₦airaland Forum

ehay:
[color=#006600][/color]So your saying women and your daughters should accept domestic violence and being treated like a slave,and cheating. Why not ask men to treat their wives right so they don't walk away. And please men in Nigeria do not lose anything in today's divorce only the women do.

you are fully entitled to your opinion....

thesicilian:
She should go and sit down somewhere. The record that has been on ground for years, as soon as her fellow Nigerian breaks it that is the particular one she wants to go for. Of all the hundreds of thousands of records to attempt! The one who broke the record has not even received the official award yet and you're already trying to topple her. Just like that employee that would secretly go and try convince the boss that she deserves a promotion more than a fellow co-worker, instead of just applying for her own promotion.

Banter1:
Her timing is wrong.

Gentew:
This is not about doing better........ This is purely enemy of progress. This girl should have postponed her madness at least for a year before breaking the record.

so let me get this straight.... you are saying that, because sista Hilda went for the record and got it, NO NIGERIAN person should ever try it again (even if they are obviously better than her, like the above chef)?!?

are you people for real?!?

Danisaint112:
I don't also support it. I usually suggest meeting in an open place, probably a restaurant.
But again circumstances must have led to that. The girl refusing his proposal is a clear sign she didn't go their with such intention and believes who she is meeting must be responsible.

The guy is just a playboy same with everyone who invite women to there house for exploitation

true, the dude was only looking for some cheap sex, but why wouldnt he when cheap women gladly go to total strangers homes on the 1st date?

Onyiiobi7735:
Trump is really facing a lot of legal woes,but despite that, he's still keen on contesting for 2024 US presidency.
His political foes would count on his legal woes to pull him back from the presidential race,but there's a likelihood he may scale through.

thats because that man has a LOT OF SUPPORT out there, and he might win the presidential electionagain. he is still the favourite to win the republican presidential primaries.

i really dont understand why people are mad at this girl.... as if she owe anyone anything. anyone who think they can do better than sista Hilda, then let them try. no big deal! why shouldnt she show the whole world that she is better than somebody?!

CONGRATS TO THIS LADY JOR!

CuriousStudent:
I am pro-life. But I am worried why a man's say or opinion should be included since she bears the brunt of pregnancy. On this forum I have seen you repeat the " my body my choice" mantra used to hold single moms accountable. Now that she is living up to that mantra,why is she still blamed?

Take a side please. If a woman will take the praise/ shame of pregnancy ALONE, then she should also take the decision of pregnancy ALONE.

If you want men decisions to be considered concerning keeping or removing pregnancy,they should also be considered when the praise/shame associated with the pregnancy plays out.

If the marriage fails to occurs or he becomes a deadbeat or anything and she comes out crying, you all will say "why did YOU..." and remind us how women are the gatekeepers ofpregnancy and responsibility lies on her shoulders ( you will not include the man). You why should he be included in decision making alone and not blame taking?


The Op fiancee is only protecting her interest and heeding to the advice you all dish out to women. protect themselves and their interest from the cold street out there

again, there is a HUGE DIFFERENCE here....
A) she aint virgin mary.... so she made that child with someone and therefore the two of them are both responsible for that. i believe that this the HYPOCRISY of pregnancies....because women can chooose to force a man to be a father AGAINST HIS WILL, but if a man wants to do the exact same thing to a woman, y'all are up in arms. whats good for goose is good for gander!

B) that child is technically both theirs, so they technically should decide together on what to do with that baby....and although i fully understand that the last say belongs to the mother, a respectful/caring person would sit down with you and discuss this issue maturely (rather than just say NO and walking away to abort behind your back).

C) i aint blaming her for having an abortion, i am blaming her for the WAY she had an abortion, while not even listening to what this man had to say, and/or how he felt about it.

FINALLY, i dont make rules on the stigma that some single mother carry in Nigeria/Africa... i just follow them.

brotha OLAADEGBU must be crying like a baby....and its just the beginning!

much more lawsuits to come against his idol.

yeye HE-diot....
today many of these loose women are having a procedure called Hymenorrhaphy or Hymenoplasty in order to bleed like a virgin on their wedding night, even though that woman may be the biggest slut in town.

