₦airaland Forum

I added some more read up@ Mz Dark.

You would!  Just keep praying and asking God to give you the desires of your heart.  I asked God to give me the husband that I need not what I want.  He gave me my husband.  I did not say he must be African (looking at Nairaland with a smirk on my face) but I stated that he must be black don't care where he from. 

Be sure of what you want and live your life.  Your prince will come to you when YOU LEAST EXPECT!  I didn't think I would meet my husband at a FAMILY FUNCTION WITH A BUNCHA SNOTTY NOSED PISSING CHILDREN, but I did. 

Just always be prepared and act as if your prince came already. 

I also want to add that I TOOK MY TIME WITH MY HUSBAND I did not rush into a relationship or marriage UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE ON THIS SITE DID. Anyway, I took my time and got to know my husband and his family. It was important to me to know what type of man I was dealing with and we did a lot of dates and we spend a lot of times together before we even brought up the marriage.

I believe the more time you spend with someone the more you will learn if the person is for you or not. It also good to seek advices from POSITIVE ELDERS who been married for a long time and know the struggles. I think that what helped my husband and I we had ELDERS counseling us and we sought out God.

I realized everybody is not religious nor believe in God and that fine. But, it worked for me. It unfortunate that non nigerian and nigerian union aren't as high as it should be. But, I believe we need to slow down and SCREEN THE applicant before signing the deal.

Atreides:
Lol. . I hear ya. I'm not looking for a guy who'll fly me all around the world in his private jet(although if that guy shows up i wouldn't turn him away. . ). I don't want to be extremely rich,i wanna be comfortable. And if he has a normal/decent job,then he won't have any problems taking care of the basics. As long as the money is there,his responsibilities are his responsibilities. Maybe it's a Nigerian thing,but usually/ideally,the husband bears the brunt of financial expenses. He is to take care of his family for as long as he is able to. If some reason,there's no money,then i can step in.

There is nothing with that suga. If he don't mind being the provider and you the housewife. I don't see a problem with that. I have stated that let be realistic in the term of common sense. If he is not making enough money and you may have to work part time until he able to find another job where he making two persons income then you will have to do that if HE IS YOUR HUSBAND. If he is your boyfriend then you are not obligated to help him.

If you want to, you can. But, you are not obligated.

The brother introduced us at the family event. It was just a casual chat and I went on my way. I didn't know at the time he was interested in me more than just a chitchat. I am always doing projects and things that I didn't even notice the guy was trying to let me know HEY! I AM TRYING OT HOLLER AT YOU!

The brother basically introduced us even though we already met and I still was wasn't sudden him. The brother invited me over for a family chat and that when I met half of the siblings. The second eldest sister LOOOOOOVE HER SOMMA ME. I mean the moment we met she ain't been off of me since. She always say I am the sister she wish she grew up with. The eldest sister glad I married her brother because I have a strong mouth and my husband have a strong mouth. She was like you can handle Mr. Chima and I was like I don't mean to brag but I got him whipped. My husband looked like I said breaf stank. Hell, it was the truth.

I meat about 800 family members and got 1.4 millin left to meet. They all were very welcoming and they always call me and my husband three times a week. They always want us to come over or do something with them. So we try to please them but let them know we can't always run over when they want us to. I am talking about the ones that is in USA. I have no problem with his family whatsoever and I got Madea blessing before I married my husband. (It is an honor when Madea give you her blessing) Okay, I am getting misty eyed. I love Ma ma that what I call her too. She reminds me of my grandmother. She is split image of my grandmother. I felt at home.

Atreides:
Gud morning ma! Bawo?. . I don't want a poor man who's poor because he chooses to be. I don't want some lazy backside N.F.A(no future ambition) in my life. I want a man with vision,with drive,a man who'll want to provide and take care of me to the best of his abilities. I want to be comfortable,and that makes me a gold-digger? Mscheww. . Amin! Amin!! Amin!!! L'oruko Jesu! . . How is Mr. Chima?

Your Papi is sleep from our uhmm discussion. There is nothing wrong with wanting a man with such drive and ambition. I have stated that I do not want a man that do not work and my husband knew that before he married me. Now let be realistic when we pick potential mate based on what they have to offer because what we think we want may not be what we need.

IF you meet a decent guy and he work a decent job then accept him wholeheartedly. Trust me chile, you do not want a man that work ALL THE TIME. How would you get your quality time if he working all the time? He come home and crashes in bed while you sitting there in your lingerie and stilettos! No thanks! I want my baby home at a decent time and I want my quality time.

Be firm in what you want and STICK TO IT. Do not allow anyone to tell you what you want and make sure it is realistic because if it is not then you will be like that old lady at the bus stop waiting for her PERFECT MAN.

Mz. Dark,

Did you see the other reply I sent you on another thread? Just look at the ones with Mrs. Chima being the last poster. It the 7 mistakes thread.

Mz. Dark,

I am not interested in trash and thank you for the head up by the way.


What that song by 2PAC? Everywhere I go I see the same hoes haters!

