₦airaland Forum

My gainfully employed, independent _aboki is looking for a wife and you look like you are just right for him

FemiFaniKayode:
who go give am work for McDonalds ?

na Barrack na

crackhaus:
No one here is sponsoring the travel and ceremony costs, yet there have been four pages of advise from a lot of other people.

Is there a reason you singled me out?

cos you wrote a lengthy passionate post. Just wanted to know if you ever thought through the cost implication, before talking about the importance of tradition which only one person ,who is neither the bride or the groom, is so interested in following.

crackhaus:
Waiting to see your point, if there was even any to start with.

point being its easier to give advise like that when you are not the one sponsoring the travelling costs and the ceremony costs.

justwise:
Super mods will pick it up if they see it as FP material

i mean keep it on the first page like this thread "the travelling to canada part 7 thread"

justwise:
First page? How?

the front page of the travel section

roymary:
Na Nigerian Police Church you dey go ni? Cause na dem dey do stop and search

u will not kill me with laughter o lolz

justwise is it possible to keep this on the first page

no i wouldnt. if i find a husband first make i enjoy in peace o

its only fair for the traditional wedding to be held back in Nigeria provided that the person who demands for it caters for the travelling expenses and the ceremony, simple!

crackhaus:
So let me get this straight:

- Your father, an only son, was disowned for marrying your mother.

- Your father, despite being an only son, stood his ground and turned on his own family instead of trying to make peace with them all these years.

- Now you want to get married, your father literally has no kin or hometown to join in celebrations as they give you out in marriage.

- Your intending MIL, who sounds like a very traditional woman, is insisting that you do your traditional marriage in Nigeria.

- Your father knowing that he doesn't have a hometown to go back to, refuses the request.

- Instead of your father making the attempt and explaining to your intending MIL the circumstances, he is still headstrong and refuses to find a common ground.

Truth be told, your MIL-to-be has not made any absurd request.
People living in farther places like Canada and Australia go home or send representatives to stand in for them during the traditional rites, not to mention London that's in our backyard.
So there's nothing absurd in her request, it's the normal thing...probably she may have even investigated your family and is using this to confirm.
Don't think about doing the traditional marriage in your mother's hometown either...your mother is not a divorcee and your father is alive and still married to her.

All I can say to you Miss OluwaChinenyenwa is that this here is a classic case of "the sins of the father shall be visited on the children..."
Your father successfully alienated himself from his own kinsmen, and probably didn't try making amends - now you are stuck in an almost similar predicament as well.

Do not make the same mistake your father did.
If he can't step in to explain to your fiance's people and try to reach a compromise, which it seems is something he would not even do given his antecedents of being headstrong, then you have no business marrying that guy.

I'm sorry to say, but you either choose to forget this marriage and move on...or you appeal to your father to act as a mediator on your behalf in reaching out to your fiance's family so they can come to an understanding.

Your intending MIL is completely and absolutely right in her request (even though her true intentions might be sketchy)... your father is not a European (passport-holding or not), he is a Nigerian who should/must have traceable roots and that is the way we do things.

Cheers!

so how much are u paying for everyone of them to fly back and have a traditional ceremony just to please one person who is neither the bride or the groom?

mrsage:
Watching.... also getting tempted

mr sage mrs age

bebe2:
Hahaha, day was long time ago,

Then it became just remove the data page

Abroad don spoil ooo

haba na i wanted OP to try am na why did u pour sand for my garri

change the pinshures and put your own

he wants to work in MacDonalds for the next 12yrs whats your own?

mrking3:
please get off my mention with your medieval reasoning!!!

simple questions u cant answer? typical average person, jan-dec u chop idomie with half an egg and when you go to someone else's wedding u expect to eat your life away. my reasoning maybe medieval but yours is beyond poor.

mrking3:
. Girl no one is impressing anyone with 400k for both Traditional and white wedding! Thats the average any reasonable person can go! If dude doesnt have money for proper ceremony no one would have nailed him for doing just church blessing which involves the pastore and the couple! It would save him the embarassment of serving people with drums of water. Isnt it shame that he couldnt afford common pure water let alone of mineral. I didnt mention malt, average wine, etc. Even 30k isnt enough to do Registry that involves couple and few witness! Mhen!! Stop defending absurdity pls!!!

is it not the same ordinary water every average person drinks daily? suddenly on wedding day they become allergic to it abi? what will mineral water do? speed up the second coming of Jesus Christ?

