₦airaland Forum

I think say na MMM sef

For starters I doubt empty hen will give you 76GB for said amount. Bunch of capitalists.

eeh, am I supposed to answer in the comments section?

You must be really clever to act so stupid all the time. You must be really clever to act so stupid all the time.

I have a confession to make that might sound shocking to you.
I don’t actually like my girlfriend.
That’s right, I said it, and boy does it feel good to finally get that off my chest. Don’t get me wrong, she’s an incredible girl; smart, funny, hygienic, feminine, Caucasian, devoted to Christ. I love taking her out to dinner, and to see the latest alternative Christian contemporary bands, and I always tell her how beautiful she is. I can’t remember the last time I was mad at her for more than 5 minutes, and I only laid my hands on her once. But I don’t like her at all. Not one bit. In fact, there’s nothing I like about her.
Now I know what you’re probably thinking right about now: “What kind of terrible person would date someone without even liking them? Are you mentally crazy? Have you lost your marbles?! Do you have a few screws loose up there buddy?!? WHAT’S YOUR FREQUENCY?!?” Well, once you read the explanation to my thought process in just a few more paragraphs, you’ll see that there’s actually a pretty big twist here.
But first, let me tell you a little bit about my girlfriend. I first met Chelsey two years ago when I was just a sophomore in high school. I was in a bad place spiritually. For as long as I could remember, I had struggled with an addiction to masturbation. It seemed I couldn’t go five minutes without having to spill my seed somewhere, and boy, did I ever… in the bio lab of my high school, in the back of the bus, in the employee restroom at Cold Stone Creamery. There wasn’t a single square foot of my town that had not been coated in my seminal emissions. I had also started experimenting with dangerous drugs like cigarettes and alcoholic energy drinks, and these were taking a toll on my personal well-being.
It was around this time that my friend P.J. invited me to attend his youth group service. “No way bro,” I protested, “Church is for geeks and nerds.” But P.J. always seemed like a pretty happy guy, and I wanted to know the secret to his happiness. So I went anyway. At the youth group, I listened to a bunch of beautiful testimonies from kids just like me. Kids who were addicted to masturbation and most importantly, kids who love to play Guitar Hero!
After the service, I was approached by a beautiful girl with jet black hair. She introduced herself as Chelsey and asked me why I came to the youth group. I blushed and told her about my addiction. That’s when she shared a line of scripture with me that completely changed the way I think.
Job 31:11 – “The heart of lust is so wicked, for lust is a shameful sin.”
“I never thought about it that way before,” I said.
“That’s the cool thing about The Bible,” she said, “It’s like this old book, but it has a lot of really smart stuff in it. Now come on, that half-pipe isn’t gonna skate itself!”

Two years later and we’re still together. But the truth remains, I don’t like my girlfriend. Not at all. I’m serious. I don’t like her. Let that statement really sink in for a second. I’m going to say it one more time and then we’ll do the reveal. I don’t like my girlfriend.
…I LOVE her!
You see what I did there? The entire time you were under the impression that I didn’t like my girlfriend, only for it to be revealed in the end that what I meant was that I love her. Get it? I don’t like her. I love her! Pretty clever, huh? Oh man, you should have seen yourself! You were all like “what in the darn-heck is this guy talking about over here?! It sounds like he likes her, but he keeps saying he doesn’t like her. What exactly am I missing here?! I mean, this just does not compute!”
All joking aside, love is a beautiful thing that should be taken seriously.

culled from Andrew Costa.

Here is what's up nairalanders, how about you talk your girl/guy out on a date and say all the nice things about her saying you don't like her and later say it's actually love. At your own discretion though!.

MrWhaley:
What kind of misleading TITLE is this??

comment so funny as its what I thought. I had to on my data to specifically like it. not surprised likes moved from 12 to 45

PS
I open the thread since yesterday on multiple tabs it was one of them. Again.... 1000likes

AniTech:
I'm something, i want to buy 9 iPhone 7s and i don't want to pay, what am I?

