₦airaland Forum

DauraDullard:
Let's save this for some other time, sis. You should know very well that the evil forces from the north and beyond are seriously militating against the existence of Christianity in the Nigerian politics

Floodgater:
Most of the time, it is waste of time to advice low self worth women but... Sorry about this though.
When you were 24yrs old, your priorities where misplaced. At 29, you have not even notice. If you dont help yourself now, at 40 it could be worse. You went into that marriage trusting your husband to straighten your path, he has not done that yet your problem is kiss from a man who can't offer good let alone clean sex.
Old girl sit down and ask yourself what you really want apart from being a housewife and mother. I advice you start to seek for job with your ND or business you can do by your self help, pick yourself from where you left it the day you followed this man atleast for your son's sake. And please stop foolishly waiting for him to stand you.
If he impregnate and marry one of his lovers tommorrow, loses his job, becomes down with AIDs or something, can you survive it with your son?

babyosisi:
The man is no longer interested in the marriage and has moved on,she has to move on too,you can't force someone to love or care for you
The girl can go and legally change the name of the child to her last name and assume sole custody and care of the child
If dem tell una not to become housewives una no go gree
If she can't pay rent or feed,she can move back to her parents house and begin from there

babyosisi:
The man is no longer interested in the marriage and has moved on,she has to move on too,you can't force someone to love or care for you
The girl can go and legally change the name of the child to her last name and assume sole custody and care of the child
If dem tell una not to become housewives una no go gree
If she can't pay rent or feed,she can move back to her parents house and begin from there

lastpage:
Truth be told, the five Governors LEFT for their own selfish and personal reasons and it has Nadda to do with the victory of Buhari.

It is we the masses of Nigeria that said ENOUGH..... is ENOUGh for the "Kleptomanic and inept Regime" of Jonathan.

In all of these, we must not forget to give CREDIT to one Man and his Team, that is Prof. Attahiru JEGA.
If not for his insistence on the use of the "PVC & Card Reader", our Vote and Voice would not have counted and Jonathan would still have declared a "landslide Victory', as is usual of PDP.


We must also agitate to our elected officials (by voting them out if they refuse to hear and heed to our voice) that the Electorate should be able to have a "Power of Recall" for elected Assembly Officials and LGA Councillors & Chairmen.

Development starts at the Grass Root and these level of Officials seem UNACCOUNTABLE for the huge Financial Vote they collect from the Centre.

So, everyone that loves democracy and loves this country must ensure that we support ways of making the Card Reader/PVC permanent ......and "bullet-Proof" to tampering.

That is the only way to improve this democratic dispensation.

I rest my case.

Lastpage!

lastpage:
Truth be told, the five Governors LEFT for their own selfish and personal reasons and it has Nadda to do with the victory of Buhari.

It is we the masses of Nigeria that said ENOUGH..... is ENOUGh for the "Kleptomanic and inept Regime" of Jonathan.

In all of these, we must not forget to give CREDIT to one Man and his Team, that is Prof. Attahiru JEGA.
If not for his insistence on the use of the "PVC & Card Reader", our Vote and Voice would not have counted and Jonathan would still have declared a "landslide Victory', as is usual of PDP.


We must also agitate to our elected officials (by voting them out if they refuse to hear and heed to our voice) that the Electorate should be able to have a "Power of Recall" for elected Assembly Officials and LGA Councillors & Chairmen.

Development starts at the Grass Root and these level of Officials seem UNACCOUNTABLE for the huge Financial Vote they collect from the Centre.

So, everyone that loves democracy and loves this country must ensure that we support ways of making the Card Reader/PVC permanent ......and "bullet-Proof" to tampering.

That is the only way to improve this democratic dispensation.

I rest my case.

Lastpage!

ignis:
N100,000 is not enough to start a profitable business which won't require your attention.
Keep saving guy....
When it reaches N500,000 let me know.

deadie:
Every little or difficult situation they jump ship? Are you serious? I do not understand your mentality.

