₦airaland Forum

The offence you committed cannot be resolved by you alone because each time they see you their hearts turn black. infact a mere sight of you could make them angry for a whole day.
I think you need intercessors to win your family and your loved ones back and some of your family members will have to intercede on your behalf by God's grace.
The question is how do you win them over to help you plead with the rest?

First, if you know your cousins very well to the extent of knowing who they love and respect so much that is not related to you(might be pastor,priest, employer, partner etc) approach the person explain everything in all sincerity and ask them to plead on your behalf to any of your cousins he/she has bond/relationship with.
Each of your cousins can be approached differently by people you feel they respect

Repeat the same for your uncle, find someone you know he is very loyal to, explain to the person too, then drop a convincing and touching apology for your uncle(in writing) which the person will hand over to him when he notices your uncle has started developing a soft spot.

Next, try to reach your uncle's wife in person and cry out to her, she has been hurt and given bad names in the past just because of you and no matter how mad she reacts don't give up and don't hold back your tears when talking to her so she can feel your pains.

I don't think if at least 2 of your cousins will soften and plead with their father, he won't listen considering that he has some one he respects pleading with him on your behalf.it will be hard for him but he will soften and if his wife finally forgives you then that makes it more easy for him to forgive.

Note: you need time and patience to achieve this and Pray before you embark on this for God to touch the hearts of those you will meet to intercede for you and also soften the hearts of your relatives.
Also, DO NOT start this journey if you still doubt your change, I suggest you work more on yourself before you start.(that is if you doubt your change in character)

If you can achieve this, be rest assured your own family will accept you with the intercession of your uncle and his family

When everyone accepts you, you have to bear one thing in mind that some of them will still judge you with your past anytime you have issues with them, be it your relatives or immediate family so I advice you should avoid troubles even if you are right just overlook it so you won't be hurt with words. You can also gain respect by distancing your self reasonably and always be productive. For the fact they forgave you does not mean they should be seeing you everyday(they as well want to know how productive and responsible you are and if you are able to show it, their respect for you will grow).

As for you kids, always pray for them and when you can have access to them, try at least to make them forgive you then work on them accepting you as their mother.

Lastly you still have a great future at 31 and there's alot of time for you to achieve a great life just work towards bringing out the best in you and don't forget to pray always.

What about considering the mini bus and putting it up for high purchase?

Jomandi13:
Point of correction,the Architect is the head of the construction team.Without his design the structural,electrical and mechanical can not produce its own drawings and specifications.However,without the Architect drawings the QS can not prepare BOQ.Simple no long story.

You are absolutely right because the design is the Architect's idea except in steel and engineering designs where the structural engineer replaces the role of the Architect.

JMEN:
Am a Quantity surveyor chat me 08033574397 for what you ask 30m can do if land is already there and again depending on the location of the work and how big the shop would be...I have done similar estimate. I also design structures in other words am also an architect.

This your advert is unethical in the built environment. Are you a structural and M&E engineer too?
This won't take you anywhere except you learn how to package.
A lot of professionals claim to also do what other professionals do which is very BAD.

Maybe you should rephrase your comment to " you are ___________ development consultants which consists of engineers, Architects and Quantity surveyors.you render services like project designs, costing etc.
Sound professional if you want to be jack of all trades if not you will only be beating round the bush and your hustle won't yeild results.

First, a lot of factors can affect the cost of a building project. I always advice people not to follow what people tell them about price of a project except the two project are the same in size and finishes.(some will say their friend/brother built 4 bedroom duplex with 20million so their own 4:bedroom in the same location should be the same amount but they always forget that floor areas of their friend/brother may not be the same with theirs
One of the powerful items that affect cost of a project is floor area so that brings the question of what could be the floor area of each store.(this can be used to give you an approximate estimate).

The best way you can resolve this is by consulting QUANTITY SURVEYOR who will use the structural and architectural designs to make a BILL OF QUANTITIES(
One of the advantages it has is that you get to know the probable cost of your project before you begin and this can tell if you are ready to execute the project financially thereby saving you from unexpected cash-strapping which can make you abandon the project). should incase you have not made the drawings yet there is what we call designing to a cost in cost planning and control which the QUANTITY SURVEYOR guides the Architect and Structual engineer to create a design to fit in to the clients budget(the clients budget should be reasonable)

Apart from making a BILL OF QUANTITIES, a QUANTITY SURVEYOR has other important roles to play in your project such as feasibility and viability study, cost analysis and control, project management etc.

Please avoid any advice that is not from a QUANTITY SURVEYOR as it may lead you to going bankrupt before you roof your project.

adexpa:
Your idea is a good one op, my father is that kind of man who refused to rest until his 90s when we later moved him to stay with my sister. He moved from civil servant to selling kerosene to farm to selling food stuffs in a shop up until age 90 but he designed different businesses he did himself. Strong n energetic men hate sitting idle until they can't do anything again.
If I may suggest, I think selling cement is likely to be good n block industry too but location will really determined. The first thing you need to do is survey, find out what is selling in the location you planned to move him n also ask him which one of those things he will prefer to do cus some level of passion will be required of him to survive...discuss the whole plan with him n don't think you will surprise him cus he might be the fastest person to even suggest idea base on his passion.

.

Your opinion is nice, I have already made plans to carry out a survey once the Pandemic is over then kick off from there.

akaahs:
Op since dad is experienced on towing business which is mostly interstate.why not think of localising it by limiting his movements just within town? U guy can achieve this, by acquiring a good jeep/Landrover that can be use for towing small vehicles/cars that broke down within the town. In addition, U guys should also support him small allowance every month not stress himself Incase no work.

