@ Agybabe I dare not attempt to speak for any other woman but I know what/who I am. Great post!

All marriages are contractual, I'm almost certain she didn't FORCE him to become intimate, thus producing THEIR child. And I could guess he went back for seconds, thirds & so on. If u continue on u'll just be helping to buy milk & pampers. Oh the expense! How about using ur time & money for a worthy cause in which U profit. Unless u seek to profit pain & loss time? Buy some land, start a business or savings acct. But whatever u do don't support that MARRIED man & his WIFEY!

^^^ FINALLY, someone with logical sense & reasoning abilities!

Lol! Funny & true!

The phrase was actually coined in England but always existed from the beginning of time. Similiar to Columbus discovering or coining America. Anyway, it's a time when a relationship & love so sweet is taken to the highest level of oneness, intimacy & pleasure (consummation) after marriage. But now days the concept is spoiled due to couples casting off restraint or delayed gratification. Something is definitely loss,

Subliminal messages, eh? What igorance lies in the dark hearts, impoverished minds of hopeless fools. They will die from lack, And with a bloated belly of worms. Potbellism, Naija: a beautiful, wealthy place of poverty. Should I desire my Seed to inherit this? Not to worry-NO! Oyinbo is content with lot in life. SMH and praying.

All relationships whether good or bad are opportunities to learn and grow. However, be cautious to forge mainly positive, healthy ones.

I had the pleasure of dating one Naija guy and befriending a couple. I think that rich dark skin-ashy or shiny- is so appealing. Though I like their cultural ideologies, generally, I witnessed a lack of open mindedness and the inability to judge ppl on an individual basis.

Thanks for sharing!

OP, very truthful and insightful. Language was somewhat explicit but the points were clear. Like harvesting yams from dirty soil. It's always good to hear these truths from a male's perspective. Bravo!

lady gogo:

@swift sms. TRUTH.COM. Why do people like listening to their pastors? Our people need to start learning how to sit down, ponder and analyze situations. Jeez.

I think (spirit-filled/led) pastors are great but some people, or christians, don't understand that the word they present to us each week is to CONFIRM what God has already spoken to us during the week-----if we are praying and reading the Holy Bible. This is how we miss God and He never intended that we have a relationship with Him thru a pastor.

OP:
I think late marriages are good for most people these days.  Marriage can be a great blessing.  However, today, in this high-tech world most younger people do not have the patience to endure the highs and lows of marriage.  Their tension span is short and the constant need to be thrilled is deeply embedded.  From a personal stand point, I find that it is better to wait for someone who is mature and prepared for such a journey; rather than divorce or remain in an unhappy situation for years.  As a christian, the only catch to waiting is having the ability to keep oneself from fornication.

racheal84:

@ poster,

omg idk what kinda americans u are meeting but that sure as hell isnt true, not ALL americans are that easy, just the slutty ones, im american and i am far far from that kinda person, thats disgusting, and degrading,

why do people stereotype on where people are from and their color etc, its just dumb, we are all humans, dont matter where we from, people all over the world do silly stuff like that,

Right Rachael84! And I guess that's why the HIV/AIDS rate is so high in SOME places. This must mean that somebody is behaving immorally. It's hard to school some folks that human (immoral) behavior is a human problem not a geographical issue.

Maybe they were praying for one another. Or consoling or just wanted to express God's love. Maybe had an heated discussion & was making things right. Sometimes things are not as they appear!

OP: Like the topic. I'm American and don't chase men. Neither do my intelligent, classy, godly, self-confident, friends EL Guado: Sounds like you've been exposed to the WORLD; and therefore, more mature & reasonable in understanding that unattractive traits are found in WOMEN. Not a geographical or cultural thing

Those women have taken the nature of men, Therefore, out of ignorance they chase/hunt for a manly prize, not knowing that they are the prize. And what they possess manly men would risking dying for.

Both of you have parts to play in this sick r/ship fiasco. Op-you for being cowardice, she-for not loving herself enough to leave permanently when you abused her. You will beat her again when pressure mounts. Leave her and every women alone until you seek godly counsel & deliverance! True character can only be exposed by pressure. Your abusive nature has been revealed.

Find out zour talents/ passions & money will soon follow. But keep n mind that sometimes you may need take on alternate career choices that help support your dreams

OP: WELL SAID! The only I would add is that the real work is in MAINTAINING the base after finding your mate. Adam & Eve were placed in Eden but didn't stay, Have a preventative maintenance plan

This is a crime. Exposing this man to deadly HIV. Telling him would not only spare him but also his future/seed/generations/legacy. May God repay you according to your deeds in sparing a friend's life or sweeping dirt under the rug.

Would want someone to tell you? This serious due to the impending marriage. I'd give her a deadline to b truthful. If not met I WOULD TELL.

Maybe if they prayed for thdmselves they would be empowered to RESIST. Even Jesus told His (sleeping) disciples, "Get up and pray so that you will fall into temptation." It helps when both women & men pray for one another. The fervent, effectual prayers, avails much. But we all are mandated to communicate with God personally.

Wow, If only they'd made a covenant w/ their eyes not to look upon a prostitute. These men were talented, skilled & favored to reach a high status which could only be upheld by GOOD CHARACTER. IF 100% of men fail then women MAY be at fault. History reveals that some pass but others fail the same test. Like any test what's in a person will be revealed,

That is life & human nature--fallen. There is a perfect, unconditional love that is available. It's called agape love. It's source streams from God alone. Agape is more like a tight rope as opposed to a balloon string. BS breaks easily.get tangled, is carried away by the slightest wind. Ppl really know how to hurt & hate one another! For me, Agape is the bull's eye. I've been on both the giving & receiving end.

Upendo 4 also agree, I've never heard of a fallen man who returned was restored to former greatness. It's important to hold on to integrity! A man who CHOOSES a prostitute reduces a man to a piece of bread where he becomes stale, mold contaminated & perish w/o blessing or 'feeding' others.

I believe it is a personal decision to have a rel with God too. But most if not all our decisions affect & involve others to various degrees. Plz pray & seek God

Is she willing to convert to Christianity? She defied her advisers in going back. So her muslim spiritual foundation may be weak. The bible says do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Some rel issues can be compromised but not Christian beliefs. Pray & seek God

When a person is young and/or inexperienced par life, their views & reasoning are sometimes insensitive & rigid. We tend to prepare for happily ever after. Only maturity & experiences in life can make rigid ppl empathetic & humble. Life w/ its unexpected twists & turns finds us all in some way. Still we have a right to preferences not discrimination. I would marry a single father even if child out of wedlock. But only if he learned from mistakes & is a good, involved father in the child's life. And for Christians, God entrusted Joseph w/ rearing Jesus

Was it really women who made him jump off the balcony? Or was it a cowardice heart making bad choiceswhich prevented him from facing his mess? At that point running to commit suicide was a bit out of season. God told Adam because u LISTENED to EVE, The blame is on the man that CHOOSES wrongly. Respect to the deceased. There are still mighty men who haven't fallen out

OP Faith is believing n the reality of what has not been manifested in the physical realm. The hardest thing to endure is the waiting. Yet u have need of patience. After u have done the will of GOD, u shall receive the promise. I pray now that ur faith is strengthened & vision is perfected to find a wife! Not a mere woman. In Jesus' name. I admire & respect ur noble stand man of God!

Most of these powerful men had good women/wives. And all the lovin they needed. Only fear of the Lord Jesus keeps a man from a prostitute. These men r weak-willed. And so is their tempter.

I guess it would depend what the men were seeking-a thrill or something serious. Chances are most were lusting for a thrill & nothing permanent. Those seeking more look deeper,