If your partner can go as low as sleeping with your own sister, how can you rewire your brain to still love and share the same bed with that person? Well as I earlier wrote, what do I know. If people marry for the sake of money, convenience and material things, then this situation probably falls under your category of "little or difficult situation" that doesn't warrant "jumping ship". But if the foundation of your marriage is love and trust, then this act is a tsunami which has completely washed away that very foundation of marriage.

emeify:
Am in Lagos Nigeria.
Man was abusing me in addition to so many issues and threatening me to leave or else....

So I left. I had to stay with a cousin so could not take d kids. He has threatened over his dead body about d kids and well, they can stay with him as long as I can see them too.

deadie:
I am a married man, so I guess that I can relate more to a man wanting to cheat (not that I have or ever will). But forgive your husband who is/was sleeping with your younger sister? I will never understand that. Oh well, what do I know. You probably deserve each other.

babyosisi:
Obviously there are
There are people like me who believe that a man who screws his wife's younger sister on a regular basis ,a man that is ready to infect her with all manner of diseases and lies about it is not worth a dime and there are people like you who will even seek reconciliation with a man that gives you HIV and throat cancer
That's what makes us individuals
Her man and sister have denied it and are reAdy to swear to amadioha that it never happened
Take it from there
She Needs your advice on how to proceed now more than ever.

mrsmith11:
If he is sorry and truly remorseful then you just have to speak to your mind,think of the bright side of him often and I believe with time you will be heal of the wound

He fell in his moment of weakness so just believe God use you to bring him back .

Remember he brought you to christ so you too can also bring him back from backsliding

I wish you the best and I hope your husband will be truly sorry for the mess

Westendel:
Even if I forgive, how do I get to like him again? I can't possibly look at him without the thought of his abominable act playing in my mind

Westendel:
Even if I forgive him,I don't think we will ever live in the same roof as husband and wife,for the very thought of him disgust me right now. I have informed my parents and my Dad has called for a meeting with his people in tommorow. my sister is also coming for d meeting including him though they've not been told the purpose of d meeting.

what shocked me about dis matter is DAT my husband is one of the board members in the Church, so committed that it's impossible to guess that he will do this kind of evil to me and God.
I believe all things worked together for good. there is still hope for a tree,even if it is cut down, it will soon sprout again.I believe I will not end like this

mrsmith11:
Please read the story properly before you advice

The sister is not 14 years ....she was 14 when she first lived with the Op. She sent her back to the mum in the village when she couldn't keep legs close where all the boys in the street were having free fun and was even caught by there landlady
The Op got married 5yrs ago and the sister happen to get admission I think abt the same time which she is now 19yrs and moved into the Op matrimonial home

From my observation I think this sleeping with husband just started and so there is still room for forgiveness if the Op can sit the husband and talk to him

You people just like divorce

My advice to the Op before you do anything talk with your husband and sister then your family before take your final decision and please let divorce be the last option

Note I know you are very emotional person but do not allow your emotion cloud your reasoning

To err is human and to forgive is divine

My 10 cent

babyosisi:
Chi chi, let me try
This one is tough but I will try

First of all get yourself together,I am saying this knowing how hard this must be
I have a younger sister 14 years my junior and as I was reading this I was imagining you being me and wondering what would be my reaction if my own sister slept with my husband under my own roof.


[size=18pt]Do not confront your husband yet So don't speak to them together please [/size]


1.) Take screen shots of that evidence because they will deny this and wipe off the chats and it becomes their words against yours so you need solid evidence.

2.) Be prepared that even with that evidence,most of what they will confess to will be a lie if you question them together so don't!. They will most likely say it happened only once, most likely it's been happening a long time,more likely than not,since she was 14, he may even be the one that deflowered her and that makes him a rapist.14 year olds are minors and cannot give consent.if he didn't force or coerce her it is statutory rape by virtue of her age,
His action could have been what led your sister on a promiscuous path and that is another story altogether.
If this has gone on since she was 14 ( which is my suspicion ) your husband is also a pedophile and all other neighborhood kids are at risk.
This has gone beyond your husband slept with your sister,there could be a wider circle of victims here.I am scared of what might be uncovered in a good investigation where other kids are questioned properly.you could have been sleeping with a monster.


