₦airaland Forum

rossyc: I got the same invite though mine is by 11am..Do u av an idea of what we are to expect?

I don't know yet but it should be the usual test format others use. I stay in Lagos though made a mistake in location while filling the form online.

You are invited 4 an aptitude test 4 d post of a Credit Administrator. Tue 10am 22/07/14 @ 8 Elder Ohu Avenue after Elekahia Model School Elekahia Port-Harcourt


Who Else got this invite? Let's rub minds.

***Mine***


Back then in school, I have graduated, defended my project and was done with clearance. What remains was NYSC. Our names were out and we were to get our original Statement of Result from the office of Exams and records cos it's a requirement from NYSC. We were given a date to come and get it.

That faithful morning, I dressed up, looking fly and bouncing with swagger( as per say intending corp member nau). I got to school, went straight to the Exams and Records office to get the result. On getting there there were a lot of people, clustering the office to be first to get. Many at the door many more through the window. I saw many friends and departmental colleagues. We exchanged pleasantries and waited for our turn while gisting to wind down time.

When it got to my turn, I got in, there were three persons left before me. I noticed one strange thing, the man incharge was taxing every man there, he would tell you to drop something before he hands over the result to you (it wasn't by force though, he was doing it in a friendly way). People were dropping things for him(who wouldn't? Where you are happy to be done with school). And if what you gave him was little, he would search you and if he finds money on you, he would take what he wanted. Everyone laughed about it and moved on.

Before my turn I agreed on what to give to him so I removed any other money on me and gave to my friend who have already collected his. What was left in my wallet was what he would see if he searched me.

"Big boy how far? Wetin you bring for us?" He said as I approached him. I stretched my hand squeezing a 200 Naira note to him. He looked at it and looked at me and said this is too small nau. I told him it's all I had on me now that I would see him tomorrow with better something (I lied) but he isn't buying that. Before I knew it, he dipped his hand inside my back pocket and grabbed my wallet and started searching. Of course he didn't find money but he found something else.

Condoms!!!! He shouted and brought them out showing everybody that was there. A lot of persons there burst out laughing very hard, girls especially. I felt very ashamed and embarased. "What are condoms doing in your wallet" he asked. People there still laughing, those that were far came close to know what was happening, they ended up joining in the laughing party as he was waving the condoms to them. That time I wished the ground would open and swallow me.

"What are you using these to do" he continued. By then I was being filled with rage and anger because I didn't see why he would embarrass me like this, I already gave him money like others, why can't he free me. But out of the anger I answered him, "pls sir condom is not a dual purpose commodity, it has only one single use. So that question you are asking me is not necessary". My answer didn't put him off, he now went on to the next level of his "embarrassment mission" on me.

He started calling one woman from the next office(a coleague of his). "Madam Faith!! Come oo, come and see what I am seeing. Come quick". One middle aged woman appeared, dressed like Deeper Life women with no earrings. He showed her the condoms and narrated how he found it on me. (Mind you this guy was taking this as a joke all these while cos he had other students laughing at his jibes at me. I wasn't finding it funny though). This woman looked at me "pityfully" like someone who was lost and asked me to follow her.

We got to her office, she asked me to sit down, I did, she now brought out a magazine and handed it to me, also brought out her bible, that was when I knew I was in for a long session of preaching and counseling. She preached and preached, telling me the dangers of premarital sex and the rest, quoting bibles and making me to read them myself. I was very calm and only one thing was was on my mind, REVENGE!!! "what evil will I to do that silly man, I need to make him feel what I felt". After the preaching session with the woman, she collected my number and said she would be calling me and texting me detail of their church activities, she wanted me to be attending them for spiritual upliftment. (who go attend? Me? I never see Wetin I go do with my time), I said to my self.

I thanked her and headed to the "silly" man's office to collect my result and get the hell out of there. When I got there he looked at me and noticed u was very angry, he told me that he was only joking that I shouldn't mind the woman that preached either. I didn't even respond to him. He brought our my result, looked at it, and maybe trying to impress me or to right the wrong he did to me, he shouted at the woman, "hey madam, do you know that the boy is brilliant? He made a good result wow!" I didn't even smile let alone responding. He handed my result to me, I collected it, putting it at my arm pit, I stretched hand to him requesting for my wallet and condoms. He gave them to me, everyone was watching. I took them looked at them and shouted back at him, making sure that Madam Faith heard me loud and clear. "Where are the rest?" I asked him. He looked at me in shock. "Where are the rest of my condoms!!? They were four, I'm seeing only two". Everybody there burst out and started laughing. They were dying in laughter, even more than when he did his. The man still shocked, but I wasn't done. "So you want to use it abi, that's why you hid it. Guy man. Anyway you can have it, cos I don't think I will need it again after the preaching, take the rest" I dropped two comdoms on his desk and walked away smiling. His face now changed I guess she was very angry too. But I no send am. I don do my mind. I left on a very high ovation, people were laughing really seriously at the man now.