ABEG BROS, WAKE THE FUKC UP!

another one that would soon be JEJELY HAKIMIFIED

CuriousStudent:
The fact you all are demonizing her because his consent was not given is the problem. And not because abortion is wrong
Are you pro-life, or you are pro-life when the man consents to it?

The fickle nature of Nigerian men morality is displayed once more. Ricocheting from acting "pro-life/ calling abortion moral decadence", to excusing abortion "when the man permits it" and finally screaming "why didn't you do abortion" to a woman complaining about her deadbeat baby daddy.

If she kept the baby and they didn't end up marrying this December,what explanation will she give to your puritan folks that will be accepted?

I pity any soul that will pander to the "exhortation","advices", "criticisms" of the male gender and not put their self interest first

i believe in abortion hands down, and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with having an abortion..... and as much as the last say on the issue falls on the mother's hand, there needs to be a mature discussion between the couple about it, rather than ignoring what you partner has to say, and just going to do it on your own (as if this woman was single). thats not only INSENSITIVE/SELFISH but also DISRESPECTFUL and VERY RUDE!

FOOLISH MAN 101
that yeye fool of a husband still doesnt understand that HE IS THE ONE TO BLAME FOR HAVING ONLY DAUGHTERS!!!

BIOLOGY 101:
women only carry X chromosome while men carry X or Y chromosome... Men determine the sex of a baby depending on whether their sperm is carrying an X or Y chromosome. A man's X chromosome combines with the mother's X chromosome makes a baby girl (XX) and a man's Y chromosome with mama's X chromosome will make a baby boy (XY)

udofia234:
Is it every man that want to sex a lady at the first time? Abeg boss not all men

Danisaint112:
Imagine this was your sister man come on.
Would you even take such girl serious for marriage? We look for decent girls to marry but still pressurize some into acting/being bad.
I applaud the girl for what she did. To me any girl that have sex with you on first date is a prostitute. Don't get it mixed up.
We should encourage good behaviour in our society.

sadly, if this was my sister i will biatch slap her to reset her brain, as no decent woman goes to a stranger's place on the 1st date.... ANY WOMAN who does that, is a no good of a woman, whether she fukced or not (and whether she is my sista or anyone else)!

another YEYE CHARLATAN IN ROBE spotted!

not the same thing at all... ONE is a relationship, the other is a TRANSACTION!

BTW...

another SHE-diot spotted!!!!
what was this fool thinking was gonna happen at this man's house (if not sex)?!

YEYE FOOL....she should have poured the hot water on her h0rny bastard of a husband!

DeAdvokate:
Instead of calling for peace, they are sending more armours

the western allies are not in this for peace....

Tallesty1:
We already love ourselves enough, anybody telling you otherwise is not being honest. Except in a case of mental or psychological problems, humans have self love. It comes naturally. Any person that gives out all his property in act selflessness or starts treating himself poorly[as some depressed people do] needs help, but down here, you are either mad or you are okay. Nobody that is all round okay loves anybody more than himself, folks commit suicide because they love themselves.
We genuinely love ourselves already bro.
When you start prioritizing self love cum self care, you are simply rationalizing selfishness.

you must be bipolar....1st you say that self love (aka selfishness and/or what makes them feel right and what benefits them, without considering the needs of others) is the reason for divorce today.... and when i thereafter replied that "people need to love themselves before they can remotely think of being good parent who love their family"... you now gave me the above answer. so which one is it sir, because you certainly are saying the complete opposite now?!?!?! are you ok?!

sadly, Nigerian society/culture is very simple on this issue, you are a nobody unless you are married, therefore you can love yourself all you want, society will look down on you because you aint married. these unmarried people would feel inferior to others because they aint married, thus why they cant fully love themselves. this is the kind of people that the Nigerian society/culture is breeding.... but the reality is that, before you enter any marriage, you need to fully love yourself FIRST, something that a person that is viewed by the Nigerian society as a FAILURE cant do.

