₦airaland Forum

pinkycute:
To be sincere I never knew that, until I came in well, my God is on my side oooo

pinkycute:
Omo @Op, nah Russia own, worst pass oooo
The embarrassment, dead, and discrimination, we dark-skinned people face everyday in Russia, is extremely horrible
Infact" everyday is a Thanksgiving if we dark-skinned people are alive in Russia, because living ur house for work and come back peacefully, is a thin of joy
Well, I just pray I round up quickly, to return to my mother land oooo
Dere is nothing like home!!....

tosyne2much:
[i]

That awkward moment when you invite a lady to your house and she calls to remind you that NO SEX oooooo

That awkward moment when a lady visits you and you never made advances, only for her to tell you on her way home that you are not man enough

That awkward moment when you have sent a lady numerous Pms but no response, only for you to quote her and she exposes you to all Nairalanders

That awkward moment when you are about calling your crush and the call tarrif rises to 40kb

That awkward moment when you finally summon the courage to ask her out and she introduces you to her bf ooooooh goooosh !!!

Dotwillis1:
i jst feel this r some things that happens and you get really awkward with. Some are from experience tho!

'that awkward moment wen a gurl accidentally touches yur d*ck and u pretend lik it didnt happen
that awkward moment wen a girl reply ur compliments wit 'k' (this sucks)

awkward moment when u alighted from a bus with the girl u'v just exchanged numbers with, then u realize she has a 'k leg
(WTF!)

that awkward moment wen u'v just toasted a girl on phone, then later u start remeberin what u ought to have said

that awkward moment wen ur eyes met with that girl u have a crush with, jst the moment u were picking your nose

that awkward moment wen someone says you v food wedges in between ur teeth

that awkward moment wen u go for a hug but she go for a handshake

that awkward moments wen u dey snap pix wit a lady and u noticed ur 'tin' dey rise

that awkward moment wen u always noticing that same guy hanging around ur crush

awkward moment wen u posted a nice picture on FB and no single 'like'

that awkard moment wen u v been expectin a message from her, then ur phone finaly beeps; sms from 5031 (those stupid mtn ppl en..)

that awkward moment wen you both say how are u? At the same time and respond 'fine' at same time (this normaly happens)

that awkward moment wen u accidentally touches a lady's butt nd u don't no if u should say sorry

awkward moment wen u v bn planning and rehearsing on wat to say and u end up sayin something different (common)

that awkward moment wen a girl come to u for explanation on a particular topic in school, something u don't even know

awkward moment wen u send ur 'hi' to ha on watsapp but no response and she's frequent online

that awkward moment wen u tell a very funny joke (u think it is), and no one laughs

ever experienced any of this?
Add yours!!

insidifyguru:
It is terrible enough that you had to spend so much time collecting sample CVs from friends, downloading a ton of CV templates on the internet and manipulating them to suit your profile.
What is more frustrating is not getting invited for the interview after doing a heck of a good job on the CV. That simply kills!

Well, maybe you didn’t do such a good job after all. These are the six things you should not put on a job-landing CV:

1. Do not write Curriculum Vitae on top of the document
You should not put on your CV a big advert that says the name of the document. Recruiters already know what a CV looks like. Do not try to tutor them like kids in elementary school. This will only deduct points off your sheet.

2. Do not make anything come before your name
Absolutely nothing! The recruiter wants to meet you and his first interaction with you is your CV. You should not put on your CV things like contact details and date of birth before your name. Basic details, yes, only basic details e.g. phone number and email address should appear after your name.

3. Do not muddle the sections up
You should not put on your CV a jigsaw puzzle. Outline and arrange properly each section with relevant information only. Relevant information only!

4. Do not play down your strong points
You should put on your CV, things that display your skills and project you in a good light. If you do not blow your trumpet, who will? Dettol certainly won’t do that for you. Your skill is what employers are looking for.

5. Do not be passive
Use action statements like ‘Properly coordinated a team… ‘, ‘Structured and conceptualized a business model…, ‘Proactive and team spirited in nature…’, etc. Let them know your strengths. You should not put on your CV statements that sound passive.

6. Do not turn your CV into a novel
Make everything short, crisp and straight to the point. Your CV would only last between 5-20 seconds in the hands of the recruiter. Do not write lengthy essays. Be succinct, use bullet points to highlight those achievements that can catch the recruiter’s eye.

Then, hope for the best!

Culled from http://www.insidify.com/discovery/do-not-put-these-6-things-on-your-cv.

5.00GPA:
Lamentation of Nche. But it won't stop your people from trooping down to Lagos, Ibadan, Ogun.

5.00GPA:
I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE EPISTLE YOU WROTE UP THERE. INCOHERENT COMMENTS.

5.00GPA:
WILL THIS NEWS STOP ANAMBRA CITIZENS (IBO ) FROM TROOPING DOWN TO LAGOS,IBADAN, OGUN (SOUTH WEST) TO SURVIVE?

Bigsteveg: Do u mas*turbate before?

Dubby6: Na man oo....

temigracie: ....u sound like one broke ass guy....he dey pain u because one gurl don turn to mugu b4 abi?.....honesty,u r a**hole for real

mencade5: how u dey na? May i talk to you for a minute?

jaylorde: Lolz,d retarded seniors dare nt try dat wt me.I was sent on a mission impossible like dat and It was #100 given to me.I chop d money den ran away.she saw me after 3 days

berem: A whole America does not know where Chibok girls are? Impossicant!
I smell a dead ant!

king_bella: Have you met me?

delishpot: Lol game over, how you want face my people now?

Ha ha last laugh You joining me down there man, see ya soon.

delishpot: there is God. Oya na enter go sidon for that side, no not there!*******To the left ehen! *****Yes, right beside the cow. Good. happy now? #Paybackforthehotslaps.

lat4real: Mikel Obi, is that you?

delishpot: Go back. Spaceship don full.
We no want extras.

aManFromMars: They can afford to do that over there. They reward patriotism.

Back in Nigeria, to be a patriot is to yearn for poverty. Mediocrity is rewarded and honoured. Be a militant and earn salary from the government. Dine with them at Aso Rock.

Crooks get pardons. Our soldiers are slaughtered daily by Boko haram..


*goes back to spaceship, will be back to continue my rant*