₦airaland Forum

ststyreal:
What actually is his offence? I no he doesn't insults people, so why did they ban him? I will really appreciate your response.. thanks

My dear I don't know. But from what I've read here it seems he was banned for derailing threads with his preaching.

Like I said all he has to do is to mail the mods and they'll unban him.

Sixfeetbelle:
I'm stubborn on certain things but I've learnt to bend if the situation demands it. Most times, I don't get enough reason to compromise, so...

When it concerns love, however, me not compromising is because I haven't found love yet. Once I do, I'm sure my second name will turn to 'compromise'. I think I can do anything for love.

Easier said than done.

Sixfeetbelle:
I said I'd pay back nah. Didn't you see it?

That's what modern trend in marriages entail. Forget manipulation. If duties are shared 50/50 then there's no longer "his money is my money". Everybody will have their money to theirselves and for the home. If you borrow, you pay back.


This your Igbo sef. Forget story. I'm only a talk and do person if my husband will be insistent like Op is being, otherwise, he will have a happy home

Hmmm...ok o.

Tho you sound stubborn to me.

More like a hard nut to crack, not easily bent and won't compromise not even for love. Am I wrong?

Fvckhypocrite:
same here

Nice meeting u!

You too...

daga ina kike

callmeRichie:
Was just thinking about it right now, do u think it's healthy and ideal to ask for ur partner's body count??

Most especially as a guy now (cuz babes literally don't give much fvck about it), is it ideal to ask for ur babe's body count??

Yes.. you deserve to know.

lefulefu:
better no upload any pix
the last guy yesterday that did such recieved enuf hateful bashing

The guy turn motivational speaker beging preach for Nairaland guys. Chie I laf soty my voice crack

Fvckhypocrite:
abokina ba damuwa

Whc state u base?

Lagos

5hanklee:
You don't need to tell me how I'll be bashed for doing this. I probably won't give a fcck.


Well, dont mind my shade and crazy jean 8
. I hardly dress this way. From the scale of 1to5, kindly rate this picture. Insult is allowed.

What happened to you bro?

Sixfeetbelle:
I'd agree to it because I have the same thought towards him too. Sharing financial responsibilities at home means that no one party stays to be receiving money just because. That's what modern marriages imply sha

You're so funny...you women that are naturally manipulative in nature agree to it.

Pay your husband back the money her gives you.

biko ka m nuru okwu, umu nwanyi na-ekwu otutu okwu mana mgbe oge ruru ime ihe, i hapuru ya di gi ma gwa ya na obu ya

Sixfeetbelle:
I don't quite get you.

Repeat the question with a sentence or two.

Ok....

How would you feel if you run into financial crisis and approach your husband for relief and he tells you that he's giving you the money you requested for on the grounds that you'll pay him back because the financial responsibilities in the home has been shared?

Fvckhypocrite:
Bro advice that gyal never to carry her madness near my mentions

If u wan make we vibe i dey ready
If u wan make we show our abnormality i dey ready so let her choose one

Na san yadda kake ji, Ni mutum ne kamar kai, yana jayayya da wata mace wacce za ta iya zama 'yar uwarka ba ta da kyau. ku kyale shi kawai

Sixfeetbelle:
If he has a problem, he has to borrow from me if we have defined financial roles, which ordinary shouldn't happen if I'm to help around the house. It's a house I belong to, yes, but since I already covered my own part of the deal, if he needs financial help, he has to borrow it. It's that simple.

Giving him without expecting a refund is like me taking up more financial roles. And how long do I need to do this till he gets back to his feet? A year? Five years? See, anytime someone has to take up more financial roles than they normally do, it usually takes them digging into their 'emergency saving' and they would want it back. Marriage is a partnership doesn't mean everybody has to be a fool.

But it would be totally ok for him to assist you with you repaying if reverse is the case right?

Fvckhypocrite:
Abokina

Gara ka bata shawara

don Allah da ita mace ce

Fvckhypocrite:
Jahili

dan uwana yayi kyau. ta yaya zaka iya rigima da mace

kowa a nan yazo yake da nishadi don haka dakatar da ɗaukar abubuwa na sirri.

fati2001:
sheyai sa nah chia.. kai fadama uwarka mai siyarr de gidin ta... kafui ta chi abichi...

ta bar karuwachi..ba apanni arrchi .

mai yin fyade.

masoyina yana da kyau don Allah ka barshi shi kadai

Sixfeetbelle:
Why are you going off tangent? I'm being practical here and I need a practical solution too.

