cantell:

Horny4u & coogar, you guys must be living in the wilderness!
A guy earns 15k with no additional income and the best advice you can offer, is for him to enroll in a school and increase his skills?
Tell me, where will the money for tuition and other expenses come from?
For crying out loud, it's Nigeria we're talking about, not Us.
Being self-employed is a huge step in his current situation. Driving a cab may not be the best but it's a start.
When you don't have enough, you start with the one you have.
I agree with the self pity part though, but he's willing to take another step, which what i actually admire.

Are you self employed ? I am !

I can tell you for free that its one of the hardest thing anyone can do, extremely hard especially at the beginning later you begin to have time to come on Nairaland to play , pays off financially and emotionally but the sacrifices are crazy

You donot only motivate yourself and others , if you donot continuously plan and create you fall behind.

With a job whether you deliver of not you get paid. If you get sacked you find another one and keep repeating same.

For free if one did not succeed at a job, they cannot succeed in business it is a different playing ground.

If someone pays you 15k its what your services are worth in his eyes, if you leave he employs someone else to do that job.

If you think you are worth more then you need to increase your services and skillz, how you do that , selling newspaper, abiola sold firewood or puff puff does not matter.

Again one's life is one's if you organise a pity party lots of pple will say sorry and get back to their life while you continue with yours

The only way to success is to be inspired and follow your hunches, hardwork and determination to put your best in all you do, prayer without all this is a waste of time.

Take it or bin it, mo se aye mi lo

@kenny1st. sorry dear. That town called Abuja doesn't really help matters for both sexes.

@ pappy2000

The truth is that everyone that has contributed to this discussion is speaking from their own point of view.The truth is that the root cause of late marriage in men and women is the economy of this country.The truth is that let me use myself as an example, [b]I am in my 31 and working as a teacher in a God-forsaken school and earning 15k,how do u think i should get marry with that peanut.I had to leave the place last month to do other things.I intend to start driving a cab soonest,[/b]and all my friends are asking me when am I get married when that is the least of my problem,so u can see what I mean.I ami have  still look for financial break through in life.and the irony of this is that I have many of my colleagues who is working and earning as little as that and they have wives and children,but i have vowed that I will not live the kind of lives those people are living.In fact,they are not living,they are merely existing.

Sorry to digress slightly from the main topic but this comment caught my eyes. Pappy2000, I must say I am impressed at what you have said cos it shows courage and determination. May I encourage you that whatever you decide to do, be the best you can be at it. When you start driving the cab, please remember to advertise it here so that, who knows, some of us might avail ourselves of your services. I am sure you will offer excellent services. Go, my brother and may the Lord bless the way that you take.

@swift sms. TRUTH.COM. Why do people like listening to their pastors? Our people need to start learning how to sit down, ponder and analyze situations. Jeez.

OP:
I think late marriages are good for most people these days.  Marriage can be a great blessing.  However, today, in this high-tech world most younger people do not have the patience to endure the highs and lows of marriage.  Their tension span is short and the constant need to be thrilled is deeply embedded.  From a personal stand point, I find that it is better to wait for someone who is mature and prepared for such a journey; rather than divorce or remain in an unhappy situation for years.  As a christian, the only catch to waiting is having the ability to keep oneself from fornication.

lady gogo:

@swift sms. TRUTH.COM. Why do people like listening to their pastors? Our people need to start learning how to sit down, ponder and analyze situations. Jeez.

I think (spirit-filled/led) pastors are great but some people, or christians, don't understand that the word they present to us each week is to CONFIRM what God has already spoken to us during the week-----if we are praying and reading the Holy Bible. This is how we miss God and He never intended that we have a relationship with Him thru a pastor.

