₦airaland Forum

Guy: Babe! I want u 2 follow me on twitter.


Girl: Twitter? (frowning) Pls i dnt like dat restaurant. Lets choose anoda 1.

Dem d mental 4 head? Abeg waiter gv me 1 more bottle #high on Red Label# <Dozing>

Wanna punish a gurl? give her all d makeup she needs..9ce Clothes, Shoes & Jewelries..then ­ Lock Her up in a Room without a MIRROR!

Sicozone: Husband and wife were waiting
at
the bus stop with their eleven
children.
A blind man joins them after a
few minutes.
When the bus arrives, they find
it
overloaded and only the wife
and
the eleven kids are able to fit onto the
bus.
So the husband and the blind
man
decide to walk.
After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the
stick
of the blind man as he taps it on
the sidewalk, and says to him,
"Why
don't you put a piece of rubber at
the end of your stick?
That ticking sound is driving me
crazy."
The blind man replies,
"If you would've put a rubber at the
end of your STICK,
we'd be riding the bus..! so shut
tup !!...

Lolz@whc stick na #winks#

...Afta an accident, an eye witness revealed dat '12 people & 4 Aboki were involved' is Aboki nt a human being..? Lol

Although Wizkid’s exit from Banky W’s Empire Mates Entertainment has not attracted the kind of controversy that greeted D’banj’s separation from Don Jazzy, he seems to be determined to chart a new course for himself.
Wizkid indicated in a recent tweet on his Twitter handle that he has pitched his tent with a new records label known as Star Boy Entertainment.
He has not come out directly to claim ownership of the label, but it is widely speculated that it belongs to him.
http://www.punchng.com/entertainment/arts-life/wizkid-finally-dumps-banky-w-starts-new-label/

President Goodluck Jonathan has urged the corps members who concluded their mandatory one-year service on Thursday to focus on self reliance and wealth creation as against looking for white collar jobs.
Jonathan stated this in a speech read on his behalf at the Passing-out ceremony of the 2012 Batch ‘A’ Corps members in Akure by the Commissioner for Youths andSports Development in Ondo State, Alhaji Yekini Olanipekun, who represented Governor Olusegun Mimiko on the occasion.
The President noted that his administration deliberately introduced skills acquisition programmes for corps members in order to make them self employed.
He observed with satisfaction that the programme was widely embraced by the corps members and had recorded appreciable success.
He said, “The present administration remains focused on youth empowerment, which will be pursued using the platforms of the Sure-P; You Win and other programmes.
“I therefore implore you to cooperate and support this administration to reduce the current level of unemployment.”
Starting from this year, Jonathan said the Federal Government, under an arrangement with the United Nations Development Programme, would recruit youngprofessionals that would work on a variety of UN programmes.
The NYSC Coordinator in the state, Mr. Isiaka Kuoye, also advised the out-going corps members to learn a skill and bring something positive out of it in order to be independent instead of depending on their parents.
He said 31 corps members with cases of indiscipline would not be discharged along with their colleagues and would face varying degrees of sanctions as prescribed by the NYSC Act.
He also said 12 out of the 1,946 corps members, who had proved themselves to be worthy ambassadors, shall receive awards and commendation from the agency.
Meanwhile, 10 corps members posted to Ogun State are to repeat their service year for contravening the rules and regulation of the scheme.
Also, 14 other corps members have their service year extended for between two and four months.
The state NYSC Director, Mrs. Theresa Anosike, said this in her remark during the passing-out parade of the Batch A corps members posted to the state.
Anosike added that out of the 3,715 corps members deployed in the state, 3, 491 were able to successfully complete their service year.
The Ogun NYSC director stated that the 24 errant corps members were punished for various acts of infringement on the rules and regulations of the scheme, including absenteeism, absconding and insubordination.
Anosike also said that three of the Corps members would be honoured with the state award while five others were awarded commendation certificates for exemplary performance during the service year.
Governor Ibikunle Amosun, in hisaddress, read by the Special Adviser on Youth and Sports, Mr. Segun Adesanya, urged the corps members to be worthy ambassadors of the scheme.
http://www.punchng.com/news/jonathan-preaches-self-reliance-to-corps-members/

OP! Re u sick on d head? WTF is Val, n why shld u expect smtin on ur so calld Val's day?

