₦airaland Forum

Angela62:
I am married for about a decade now, and I am enjoying my marriage. Honestly, if the worse happens and I became a widow, I will not marry any other man, I will train my kids alone. That is how much I love my husband and cherish my marriage. Since childhood, I have always been close to my grandmother, I grew up with her since my mum died when I was a child. I learned a lot from her. I can still remember the advice she gave to me when I wanted to marry my husband, and I will tell you exactly that.

1. Look at the qualities and characters of the man you want to marry. Most ''shine shine'' men, as my grandma will put it are not the real men. `Just as sugar is sweet but unhealthy, lots of men are like that. That bricklayer that sends his mum money in the village every month, that doesn't go to a club, doesn't smoke and buy expensive designers, he might not even give you butterflies, those are the real men. Ten years from now when you are pregnant with your third child, his masculinity will be like an umbrella to protect, provide and be the best father for your kids.

But you see those ones that are doing fine boys only, care more about the phone they use and the girl they sleep with this weekend than their future, those you must avoid. They may be attractive now, but when the difficulties of marriage come especially financially, then you realize that truly, internal beauty (characters and virtues) is what keeps marriage. So do not sacrifice the future due to your youthful exuberance.

2. Look at his patterns, those are the secrets to his future and of course, your future. Does he wakes up and go to work every day? What is the relationship he has with his family? How does he handle stress? is he hardworking? Do people around him respect him? Where does he go after work? What is your assessment of his friends? `What are his goals? etc. You might be clouded with feelings with this assessment especially when you are in love, so you might ask people you trust for advice. I saw this thread some few years ago by pansophist, where he wrote about qualities you should look for in a man for marriage, I implore you to check it out. The guy is on point. As I read through it, I kept nodding my head in affirmation because my husband easily covered all these qualities.

https://www.nairaland.com/6257463/part-two-traits-woman-should

Also when I first met my husband, I wasn't that interested. He appears so ordinary (if you know what I mean), but as I scratch further, the depth of his manliness opens up. I was not attracted at first, but everything fell into place, and I was glad I didn't just brush him away. But I couldn't see his qualities quickly, it was my grandma that pointed it all out. So you should really have someone older, that have walked the talk of marriage, to advise and guide you.

3. Support him. Men are at their best when their wive are supportive. For example, my husband never asks me about my income, but every of my penny goes to my household. The idea that a man has to carry all the financial responsibilities is a self-defeating adventure. Such a woman punishes herself due to her short-sightedness and selfishness by reducing her worth in his eyes, making her easily replaceable.

LordIsaac:
Yes...100%. You just get yourself a TRCN certificate, that's all.

thesicilian:
He needs discipline, not prayers.

ZenithBanking:
I have a big probem.

I'm always peeping on my neigbhours/friends unclothedness when ever they are taking their bath.

It all started six years ago during my ND in school, & up till now, i'm still living with it.

During my ND, there is no famale tenant that i didn't see her unclothedness to more than a million time, even when i went back for my HND, i did thesame thing.

I'm currently serving right now, and i'm still doing thesame thing here. I peep on my neigbhous and fellow corps member here.

I've been doing this for six years, and i've never being caught. Sometimes i ask God; why was i not being caught all those times in school, why didn't GOD want me to get caught.

I've tried every possible means to stop it, but all failed, even when i don't want to do it, my spirit will keep pushing me & if i don't do it at that time, i won't rest.

It seems i can't live without it.

I know someday i will be caught and embarrassed and get my pictures uploaded online for this crime.

I'm afraid, i need help.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

Blake755:
I need an honest answer why is it those who doesn't believe in God are always successful

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Religion is for the weak..
Religion is for the ignorant.. ignorance makes you weak.. therefore religion is for the weak who are too scared to think for themself..

KINGJAJA888:
Nairalanders Good day. My Pops is a Senior Pastor in one of the Pentecostal Churches in Nigeria and has devoted his life to Church.
Ironically I don't believe in God. Never been the religious type. I See no sense that in 2022 humans still live by a book written by someone in 18BC. Doesn't make any sense to me.
Pops wishes I were religious lyk him carrying some big story book (Bible) with me about Lol.
I'm too woke for those fairy tales Sorry.
Watch my Pops dedicate his whole life to someone's business (Church) as they seriously exploit him.
I've advised him Severally but he won't listen. I Can't be like him. I'm Smart, Handsome, Rich and Non-religious. And I Will remain so.

Amotolongbo:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2022/04/18/cristiano-ronaldo-announces-death-newborn-son/

Maxwell775:
My cousin sister (from my mother's side) who just got admitted into the university have been staying with me for the past 4 months now. I live in a 2 bedroom flat, and my house is just a throw stone to the university school gate.

Due to financial issues she couldn't rent an apartment, so she goes to school from my house. She's 20yrs old, I'm way older than her with abt 10yrs.

Before she started living with me, it was my mother who told her parents that she could stay with me, without my knowledge or permission.

The very first day she was on her way coming to my house, my mother called me and was like her sister's daughter is coming to stay with me bla bla bla.. At first I was upset, atleast she would have informed me. Am not really close to my mom's family people, we have this distance relationship (no hate, no grudges)

Now here is the problem. She likes wearing mini skirts, short gowns and tight trousers or leggings. Infact what she wears indoors is worse, she will put on very hot bum short, crop top and all manner of rubbish!!

Truth be told, I use to have very strong and hard erection whenever she walks. @20 if you see her banging body?? Slim, figure 8, Coca-Cola bottle shape. Her nyash dey clap if she dey walk. I don't wanna be emphasizing on that...But seriously she's tormenting me. Make I no go shift her pant, I don't wanna commit abomination. But mind you, I have a girlfriend.

Nairalanders please, How do I talk to her about dressing decently, without her feeling insecured or impression of a pervert.

pinkPUSSY:
https://dailypost.ng/2022/01/30/money-ritual-nigerians-express-worry-over-killing-of-girl-by-teenagers-in-ogun/?utm_term=Autofeed&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1643532782