₦airaland Forum

youngwifeinneed:
I have been a quest of this forum for many years, and I always read and admire comments from popular people like pocohantas, funmisticqueen, cococandy, elder0001, lilian789, acidosis01, jakandeola, victorian, carammel, Eberechi24, NwanyiAwkaetiti, XhosaNostra. Also, I usually live my life according to your opinions because I do consider them brilliant.

youngwifeinneed:
I said, I am young, sexy and beautiful woman.

youngwifeinneed:
I always hear you say that a woman can do what she likes with her money and because of you, I become a feminist, because you said in your signature that we all should be feminists. No insult please

youngwifeinneed:
No insult please because I have fragile heart.

youngwifeinneed:
Maybe I have been making mistake by living my life on the opinions of some of the people I mentioned. If I am wrong, I am ready to change my way.

I like how you put forward your argument. Points and observations.
Are you for real about the two cases?

On a lighter note. LoL See nerve. You want to get Masters before your Madam. You want to take her job abi

Meanwhile what kind of office cares about staff so much to want a medical report from you to ascertain you are healthy and fit for shuttling between work and for a degree awarded by another institution? They must really have your interest at heart. Sounds like an employment from heaven.

Again, why do you need permission to run a part time masters degree that is scheduled only on weekends (lectures and exams inclusive)
Do you work weekends in your office?. Again, they gave you Friday and Saturday so Do you work Sunday in your office?

Honestly I can't give any advise. Ask your colleagues how they did theirs or suggest to your madam to proceed for her Masters before you do

Nothing more to say as commenters;
3,4,7 made consequential amount of sense.
Meanwhile commenters 5 & 9 made sense, although negligible but okay.

Summarily, that is all the sense you will need as far as your ordeal goes.

And God saw one man walking out of your life so he gave you another. It isn't chance.

wow! I'm astonished! Glad Nobody came here to shout "village people"
Things are changing in this land.

@op seek professional advise. Some given here have been intelligent.

Don't be deceived by all these English. If you dream of number 5, you have been affiliated with marine spirit. Seek Deliverance. There's nothing "financially/ over your head about it"

COPR:
If you plan to use the ECA in 5 month's time or you've LLB, then use IQAS, otherwise use ICES.

Thanks. But Wow. ICES is better?
Using it for Nigerian Masters.
I hope they don't require the WAEC brouhaha.

CheesyTee:
Use keywords like “WES WAEC”, “WES scratch card” etc in search column

Evaluate highest degree.

Also, there are other evaluation body like ices, iqas and ces. You can search with keywords.

I intend doing with iqas. As I see they do not request this waec scratch card thingy. However why do people still go for Wes (knowing you have to go through the waec hassle)
Am I missing anything?

Dyt:
Did you also skip where she said she tried to?

But beating a woman cos she tried to raise her hand not that she slapped him oo

While this angle might be true anyways because lunging at something doesn't mean there was impact.

Dduchess:
Secondly he has attacked me twice in this marriage because those two occassions i lunged at him by trying to hit him

However this below contradicts the above

Dduchess:
So i actually take the blame for getting physically abused as he has never raised his hands on me without me provoking him physically

Because there is no physical provocation without actual impact.

Happy holidays.

Dyt:
ehn ehn
so she actually got what she deserved as the man rightly said to her face?

like he ripped her hair like how they do on the farm that she had to go on a low cut and he doesnt even give a damn about it?

It's either you are purposely selective of the paragraphs you read or you haven't digested all she posted. But I'll assist you.

Dduchess:
Secondly he has attacked me twice in this marriage because those two occassions i lunged at him by trying to hit him because of some terrible words or act he did and both times i paid dearly for it. So i actually take the blame for getting physically abused as he has never raised his hands on me without me provoking him physically.

Mind you, this information about her launching first attack was [initially] omitted. Hence the initial uneven judgement of the man and the whole situation - evident from the first few replies by our dear NL [feminists] ladies. Even when this realisation was met, not one lady chided her for attacking her husband.

About my post that is amusing you; i guess it is alright when wives are aggressive towards their husbands but sour the other way round?

It is alright to advise your lady friends to separate from husbands who beat them but not okay to advise husbands who get same treatment from their wives.

I love feminism (whatever meaning it carries these days. Above all, I love the idea of gender equality. But if you have the courage to raise your hands to a man, be ready for the consequences. A lady should carry herself with all decency at all times - why the hell are you trying to hit a man? I could bet my kidneys that husband would never have touched his wife had she not gone Solange Knowles on him first. She said this herself.
No double standards Biko.

And this is the Beyonce meme. SAVE IT

madamGift:
My mum would give me 15 missed calls straight.. she would call and call and wouldn't stop until I pick up, when I eventually did pick up, I would scream and complain about the so many calls and she would just calmly say..sorry ma, I just wanted to hear your voice or tell me something before she forgets it!

No other way to appreciate your mother's love to you than to show your siblings such love and care. Be there for them. You are now their mother.
Take heart.

A Ride or die..Through the wire..We in this for life.. Kind of lady

My eyes are heavy reading your story. To even think you are a lady and went through everything you did for your family. And you didn't relent.
You are the definition of through thick or thin. I can relate with your story. I'm glad you realised the problem was spiritual.

