₦airaland Forum

There is nothing in what you did. If you go to local restaurant you will always see salt on the table in case you need more salt because everyone has different taste

My mum use to say "e better make salt no dey than e too much"

ailehwise:
Thank you all for the advice.
Still confused as I don't know the advice to take.
All are contradicting.
I have already told her that she need to assist me which she agreed.
I told her I don't have international passport how much more the visa.
I don't even have money to process all this.
just to test if she will truely assist me, I ask her to send me some money to prepare my international passport. but the money almost got us separated that she is feeling is the money I need that I don't love her. she also said I should remember she has bill she is paying over there. in fact this respond got me worried. I had the feeling I will be slaved.
Again she get angry easily and I am scared for this.
I heard life is difficult over there.
my plan is that she should come Jan first, we talk well about this

A lot of people with little or no experience are talking here.

First,do not enter into the union because of visa. There has to be a genuine feelings for a true relationship.
Secondly,please do not ask her for money as you will look cheap and set a low standard for yourself
Thirdly,pick the 70k job while you continue your discussion or relationship with her pending when she comes and then finalize the whole plans

Fourthly,if like to marry her then do and follow her to uk because distance relationship isn't easy at all
There are nice,faithful,loyal and humble beautiful white/foreign women in the uk and every part of the world.

Once you get a visa here and get to uk....it wouldn't take more than 3 months after date of entry for them to issue you permit of stay/residence permit of 2years

You can work with it.....if your wife is a citizen then you can attend some free tuition school while working

My advice: go with her if is true

I will stop here

NLs in benin city,

Please help a couple looking for 2 bedroom flat at sapele road and its environs urgently

Thanks

NLs in benin city,

Please help a couple looking for 2 bedroom flat at sapele road and its environs urgently

Thanks

athaboi:
Op i wldnt say u r llieing bt i can authoritatively tell u that u didnt tell us wat happened frm onset...in nsukka, nobody can ever ask u to pack because u r ohu/osu thats a big lie. Mind u there r thousands of ohu/osu. Everybody in nsk weda u r ohu/osu live together, is even very diffcult to knw those who r osu. U cant even say it to their hearing that they r ohu, is forbiding to tell them to their hearing or else u guys a fighting. Nobody can ask u to pack out because u r osu..tell us wat happend

Read properly

He didn't say they asked him to park but at night (abt 11pm) they come to bang his door , swearing and calling him osu while in the morning they act normal

SkyBlue1:
Remove one subsidy for another subsidy? I do not support that or see any wisdom in that, it is very short sighted and myopic. Removing subsidy and using the money to develop infrastructure or improve on the building of more power plants makes much better sense. Nigerians should chill out with this whole subsidy thing, subsidy is not meant to be a permanent situation. Nigeria is poor and has limited finances so you need to prioritise. You can't be asking for everything to be susbsidised for you and asking for magical transformation of infrastructure as well, the money has to come from somewhere . . . . . . .

Increase in tariff to equate increase in distribution will take more money from the pocket of the people and which they don't have due to high unemployment,inflation and whatever.

Government should invest heavily in power where there be considerable supply of power which will directly boost the economy then you can collect the money through increase in the tariff

Oil price is falling everyday so why the need for subsidy? Stop fuel subsidy and use the money to subsidize electricity tariff which will be beneficial to us all.

Nigerians are really suffering at this time so why increase our expenses with electricity tariff

I will advice you don't tell her son except you want to be hate by your mother in law and it might break your relationship.

If the son finds out one way or the other it means nothing but if your mother in law to be find out you told his son and there is hatred then am very sorry for your relationship (remember is the only son).

It 2 ways; if you have borrow her just once which she will not refund and she wouldn't ask again OR keep telling her you don't have

Don't ever let your mother in law feel you betray her because it will bring hatred btw you both

My 10 cent

jusRadical:
Your wife and you are still planning for marriage next year.

You are co-habiting my friend. Who made her your wife when you have not married her.

In-laws? Which in-laws? Are you married?

Go and marry and stop living in sin of lies, and sexual immorality.

Repent today.

Y do people jump into conclusion.
I think you should have asked the Op more details.

Do you know if the bride price has been paid and he was referring to church/white wedding?
Please always ask question before you conclude

Also if formal introduction by both family has been done and the lady decide to move in with the man becos of the pregnancy I still don't see anything wrong in that

My opinion

What is this...SMH
I saw the first thread but I didn't bother to comment.
I'm very sure your MIL hates you because you are not ibo and never taught the son will marry you.Also from the look of things am not sure there is a child btw you both.