Which identity fah? Professional Identity? What would they have been? hunter, wine tapper? wrestler? warrior?
Being the wife of one these men was a big enough identity back then.

you see, the above is exactly what i am talking about... back in the days these women were happy being somebody's wife (aka her identity is irrelevant as she is just known as someone's wife), while women today want to be somebody just as their husbands are. they want to be called by THEIR names (and not as someone's wife); they want to be valued by what they have achieved in life (not just as someone's wife); they want to be able to "be somebody" without being automatically attached as someone"wife. do you see the difference?!

When civilization got to them, women were not left behind. Women have always been will forever continue to be the breadwinner in many homes and you will not hear this outside. Don't say it is because they never had money, they have always been able to cater for themselves and their children.Who force fed them this sh1t?

you are certainly lying to your own self if you want to deny that Nigerian women today are viewed by the society as failure, unless they are married... thus why the majority dont care that a woman is successful; thus why people today still look at women like Linda or Genevieve and shamefully tell them to "GO AND FIND HUSBAND O"

You are making it seem like it is only women that experience this unhappiness, disrespect and abuse in marriage.

NO, both men and women suffer the above in marriage.... but a man's solution could be to find second wife or mistress before remotely thinking of divorce, while a wife would have only one option....DIVORCE.

Unhappiness? Do you know that a woman making more money than her husband will make her unhappy? Should she divorce then? Well some do, don't make it seem like when successful women leave, it is because of the man. There is been a change in our value system, society has made it seem like more is better and contentment is a myth so some women go for more and more. A obese woman is likely to file for divorce after losing weight.

the majority of women who leave/disrespect their husband the minute they start making more money than him, are women who never loved that husband to begin with. these are women who were just looking for a free ride with someone that was willing to offer them a better lifestyle.REMEMBER, as i told you earlier, LOVE is very important in marriage.

What women get after divorce in western world is enough reason to file for divorce.
Marriage back then was for a defined purpose, I provide for you and you raise my kids. That simple.

again, the rise in divorces in the west is completely different than the rise of divorces in Africa. these are two different culture/society that shouldnt be mixed.

People marry for shitty reasons now. the sex too hot damn, let's get married. People don't even vet their partners, s/he is nice to me, I wanna marry him/her. Forgetting that a person being nice to you doesn't maen the person is a nice. What feels good is always good.
Back then, men became men before marriage, now kids are marrying kids

you are now confirming the points B, C and D that i made in my intial post (that you earlier contested, lol)

How is a woman standing proudly beside her husband a problem? Not where I come from because over here we dey use our wives show off.

as much as many women (who got nothing to bring to the table) would love to be a TROPHY WIFE, the reality is that many would rather be valued AS AN INDIVIDUAL WITH THEIR PERSONAL LIFE ACHIEVEMENTS. back in the days, being somebody's wife was the koko, but today, unless you are the wife of Dangote/Ned Nwoko/Davido etc, you are a nobody that people wouldnt talk about. the only reason people would talk about someone's wife is if she has achieved things on a personal level

Wanting to make family decision is not the same as being equal to a man. People who think like that are sick. Women make family decisions all the time, only a sick man will see a problem there. Make I ask my wife not be folk tales.

again, in NIgeria, most men believe they are the HEAD OF THE FAMILY, thus why most believe that all family decision must be taken by that man (i wont even talk about religion who is MORE FIERCE on this subject). so if/when you have a wife that now wants to make the important decisions for the family too, it doesnt go so well [b]BECAUSE MAJORITY WOULD BELIEVE THAT THIS WIFE WANTS TO GO AGAINST THAT MAN'S AUTHORITY. there can only be one pilot in that marriage "boat", and sadly, majority of the time, men want that job for themselves, even if they make less money than wifey. thus why, many women in such marriage sometimes want to use their money advantage to try to have authority in marriage, and it leads to divorce.

A woman who submits to a sane husband makes most of the family decisions.

LOL, the only decision a sane African husband would let a wife take, are in the kitchen. the minute that decision is against what that man wants for the family, then it will be his decision that matters.