Wedon:
I applaud your self confidence in knowing what you want for yourself. Whether this is the right decisions for you to make is left you you (and you alone) to decide.

But please know that as a wife, and mother, you have to give up a lot for your home. Sometimes it all works out perfectly . . . But if you have to chose??

Don't be decieved into thinking that any job is more improtant than your family. Women have been known to give up high paying jobs to be stay at home mums, and I don't consider that a mistake.

Bear this in mind when you eventually settle down and have kids. Your parents and siblings will always find a way, but your children will need you more than anything.

thank u for giving advice for a husband and wife situation, so what kind of advice do u have for a fiance/fiancee situation?

last time i checked sacrifice in a marriage is not only meant for the wife, a husband too has to make a sacrifice that will still keep his wife happy.
so why is it okay to encourage a woman to sacrifice what she loves to do what her husband loves instead, when they should be working more on meeting each other half way so that both parties are happy?
Or are we saying that a woman is better off feeling unfulfilled so long she has a husband?

mrking3:
@OP stop giving us zobo here!! Even 50k can't be enough to celebrate one's birthday let alone of wedding!! You can't tell this honourable house of nairaland that you bought 2 bags of rice which I know is worth 20k, bought packs of fish and other miscellaneous expenses with 30k!! That's trash man! WHAT IS WORTH DOING IS WORTH DOING WELL! You ended up embarrassing yourself before your inlaws and the entire whole village! You should have saved up atleast 200k for an average wedding I wonder why the rush in the first place when you aint even ready!! I'm planning to do my white and Trad this year and I've tried all I can to make an average budget evrything will cost about 400k. That's even the minimum!!! For both traditional Rites which include marriage LIST, Trad, and white wedding. All will be done same day just to save cost. When I saw your thread I got attracted to read how you made it with just 50k but then, that's way below average! Just CLASSLESS! How do you do such lifetime event without serving people with common pure water, mineral and meat? Wow!! Who does that? Shameful bro!!!

is a wedding about 2 people becoming one or its about impressing people who will go and shit your N400,000 or whatever 1hr later?

redcliff:
In as much as this is your truth, i do not doubt it. Lets go a little lower to people who do not have the oppirtunity of having white collar jobs and going to school. The hustlers and the street roamers, the below average foreigners. They are the ones directly affected by this. Until we hear their own part of the story, then and only then can we conclude that SAcans are not xenophobic as the world think they are.

like the OP said a large number of those that are staying in SA legally are safe. its not new news that illegal immigrants anywhere in the world will always suffer prejudice because they always live life on the run.

if u stay in SA legally and u do not go around hustling you are always likely to be treated like a respectable human being.You cannot decide to break the law and expect the same law to protect you.
if u want to feel safe living as an foreigner anywhere else in the world try and do it legally and like the OP you will always feel secure where ever you are.

So this thread is here and people are still making sken sken threads asking for cheap universities in Europe

im just wondering how you are friends with someone like that?

OkpoloEye:
Which time ghanians turn to white people?

the baby looks asian sef

hahn:
He should forget about the money and move on. The father in law has invested the money on starch and banga soup. And some sapele water

i wish he would give me banga soup too

Im a mami water too.












Like my post now and someone will give u $100 tomorrow.

Holatunde007:
How?

you will see when u reach your destination

Tell us whats so urgent please

Orijin101:
No matter how big her yansh is, it can never be as big as Mama Nkechi own, her yansh is the 1st yansh that broke a mortar!

you don kolo finish

You are already walking into the arms of the biggest 419 you have ever seen

So he wanted to open a pharmacy for u to operate, why did he want to live his dreams through you. You have your own goals to achieve too and i feel you have made the best decision

bebe2:
dont mind them o,

wen u enter ur dates and denstination, the ticket money increases drastically.

am sill on the matter.

just bought for my my mum, lagos to machester brititsh airways $901.

still sweating frm that, make i rest first

the very same website gives an option for BA which has prices between £400-£600. If u actually take time to do the rest for yourself you would have seen it