I met my friend outside who hailed me and exclaimed "WHAT A COMEBACK!!" We left feeling very happy at what I did. As for the man, I knew he wouldn't get me anywhere again as I have graduated and that result was the only thing he could use against me but u already got it.

***the eND***

okonji4real: The numerical,was it table,chart or wot?

Chart, table, yes.

....and for those saying that the site is not opening, make sure you use a computer, and buy REAL internet bundle 50mb can do it. I actually have a cheat i use to browse but it didn't open the site, i had to rush and buy a recharge card, loaded and subscribed for 50mb, it opened immediately and fast.

okonji4real: Pls what format came out?

its numerical reasoning, abstract reasoning and some questions on IT Training (i have forgotten what they called it)

just done with mine. just relax cos you have enough time to do it twice over. make sure you read the passage twice (fast readers) before clicking. and read the question before the passage. it will help locate the answer when you read, good luck.

Reporting live from my villa. I love the freshness of the air here. Lagos air don condemn finish

What concerns a bird with a toothbrush?

ANNOYING THINGS oN MOLUE BUs:
Those madakakas selling ru bbish inside bus. Muringer seed and the rest. The other day one was in front of me and as he was talking eh spit was raining down on me. I wish I had umbrella with me.

I lost the love of my life. My beautiful girl friend passed on. Can't forget it. Ever.

Nice thread.

Waiting for someone with the infamous E_D T_I_E Things.

What's her name again? Robbery?

The Truth Is sure Bitter.

U mean they personally did it? Men keep donating, kids keep buying new cars.

how is this possible?

fpeter: ......Mumu,you think he became a billionaire by idling away?

Ya papa na mumu. Idiaaaat!

Chai.... Aηδ I'm just sitting here....












Mastur.bating

is my brother Chike Obi still alive? i need him now.

Rich People, Rich People, no one is truly comfortable. As poor as I am, I still haven't found a reason to die just yet.

Who gives a fuook on that? They have their life, I have mine. I already have enough things τ̅☺ worry about, I don't need τ̅☺ "pork nose". They are rich, I'm not then WTF??

naijaspeak: May the Good Lord bring much more of this job opportunities, Amen! Graduates and School leavers are tired of roaming the street with their hard earned certificates.

did u see the 15 years experience? where will i get that if u dont give a young graduate a chance to start?

Once again RIP τ̅☺ the people they used for SacRifiCe.

Cyber cafe is Ŋ☹ longer as lucrative as it use τ̅☺ be back in the days 2003-2007. The coming of smart phones in the country have dealt with it. U need τ̅☺ make a survey of U̶̲̥̅̊я environment τ̅☺ knw if it will move there first before anything else. Location is very important in setting up a business. That's ♍ƴ advice τ̅☺ u.

Why was it banned in the first place? Or is it that ninja stuff they wear?

Everyday kill!! Dem Ŋ☹ D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ finish?

jaymichael: Wetin concern this useless government with how the citizens spend their hard earned money. You hustle, you pay company tax, land use tax, personal income tax, radio and tv tax, advert tax, VAT, etc etc.. you pass roads that are suppose to be free, you pay tolls, you provide your own electricity, water, pay for your own healthcare, education, you never get anything done for you @the local government or state secretariat without you paying them money. Inspite of all these, you manage save some money to celebrate your IKOMO or your daughter's wedding ceremony, government still dey vex say you no get right to celebrate unless you give them something. Na wa o! when will this government start to think of giving to the people instead of fleeing them?

That's Lagos for you brother. U nailed it. They will want to collect everything u have.

Imagine this: its raining, Aηδ water use τ̅☺ enter ♍ƴ shop, S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ I have τ̅☺ call carpenter τ̅☺ do some extension outside S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ it can prevent the rain from spoiling ♍ƴ goods. The next week some hungry looking guys came from Mushin LGA that I should pay them 2k for putting that thing. I told them τ̅☺ goto hell. They droped the receipt there Aηδ say I must pay.