Fikemia:
Your view is lopsided because all you see is what women are doing wrong. Is marriage all about the women? Your kind of reasoning is another reason why divorce rate is high. Add it to your list.

ehay:
[/color]Okayyooo, nothing about men cheating on their wife's and topping the act with an STI/STD ? It's alright.

yes i certainly believe that the majority of divorces today are because of women... WOMEN who entered these marriages for the wrong reasons and thereafter not wanting any longer. WOMEN today not accepting to be treated like slaves and decide to walk away; WOMEN not wanting to accept what women in the past were accepting; WOMEN who are disrespected/abused and walk away.

only a very small percentage of divorces in Nigeria/Africa are instigated by men. the reality is that these men would rather cheat and/or be miserable than divorce BECAUSE NIGERIAN/AFRICAN MEN HAVE THE MOST TO LOSE IN TODAY'S DIVORCE

A SIN IS A SIN, whether wearing condom or not... do you think that cheating would be "better" because that person wore a condom?!

US Uber driver yeyebrity...

Tallesty1:
[font=garamond]Some of your points are merely circulating ideas that sound right and are assumed to be true, but surprisingly, they are not.
Starting with point A, there has never been a time in the history of humanity where women in Nigeria, for instance, were jobless. Even when men were primarily engaged in farming, wine tapping, and similar activities, women were actively involved in farming and trading.

as much as some of these women had little hustle back in the days, they certainly didnt make enough money to be on their own and sustain their children. today, many of these women have proper jobs that can sustain an entire family....

Your point B is even more ridiculous. It is highly unlikely to find African countries listed among the top 20 countries with the highest divorce rates. Marriages tend to endure in Africa due to cultural and religious influences. No white woman anywhere could endure the challenges that someone like Kabiru's mother faces. No white woman could remain married solely because of her faith, her pastor, her church or her tradition as Chioma's mother does, and so on.

the subject of this conversation certainly aint "what African women can endure that white women cant"....thus i couldnt care less about what white women can endure in marriage and instead i am merely telling you why the rate of divorce in Nigeria/Africa is higher today than in the past. MARRIAGE IN NIGERIA IS A DO OR DIE MISSION, BECAUSE MARRIAGE IN NIGERIAN/AFRICAN SOCIETY IS SYNONYMOUS WITH HAPPINESS (even if these people are miserable). sadly, many people who got pressured into these "sometimes" miserable marriage, realize after marriage that they aint happy, and subsequently, divorce sharp sharp. in the past, the stigma/shame of being divorced would keep these miserable people married forever, but not today. today divorce is "glamorized" and divorced women are flaunting their newfound freedom status everywhere, as if they won the lottery!

There are several reasons for the high divorce rate today, and one of them is selfishness, which is now often referred to as self-love. People are primarily focused on what makes them feel right and what benefits them, without considering the needs of others. Ask a woman what a real man is and watch how the qualities of a real man that she will list will revolve around serving her needs.

i beg to differ.... a person need to love themselves before they can fully embrace the ideology of "love thy family" and be a great mother/wife. in the past many women gave up their identity/character to get married because they were force fed to believe since birth that finding a good man to marry was their "purpose in life", but women of today (although they are still force fed since birth that finding a good man is their eldorado) have no problem walking away with their dignity rather than being stuck in a miserable marriage, wHere they are unhappy/abused/disrespected etc. women of today aint women of the past... back in the days they were in the shadows raising children and taking care of the home, nowadays they wanna do the same thing while being in the limelight, standing proudly next to hubby, wanting to make family decision too (aka want to be as equal as a man)... and you wonder why there are more divorces today?!

Another reason is romantic love. This notion can be destructive. In the past, when marriages lasted longer, people viewed romantic love as a form of illness. That's one of the reasons why Romeo and Juliet was written. Shakespeare intended to warn people to stay away from it. Romeo and Juliet is not a romantic tale; it was written as a cautionary tale to steer clear of such love.

the above is exactly the issue i was raising in my point A and B, aka people marrying for the wrong reasons. if more people got married for love today, more marriages would last the time, rather than these yeye marriages today that are built on yeye foundations. back in the days, women were also stuck in these miserable marriages, and the stigma of being a divorce woman in Nigerian society would keep them miserable forever... but now that many of these independent woman can hold their own and provide for their children, they'd rather walk away than being miserable/abused/disrespected for life.