Atreides:
Mama Chike welcome! . @Reed,being Edo's still really cool. And why does tensor get personal when people don't agree with him? I refused to say that i believed in the soulmate principle,and he said i'd been burned. You refused to believe in the soulmate principle,and he questioned your faith in God. I see a pattern here. @tensor,the soulmate principle isn't divine,dude. Do you even know how it came about? Lemme see. . Greek mythology! I could tell you the story,if you like. And please don't call me silly! I've been trying not to be insultive so kindly do the same,kay? That i do not have the same beliefs you do and you cannot convince me otherwise does not make me silly.

Hey suga!

[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=585913.msg7546215#msg7546215 date=1295230815]@Mrs.Chima
U don come o! LoL[/quote]I am just keeping it real. I can't stand a man that don't work. I am not talking about he must be a doctor or lawyer. I don't want them mofos. They work too much, but a man working a decent job with decent hours and can come home by the time the children out of school. I like those kind of guys. I am not looking, but I am just saying that what I was attracted to.

I am not into riches and glam. I am not caught up like that because I know the grass isn't green on the other side but I like being comfortable.

My husband know to work and if he have to work at WAL-MART then that fine but he don't have to at this time and I PRAY THAT HE NEVER HAVE TO. Amen.

My day was good considering I was tired from last night. We went out and kicked it. My husband had to do a full shift and he was out of it. My poor baby and now he knocked out. He just snoring loudly and I want to put a cloth pin over his nose.

I read a few emails and got some work done for my job. Basically I ain't did shit.

SMH@Sis still wasting her time with that trash.

Come to the light sis. How was your day suga?

Yes, Mz Dark! We had a traditional wedding and I was threatened by the sisters inlaws and the female family members if I didn't. I had two African dresses made for me. I wore a simple dress and an African dress at the day of my wedding.

One thing I must tell you chile!! Do not wear no damn heels in no sand! I was stinking down and walking at the same time. I am like this some shit. It was too hot for all them clothes child. Madea (the momma of the family in Africa) had on this hot arse outfit and she was just shining and glistening. I do not mean to talk about her but every time I look at the wedding pictures of her dressed up in that hot arse outfit I cracked up.

You just have to be there. It was beautiful sis and I strong encourage you to have a traditional wedding in Africa. Just know you can't just cook for ten people in Africa. The WHOLE TOWN GON SHOW UP. Just a warning. I aint never seen so many teefus in my life in one place!

I had the elder sister lecturing me about childbirth and the elder aunt lecturing me about breastfeeding. I am like damn let me get married first. I am serious girl they were showing me how to breastfeed and how to push the baby out. I am like these people ain't playing! If they tell you they love babies and babies are important you bettr take heed you gon be barefoot and pregnant most of you childbearing age if your future husband is not into birth control.

It was about five millions babies at the wedding. Okay, I am exaggerating but it seem like it!

I will tell you this if FOREIGN WOMEN/MEN are such an issue with some of you mofos then you African men and women need to stop chasing FOREIGN women and men.

It is that simple.

It a whole lot of you all running behind them oyindos like they are best thing since sliced breads and SOME OF YOU adapted to foreign customs especially oyindo customs and you want to talk that shit about you proud. If you proud of WHAT YOU ARE then do not adapt to another custom that is not yours.

It is that simple.


Mrs. Chima gon set some shit on fire keep messing with me.

Mz Dark,

My husband said the same thing to me but he said it with a devlishly grin with nothing on but some socks.  Anyway, TOO MUCH INFORMATION.  
To EVERYBODY ELSE,

I just want to say this and I will leave it alone.  First of all, you can not take nobody that do not want to be taken.  If an African man want a yellow woman that what the Bleep he gon run after.  Yall kills me with this bullshit as if we putting drugs in their coffee saying PLEASE PICK ME!  

I can only speak for Mrs. Chima and I know damn well I don't go Blood Diamond hunting for no African man.  I am not saying there anything wrong with African men but you mofos need to understand EACH PERSON have their own preference of who/what they want and it could be shallow and it could be ignorance.  When the sunset, he will still go after what HE WANTS.  IF HE DON'T WANT you it doesn't matter WHERE YOU FROM, he don't want your arse.  

Now I am off my soapbox and I will go sit down by Jaybee.

I see the haters having a meeting. Enjoy.

I was on topic, I think!

[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=585852.msg7546023#msg7546023 date=1295224962]@Mrs.Chima
Can I add some whipped cream to dat? lol[/quote]Errrm, you want to add whipped cream to DSENSE'S ARSE? Okay. Whatever floats your boat.

L. Reed!!!! You will not join them crooks!

L.Reed,

My husband asked me not to wear any make up because he said I do not need it. I only wore lipgloss and put glimmer on my eyelid. My hair was in curly microbraids down to my back and I put it in a spiral bun with diamond/pearl combo hair piece that hold the bun up. I had on a nice dress showing my legs because I don't do that long dress shit. I like to show my pretty legs and feet.

I had my nails done and feet pedicured. I was simple and still looked good. Everybody got al glammed up and was like girl you should have glammed up with the whole nine yard. Please it not necessary because it only superficial.

