₦airaland Forum

i don't think there is anything like 100% trust sha because whether u like it or not there will be doubts at one point or the other.

I suppose that why dating / courtship is important so one can disperse whatever doubts exist before committing to marriage. If both parties are in a godly relationship 100% trust can be achieved. It is possible not to have 100% trust in a relationship where they are sleeping together. In my opinion why should you trust a person 100% when God cannot trust him/her. If they can sleep together without getting married, what stops them from doing so with someone else or even in marriage.

It is the believe that you partner has the fear of God that gives one the confidence to trust 100%. You cannot be with the person all the time so you definitely don't know what the person would be up to or can do. But knowing that the person loves God and fears Him, you can trust 100%

its really not easy for me because it always feel like i will die.i love him so much and can't afford not to talk to him.we always try to resolve our differences so as to prevent any hurt for one another

I understand what you mean. Women generally can stand the silent treatment while it seems men are anointed to give it. However, it is always best to resolve things as soon as possible so we don't give place to the devil.

Just as 'to me' said, time spent keeping malice is part of your life wasted

no, never! u should never give anybody your 100 percent trust, it should be OK 4 d relationship, not totally, u cud wreck yourself n thaz what drives people to commit suicide once d trusted one bleeps up, me i say no.

Trust should be 100% in a relationship from both parties if true love really exists. The truth about love is that you empower the person you love with the ability to hurt you the most. We cannot change that fact, it is how love works.

However in loving someone, you must give room for mistakes and errors because we are human.Only God is perfect so if our dearly loved ones goofs we should turn to God for strength and not commit suicide

I realized that some couples can afford to stay without talking to one another for days after a quarrel, while others cannot, even for hours.
How long can you stay without talking to your spouse after a quarrel?.
Also, I noticed that men will rather (out of ego) want their spouse to be the first to break the ice

I use to be a maestro in giving the silent treatment, but now I try to get over my anger quickly and try to resolve things with my wife before going to bed on in bed. True, the male ego prefers the woman to start the reconciliation, it shouldn't always be like that. I guess couples can take turn in breaking the ice so the other person doesn't feel bad having to do so all the time.

I realized that some couples can afford to stay without talking to one another for days after a quarrel, while others cannot, even for hours.
How long can you stay without talking to your spouse after a quarrel?.
Also, I noticed that men will rather (out of ego) want their spouse to be the first to break the ice

I use to be a maestro in giving the silent treatment, but now I try to get over my anger quickly and try to resolve things with my wife before going to bed on in bed. True, the male ego prefers the woman to start the reconciliation, it shouldn't always be like that. I guess couples can take turn in breaking the ice so the other person doesn't feel bad having to do so all the time.

These are my suggestions
1. Producers should concentrate on producing quality films rather than quantity.
2. Nigerian culture and society should be depicted We shouldn't try to imitate foreign styles, accents, dresses etc. Just as was mentioned, the Indians portray their culture in their films.
3. Good movie scripts
4. Each movie should come to a conclusive end and not to be continue in part 2,3 etc.

, being friends above all matters, finding your spouse attractive matters, , and above all marrying someone that has the fear of God is just essential to me.

spot on! Being friends is important and having the fear of God that crowns everything.

This is a good initiative and would be of benefit to webmasters. The key to generating income on line is traffic. It can be a hectic tasks to generate enough traffic for your website to reach critical mass when it markets itself. Having networks of webmasters / bloggers working together would help in that sense.

keep this thread and initiative alive. Count me in :- http://www.peleodiase.com

It's true that love should be the prime mover for any relationship but it isn't the only factor to consider. Two people in love may not be suitable partners
Consider situations where both have the sickle cell traits which would eventually produce sicklers, that's just one scenario

Come on all the brothers in the house, dentdon't make it look as if the love and money issue has to do with the girls alone.

true talk ! Money answereth all things, but the love of money is the root of all evils.

Love should be the motivating factor and prime mover of any relationship , the greatest is love, Money is not evil, it's a tool that takes up the character of it's owner. If you are loving and caring you would use you money to bless people. If you are selfish wicked and evil, guess what? your money would be just like that

NO MONEY NO HONEY.

money is not everything
a poor man thinks about money while the rich think about unlimited wealth

i guess this new year, i will just make it a point to reacquaint myself with my male friends Maybe after a few cold hand shakes with them, he will realise that he has passed adolescent stage. As i know it, as a man matures the level of his friendship with girls depreciates compared to when he was single abi? am i wrong?

You made a wise decision to reduce the number of male friends you had when your relationship got serious, I won't advise you re-establish those relationships just to prove a point to him. Don't sow seeds of jealously and revenge.