ZACHIE: I wonder

Where you come from, any introspection is the mark of lunacy? ? ?

i wonder what stuff you are made of.

Praying in diff. tongues <delivering u 4rm 10 marine spirits>

vanstanzy: This topic was posted in the religion section yesterday morning and only made it out to the FP this late morning. Surely thats something to complain about?

Ok

ZACHIE: Why do they make things pertaining to the end of time difficult to read and understand?

i have been wondering over this for a very long time.

Stop wondering b4 u bcom a Lunatic. Cos evrytin pertaining religion is mysterious.

vanstanzy: This a great piece, wonder why its not on the front page.

Is dis a Back Page?

ROSSIKE: The key is what happens after they lose the national election? Will they disband? That's the true measure of their seriousness.

D will surely disband. Cos dat time d wil start blaming each oda.

If 2 say Pope na African, hmmm! Em 4 no gree resign ooo

Governors who are members of the new All Progressive Congress (APC) party, say they will position and pride themselves as social democrats, with free education astheir leading programme.
The 10 governors, who come from the former All Progressive Grand Alliance, the Action Congress of Nigeria, All Nigeria Peoples Party and the Congress for Progressive Change, met in Abuja today where they rolled outtheir programmes under the yet-to-be registered APC.
There are 11 opposition governors in Nigeria and all of them, except the Governor of Anambra State, Mr. Peter Obi, werepresent.
They are: the Governor Adams Oshiomhole (Edo), (Rochas Okorocha (Imo), Abiola Ajimobi (Oyo), Kayode Fayemi (Ekiti), Babatunde Fashola (Lagos), Rauf Aregbesola (Osun), Rauf Aregbesola(Osun), Tanko Almakura (Nasarawa), Ibikunle Amosun (Ogun), Ibrahim Geidam (Yobe) and Abdulaziz Yari (Zamfara).
Almakura, who spoke on behalf ofthe governors, said that the programme priorities in the new party will be agricultural development, jobs creation, free education, affordable healthcare, infrastructural development, adequate power supply, eradication of poverty and corruption, and rapid technological advancement and industrialisation.
“We shall pride ourselves as socialdemocrats that are committed to organise our society based on thevalues of justice for all and individual freedom where everyone’s basic needs are fulfilled,” he said.
He also announced the formation of Zonal Contact and Mobilisation Committees, which are headed by six of their members.
Almakura himself will head that ofNorth-Central; Fayemi, South-West;Yari, North-West; Okorocha, South-East; Geidam, North-East; and Oshiomhole, South-South.
Also speaking with reporters, Oshiomhole underlined his commitment to the merger. “I amfully convinced about the need forthis merger,” he declared. “There is no question about my conviction and my commitment tothe merger.”
Okorocha also insisted that although there are problems in his party, APGA, the party was committed to the merger.
“Let me say that APGA is in the merger talks. We have our little challenges and we are just trying to sort out about who are the APGA-APGA and who are the APGA-PDP.
“But I can tell you that the APGA-APGA (the real APGA) is already in the merger talks.”
http://saharareporters.com/news-page/apc-governors-implement-free-education-okorocha-confirms-%E2%80%98real-apga%E2%80%99-part-merger

