₦airaland Forum

@Toba:

Seriously, where did Abu say he was in Lagos? Don't misquote my guy O! Meanwhile, how now? Happy new year to you.

@Abuzola:

Thank God you've declared openly for peace. Seriously, many people thought you were Mutallab when the news came that he was arrested. But don't worry. I think US agencies are more responsible than to just bomb NL ( ) because of your terrorizing us. All of NL loves you. I think for me, you were NL man of the year 2009. You and "Carbonated drinks"!

BTW, you still want to discuss "eating flesh and drinking blood"? Are you sure? Cos I'm about to allow you your own O, so that sometime in that mix, me too will discuss "ehmm, which one O?" . I'll decide later sha and Viaro will be there to support me. As Abuz likes to say, "teeth for TAT, no wounding"

@Nuclearboy: OMG, this is going to be so interestingly funny 

Chairman, where art thou? ? ? ? ?

@the_seeker:

Relax, ,

last night was just play. Carbonated drinks do not intoxicate abi you've gotten drunk off Coca-Cola before? Booze is not carbonated. What Viaro did was use that deadly intellect he possesses to turn true quotes from the Quran against you and his style was brilliant. Amazing dude. What he showed you is that if you try to use the Bible against him, he will do same against you. Maybe you too should stop misquoting the Bible.

Abuzol:

Come O. All these variations of your name na wa O. This one makes you sound like Lucozade. Are you sweet? And yes, you are our resident terror on NL. Anytime I see "last poster" for ANY TOPIC was Abuzola, I start to think, Chei, this guy don land again. I just hope America does not drop bombs on NL because of you.

Meanwhile, I mentioned before that I thought you were in Nigeria but now you're speaking of Jamaica. What do you do there and hope you're not planning to visit the US. I'm sure the relevant agencies will have put you on terror files with the kind of posts you make here. And maybe Bin-Laden too is looking for you thinking you will help him. The man no go know say my man Abuzola (the Chief terror of Nairaland) is not planning to die before marrying his complete 4 wives here.

Finally, you guys, we're not your enemies O.

Defendant Viaro:

Judgment Time: It is the opinion of this court that you do not have a right to match that level of brain power against these young people. That is aberrant to the laws of fairness and highly irregular. You are sentenced to 15 minutes E-Jail. But because this is your first conviction, the sentence is suspended and the record destroyed.

@Abu:

Morning there. How was your night? Yep, I said you are NL's terror, not terrorist, cos you terrorize any thread you enter!

Hope you have a great day. Have to go do some stuff now. Later

His Royalness Majesty Mightiness Lordship will now retire and deliberate on the evidence brought forward.

Judgment to be passed tomorrow morning depending on when the intoxication from Viaro breathing over His Lordship passes.

@the_seeker: might I suggest that you;, like Chairman, also inebriate yourself this night to help the time go faster. I suggest fura de nunu since "other inebriating substances" are reserved for later

I rise!

Found a download site for both Quran and Hadiths. http://islam.thetruecall.com/

@Abuzola (The terror of NL):

Jamaica! Thot you were in Naija. Hope you're not booked on a flight to America sha.

@All: recess in Session. We reconvene tomorrow

@the_seeker:

You will kindly address me with the respect due this court or you will be held in contempt. Carbonated drinks ko, fura de nunu ni!

Anyway, is this witness presented by the accused acceptable to you? He has produced a multiplicity of translations. Do you accept them or are there objections?

@Carbonated drinks:
Hurry up with whatever other exhibits. This honor needs his beauty sleep.

@Abuzola:
The gift of laughter is like none other. Free yourself and smile.

@the_seeker:

Someone told me that non-Muslims can lose their heads for touching the Quran. Since the shop owners are not likely to be using E-Swords, what assurances do I have that I can get into and out of an Islamic store safely? I'm serious O.