Like I said previously this is a blockheaded thread, the OP lives overseas and is complaining about "late marriages",blaming it on "women ", He has not a single clue of how much financially it takes to marry and start a family,not to mention that unemployment in Nigeria is hovering at about 35-40 percent, at least I out of every 6 able bodied people are out of work, the OP needs an attitude adjustment, and he needs to punch out his pastor

Filthy hypocrite

I reckon men are behind this 'getting married late' as the OP says, most men nowadays are like i wanna have a car, a mansion and the whole wide world before getting married and they expect women to wait for them endlessly. For example, look at all the I want to get married, but is 100k per month enuff to run a family posts, mscheew, . As i clearly remember Rome was not built in a day and in cases of our parents, many of them married young and had nothing when they got married, but as time progresses, they increased financially etc, I can imagine if my parents said he wanted all the wealth of this life before getting married, would i have existed, but I thank God for my parents life today, God has really blessed them,

IfeLuvely:

I reckon men are behind this 'getting married late' as the OP says, most men nowadays are like i wanna have a car, a mansion and the whole wide world before getting married and they expect women to wait for them endlessly. For example, look at all the I want to get married, but is 100k per month enuff to run a family posts, mscheew, . As i clearly remember Rome was not built in a day and in cases of our parents, many of them married young and had nothing when they got married, but as time progresses, they increased financially etc, I can imagine if my parents said he wanted all the wealth of this life before getting married, would i have existed, but I thank God for my parents life today, God has really blessed them,

and what if your parents did not "increase financialy" like many thousands of poor families in Nigeria, you would have been recycling bottles and aluminum scraps, or hawking groundnuts in the local market

Let us hear word, typical backward mentality, little wonder so many starving children everywhere because of attitudes like yours

horny4u:

Na wah o, I liked your asking him to increase his skill but you still went ahead to attack me,

maybe because your post was kinda confusing!
you advised him to be self-employed? how? with 15k/monthly?

That my beautiful user name : hahaha
am glad the feeling is mutual and your sense of humour is 0,

i never claimed i had any humour in ma post!
this is not an audition for the next charlie chaplin!

Well man up  : I have a right to my opinions if you donot like my opinions, this is an anonymous forum and am not bothered

same applies to you, by the same token!

kabukabu:

and what if your parents did not "increase financialy" like many thousands of poor families in Nigeria, you would have been recycling bottles and aluminum scraps, or hawking groundnuts in the local market

Let us hear word, typical backward mentality, little wonder so many starving children everywhere because of attitudes like yours

N its attitude like yurs that will make you to be going to parents evening with your walking stick or on your mobility scooter, FYI not only my parents, its all other couples near them then and tbh all of them have strived really hard; by God's grace are financially increase and still increasing today

Its a complex mix.
1. The economic downtown is a major factor as it deters young men from starting families early.
2. The movement for gender equality allows more famales pursue careers and seek professional growth before marriage as oppossed to what obtained in the past.
3. Spiritual/unseen hinderances.With the increasing quest for material possesions, Godlessness and decline in their spiritual growth,many ladies are undercover brides to aquatic husbands who would ensure these babes remain single in the ethereal.
4. Greed,sugar daddy syndrome i.e aristoism ,early pregnancy etc

Many women in Naija are still single simply because their woli (so-called pastor, daddy-in-the-lord, etc.) hasn't approved their "potential husbands" yet. The same wolis that came up with the OP's theories.

horny4u:

Are you self employed ? I am !

I can tell you for free that its one of the hardest thing anyone can do, extremely hard especially at the beginning  later you begin to have time to come on Nairaland to play  , pays off financially and emotionally  but the sacrifices are crazy

You donot only motivate yourself and others , if you donot continuously  plan and create you fall behind.

With a job whether you deliver of not you get paid. If you get sacked you find another one and keep repeating same.

For free if one did not succeed at a job, they cannot succeed in business it is a different playing ground.

If someone pays you 15k its what your services are worth in his eyes, if you leave he employs someone else to do that job.

If you think you are worth more then you need to increase your services and skillz, how you do that , selling newspaper, abiola sold firewood or puff puff does not matter.

Again one's life is one's if you organise a pity party lots of pple will say sorry and get back to their life while you continue with yours

The only way to success is to be inspired and follow your hunches, hardwork and determination to put your best in all you do, prayer without all this is a waste of time.