God will bless you and your brother. God will bless your family abundantly. You will never lack. You will never know struggle. Smiles will never depart your face. Darkness will never prevail over you or your children. Amen

piroux:
But what else will you call it when you derive joy from something but she doesn't? I just think its different strokes for different folks. But being married, you both should make an effort to understand what you both like.

Have you ever tried to make her favorite food? You only have to do it once and she will reciprocate. Home building is not a woman's prerogative alone, it's a two way thing. Besides the HIV issue, which you seem to have overcome, everything else can be worked on with a little sacrifice and encouragement. God bless you.

So she isn't selfish about possibly being aware of her + status before marrying him?
She isn't selfish about disrespecting him and insulting his family?

He hid her status from her family and his family to protect her.
He stayed with her all through the ordeal. Damned all consequences, still slept with her and stood by her like nothing happened.
Yet he is selfish because he demands that she at least cooks his favorite dish, attends cultural clan meetings.

Oga fun e.

And as one intelligent person rightly said here earlier. That woman and her family likely married you because you were "unintelligent" enough to not go for HIV screening since the regular sickness started way before you met.

You are the S.I unit of loyalty!

If you have made sacrifices as regards her hiv status (whether she knew or didnt know prior to marrying you). She should and must be willing to make sacrifices for you; and things such as having little regards for your culture/ tradition and custom. She not wanting to learn and cook your native dish and she not attending towns Union meeting or anything that have to do with your custom are very trivial things for her to put up with.
That she wont consider what you've gone through for her explains she has issues beyond your control. You have shown her respect by even hiding the status from her and your family however she isn't transparent with you, doesn't respect you, doesn't respect your family.
As a christian i can advise you to continue putting up with her since you are so good at it and have done it for this long. However, you wear the shoe and knows where it hurts the most so therefore, do what is on your mind (You know this). You are vindicated. Whatever choice you make, All righteousness is fulfilled.

P.S
Dont listen to the TOAD who wrote this line in one of his comments;
The HIV thing is no biggie as science has made conception easier with little risks of transmission of the virus to a spouse or child. So whilst i commend you for sticking, what you have done isnt something unusual. It happens alot.

$100 PayPal needed.

Dduchess:
I want to say a big thank you to all for your advice am sure everybody meant well. But let me make some clarification to the house, firstly am a working class lady that earns almost as much as he does so financially am stable as I support him in all we do at the Home front even upto the building of our property in Lagos.

Secondly he has attacked me twice in this marriage because those two occassions i lunged at him by trying to hit him because of some terrible words or act he did and both times i paid dearly for it. So i actually take the blame for getting physically abused as he has never raised his hands on me without me provoking him physically. But that being said we have lived through the 11 years because 90% of our quarrels I always end up apologising or breaking the ice for peace to reign.

To burst all bubbles I have gone to him despite my pain to ask him way forward and show him that I had to barb my hair like a boy because of what he did to me and he said clearly that I brought it upon myself and got what I deserved. I asked him way forward and he said any desicion taken by me he would support 100%. I also asked him what would he do if someone did this to his sister's he told me to go ahead and tell my brothers to come and beat him he is waiting for them all. He also said there had been peace in the house while I moved to the guest room and should please remain there.

I gently walked away and realised I was never going to get the apology. This is the sad story of my life, but thanks all as for now I have decided to take each day as it comes, and take life decisions as I think it best for me and my kids

God help me!!!!!

Thank God for the full story.
All of you ladies that were shouting Toxic Environment Toxic Environment! She should separate!!!! She is broken!!!!!! He is a Narcissist!!!!

Will you now advise the husband to separate himself from the toxic environment his wife created? Can you imagine her attacking her husband? Accusing him wrongly on infidelity and attacking him Physically? The poor man had to defend himself. As it should be.

Y'all are quiet now. Because the narrative doesn't suit your tummy. It is when a man sleeps, wakes up and starts beating his wife Nairaland feminists will be present to scream TOXIC ENVIRONMENT!! TOXIC ENVIRONMENT!!!! DIVORCE HIM!!!!!

By malice, do you mean not talking to you or intention to harm you? Or both.

Anyways.

As I won't advice separation.

As I haven't been in a relationship for 3 years for talkless of 11.

As I understand both of you have faults.

But if you know you are wrong in any case or issue; apologise to him. Otherwise, Don't apologise to him if he is wrong. If the "keeping malice" means not talking to you; Keep talking to him when you need to. He'll eventually feel stupid with himself.

But if the malice is about harm; please avoid confrontation. Avoid arguments with him.

However and most importantly, It is who wears the shoe that knows where it pinches. If at any point you feel your life/sanity/health is threatened physically. Do the needful. GET OUT.

3RNEST:
Like seriously?

I hope it is Ludo you and your girlfriend are playing at least before you marry her (if you eventually do) other than entangling yourself in realms beyond you with her.

3RNEST:
Lol No he suppose to play ludo with her...funny question.

Doing this (ludo) is better than what he is misplacing his priorities over.

Are you even suppose to be having sex with her?

sweetilicious:
If only you can comfortably stay in the booth

Sent you a pm but no response. Please text number in signature (whatsapp). Need to discuss a few things.

Kissup:
How is d working visa process

please respond my pm or text number in signature (whatsapp)

The demand on ict occupations is huge.
i need 5 extra points. exhausted all possible point pathways. It is only english i know else would have done ccl. spouse i do not have

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