When I was at University (and much younger), one joker said no-one could burn a Quran. He literally meant it wouldn't ignite. I didn't know you guys took it so seriously (my thinking was that sebi na just book wey printing press print) so I suggested he give me his own and I'd light it and use the flame to fry 2 eggs. He pulled a knife on me and it was a Satan filled day. If no be say devil na my junior brother that time, only God knows what would have happened. Don't want to go through that kind of experience again cos can't do those kind of things again.

@Chairman:

Carbonated drinks again? Won't you ever learn? Ok, how many fingers am I holding up?

@the_seeker and Chairman V:

Will both counsel approach the bench (Damn, I love playing judge )!

This court is adjourned until either side decides to bring forward evidence to prove the case! Let me warn you both (all) that this court will not accept any obscenities or derailing of this thread trial. I want the cold hard facts considering Viaro's neck hangs only by E-flesh right now

All RISE!!!!!!!

Well, the issue is this -

Viaro, you are charged with misquoting (or is it lying or is it being out of context or not really sure what) and so stand accused. My problem is that I do not have a copy of the Quran (there, finally got it right now) and so am waiting on your accusers to show their own version of the quote.

Let me warn you though, if you are found guilty, I will allow Abu use an E-Sword to remove your keferi (is that the right spelling?) head and let it roll all over NL.

I'm serious O, bloody civilian keferi like you

Don't worry, I intend to get a copy and read it. Many things I want to confirm for myself.

Any ideas how I can get the Hadith Bukhari too?

Meanwhile, why don't you quote Viaro's "quotes" here, the_seeker?

@Abu:

I didn't quote it but [b]found the grammar and language form Chairman "V" used [/b]funny. And I do not have a Quran/Koran. That is the honest truth. I keep trying to remember to get one but have not yet. Tried to download one but it said I didn't have the privileges.

It is because you asked me if I agreed that I asked you to quote what it says. Then it will be obvious if the Quran/Koran agrees with Viaro as what I think is not the issue! What was funny was his language!

BTW, WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE TELL ME IF IT IS "QURAN" OR "KORAN"?

Chairman V:

I plead in 2, 000 languages and 41,000 dialects. Stop persecuting my friend. Otherwise, you risk getting him banned again (cos he'll explode and terrorize this section again) and you know everyone really realized his worth when last he disappeared. I don't want to miss him again.

That is one monumental figure on this site and we needs must keep him around. NL will no longer be NL without Abuzola and we all know that. Wish I could meet the guy!

Abu:

You know I always want to follow the truth whether Xtian or Muslim.

So tell me - what does Quran 9: verses 97 and 101 say? And also Quran 5:82? Please quote them. That is the truth because you believe the Koran. My own truth must come from what I believe, abi?

By the way, I was always asking you but you never answered -Is it Quran OR Koran?

Crying for you, my brother! That Viaro is one mean analyst!

Chairman Viaro:

viaro:
What do you mean by 'formal education'? The guy is a graduate in 'arabic studies' - and according to Islam, the Arabs are "the worst in Unbelief and hypocrisy, and most fitted to be in ignorance of the command which God hath sent down to His Apostle" (Quran 9:97 . . even verse 101 says that the Medina folks are "obstinate in hypocrisy".

What Abuzo-lala is doing here is displaying how much of a graduate he is from 'arabic studies', a discipline for those who are obstinate in hypocrisy, unbelief and ignorance. And why does he appear to be miffed at anything pointing to Christianity? Well, it is the same Quran that says that Christians are "men devoted to learning and men who have renounced the world, and they are not arrogant" (Quran 5:82, Yusuf Ali translation).

So next time you imagine our friend Abuzo-lala displaying any sort of 'formal education', just laugh at his ignorance, unbelief and hypocrisy - these are hallmarks of what he graduate from!


Abuzo-lala. . howdy? What's the latest?

My cup runneth over and tears are flowing freely from my eyes. Never thought of it that way!