Inoh

08121048233

BornMarch15:
TB Joshua don talk say she go win.
So I STAND WITH TB JOSHUA

How far. How market. Trump wins.

Candy crush is a hell of an addictive game for those who really enjoy it. So many levels and still counting. Been playing it for almost two years now.

Maybe I will create a candy crush saga Facebook page later to share how we can mutually help each other.

To the topic, what level are you now on candy crush . Am in level 2032, that's right two thousand and thirty currently. I believe am the highest in the whole of Nigeria. Prof me wrong, here is a screen.

So what level are you.
It's my birthday oo, show me love.

So every body returning to their former club is now being welcomed FOURmally....#Bravo #Guardiola #VanPersie and now #Mourinho

Itz Alright #whoiznxt
Hope you caught the word play

qualityovenbake:
Why are the police hiding his identity? His name and nationality should be disclose to the public immediately.
If it's a Nigerian that get involve in this kind of despicable crime abroad, they will parade and happily let the whole world know his/her nationality.

... And it will hit NL front page and some will click only to check his tribe

Aaaarh, Kieffer Sutherland, the slayer and protector of Presidents

The topic is actually a quote from the minister today in Church. He talked on a number of topics but this one really got me. This is so because I am what I call a Logician. Yeah, to me something is true because it follows logic but once a better logic comes up to explain that phenomenon the latter becomes true while the former is discarded. That's for another day anyway.

To the topic. The minister today gave 'logical' reasons why we should not sing certain songs and it also reminded me of one Pastor Chris said once in his sermon on radio. I can't really remember his reasons but he said we should stop singing
... LORD LIFT ME UP AND LET
AND LET ME STAND
HIGH ABOVE STABLE LAND
LORD PLANT MY FEET ON HIGHER GROUND!
Think he said we are already on higher ground so we should not ask for another. Like I said I can't remember.

To that of today, the minister Bishop Murphy in Uyo said we should stop singing
... THESE ARE THE DAYS OF ELIJAH/MOSES
According to him " we are actually in the days of THE HOLY SPIRIT NOT ELIJAH". I don't know, the house can come up with a better logic to dispel this one

To the one that really got me, he continued in his sermon that we should stop singing:
...JESUS NA THE only SON OF GOD OOO!
So if Jesus na the only son of God, born again Christian men no be sons of God?
Being an artist myself and a very lazy one at that I shaperdly( autocorrect what do you mean by sharply, shey e sweet for ear? )...remixed it but could not meet the minister later for his opinion on it.
So now the song go be;
JESUS NA THE begotten SON OF GOD OOO!!!... Airforce1 take it from here( u fit switch to gospel if the other gig no click all na hustle na

Ok. Can the house add other songs they know does not sound alright not in melody oo but content. Did you find it yourself or you heard /read it. Pls if it's the latter reference accordingly no buharagiasm


#love is evol spell it backwards I will show you!

I know am not the first to say this and will probably not be the last, but for the first time I actually mean it. What kinda country are we in. It's really a zoo down here. People are suffering and all and yet nothing is done simply because of the generational caused mentality of somehow somehow 'e go better'.

The rich just sit back and watch us struggle and do next to nothing about it. As long as their security and life is not threatened, they don't really care. How do they even put the poor in their place?, Nothing but the carrot and stick approach. And this carrot is aways dangled bu the politicians during elections.

Speaking of politicians, I read of the legislature who slept in the state House, what are his constituents doing to reprimand him?. What of other ineffectual leaders like the governors, state representatives and even the president. Many are complaining of how they are not just good enough and can't wait till 2019 to change them. My question is, must we wait till 2019?. Are there no constitutional ways we as a people can use to remove them from public office say through a vote of no confidence.

Must we give them all the time to restrategize before 2019 and appear to come out clean only to enrich themselves after reelection, what kinda country is this.

A sitting president will blame former presidents of failing to save for the rainy days only to engage in obnoxious expenditure when it's not only raining but hail and storm. Case in point excessive merrygo round around the world. One leader blames the other for failure but they all meet during FEC and I wonder if failure and "success" ever mix.