3 ) speak to your sister before speaking to your husband to confirm no 2 above.this is tough but approach this very calmly and in a non confrontational way.you want to ascertain that he did mol.est her as a 14 year old and the circumstances, let her give you details ,then ask her if she knew of other little girls. The results here will depend on your manner of approach.you have to pretend to be on her side totally,as a caring older sister who is like a mother figure looking out for her best interests ,she will surely open up and spill everything. That's what you need.

4.) Call your mother and bring her over also call a family member of his over to where you live and with the 5 of you sitting together ,ask your sister to repeat what she had told you.

Then leave your husband to make a response


If indeed he slept with a 14 year old,you should have nothing to do with Him after this,the man belongs in prison
I would actually get the police involved
Either way this marriage is over
As hard as this sounds,this marriage is worthless
The marriage is irreversible at this point and you are free to remarry, Biblically speaking,don't try to salvage anything there is nothing here to salvage.

babyosisi:
Chi chi, let me try
This one is tough but I will try

First of all get yourself together,I am saying this knowing how hard this must be
I have a younger sister 14 years my junior and as I was reading this I was imagining you being me and wondering what would be my reaction if my own sister slept with my husband under my own roof.


[size=18pt]Do not confront your husband yet So don't speak to them together please [/size]

Please read the story properly before you advice

The sister is not 14 years ....she was 14 when she firt lived with the Op. She sent her back to the mum in the village when she couldn't keep legs close where all the boys in the street were having free fun and was even caught by there landlady
The Op got married 5yrs ago and the sister happen to get admission I think abt the same time which she is now 19yrs and moved into the Op matrimonial home

From my observation I think this sleeping with husband just started and so there are still room for forgiveness if the Op can sit the husband and talk to him

You people just like divorce

My advice to the Op before you do anything talk with your husband and sister then your family before take your final decision and please let divorce be the last option

Note I know you are very emotional but do not allow your emotion cloud your reasoning

To err is human and to forgive is divine

My 10 cent


1.) Take screen shots of that evidence because they will deny this and wipe off the chats and it becomes their words against yours so you need solid evidence.

2.) Be prepared that even with that evidence,most of what they will confess to will be a lie if you question them together so don't!. They will most likely say it happened only once, most likely it's been happening a long time,more likely than not,since she was 14, he may even be the one that deflowered her and that makes him a rapist.14 year olds are minors and cannot give consent.if he didn't force or coerce her it is statutory rape by virtue of her age,
His action could have been what led your sister on a promiscuous path and that is another story altogether.
If this has gone on since she was 14 ( which is my suspicion ) your husband is also a pedophile and all other neighborhood kids are at risk.
This has gone beyond your husband slept with your sister,there could be a wider circle of victims here.I am scared of what might be uncovered in a good investigation where other kids are questioned properly.you could have been sleeping with a monster.


3 ) speak to your sister before speaking to your husband to confirm no 2 above.this is tough but approach this very calmly and in a non confrontational way.you want to ascertain that he did mol.est her as a 14 year old and the circumstances, let her give you details ,then ask her if she knew of other little girls. The results here will depend on your manner of approach.you have to pretend to be on her side totally,as a caring older sister who is like a mother figure looking out for her best interests ,she will surely open up and spill everything. That's what you need.

4.) Call your mother and bring her over also call a family member of his over to where you live and with the 5 of you sitting together ,ask your sister to repeat what she had told you.

Then leave your husband to make a response


If indeed he slept with a 14 year old,you should have nothing to do with Him after this,the man belongs in prison
I would actually get the police involved
Either way this marriage is over
As hard as this sounds,this marriage is worthless
The marriage is irreversible at this point and you are free to remarry, Biblically speaking,don't try to salvage anything there is nothing here to salvage.

babyosisi:
Then get your miserable self out of his thread
What type of frustrated human being are you?
You will pass yet you are commenting on the thread?
Passing means peeping in and disappearing
Now get lost and stop stalking posters.

aflyingbird:
tpia and mrsmith , make una go to d sexuality section abeg