Glad to have confirmation its working

The problem is people don't want to have responsibility for what happens to them. That is why they play "transference" and allow others to pray, think and decide for them. Easier to play the victim than to look yourself in the mirror, have you forgotten? And there's not much can be done about it when the "victim" has made up his mind.

But Kunle, are you sure there are no people who read, assess, decide and go away changed? So you ought not believe its in vain or be fatalistic about this issue. Last I heard, truth always wins.

So please laugh at Pastors post cos indeed, those villagers are really wrong (bloody sinners) for not building airports and having 7 star hotels to accommodate MOGS. Don't they know Jesus Himself spent all His days in absolute luxury and therefore, His Servants must have the best of the best of the best of everything? And of course, it was a mistake the Bible made when it stated Jesus lived a poor life. What it meant was that He took over Pilates Palace and lived out His life there in splendor with 72 ( ) virgins and a river of booze.

And thats why you, KunleOshob must pay tithes to the MOGs

,

,

@KunleOshob:

I think I start to understand your point from our last conversation now. The people you're talking to seem to believe any good that comes their way was called down by a MOG. I wonder how they ate, drank and woke up before they started worshiping that MOG.

On Tithing, the way I look at this is, okay, you ask me to pay tithes. Fine! Where to? Then I read the Word and combine the much misused Malachi with Jesus own definition of His brethren. We are to bring the Tithe into the House of the Lord. Then the Lord says those who fulfill His Word are His brethren and that when you fed the poor, you fed Him. Might seem simplistic, but does not this suggest His dwelling (house) is with these people, in the place where His work which HE defined i.e. helping the poor, fatherless, widows, lost etc, is done? You throw Melchizedek and Jacob at me and I ask you if I am not a fellow heir to Jesus? So bring your tithes to me too!

Might be me, but I think that from what I read, more "productive" work is currently being done by TB Joshua (never watched him or visited his ministry) than by the MOG's that move from their village to town and then to Lagos and now to the US. There's a street (Joyce B) off Ring road in Ibadan where, about 12 years ago, I counted 57 churches. On one street, mind you! Yet most of the ministries owned by these MOGs do not have a presence in villages where Ogun is freely worshiped or in the North to win what they claim are lost souls.

Tithes (if you insist they be paid) are meant for the Work of God. The work of God is feeding the poor, fatherless, widows and keeping His Word. That was what Jesus did. That was what the Apostles did! If you want to spread the Gospel, good for you. Do it off your own sweat. That is what the Apostles did and boasted openly about.

Baba70 the Baba70:

How now? Long time! My sincere and best wishes for a happy and fulfilling 2010 to you. What am I doing home? Do you think everyone of us believes only in what Imams and Pastors say? I read my Bible for myself and am a believer, not a church-goer. I can pray and fellowship at home as in church.

I decided to fellowship with Abuzola tonight.

Hows our wife Zainab? Hope you've started reading your Bible like you want to learn instead of for folly as before?

@Abuzola:

Don't let anyone fool you. You ARE NOT causing any turbulence on NL. You're just making people laugh at you. That is why they voted you "most meaningless poster". I voted voltron but people here don't take you serious. You enter everyone's thread and start distributing quotes from the Koran even when they're talking of other things that don't concern Islam. You ask questions then answer yourself. You write so fast that you don't even check your typos or grammar and so end up with words like "carpental". What does that even mean?

And now look at your response - Boko Haram was "tensed". What tensed them? what does that even mean? Corruption of what authority? And ok, so they were "tensed" and the right thing to do was kill 800 human beings like themselves abi? What if your relative or child was one of those killed? You say the tasine (Maitasine, ehn?) were heretic, abi? what oif Afghanistan. History says there was an equal mix of Hindu buddhists, christians and muslims. First they killed the buddhists, then they killed the Christians. Now, they are killing themselves?

