.

He is also a tribalist, going about shouting 'Afonja'.
OP, while advising the so called feminist, advise yourself. Don't these your fellow male advisers, see your comments?

Oh my God! Such anger. Such devastating emotional damage to one person. I feel very sorry for him. I feel more sorry for his mother. However, I have just one question........

What's wrong with bus conductors, aren't they just people too?

Lmao! This is hilarious. If Your feminist wife is serious about poisoning you, she would take the antidote before sitting down to eat with you. Have you considered staying single? It would be much safer for you.

Dimples129:


Nairaland and feminism bashing has become 5 and 6

Any excuse like

Babe, I tire o! seriously.

Op, sorry. But this doesn't call for a thread now. Next time, if we are getting it wrong, just pull us aside quietly and correct us. No be fight. We want to improve on our feminism too, so that we can compete favourably with the West. . Bottom-line, feminism is good and it's here for good.

. All these celebrity sperm, dem no dey miss. Any pararam na pikin. Nobody dey even think the 'A' word sef. Claim to fame. It is well.

2dice01:
Am not being sentimental but the latter child looks igbotic


Am partly igbo too

So....what, the child partially looks like you? , I think you should blame that on the origin of the other half of you.

, so Airforce is an Arsenal fan? Him be like Chelsea fan for ma eye.

Sometimes when a girl says she wants to see you upset, she's only looking for honesty. It's impossible for a human being to keep piling up another person's trash without eventually snapping under the pressure. Those who vent regularly, get mad and get done with it. But someone like you, the moment you eventually crack, it would be epic. Not in a good way. And that day, she would realize she done enter one chance. She wants to know what it would be like when you get mad, and if she can handle it.

But then again, she might just be looking for flaws to justify dumping you. You know her better than we do.

LadyGoddiva:
My mistake, not number one, but third in the world. We’re the most homophobic people but just look at this shocking statistic. I reiterate my point, most Nigerian men are downlow gay
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3437529

https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2017/11/hmmm-so-our-nigerian-men-watch-gay-porn-like-that-weve-been-ranked-3rd-in-the-worlds-gay-porn-viewership-index.html

https://www.nairaland.com/3993752/nigeria-ranks-third-gay-porn

http://www.zikoko.com/post/i-just-found-out-nigeria-has-the-third-highest-gay-porn-searches-in-the-world-and-i-am-shook?/

Lol. Nigerians are hypocrites. No be today. In fact, all these anti-gay men should be treated very suspiciously.

BabbanBura:
Lesbian in the making!

Lol. Na you and God follow dey mould me, ba? Make una do sef! Let me know who I'm meant to be, and start living it.

kay29000:
Lol! @ your last sentence. Are you a lez? I have a bi girl friend that has been asking me to hook her up with a bi or lez girl.

Lmao! No, I'm not. It was just an observation.

Congrats to them. Nice abs. I don't understand why the stereotypical gay man keeps himself in good shape (better shape than the average straight man) while the stereotypical lesbian is slovenly. Why do women deserve so little?

You said it already: these convictions aren't made by the courts, but on the streets. They are made because there are too many people (women in particular) who find this a very raw topic which hits a little too close to home. People who're still angry and are looking for scape-goats. Anyone who gets accused of rape is perceived with an anger and disgust that is not limited to the case in point, but with a protracted emotion to encompass the feelings of many abused women and their proxy.

It's like the anger in the streets that leads a mob to lynch a suspected thief even before he's proven guilty. People vent. They're angry and dissatisfied and have been robbed by the system for so long. When they get their hands on anyone (who's easily accessible), they let out their rage.

Like you say, these amount to further social ills. But they are also social reactions that one would normally expect considering the stimuli. You cannot expect to tailor social response with mere appeals, but you can try to eliminate the triggers by dealing decisively with the issues of sexual assault in order to give survivors (political correction for victim. Whatever!) closure and perspective. If people have confidence in the system, they would not misconstrue its lapses as a call to vigilante service, and they can put things in proper perspective. This includes the stringent measures put in place to deter these disgusting acts.

Dear Op, I'm really sorry about the ordeal you suffered as a child. What's even sadder is that you're just one out of a lot too many. But you shouldn't disclose things about yourself on Nairaland that you may still be very sensitive about (even if it is anonymously), because NL is full of immature, insensitive, malicious brats that spew thoughtless comments that may still be able to hurt your fragile self-esteem (a fall-out of abuse). When you do open up about things like these, you should be able to trust the person. In the very least, trust that they won't trivialize the issue or insinuate that you are somehow to blame.

It is understandable that this would plague you now when you're about to tie the knot. We believe that women are to be offered up to men pure and holy. That's why we use words like 'defiled' when sh*t like this happens. You should get that out of your head. Don't think that this diminishes your worth in any way. Life happened. The ugly parts of it. Don't let it define you. If you do decide to tell him (and I'm not saying you should), make sure you know that you are not making an apology.

What I would advise is: talk to a professional, a therapist, who would help you make peace with this and put it firmly behind you. If full disclosure is part of their expert recommendation, then do it. They'll be able to give you better direction. And I say, therapist and not pastor, because (while there are some sound pastors), a lot of them can't see past their personal biases. Whatever you do, I wish you the best, hun.