Which mindset do I need to work on? How am I being self centered? I like being realistic so please humor me. If most of my salary go into the running of the home as do my husbands, whose will he borrow when the need arises?

You're the one going off point.

So where will your salary go if not your home?

And why should your husband borrow money from you to run a home which you belong to?

If he tells you his problem and you remain mute waiting for him to borrow from you doesn't that make you self centered?

What stops you from cutting the cost of the household expenses and supporting him however you can without asking for a refund pending when he'll get back on his feet?

If you the one who runs into financial crisis and he gives you money and asks you to pay him back how would you react, wouldn't you call him a stingy fellow and all manner of degoratory names?

Why must everything be about you?

Sixfeetbelle:
But I won't have the money to sort it out. That's the point here!

Normally, I would have the money if my sibling was the only one taking care of everything before that incident. But since I share the responsibilities with him, I won't.

Lol...you ladies are so funny and self centered. This your answer is the reason why so many marriages crash before it even begins.

Work on your mindset. If you don't know the meaning of sacrifice then there's no need going into marriage. Just become a career person have a kid or two and live your life happily.

Take your December salary. Everything to your pastor as seed and he'll go into serious prayers. By January he'll be able to locate it for you.

Sixfeetbelle:
I need you to see this from my point of view without breaking a sweat, alright? I need you to reason with me here, and not get too involved, okay? Good.

He wants her to have specific roles, and she wants to help out if need arises. That's the fact on this post. Another fact is that he plans to invest in her business so she will have the money to take up predetermined roles in the home, while she plans to use the money from the business to help out if the home needs it.

Let's keep this in mind too.

If we go by your marriage is one and there's no selfishness mantra, we understand that he wanting her to have specific roles will ultimately stop her from helping out if need arises because she already has a predetermined role to achieve by the end of the month. And if her savings is going to these roles, she won't have extra to 'step in and help' when it calls for it. See my point.

So I reiteriate my question thus:

What happens to that divided responsibilities and roles peradventure he becomes broke? Will she be expected to take up his roles also in the time being till he comes back to his feet? Will she be capable and willing to?

You're still moving in circles.

Let me make it very easy for you so you'll understand much better.

You're living with your sibling, both of you agreed to contribute to pay the house rent, and some other bills. Then your sibling looses his/her job, as a person would you turn a blind eye to his/her predicament and demand his/her divided share of the agreed contribution or would you sort it out yourself since you have the money and you know they don't have it at the moment?

Kindly answer that question directly without beating around the bush.

Sixfeetbelle:
She already said she'd help around the house, without having that stipulated responsibilities hanging over her head. But if his idea of investing in her business is to assign specific roles to her, then he should invest it in himself and leave her be. I hope he knows if he ever goes broke, he shouldn't expect her to bail his ass out.




You didn't answer this question.

And what happens to that divided responsibilities and roles peradventure he becomes broke? Will she be expected to take up his roles also in the time being till he comes back to his feet? Will she be capable and willing to?

Do you even understand the meaning of marriage?

Or don't see where it's clearly written in your Bible that the two become one. Meaning if one party is down the other must support and encourage the other party till he/she gets back on their feet.

Or you think marriage is all about you?

Do you think marriage is easy in Nigeria? You ladies just want to get married but have no clue or idea of what marriage is all about.

Even if you're earning up to 500k per month, by the time you remove household expenses from that money you'll discover that you need help and when your wife isn't willing to come into the picture for reasons best know to her isn't that selfishness?

Like I said if the woman in question isn't ready to assist the home, then there's no need for the man to invest in her period.

Wetlink:
I should never ever quote you on a public forum?
You think this is your bedroom?
Are you okay at all?

You type utter nonsense and say I shouldn't quote you because you are who?

Move away abeg.

Yes never quote me cos you lack comprehension skills, and I don't have that time to keep explaining to you when what I wrote I there for you to read.

Next time learn to read and understand before objecting to what a person says. Speaking without understanding makes you sound foolish.

Wetlink:
Wow, just wow!

So you think men who don't cheat do so because their wives contribute financially

Nothing wey person no go see for Nairaland

Never ever quote me if you don't understand the context of my post...I don't have the strength to keep explaining myself over and over again.

Go back to my conversation with her and read the replies it's so easy.