Who tensed "Farouk Mutallab"? Was it the 4 million pounds mansion he was living in that "tensed" him too and made him want to blow up over 200 people? Stop saying such things. Thats how you said you could give your 6 year old out in marriage when we both know you yourself cannot sleep with a 13 year old. How can you say such ridiculous things and think you're "causing turbulence".

bla bla bla!!! Is that an answer?

Stop this rubbish and start looking into your own self for answers.

Who attacked the Maitasine sect? Who attacked Boko Haram? Who attacked Abdul Mutallab? How many countries/communities/people have you seen that Christians beheaded or forced with swords to become Christians?

Everyone on earth knows Jerusalem belonged to the Jews long before Islam was started. At least the Israelites owned it when Jesus walked the earth and where were your Palestinians and Arabs then? Where do you want the owners of the land to go to? Should I come and take over your father's house and drive your family out? If you want Israel for the Muslims, give me your father's property.

Stop being obtuse, Abu! I always saw you as vitriolic because you were misinformed. But your exposure here at least has shown you so much that should have made you more careful. Even if you don't want to admit the truth, you should not be pretending as if you don't see it. I know and you know that I know that you are intelligent enough to know the truth and you feel the emptiness. Be a man and at least keep quiet rather than supporting nonsense

The devil in me makes me love and be peaceful. The angel in you makes you hate and want to kill people

Please give me more "devils" of this type stated, God

Listen to yourself.

You pity me (for asking you to stop hating without reason)

You invite me to Islam (to come do what? Go blow up hundreds or thousands of innocent people?)

the True religion (which has no details for any story it tells but only relies on the Bible for veracity)

the religion of Jesus (who YOU SAY was a disgrace and curse according to you)

Why don't I stay with a belief that doesn't hate, doesn't believe in the sword, is not violent and doesn't insult those who did not insult it. And remain with a Jesus who loves me and died for me. And whose life was an example that even the best of history agrees was superbly examplary.

As I wrote earlier, apply these same rules to your own belief if you dare!

He was accursed because He carried the iniquity of the entire human race. That was laudable!

But no one is a disgrace except he did something shameful and no-one is a fraud except he cheats and lies.

It would be nice you turned your searchlight on yourself and what you believe in if you're looking for disgrace, shameful conduct and fraud.

All this hate for someone who's only "sin" is love for you cannot be natural. Something is in you pushing you to like everything and anything but to hate Jesus. If it was me you hated for insulting you or your religion, I'd understand. If you hate Christians for laughing at the history of your prophet or the history of your religion, that is okay. But what did Jesus do to you? Have you ever asked yourself why that name just makes you feel so angry/bitter and violent? Name another name, spirit or anything that you hate like that. If it is because you believe Christians are lying against Jesus (that He is God), then why not hate us? Why is it Him you hate? Speak to the spirit in you, Abu and ask it to leave you.

Baseless hate is wrong and unworthy of any human being, Abu. I pray God reveals Himself to you personally (I hold Him to it, by the love He has for you) and wish you a happy 2010.

Best wishes for a fulfilling, rewarding and very happy 2010 to you DeepSight, Mavenbox, Jesoul, Ancel, Tiatma and my Chairman Viaro! To Chairman, here's hoping the carbonated intoxication hasn't been renewed for 2010

And to you, Abuzola, comes a heartfelt prayer that God reveals Himself to you and fulfill you to His Glory. Happy new year.

I wish you the same, Brother. And I seem to have missed such threads as you have stated you initiated. Will try to search for some of them.

@Nezan: Hope you don't mind.

PART TWO OF "A LETTER FROM SATAN"

Hi there again,

I need you to know something in addition to the above. I DO NOT CARE if you have 100 Billion Dollars, 50 mansions and 72 Virgins at your disposal. It makes no difference if you call yourself Christian, Atheist, Muslim or Bingo. It does not matter to me if you go to church more often than the signboard points to it or if you hit your head against the wailing wall of Jerusalem 600 times daily.