Take it or bin it, mo se aye mi lo

I'm self-employed, so i think i can speak well on the subject. It's no different from been employed. If you work hard, you'll surely get there. It might take a while but you will, if you're ambitious.
When i started my first biz, i started with a very small amount of money and i worked very hard.
My hardwork paid off and i started the business i really wanted to do.
So, he can always start by drivin a cab, like him wanted and work his way up. It's just a matter of time.
Getting another job will frustrate him the more. He'll work harder on his own.
Besides, jobs don't grow on trees. There are thousands of graduates lookin for a job.

IfeLuvely:

N its attitude like yurs that will make you to be going to parents evening with your walking stick or on your mobility scooter, FYI not only my parents, its all other couples near them then and tbh all of them have strived really hard; by God's grace are financially increase and still increasing today

Listen,airhead , I don't have that problem,I am self made,in control of my own financial future, I am only giving you a little education on why in 2011,it is just plain dumb to go out there and impregnate a lady,and fill a house with kids without any LONG TERM PLAN.

Only a mindless dolt would put marriage before their career .Might as well get married and sit on the corner asking for handouts.

The kind of ladies we have today and financial constraints on the side of the men should be the main culprits. Also some ladies want to pursue their career while forgetting the issue of finding a man early. Too high unrealistic list of what they want in a man or what a man should have before considering marriage.

Many thanks,I have left the organization and I am starting out this year,The truth is that I need to get more skills,thanks that I have woken up from my slumber,I have saved a little and I have my brothers in the us and uk who have assisted me by giving me some cash to start the cab biz,I wont give up ,in life and will not the a captive of my enviroment,so I will start the biz soonest.I only want a car like a golf 3 which will not be more than 500k.I need suggestion of where I can get that.I am not going to be a cab driver forever but that will give me the funds to start  a  get back to school,and finish up my HND, and at the same time register at NIIT.I have got big dreams,I dont pity myself.That is the truth.



Many thanks for ur advice

'Late' is relative, I imagine. With advances in technology and what not, the window of opportunity has increased beyond what used to be typical. Most of the friends I have are also not looking to have more than two children at the most further reducing the need to get married really early. Personally, I think people who have not decided a direction for their lives and started taking steps towards actualising them have no business getting married - whether male or female.

@ kabukabu, I am using a handheld so can't really quote you. But oh please grow up!!!! Who says you cannot have a career and a family @ the same time?Females that actually think you cannot have boths @ the same time I'm sorry to say lack self discipline that is it! All the Females around me I thank God they are all good role models. They all have a job, a family with minimum of 3 kids each and most of them are still continually refreshing their brains in term of education. In some cases I know they now have 2MSc, so what are yu talking about I'm not saying its not hard, it is, but what comes easy in Life if not for God's grace? Life is definitely what you make it!

pappy2000:

Many thanks,I have left the organization and I am starting out this year,The truth is that I need to get more skills,thanks that I have woken up from my slumber,I have saved a little and I have my brothers in the us and uk who have assisted me by giving me some cash to start the cab biz,I wont give up ,in life and will not the a captive of my enviroment,so I will start the biz soonest.I only want a car like a golf 3 which will not be more than 500k.I need suggestion of where I can get that.I am not going to be a cab driver forever but that will give me the funds to start  a  get back to school,and finish up my HND, and at the same time register at NIIT.I have got big dreams,I dont pity myself.That is the truth.



Many thanks for your advice

Walahi !!!
You are a bigger person than i am, its very hard for me to swallow the truth but its the only way. You have shown courage ( no one can take that away from u, its yours) and thats a very big factor in success. Now let me help further bite me forget your brothers in US and UK location no matter. About where you can find golf you my do a google search or go to Nairaland Auto or owode idiroko, but no one will take your hand and show you (not meant in a bad way), because people are busy with their own lives, so what do you do 

No 1: Your intuition (See it as a phone reciever that your creator uses to communicate back to you) it is ALWAYS right

No 2: Courage and Action

No 3: Nuture Most Relationships ( locally called connection , internationally refered to as networking, everybody is connected be kind n nice to all, maybe a passenger in your cab will mention something that will change your life)


No 4: Self motivation and empowerment ( No one will dash you N10,000 every month especially as a man  , so you got to brain storm , see problems as opportunity, wake up at 5am , jump out of bed, say thanks to baba and get moving towards the plans you wrote down yesterday.)