Saying we should limit the towing to just within town isn't a good option because the type of towing he does is for big trucks and not small vehicles and you know tankers, tippers and trailers are basically interstate conveyors so if you say just within town is as good as saying he should not do the business because most clients operate interstate and if we should get him a landrover that just same as changing business because he will start looking for clients due to the fact that he has gone from towing big trucks to small vehicles which have different client base and trust me it's not worth the stress.

I do give him allowance but the deal here is That the business isn't worth the stress anymore and he's getting too old for it so we want him out of it for real so towing or any stressful business is a NO.

Codeblues:
Hi op, it's good that you have your father in mind and appreciates what he has done for you and your siblings over the years as a widower. However I will like you to reason the followings:

1. This is the work he has been doing over the years to raise you and your siblings.
2. He has make gains/loss and has gathered lots of experience with the job based on how to deal with customers, co-workers, biz associates etc.
3. He has makes friends on this job.
4. Did he complained about the job or wanted to change.
5. Have you discussed with him your plans and how he accepted it.
6. Setting him up with a biz now will surely lead to a disaster as he have to start learning the basics of such biz considering the fact that a new energy and stamina is required for a new successful biz.
7. Failure in his new biz might lead to depression and might cause harm to his health or die sef.

Lastly, if you dont want him to do his job place him on a monthly salary which can be equivalent or above what he makes on his job now as this might give him a satisfaction.

My 2 cents to you op.

Thanks for the Advice.
The truth is that his business was a cool one that made him rich but it isn't the same now and the nature of Abia also contributed to that and it's obvious that job isn't for him anymore( people he competes with are mostly the kids of his associates and other Young guys because the business is purely something for younger men)

Yes he has clients but not as he used to because a lot of them left the state and some lost their stand. Also it's more competitive now and is not business as usual and at his age, that job is so stressful just visualize him turning Mack steering, controlling a towing winch, arguing with police at checkpoints each time he's towing trucks and the worst of it all is that he sleeps outside alot of times because the work is quite unpredictable. Because it is mostly interstate, You may feel you will come back before night falls before you know it police wahala, traffic, armed robbery, car breakdown in a deserted express and a whole lot of issues will make you sleep inside the car till morning then you continue. sometimes for 2days he will still be on the road(I experienced this alot of times I went to work with him then during school breaks and all but he's getting too old for that pls).

Currently, the business isn't sustaining him as it used to and his saving grace are the investments he made when the cash was flowing in. As a matter of fact, those investments saw us through university not even the business because it has gone down before then.

As for paying him amount equivalent to what he earns it can't work because some months we won't see a dime while some he will see at most 50k which will probably go back to vehicle maintenance. Like I said what he relies on are investments which he made when he had trucks and tankers before life happened and he hates it when he can't access cash for his use. He personally said it was one of his reasons for making alot of investments and my salary isn't enough to be giving him weekly allowance that's why we need something he can hold on to anytime he needs funds at least to eat what he wants and get his medication anytime he's sick and also get him busy as he wants.

As for the business failing, I don't pray for that remember the current one is not reliable and is not even his means of survival so trying another one won't be bad also if he continues with the current business, he won't be doing that for the next five /ten years because of old age

The point is that we want to gather funds for him to start a business that won't be stressing him at his age as what he is doing now isn't what it used to be and I need him to see all of my kids and by his grace his GGkids.

Had this vengeance spirit of bitting them after they beat me as I didn't care what comes next

So one day after my mom flogged me and my dad supported I planned of something special for them. I waited till dinner was served then i climbed the dinning table and spilled pee allover their food! Till date I never forget the beating I collect

Richy4:
It doesn't work like that my friend. If u want to relocate him to Anambra State and a certain City, then feasibility study is required. What does the community or that locality need that an old pensioner can do..

people might suggest stuffs to you here but it might not be needed much over there in that locality..

Just make out time maybe and ask around about the location, or go there for 1 week and make some survey / research. If u you were business minded, u might figure out what or which business might progress in that community that a pensioner can do without stress.

Will give it a try, thanks alot.

Michelle55:
No more business biko.. It's time for him to rest and enjoy the fruits of his labour.. Just like shibaraba rightly said, he should be placed on a monthly salary and if he isn't the type to stay idle, you guys should look for a business that is less stressful for him..

You are right, the business ideas is what I am searching for.

Thanks so much for the response but another problem here is I am the only one employed at the moment (so he doesn't get money from all his kids)and my Dad will never agree to him staying at home doing nothing. He will start saying he will fall sick and one thing he hates is not being able to access cash when he needs it.
Currently what's sustaining him is the investments he made years back so I want to gather money from rents then add money to get him something doing.something that doesn't require him stressing himself just to keep him busy and in turn meet his needs.

I had to open an account because I need a serious advice regarding the welfare of my family and I remain grateful for the anticipated advices.

Pls what kind of business can a man of 68 years venture into?

If you really want to know what led to this question,the man referred above is my Dad, a widower, who I am not happy with the type of business he is still doing at his age. He is into transportation business but specializes in towing vehicles which really made things great for him back then but life happened and it's nolonger Rossy for him(for more than 13 years) but I am grateful to God because he raised 5 graduates which I am the 4th and currently employed(I reside in Lagos State).
I want him to stop that business because it is very stressful and he doesn't need such at his age so we want to make plans for him to relocate from Aba(Abia State) to akwa(Anambra State) which is our Hometown.

I need information such as:
- Nature of business
- Capital required
- Other necessary information required to make it a successful business especially in akwa(Anambra state).