To the last straw that broke the camel's back, call it final nail to the coffin. I watched with disgust the action of youths who are supposed leaders of tomorrow protest the assumed witch hunting of former first lady, Dame Patience. I don't know what kinda hard work she will be doing to have $5Million sitting in her account. Not to talk of other accounts.

Now this is just one of the few that has come to light, what of others. Of other wives not to talk of leaders of this zoo that has not come to light. Imagine how our collective wealth sits in their various foreign and local accounts and as every typical Nigerian will be the first to sympathize with the poor in the land when they know they have contributed directly and indirectly to their poverty.

My thoughts are not organized but I hope my message gets across. Let's stop the talk and do the walk. Action the say speaks louder than words.

From Abacha's loot.



Oh wait, Abacha never stole anything

We are screwed

Op whatever happened to summary

Special Adviser to the president on thuggery affairs

If this is true somebody else will have to take the fall... that's if it does not go the same way as Haliburton

But if you had an interview with your governor's aide today. Somehow am sure you will arrive there well dressed and early. How people set priorities eeeh.




YOU SEE YOUR LIFE!

You sure can do business without cheating. No matter the type of business. Remember Jesus reprimanded Jews who made false measures just to get undue gain. If you use the Bible teachings and your Christian conscious as your moral compass you will not need to cheat.

Religion is the opium of the masses indeed...

Na Karl Marx talk am before una o accuse me of Buhagairism

PaperLace:
lols.
You got me there.
One time I was driving this modest car, and this cute SUV sped past me...it was really cute_i wished it were mine.

So, I had to chase it, caught up with it, blocked it... beat up the owner, took his cash, the cute SUV too _ then sped off.
That was actually in GTA San Andreas.
I wish shii like that happens in reality...

Lier. Na which SUV really fine for San Andreas. If to say you say sports car I for believe. Huntley, Rancher, Landstalker all na wash.

I instinctively turned my phone upside down before reading the write up though I saw the picture. I can therefore swaer that no, I did not fall for that

Na to tell them say I dy plan to engage her. Or wetin funny think.

Call me daft but I am not understanding

johnydon22:
Hahahaha this is wicked !!! i understand why he was overwhelmed by the shame but in God's name man there were many lies you could have told at least save face..

E.G " My phone was stolen and they wanted to use it to taint my image, the devil is at work against the man of God"

Religious people are very gullible, 90% would believe it the rest can go to hell if they don't want to.

Plagiarism sighted you went to my brain and took this out word for word without even referencing me

ANIEXTY:
Question for genius

.Heard this question on a radio (atlantic f.m) programe yesterday
:"Name something that is round at both sides but high in the middle"
.
i and all the people around tried to get d answer but nobody could.
.
.NOTE: i know ur mind has gone far, but its not a d!ck,..
.
.so what is the answer ?

Funnel

For a start I chew gums a lot no thanks to my mentor Alex Ferguson , however my question is what's with the culture of people chewing gum and instead of finding a proper place to dispose it. They instead find it easy to stick it underneath chairs, desk, pews, tables, et al.

For instance, a class was really boring today so to keep my self busy and not sleep I just ran my hands underneath the pews only to find a substantial amount of gums. Funny enough, the same scenario played out today during evening mass. People dy chew gum for church too. Why can't the gum be disposed of properly?.

Bolustic:
Multinationals are taking over our economy and we are happy. Shoprite, SPAR are foreign companies who will repatriate their profits to their home states.

The government need to put restrictions on what MNCs can do in Nigeria, that's what we call ECONOMIC NATIONALISM. We need to look inwards.

I'm sure Just Rite and other Nigerian stores wouldn't have gotten publicities like this.

Will not be surprised if you read political science or any thing similar. These MNCs have been sucking us dry since... worst still we celebrate it like good. This is purely development without growth

How come nobody mentioned...MOVE BITCH GET AW DA WAY BY LUDACHRIS