No 5: Knowledge ( books books books, read read read, lol, read up on several topics especially on autobiography of entreprenuers R Branson, D Bannatyne -he started his empire at past 30 yrs. P Green, start with Rich Dad Poor Dad, The secret, the power of your subconsious mind-dr joseph, 7 secrets of highly effective people, , you donot have to buy, you can borrow or buy fairly used. Donot limit to just the above please, realise that any problem you are facing someone else has been there and he has written a book about it, even for how to wash plates there is a book, 



No 6: Always think outside the box, someone mentioned advertising on nairaland, FAB!!!!!
Take it a step further , open a thread on Nairaland and write about your diary as a NL cab driver, be trustworthy and let it show , pple are scared of kidnappers once they know they can trust you and you are accountable they will pay a little extra.
Take it another step up, open a facebook and twitter page and update when you are in traffic , that will draw traffic to your page and make you popular as a taxi driver and again trustworthy it will lead to more customers.people will pay a lil extra for that.
when you pick a passenger ask them what music they prefer and if you have it play it, they will ask for your number and refer pple to you.
Keep your eye on the NIIT still. u cannot drive cab 4ever

The above helps with number 3



No 7: Find a good woman, I did not say start a family, nothing motivates a man like wanting to provide and protect the woman he loves  i have seen it change so many men's lives, i wonder why men think they are better of being single,    A good woman will up your ego , pray for you, massage you, dream with you and most importantly stimulate your imagination with what you wish you could do, wishes come true.



No 8: Gratitude   - Greatatitude! Whatever you get be greatatitude for it never let dissapointment or a spiteful customer make life tire you. If a customer cuss you say eiyah maybe they are having a bad day, but me i am having a good day.



No 9: Tithe - Do pple still pay tithe in this day and age, LMAO, personally my tithe goes directly to red cross or any charity helping the needy. Its a principle give and ye shall recieve, [s]am not religious o just sharing with u what works for me[/s]  giving helps you to feel abundant but you must give it cheerfully.

JD Rofella , J penny were tithers, Warren B, B Gate are givers , All rich people give loads and cheerfully
in spite of what people think, most poor pple are stingy, another bitter truth , tight fist brings poverty all the time.


No 10: Pray, ask and ye shall be giving, No one prays like Nigerians so no need to go into that, Just remember heaven is not deaf , no need to deafen heaven , no shouting, But ultimately the way you pray is up to you.
I believe prayer is thot so what your thot dwells on is your prayer, you cannpt pick and choose when you want heaven to hear you, they are listening in heaven ALL THE TIME, keep your thots prosperous,

I hope i have been able to help without sounding condescending ( I actually admire you alot and wish you the very best)

^^

That was very wonderful, thanks for helping a fellow brother with that write-up . . .though intended for adeola but it is definitely useful for uche and mustapha.

i love nairaland!

@ horny4u

Many thanks,the Lord will be with u.I thank u and the others, God bless u all

fuugee:

Its a complex mix.
1. The economic downtown is a major factor as it deters young men from starting families early.
2. The movement for gender equality allows more famales pursue careers and seek professional growth before marriage as oppossed to what obtained in the past.
3. Spiritual/unseen hinderances.With the increasing quest for material possesions, Godlessness and decline in their spiritual growth,many ladies are undercover brides to aquatic husbands who would ensure these babes remain single in the ethereal.
4. Greed,sugar daddy syndrome i.e aristoism ,early pregnancy etc

Your point 3 & 4 has K-Leg. This are what forces them to get married just to 'save face' after the end of paroles and all that.

I Love Nairalanders,including 190 and co, they make my day spin when i am down. I love motivation.

pappy2000:

@ horny4u

Many thanks,the Lord will be with u.I thank u and the others, God bless u all

You are a great guy !!!

horny4u

Those write up make sense, you do well my sister.