If not that divorce is not advisable I would ve suggest you walk out because your husband is so disappointing.

Women are not subject or slave that tries to please his/her master but our companion and partner. A partner is someone you both are having an equal stake in a union but the man happens to be the leader

I don't knw what to say to you because your husband has not treated/place you in the right way.

You are not married to your mil and you don't go around please her

Is your husband visiting or calling your own parents?
Does he please your parents that way you are doing to his?

Abegii

If PMB has announce this set of ppl as minister a month after swearing then it wouldn't have been a big deal but four months to give us this kind of list is so disappointing

Please is it compulsory/very necessary for a woman to undergo a scan to confirm if her uterus has move back to the normal position after her 1st child before thinking of getting pregnant again

TonyeBarcanista:
Oga but the era when charges against corrupt officials are withdrawn is here.

See logic!

Government has the right to withdraw charges when they don't have enough evidence to prosecute.
The case was there before this present government and am sure after reviewing the case it wasn't worth wasting public resources on since the evidence were not convincing

You know the last govt like wasting resources for selfish purposes

This government is not in a hurry to arrest anyone until some certain factors are put in place.
The era were corrupt politicians/officials buy indefinite restraining order against prosecution like ODILI from corrupt judges is over
Justice delay is not justice denied

kilode100:
Yinmu*
You dey write letter to future husband ba? Kontinue Aunty

I just followed this post now. So funny hw you replied some people even at the face of provocation

Thumb up kilode100 ....loving u

Audray:
i agree that what ur cousin did is wrong. IE. Bringing different women into yor house which is as annoying when males do it, toasting married women; bad. Well thing is throwing her out,cutting her off, avoiding her will not help. Talk to her about curbing her promiscuity. I mean if she were male would u throw him out? Nope. Why? Cos he's straight. And if she were to b dating different men,married and single alike, bringing to ur home. Would u throw her out? I dont think so. Just be SENSIBLE.

He has the right to throw her out after talking/warning her...why?

If she was faithful to a single partner,the brother wouldn't have found out

If she was bringing different men to the house,he would throw her out after talking/warning her

Would u allow your younger bro or sis to bring multiple partner to your house?
That high level of irresponsibility.

I think El rufai should post our idependent anniversary budget from 1999 which include the year he was F.C.T minister and come to think of it why did he omit yara dua 2yrs tenure?

Why is our govt not using innoson cars/vehicle in all govt ministry and agencies.
I think that one way to encourage home made product like is done in every developed countries

prettigurl16:
Tasmania

Australia?

Lotano

prettigurl16:
Tanx everyone. Staggering statistics you've got there @5minsmadness.
Very scary too. Someone asked if there is no Nigerian at all here. Actually, they are very few. The ones I meet at church all have their wives
with them. The single ones only want oyibo chicks. Nigerian girls are just left hanging. Sad.

Where are you?

I have never thought of it......I actually have 2 deceased on my fb list

One was a course mate and a friend (a guy)

The second was my GF before she passed on...life.....sometimes you will not know the real value of what you have until is gone
she was a pillar I failed to acknowledge at that time,she was just the best

RIP to her again
Miss her sometimes though

Saraki forgot that the "Mere commissioner" is a professor of Law.

He would ve just simply honour the tribunal and nothing would ve happened

RIP to the deceased

First time seeing tinubu on white agbada

Change is really here

RIP to the deceased

Jman06:
This op has not yet come to terms with the reality of life.

Guy, when you understand life and how things are presently in Nigeria you will put up the toughness coat and go all out to struggle for your survival.

Let me inform you that as Nigeria presently is, nobody cares about anyone(not even siblings) so stop begging strangers online and hustle. Life is a battle field and only the fittest survive
and thrive. So, do you want to survive and thrive? Then go all out and hustle (do anything you can).

If I had known what I now know some 4-5 years ago I would have dropped out of school to face life squarely, or I would not
have paid as much attention to studies as I did. But thank goodness I now know better.

So, guy hustle, hustle and hustle without ceasing.

A word is enough for the wise!

"If I had known what I now know some 4-5 years ago I would have dropped out of school to face life squarely, or I would not
have paid as much attention to studies as I did"

Please don't send your children to school......let them face life squarely from what you know now

Thanks

Cityink:
Maybe you are right, i was thinking like this too, but as long he is locked and he dont talk to me...i dont know what to do
I tried to ignore him too, to go my way without him...but then he quarrel more AND it makes no sence for me too...if i do everything alone, if i ignore my partner, if i live just in the same flat but nothing more...then i dont need a realationship...because it is just hearting...it breaks up internally

I feel your pain because you want to make it work but it seems your husband is not making any effort.