President Goodluck Jonathan on Tuesday commended Pope Benedict XVI for displaying what he called exemplary wisdom and courage by stepping down from his position as a result of old age.
In a statement by his Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, Dr. Reuben Abati, the President prayed that the College of Cardinals would be able to elect aworthy successor to the retiring Pope.
He wished him a peaceful retirement.
The statement read, “President Goodluck Jonathan applauds the exemplary wisdom and courage shown yesterday (Monday) by Pope Benedict XVI in his decisionto voluntarily relinquish the Papacy because of his advanced age and growing inability to keep up with the physical and mental demands of the office.
“On behalf of himself, the FederalGovernment and people of Nigeria, President Jonathan wishes the Pope a very peaceful and restful retirement at the end of this month.
“The President trusts that even inretirement, Pope Benedict XVI will continue to contribute to the spiritual well-being of the world in every possible way and that hewill continue to offer prayers to God Almighty for global justice, equity, peace and progress.
“He prays that as they prepare to assemble in the Vatican to elect anew Pope, God Almighty will grant members of the College of Cardinals the wisdom and divine insight they will require to bring forth a worthy successor to PopeBenedict XVI who will build on the outgoing Pontiff’s commendable achievements as head of the Worldwide Catholic Church.”
Meanwhile, the Catholic Bishop ofEkiti Diocese, Most Rev. Felix Ajakaye, has advised Nigerian leaders to emulate the action of Pope Benedict XVI, who resignedfrom his position due to old age.
Ajakaye said this in Ado Ekiti on Tuesday while speaking with journalists.
He said, “It is lessons to all of us that we should let go when we know that we cannot continue. He has said that due to old age he could not continue with the rigours of coping with the demands of office and old age. So, having studied himself, he decided to take a noble action.
“His spirit is willing but his body is weak in carrying on with the demands of office. He became the Pope at 78, unlike the former Pope John Pall ll, who ascended the papacy at 58, Pope Benedict will turn 86 years later this year.”
According to Ajakaye, the insinuation being generated by the Pope’s plan was informed by ignorance knowledge about the church’s teachings and doctrine.
The bishop dismissed insinuation that the Pope’s planned resignation would cause crisis, saying the church had since the beginning put in place a succession arrangement on how a new Popes are elected by the College of Cardinals.
http://www.punchng.com/news/jonathan-lauds-pope-for-voluntarily-relinquishing-power/

etudaddy: Buy her flower and hang ur 2 balls (akpa amu) on top.

Lwkmd4h! I don die 4 laf oo

JORAF: fasting and praying

And bounding luv demons

.

5yrs xperience? Mtchewww

.

More 2 follow:

WTF is dis Valentine sef?

Good People, Great Nation

Good People, Great Nation

Good People, Great Nation

abdul23: shut up ur mouth and stop spewing gibberish.we are yet to recover 4rm d harm christianity did 2 dis world.Islam has come to stay and will remain till judgement day.

Biaaa nwa! 4rm whc hole did u crawl out? It must b 4rm Islamic hole.

TeaParty: 1st

Pls try again leta

brownlord: we guys love surprises, my advise is for you to surprise ur boy friend this valentine....and introduce him to your real boy friend or his rivals

Lmcao

The Super Eagles coach has told Goal.comthat his future as head coach remains unclear and he could be on his way out even if his side win the Africa Cup of Nations
Feb 8, 2013 3:15:00 PM
Nigeria coach Stephen Keshi EXCLUSIVE
By Lunga Ntuli
Stephen Keshi has revealed to Goal.com that he is happy to pack his bags and quit if he is not wanted by Nigeria , despite having led the side to the Africa Cup of Nations final.
The Super Eagles coach came in for a lot of criticism about his locally-based selection policy and slow start in South Africa, but his decisions will be hailed as a master stroke if Nigeria beat Burkina Faso in the final on Sunday.
"It is my home country, and it feelsgreat to seeing Nigeria advance tothe final after such a long time," Keshi told Goal.com.
"I would love to continue with the job, but again, if it doesn’t happen,I don’t really care. I am a professional coach and I will pack my bags and leave."
The veteran coach, who also won the Afcon cup in 1994 with Nigeria, said he is not stressed about what people think about him, but that he will make sure that he plays the players that he feels are mentally fit and hungry toperform.
"In my side there are no stars. I opted to go with players who are going to respect me, listen to me and who are mentally fit, because that is what wins matches, not bignames," he said.
Keshi said he would love to continue with the job after the Afcon, but that will depend on who is in charge of football in Nigeria.
"I don’t owe anyone any explanation, and I am not here to please anyone. If people like me then that's good but if they don’t, I don’t care. I am here to offer my services because I care about my country," said Keshi.
"When you have players that get along with each other and know that no one is a star then you are on the right track.
"Yes, there is still a lot of work to be done but I am proud of the progress that we have made so far."
http://m.goal.com/x/en-ng/news/3736369

Oh! Wht a DREAM