I too like Church and religious places. I absolutely am divinely happy inside any type of worship center since we all serve the same god- OURSELVES. I enjoy watching you young guys checking out the girls and you women looking at who brought the big car. I will even show you the ones you had not noticed. I am happy to give you great jobs and careers, pleased to see you send your children to the best schools and eating the best foods till they're unhealthy.

The better educated you are, the more I like it. It helps me use you as an expert witness when I need such. And if you're not educated at all, all the better. It makes it easier to convince you to do contrary things. Need I say I love poverty too, both of flesh and spirit. I like empty religion and endless postures of self-righteousness. I am happy to help you hate your enemies and kill them if you wish. We could also make them so poor, you'll be able to oppress them. In effect, I want anything you want. As long as it is you that matters. You and you only. Because you are my god (for now ). And don't worry about warnings of heaven. We can work our own way there ourselves. I used to live there, remember? And when I left in anger, I created a backdoor way to the best part that God doesn't know about so we'll get in.

But one thing I do not want - Do not, I repeat, NOT accept Jesus as Salvation. You can accept him as a prophet, a carpenter, a fraud, a gangster, an illusion or any other term your rich imagination can bring up. But not as the bridge of salvation. that is the ONLY THING I hate. Avoid that and we'll be fast friends and together we'll reign in our own part of heaven. And don't listen to them. They can call it whatever they want but what we call the place is what matters since it will be our own home, not theirs. I love me you

Signed,

your best pal and indulgent father

Satan

Forget about the enemies. We both know its the message of Christ they hate and that reflects on you due to association. However, their enmity only puts a stamp of approval on you as its obvious its the truth that the enemy hates.

I agree a few of the pastors would read but again, I come back to the notion that you're standing against their livelihood. You will prick their conscience but not likely change their ways. Having an idea of your Biblical scholarship from what you've written on this forum, I'd have advocated taking topics and treating them from the Bible. "Hero-worship/mentor-ship in Christianity" for example. You might be surprised that people will go away from such topics looking at themselves and their mentors in a different way. "Personal study/prayer relationship with God" would be another lovely topic. I found that the more I prayed and read the Bible, the less I needed a bridge between me and God till it hit me - The Holy Spirit was all the bridge I needed. Of course, there will be dissent (maybe even from me in the exact interpretation of issues) but I've come to find that such help us personally. My Conversation with DeepSight on the thread https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-369330.0.html has today put me in a more knowledgeable situation than when that thread started and that because we disagreed and I had to think and study more.

Whatever you decide, keep up the good work. I just hate to see people throwing "Touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm" around because we inadvertently garner sympathy for the Vultures, who being also wolves, know how to maximize such sympathy.

@KunleOshob:

I'm sure you know you're one of my favorite posters here. But I wonder if your anger towards these "ministers" is not misdirected. True it is that they derail many and are running businesses rather than working for God. However, we both know that each individual is responsible for his own salvation. Isa 34:16 tells us to "seek out the book of the Lord and read" yet I am certain most "Christians" have never even read that verse. Worst still is Hosea 4:6 which reads "My people are destroyed from for lack of knowledge, Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests, because you have ignored the law of your God, I also will ignore your children". I read this to mean that the lack of knowledge which destroys most (if not all) comes from their PERSONAL rejection of knowledge which could be attributed to a refusal to study and read to be approved.

I think your anger should be more directed at people who have turned men like themselves into Oracles and need someone to tell them whether Eba is better than Bread for breakfast today. Remember your quote above "Don't let anyone mislead you". Its at us not at the businessmen pastors. More focus should be on individuals being encouraged to read and study for themselves. I know you know that you can scream at the businessmen at 400 decibels for 400 years yet they will not listen cos na dem moneypot you dey attack O.

Lets start screaming at the people. Screaming at the pastors only makes them seem more relevant and they actually gain more sympathy from their followers who come at you (imagine the irony) with "touch not my prophet et al"