Q: What is behind late marriages for women?!

A: Na by fire by force to get married. If lady doesnt want to get married, they nag and cajole and in extreme cases, marry her without her presence or knowledge (AWOL style). Just to achieve what?!,
Abeg these pastors should read 1 Corinthians 7v6. It applies to all. After that read 1 John 4v1. After that read 2 John 1v10. After that pipe down and let them be.

What exactly are you getting at?
The above scriptures have no bearing to your post nor the thread.
Please be concise.

The truth of the matter is women have been given this much freedom that they indulge in it and forget their priorities.Only a wee bit of them can settle down with a struggling young man rather they prefer being mistresses of some shameless old pot belly man.In this present age,i think so many women have lost it.You definitely cannot compare it to the days of our mothers.

MIrhABi:

The truth of the matter is women have been given this much freedom that they indulge in it and forget their priorities.Only a wee bit of them can settle down with a struggling young man rather they prefer being mistresses of some shameless old pot belly man.In this present age,i think so many women have lost it.You definitely cannot compare it to the days of our mothers.

the solution will come when men change their demands on women to be submissive. if that happens, women will not mind marrying a struggling man.
until that day comes, most financially independent women have no other choice than to remain single or marry a richer man who they can be submissive to.

because it is impossible to be submissive to a man who is poorer than you. how can a woman sweat to earn money and at the end of the day, the husband (who is not earning anything) has control over all the decisions. won't the woman rather be single and have control over her own life?
and wait till she can find a rich man to marry then ehn ehn you can be satisfied to be a submissive wife. at least the husband will take care of her and she may not even have to work.  so it's easy to be submissive to a rich man.

but for the struggling guy, abeg find a job if you want a submissive wife. otherwise, women will continue to marry late.

at least Nigerian population will decrease small 

@horny4u.
U are a smart chick indeed.trust me if more naija females were like u,this thread may not have arisen .i.e more babes will see themselves as
productive entities rather than helpless puppies.
God bless u.

Jenifa_:

the solution will come when men change their demands on women to be submissive. if that happens, women will not mind marrying a struggling man.
until that day comes, most financially independent women have no other choice than to remain single or marry a richer man who they can be submissive to.

because it is impossible to be submissive to a man who is poorer than you. how can a woman sweat to earn money and at the end of the day, the husband (who is not earning anything) has control over all the decisions. won't the woman rather be single and have control over her own life?
and wait till she can find a rich man to marry then ehn ehn you can be satisfied to be a submissive wife. at least the husband will take care of her and she may not even have to work.  so it's easy to be submissive to a rich man.

but for the struggling guy, abeg find a job if you want a submissive wife. otherwise, women will continue to marry late.

at least Nigerian population will decrease small 

I beg to differ with somethings, I donot think the problem is who is richer or poorer, I think its ambitious, wise and a smart decision maker and taker, a fearless Alpha male,

I love money too much  BUT i know lots of guys that married their wives richer than they are but today the Guys are commanding money, Its the potential !!!

If you see a man who has hustler potential, good attitude and hopefully education to back it up, trust me, his millions are already there just not yet visible to the naked eyes.

I agree its almost impossible to be submissive to a lazy man , I for one its a deal breaker I love the idea of a man waking up before me, when  ideas come our way he actions them with tenacity and guides me with his vast knowledge , those stuff turn me right on.

I can submit to a man without a lot of money but lots of hustler spirit, but i can never submit or respect a lazy man, just not in my DNA.

fuugee:

@horny4u.
U are a smart chick indeed.trust me if more naija females were like u,this thread may not have arisen .i.e more babes will see themselves as
productive entities rather than helpless puppies.
God bless u.

Thanks for the kind words my brother

Lots of 9ja babes better than me , and some are still single.

The problem is this gals compete with the TV at home and the printer in the office : they donot go out, but as a Man please source them out, men need women and vis a vis.

May the Almighty bless you too.