A guy doesn't necessarily become more responsible with women with age or in marriage, whatever character one has when single would only be amplified in marriage. If he truly loves you and cares about how you feel and your relationship, he'll make amends and establish boundaries. You get what you tolerate in a relationship.

infact generous is the key word, doesn't mind forgiving his wife several times for her sins like cheating on him both sexually and emotionally, some don't even mind her fooling around.

With that definition of a caring man, would you then agree that a woman should be a woman that allows her husband to sleep with other women in her home and still forgive him?

this is a testimony that good men still exist and you are blessed to have one. these are some of the storms that face marriages and how we overcome matters. You have made efforts to resolve issues which is very commendable, now that your relationship is restored you may need to help your husband learn to seek ways to resolve issues. If all the time you have to take the initiative to seek solutions you may burn out after a while.

this is a testimony that good men still exist and you are blessed to have one. these are some of the storms that face marriages and how we overcome matters. You have made efforts to resolve issues which is very commendable, now that your relationship is restored you may need to help your husband learn to seek ways to resolve issues. If all the time you have to take the initiative to seek solutions you may burn out after a while.

it depends on the dept of the relationship, the relationship has to get to some point before seek to eliminate his female companions, remember you were one of them before your relationship started with him. He cannot get rid of them over night.

haven said that, do not take the relationship to the next level until you have been able to deal with the other ladies in his life properly or you would be going in for a life long struggle for his attention. What he is now would be what he would be if you eventually decide to marry him except he deals with it before you get any deeper.

A guy that hangs around with mainly women isn't going to go far, this should be a telling sign to you to beware. He may be smooth talking and the ladies man for now but that won't last long. A man with a vision needs other men around him to challenge him.

it depicts the kind of society we live in! whereby chastity is no longer regarded and abstinence until marriage is thrown in the bin. A woman should save her self for marriage and not mess around, it isn't a privilege to take your wife's virginity it is a right. The same applies to men too.

It used to be a disgrace to the family of the bride if it is discovered that she isn't a virgin after the wedding. The man had to provide evidence that she was after the first night. I'm sure the mother of the girl understood this, that's why she asked her to lie.

Honesty, trust and integrity should be the foundation of any relationship and definitely marriage. If the girl can foolishly lie to get married, what else has she been lying about. I don't think she can be trusted.

I don't believe in re-incarnation neither does the bible suggest it exist, I'll like to have a copy of the 11 page article you talked about if you don't mind

I suppose it is a privilege to be the first child and be role models for siblings if they exist. A lot of responsibilities are required of the first child/ first male child it comes with tradition. However, you need to apply wisdom in dealing with issues especially after marriage because you allegiance shifts to you own family.

not all guys are like that, perhaps the once you've come across

I intend to showcase Seun (Nairaland) as the January 2008 personality of the month on my blog.

In my opinion, I think he has achieved enough to be recognised bearing in mind the circumstances in naija. I believe it would inspire other Nigerians home and away.

What do you guys think?

you never can tell how someone would react to silent treatment, I better to try not to if you can

I've written an Oscar acceptance speech from a list of films nominated for an Oscar award a couple of years back
To enter the prize draw all you need to do is list all the films hidden in the speech. Entry is closing soon, enter now!

view the speech here

in as much as I would like to have 6, I may plan for 3

It's OK not to confront the woman when the situation is still hot. In my opinion the best things is to walk away, deal with your anger and then approach her to talk things through. I won't advice you sleep over it because the more you think about it the worse it gets. You know how our mind works guys, we start to amplify the issue and make mountains out of mole hills.

Women generally hate silent treatment. They want to talk and may shout, it helps them express themselves, they don't always mean what they say. Knowing that fact, do not give her the silent treatment, talk to her after a while and resolve issues. It shows you are more mature and not a child to sulk over issues for day. I am speaking from my own experience and I'm still a work-in-progress. You can read more here

it depends on ur choice, you have to count the cost before you make that decision. After the wedding you automatically become a mother as well.

We do not know the full details and circumstances surrounding the guys desire for the bride to get pregnant. The fact that he demanded that, doesn't automatically make him a non christian. He may not have matured to take a stand against tradition which makes the word of God of no effect.

Is the girl in question a christian? If she is, she should consel him based on the bible. A medical examination should be able to clear any doubts about fertility.

you may want to learn how to set up and run you own blog in this series: How to set up and run your own blog.

Skills / tips acquired can be applied to setting up forums,shopping carts etc. Its currently in it's 3rd week. At the end of the series it would be available for download as an ebook for free on the website.

nairaland is more user friendly