Nellyfrancis157:
Please somebody should adopt me,i'm in bayelsa,my mum is poor and i don't know how i'll cope when school resumes.I'm a boy and please i used a button fone to type dis,im not on wassap

How old are you?

fati2001:
what is the weirdest thing you have seen in someone else's home?

Why did you change your gender to M ?

Following

A nàked female painting on the wall

Sixfeetbelle:
Even without being a housewife, a woman can help around the house and pick up financial responsibilities which Op's girlfriend already said she'd do. Why does he need her to pick up stipulated responsibilities, i.e. having divided financial roles? And what happens to that divided responsibilities and roles peradventure he becomes broke? Will she be expected to take up more roles in the time being? Will she agree to it willingly?


I ask this cause I notice men are always eager to push for the 50/50 financial role in the home but fail to imagine what the wife might do if he can't cover his own part of the expenses.

He needs her to pickup stipulated financial roles because he's planning on investing a reasonable amount of money on her. Or didn't you read that part?

If she wants to remain a housewife, then there's no need for him to spend such money on her. He can use it to expand his business then use the proceedings to take care of her and the family.

The reason he's investing so much on her is because he wants financial relief, someone that can help him absorb petite domestic responsibilities.

Sixfeetbelle:
How am I selfish if my husband wants a housewife? Or I accept to be a housewife? That's who I am, a very traditional lady. That you don't agree to it doesn't make me selfish, rather it makes you a stiff, rigid person. In olden days, men had housewives without having problems in their marriage or cheating on their wives like you said, because the essence behind having that kind of marriage is for an "ego-filled" man to exercise their authority as "man of the house" and It works for them perfectly.

He will become a chronic cheat because I'm not taking up financial responsibilities in the house? Really? Wait let me ask you, Is it in modern marriages that cheats aren't possible? You're just looking to score cheap points.

Ok... sorry.

Stick to your choice as a housewife. If that's your decision, who am I to challenge it.

BaddieFreak:
I was molested as a kid when I was six by a grown man 45-50 years. Before that incident, my father had left my mom when she was pregnant with me.

So I grew up without a father. I only grew up with my step dad who also harrased me sexually and regularly beat my mom to stupor. I got disgusted by any male, regardless of their age, after that. When I was in secondary school, a boy had a crush on me and confessed, and I hated him for that.

Anyone who confessed his love to me would disgust me. As I grew older and reached my teenage years, my friends would start talking about boys, and I would get left out since the topic wouldn’t interest me and I would walk out of the conversation.

As time passed, my desire to be in a relationship grew, but I couldn’t find a stunning guy I’d like to be involved with.

So I tried to start a relationship with men. I met this entrepreneur who made a decent living, had a 10/10 personality, is accepting, loving, responsible, initiative, young, rich, works out, has a six-pack, eats healthy food, travels but I couldn't feel any thing for him so I left.

I met another guy like that. He was arrogant and proud and was used to women chasing after him. I liked his carefree personality but disliked his irresponsible ways. He was more like a typical hooligan, too immature and irresponsible.

Even though I liked him, I decided that I wouldn’t date him since I thought being in a relationship would force me to be vulnerable and I wasn’t ready to be vulnerable with anyone, so I left him.

I met one or two handsome guys who were extremely rude and arrogant, self-centered, and expect the world to revolve around them. I immediately dismissed them.


I am surprised by women who fall in love with every single guy they meet all the time. Does anyone have a similar experience? How do you treat my case?

You can fall in love.

But first you have to make peace with your past by forgiving the man who molested you, forgive your dad and step dad, forgive every man in your life that offended you one way or the other.

Once you do this, you'll be at peace with yourself, having zero grudges against anyone.

Then you can give your suitors a chance.

Sixfeetbelle:
But some men can shoulder all of the responsibilities without the woman lifting a finger. Does that make them selfish?

Besides, not everyone is on the same financial strength and not everyone would support wife lifting a finger, no matter the financial expenses involved and that's a fact.

If that's your mindset then you're selfish.

Besides any man doing such would be a chronic cheat. Mark my words, what makes men responsible is the role of the woman in their lives.

I've seen men who send their wives abroad and spend their life here in Nigeria sampling various vaginas. They feel the woman has nothing to offer them aside birth their kids.

If all you do is to open your legs and pop out children, why should he be faithful to you when you're not adding value to his life?

It's common sense.