Ask 20 people to define love, and each of them will give you a unique definition. Ask the same people the same question ten years later, and you will see that their idea of what love is has changed. Therefore, marrying because you love someone without considering compatibility adaptability, shared values, and a strong foundation is akin to marrying an amoeba based on its current shape.

love is just ONE of the foundations needed in order to have a lasting marriage... you also need respect/compatibility/security/companionship/character/values etc. ask the majority of Nigerians today what is their #1 NEED before getting married to someone, and the majority will say MONEY.... yet ask them the same question 10yrs later and they will give you a different answer. thats because Marriage is a journey where two people grow together as one. OF COURSE, you cannot expect these people to have the same views after growing 10yrs together, but one thing is certain: if love is not present in that marriage, then chances are a person would easily walk away than if love is present.

when some of them cannot even afford to have ONE WIFE after spending all their money on tithes, this one is talking about having "more" wives....lol!

a man who can eat 40 wraps of fufu per day is a RICH MAN (in Nigeria) that doesnt need any deliverance... dont believe the hype!


BTW la click la Bend like crayfish!

ARRANT NONSENSE!!!!!

there are more divorces today simply because...
A) its easy to get divorced today, compared to back in the days. in the past most of these women were jobless and couldnt divorce their husbands, but today, most women are gainfully employed and can manage to be on their own.
B) people marry for the wrong reasons, thanks to African culture/society....aka marriage because of RELIGIOUS/SOCIAL/FAMILY/PEER PRESSURE!
C) because lots of people have NO CLUE how hard it is to stay happily married. marriage aint a game and sadly, many only figure that out when its too late
D) because people are lazy!!!! so many were pretending to be who they were not (before marriage), in order to catch the right partner....and now that they are married, they dont need to pretend any longer,thats when their partner will discover the real character of their spouse. and sometimes it aint that great
E) what do you expect when you have so many women out there that are so FAKE (fake hair, fake foundation, fake eyelashes, fake nails, fake push up bras, fake padded underwear, fake accent, fake education, fake background etc)? some men only discover the true face of their partner after marriage, and it aint that great
F) so many women enter marriage as slim sexy princesses, and within 2/3 years (or kids) they end up looking like a baby whale version of shrek, and you wonder why so many men aint repulse by their wives?!
G) many people today marry SOLELY for money, and when a man with MORE money comes along and/or their spouse loses their money, then the marriage will rightfully be over.

just a drug addiction OR greed could have been the cause... BASTARD PIKIN!!!!

uzomakanaki:
totally out of point

- so you guys have been together for 2 yrs and you didnt know what her thought was about pregnancy?!
- so after 2 yrs, you just found out the type of woman you had, but never thought about it before while having unprotected sex with her?
- now you found out the type of demon she is and instead of running from her, you want to find ways to stay with her?!?!?!?!??!
- what about JEJELY WALKING AWAY FROM HER?! have you thought of doing that?!?!

your story makes very little sense...

https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/wtfih.gif

uzomakanaki:
her above state of mind was not known to me until she got pregnant. To be honest with you when i met her She was the industrious and independent type of a woman which attracted me to her. I still can't explain where the sudden change came from. For the abortion I she didn't tell me when she did it, i only knew about it when she started developing complications.

- so you guys never had a discussion about pregnancy, even though you had unprotected sex?
- eventually, you dodged a bullet since you now figure out the type of woman she truly is (aka a woman you dont desire to build a future with). so why dont you jejely accept that she aint the one and move on with your life?

uzomakanaki:
reason being that she can't be pregnant and be working. Unless I place her on a monthly salary.

so for the past 2yrs, you didnt know about her above state of mind?! so she just disappeared one day and came back in the evening telling you that she aborted OR she told you exactly when she will do it, and did it?!

thats the price you have to pay for dating someone who owns your life. if a man pays your rent etc, then of course, you ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO OTHER MEN.... the only man in your life is your "bf-sugardaddy", and your whole existence should be to pleasure that man.

ultimately, you can always dump that "BF-sugardaddy" so you can now start to pay your own rent and talk to whoever you decide.