Don't get me wrong I am not saying a woman shouldn't get glammed up but I am saying I did not need to because I would have looked a hot mess. It is true that a woman who doesn't need make up ends up looking horrible with make up. I have actually seen women who got professional make over looked horrible!

If a woman is pretty and her skin is glowing she does not need make up. Lipgloss and eye glimmer is all she need. I have alot of excess carriage if you can get my drift and my husband was on me when I walked out the house wearing a short sundress to get the blouse off the line. I guess short sundress in Africa was a no no huh? He later told me that the men were asking him where did I get my sundress because they wanted their wives to wear it too. He said the men were telling him that the sundress showed off the body nicely and it was quite a view.

I asked my husband what did he say and he said to them that if any of you come near my wife he was not liable for his conduct. I was surprised that they were bold enough to tell him that. I guess they were chitchatting and it must have came out.

I dey husband.

Why would I marry someone that ran away on the day of the wedding?

If he ain't got no money then I ain't got no time for him.

This belongs to the politic section.

A fool?

justdream:
I Know Looking At Me, Yu Just Was Wishing Yu Dint Get Married To Chima

No. I will pass. Thanks for the offering though. Excuse me, I need to vomit.

Mr. Chima is MY PRECIOUS King.

[quote author=eku_bear link=topic=586446.msg7545512#msg7545512 date=1295217698]I also have never heard it called the Great Deal. And my 10th grade History teacher was an older AA woman.[/quote]Was she born in 1930's?

L.Reed,

I did not get glam up on my wedding day and I was turning heads.  My husband's cousin tried to HOLLERED at me on my wedding day!!!

It is Mr. Chima to you.

[quote author=isale_gan2 link=topic=586446.msg7545408#msg7545408 date=1295216358]101% African. Nigerian.[/quote]Oh, that make sense.

quote author=isale_gan2 link=topic=586446.msg7545386#msg7545386 date=1295216086]
Bear, Some story in that. Pol Sci and Sociology. Diverted. Long Story. For another time though.

MsChima,
Never heard it referred to as "Great Deal."

What period would you consider Reconstructon to have ended and the "Civil Rights Movement" to have started?

You mentioned you do presentation on this. Refer any source on the Black Muslims practice that you described. Not Google (or Wikipedia) though.

[quote][/quote]I do not need to google nor use wikipedia for half of my friends/family are Muslim. Of course you wouldn't see the history books depicted the "term" Great Deal because it was coined by AA community. I have stated that three times already. If you are getting your information from the history books that you purchased in college concerning Black History, you know what on the other hand I will not go there.

The civil right movement is still going on. It never ended.

[quote author=isale_gan2 link=topic=586446.msg7545280#msg7545280 date=1295214665]Hey, Bear.  It irks me.  I am working on it.  Maybe I'll just get a Ed.D and teach American History or Comparative Politics or something in Nigeria. [/quote]Are you African or AA?

[quote author=isale_gan2 link=topic=586446.msg7545242#msg7545242 date=1295214220]I think you meant FDR's "NEW DEAL." You're conflating Great Depression and New Deal.

[size=16pt]I was not born during those times however my elders were and according to them they referred it as the GREAT DEAL because they thought it was a crock of dog poo and that America should protect their own regardless of ethnicities or creed.[/size]

"JIM CROW" was not in the 1960s.  Jim Crow happened in the period after the civil war, during Reconstruction, 1865 onwards.  You must have meant to say, 60s = time of the Civil Rights Movement, MLK's time.  

[size=16pt]You are incorrect the JIM CROW law was enacted in 1876 to 1965.  Blacks were causing riots and protests against the Era.  So again, JIM CROW era and Civil Rights Movement are two separate entities.[/size]

This is surprising. I have never heard of this. While I am not NOI, I have had a lot of contact with them, plus other "mainstream" Muslims in the US. Black muslims in America, mainly the Nation of Islam, did not approve of or enablesingle motherhood. I have seen nothing referencing the practice, in the 70s or beyond, where women were encouraged to get married by an Imam under "Islamic Tenet" so they could continue to collect welfare from the government.  To the contrary, the Black Muslims emphasised economic independence and, in some cases, separatism.

[size=16pt]I stated that black couples uses the Islamic tenet of marriage being honored under Allah and witnesses to their advantage as they tried to hide their marriage from the government to receive public aid. In other words, in order for a black woman to receive public aid she could not be married however at that time NUCLEAR BLACK FAMILIES were still strong and the thought of not marrying in the family was atrocious to keep the family tradition they found another way to be married and still receive government aid. Understand now?[/size]


To what extent did Blacks participate in the New Age Movement in 70s?  The prevailing view is that the 70s for AA was a time when they were proclaiming the "Black Power" and "Black Separatist"movements, along with  "Black Liberation Theology."  Black  participation in the New Age Movement was very limited.

[size=16pt]The New Age Movement again was COINED BY AA COMMUNITY when the shift in black families as BLACK MEN WERE SHIPPED OFF TO PRISON FOR causing riots and protests.  You are right the 70's were black power era HENCE prisons having LARGEST NUMBERS of AA men during that time.  Because of that, black women became head of household and the rate of single black women with children increased.[/size][/quote]