Maybe there was a time he was communicating/passing a message to you sometime ago and you didn't understand or you ignored knowingly or unknowingly so he developed a resistance to you...(Just my opinion so I might be wrong)

So I will advice you ask him some questions that he should be truthful about it;

Does he still love you?
Does he want to make the relationship work?
Is he really comfortable with you frequent travelling?

Then finally......maybe you both should list out what you like about each other and things you don't like so each other improve on

I hope you understand my points

The Op is just looking for fault even when she has been told that the chat is harmless.

She doesn't trust the guy because he is an african

There white men here do worst and they still try to save there marriage but when it comes to black husband they keep listening to gossip from there white friends especially thos who don't like black guys and some people here are talking rubbish

gboso1ne:
In case you have not heard, some Nigerian men go into marriages in foreign countries just to get citizenship and be able to stay in the country legally which is what is "pali" or document in English.

Dude is just using you to get what he wants, after getting that then dump u.

So anybody that lives abroad and mention Pali means he/she is using the partner for self interest?
You people don't live abroad......all you hear are stories and you keep recycling them

People fall in love and marry for long or short period it depends on them and they also fall out of love not all for selfish interest

The cases happens everywhere

Point of correction...."Pali" means passport............while. "Docu" means document

olukenzo:
Can't you see he's hurting her!? You said it yourself, he's acting like an irresponsible man.

And yes, his behaviour as she's explained, in my opinion, says he's using her for papers. This is more so if we choose not to ignore the "acting like a monkey to catch a monkey" talk.

You don't say? By your logic, it takes only a married person or a diasporan to detect an irresponsible man.

He's a married man, he should talk to his wife and share whatever frustration(s) he may be going through with her.

We all know the man is not living up to his responsibility in terms of care and trust issue to his wife due to his behaviour

What am saying is that some of you should stop sinking wrong ideas into the woman head that is because of document his with her. There are far worst cases here in nigeria

If it was a nigeria scenario.....all you people will say......woman pray,talk to your pastor,cook for him,dress sexy and expect God to change him because men are promiscious in nature

Why are you people not saying that now

Why everybody talking about papers because she is white?.....

olukenzo:
The conversation you posted does not say he's cheating. He playfully accused Demoye of dating Samson's sister, who he is surprised is all grown now.

Having said that, from your explanations and the way he is treating you, there are indications he's using you to get his papers. There was a not so precise allusion to this in the shots you posted...

You have not asked for relationship advice, so I'll leave it at this. However, using you to get papers is wicked and criminal.

All the best dear.

So are you telling me there are no men in nigeria who treat there wives far worst than what the Op is passing through?
So what will call that..

Why are so many people so concern about the document.

The guy can just be irresponsible married man like every other cases we read here on nairaland

He can also be passing through a lot of pressure or difficult from home that why he is not investing money into vacation or travelling for fun

Please if you are not married or live abroad then you understand nothing

Don't delete the pic....you look lively and cheerful on the pic

You were in UAE last, was your husband with you...I guess not
Does he has his complete document now

Mayb your marriage is a bit boring like normal routine (wake up,goto work,come back and sleep then repeat again)

I think maybe you need to rekindle the fire in the marriage

Why don't both of you spend sometime outside germany like 1-2 weeks together. You can come to venice (italy) is a beautiful city

Or goto dinner in a quiet restaurant then just talk to him

Just my opinion

Cityink:
Why? Whats the matter with my pic or face? Yes i like VAE, was there for holiday last month, was realy cool!

Cityink:
I treat him very understandful and i try always. But he never tell me where he was...even he stay out of house over night!
He is whole time ugly, boring and selfish...just to get something like help or explanation or sex he is short nice & apologize for what he said or did day before...after he is in bad mood again
I dont know what to think about

Is he someone just want easy life

You should know that in marriages there are always up and down at a time so your case is not different from any other marriage having issue of this nature

I think your husband might just be one of those men who doesn't understand the meaning and responsibility of been a married man

He might be living as a single man from the comfort of his home like still enjoying the company of his male friends,hanging out in bars/clubs at the detriment of his home

He might even be cheating with other women but the conversation up does not prove so

I think you need a long talk with your husband or both of you seek a marriage counsellor

He might be going through somethings which you are unaware also

Stop listening to different interpretation here

My advice