₦airaland Forum

Dfavouredone:
I was schedule for 9th of June, but will be busy that period. pls, is it possible i reschedule?

No. I'm afraid you cannot reschedule. Please make it on your assigned date

ghostmist:
Have been checking and re-checking my mail for the past 2hrs,yet no sign of any mail from NLNG.pls house,i'd like to confirm if everyone who received the success mail after the SHL got the assessment center invite.

Inbox me your name please

maikux:
pls r u 4 8th June cos I thought d AC will start by 16th abuja or s dere anybody scheduled b4 den. so no any form of attachment from dem as regards what to expect?

AC starts on June 8

c5zar:
please can you kindly inbox me the number i would like to get some info, please help a brother out.
thanks

what info do you require?

prelinctus:
Do you have any idea on the number of AC candidates?

I do. unfortunately I will be unable to disclose that. it's a distraction; just focus and believe that even if it's a million people you are competing with, you will make it.

prelinctus:
So apparently, this AC is going to last for more than a month.

The AC will be spread between the months of June- August

Please disregard the emails you have received bearing someone else's name. it will be cleared up and you will receive another mail soon.

i have a step mum. she's wonderful.Its just difefrent strokes for different folks i guess.

After heart surgery, a man told his doctor that his wife was afraid to have sex with him. The doctor assured him that it would do him no harm.
The patient asked him to give it to him in writing, and the doctor wrote furiously and gave it to him. It said, "Dear Mrs. Smith, your husband is in such remarkable good physical condition, I wouldn't be surprised if he could not make love two or three times every night" The patient was
delighted, but requested a small amendment. "Could you take out
Mrs.Smith, and make it -to whom it may concern?"

My problem with this country is the unreasonable respect we give to religious leaders,christian and muslim. I'm sick and tired of hearing "don't talk like that to the man of God".u wey dey talk, u be man of devil? under the guise of religion, these so-called 'men of God' have wrecked so much havoc. whats our problem? i partially agree with the guy that said religion has destroyed Africa. u can imagine a governor who stole money, was arrested abroad, jumped bail, sneaked into the country disguised as a woman and still had the guts to say he returned by miracle. "God brought me home" what the f**K? we are so, so hypocritical in this country and it makes me sick to my stomach. we commit every attrocity under the sun in the name of God. now someone has decided to discriminate against HIV patients in the name of God. what next are we going to do in His name?

@ poster

u are the 'oko'of which 'baba'? i need to solve that riddle first before i comment on your deluded post,

some people say football is a matter of life and death.
i don't agree.
i think it is much more serious than that,

October 4th. any takers?

no no no!

A Principal employed a literature teacher to handle JSS 3 students in
readiness for their JSCE so he takes them in English Language;
The Principal was going on his routine checks to ensure that the students are being well taught. On this occasion the teacher was teaching
them Comparatives and Superlatives.
So he talked and they followed him
Teacher; Tall
Students; Taller, Tallest
Teacher; Big
Students; Bigger, Biggest
Teacher; small
Students; smaller, smallest
The principal repeated what the teacher was said
Principal ; Tall
Students ; Taller, Tallest
Principal; Big
Students; Bigger, Biggest
Principal; small
Students; smaller, smallest
He nodded his head in satisfaction (saying good)
Students; Gooder! Goodest
Principal; No!!!
Students; Noer! Noest!!
Principal; Stop
Students; Stoper! Stopest!!
Principal; Haba!
Students; Habbier, Habbiest!!
Principal: Shu!
Students; Shueer! Shueest!!,
The class teacher fainted straight out!

AV A NICE WEEKEND

of course she's cheating! brother, what kind of question is that? a married woman writes "i love u, i miss u" to another man and u think they discuss global warming when they're together? she's definitely cheating. how to handle it is the issue. since she listens to u, u have to sit her down. she has to sever all ties to 'Jack' if she wants her marriage to survive. even if she confesses to u, maybe u shouldn't tell ur brother cos its better if he stays in his state of denial while she cuts everything off and re-dedicates herself to him.
its a very,very delicate issue and i really don't envy u now but good luck!

ok. lets take ur word for it that u're not an alien and u're not a ritual killer. what makes u so sure that the person that eventually contacts u is not one of the above? u just wanna move in with anyone?
tell us ur REAL motives bro.

thanks, crazy,

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down in the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. "Yes", he replied.

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter

went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.

"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, "Oh, forgive me, Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Then if I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, and I love my wife such that I don't want her to share me with anyone, so THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honourable reason, and for the benefit of others, mostly his wife.
That's our story (that is a man's point of view), and we're sticking to it.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do
you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below,

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met
by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you
still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"


BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife
on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome.
Since both ultimately result in death.

ol boy, u are not stupid. but seriously, u committed a grievous error. I understand the babe perfectly. How can u claim to care for someone when u can't even be bothered to learn the pronunciation of her name? Even polish names with consonant clusters like 'Rczxyakpturgd' can be learnt!

spoilt:
@poster

my opinion which is debatable is that you should accept the job. work something out. shuttling for a while wont hurt, though it may be expensive. make the best of your weekends. weekends no cell phones,no interlopers.its family time. that is not negotiable. your husband is supportive( that's the jackpot right there!) many husbands arent.

u too get sense!

Everbright:
@ topic,you are feeling thios way because you've not started yet. I bet you when you start in ernest it won't be as bad as you think.
I know of a colleague doing thesame,sure it's stressfull but it's really working.Try it and ask for transfer atfer a while.
Goodluck

good talk!
obviously everybody here knows the real world and how it works, except militia!babe,get a life.

me think that MILITIA's grip on reality is very feeble. Calling Nigeria an African Jungle just cos u've found ur way to America is very disheartnening. At the risk of being called arrogant, i can tell u confidently that many of us have stayed back and made it and we're better off than many people in foreign lands working two or three jobs to survive.we travel from time to time and see what many nigerians are going thru over there.although we can't blame u guys for leaving cos we know the situation here cos the fact is that majority of nigerians still live in poverty but i don't think it's a funny issue (i counted 11 smileys in ur post) and i certainly don't think u have the right to call your country a jungle (if indeed u are nigerian).

@ poster,
do what u gotta do to take care of your family.Go for the job in lagos. This too,shall pass.

[

nossycheek:
You wan try? Check am now. Just let me be. Whether I am an Islamic basher is non of your business, at least I have kept your comrade babs787 in check and he has remained in the cooler ever since even though he threatened fire and brimstone we never see him breaklight.

Babe, no be fight. that u are an islam basher is my business cos this is a public board and that's the impression u've given me. i've got a right to tell u my impressions.i haven't posted a single message in over a month so how i dey stalk u? just as u mentioned babs787 now as an example, that's exactly how i mentioned u as an example.chikena! wetin cause fight inside?

wahala dey o! which one concern dance with 'action'. they're two different things oh! there are many other
ways to build stamina. make una no spoil market for those of us that have two left feet o!

nossycheek:
Na wao. O boy you dey trip for me? I tire for you ooh. Stop stalking me, my friend, I am haram to you

stalk you ke? na so u fine reach?

gochi,

can u recommend good stock brokers? my stockbroker is an idiot.

nope. nothing wrong with quotes. it's the things u say my guy.

davidylan et al,

so u guys are still at it? for u to focus so much time and energy on Islam bashing, muslims must be doing something right. David in particular talks as if he will personally handpick those to go to Heaven.
Well, let's see where all this ya Islambash wahala will lead u and ur girls (nossy and baby) to.
Carry go.