₦airaland Forum

Adaisback:
give her space like I said earlier , send no money during this time and watch her reaction. What you see or notice during this period will automatically give you the push or stop button. You will not lose your life for trying to be a good husband

Ok let me do that because I am still funding her that is why she felt that what she did doesn’t have weight. I have try to engage her for her to explain to me the reason why she did that, she only told me that she have already apologised that I am the one that allow the devil by rejecting her proposal.

nairalanda1:
1.Because the government does not want to make everyone pay cost reflective tarrifs. Too unpopular
2.Because Nigerians do not want to pay cost reflectitve tarrifs. Too unpopular
3.Right now,we all need to pay between N230-300 per kwh to get enough light...eventually. Nigerians will start shouting poverty and oppression and refuse to pay
4.Because government wanted to reduce subsidy payments for power, so they created the band A thing.

It doesn’t make sense that some people have reasonable more power supply via band A while others are in blackout. In a reasonable country there will be protest over that, that is discrimination among citizens. A Government should give light to its citizens on equal basis without these stories. Everyone should pay equal tariffs, if citizens can’t pay then that is failure by that government to provide job opportunities and thriving business opportunities to it citizens so that they can pay for their living expenses. If everyone is in band A, a prepaid meter will be supplied to all households, if anyone can’t pay, they can regulate how much they pay by switching off their lights when it is not needed.

Adaisback:
my dear, say no more.

Follow my advise, leave the house and do it urgently.

Don't say a single word to her. Before you leave, try and record some of her actions and even say how she threatened you with arson. Now leave the house and move to a close friend or better still an hotel, block her line and make sure she is not allowed in your office.

Let her take care of herself for two weeks , watch and see if her brain will reset within this two weeks, if she is remorseful, forgive her , warn her sternly , limit some things and move on but if she is not , guy you are on your own. You never marry me that.

I love marriages but not to the extent of you losing your life to one crazy woman. What is now the essence of that marriage ?

Thanks for your advice, well noted, I doubt if she can change because if she mellow down at any other provocation she can attack, that is my headache now, I have forgiven her but how can someone hold lighter in her hand threatening to light someone up with fuel over disagreement.

nairalanda1:
1.Band A pay cost reflective tarrifs. Band B, C, D, E don't
2.Band A can pay as high as n230 or more. Band C maybe n160, or less. Band B is around 180 naira...
3.Band A consumers are being rewarded for paying more in power supply, not for being 'rich'. One can be rich and live in a band C area, one can be poor and live in a band A area.
4. The difference between cost of power and the actual tarifis payed by Band B-E is supposed to be made up by a subsidy from government, which government is still struggling to pay, and even if they paid, it isn't enough

Why should government divide electricity supply in various bands with only band A having reasonable light. Why not keep everyone on the same tariff and supply light on equal basis to all. Which countries practice such discriminatory power supply in world.

FreeStuffsNG:
And you are in Band D and E and know the 'truth '?
Many of you are so dishonest in your feedback that it beggars belief to think of what you really want aside bad for every one.

I know folks in that band and know they pay far less and recieve electricity for certain period of the day and it's constant. I equally know people who protested being moved to band A because they don’t want 24 hour electricity.

Electricity supply has remarkably improved so much that it's now 24 hour constant for weeks!

Stop this unpatriotic act of running down the country to satisfy your itchy ears for bad news. When government does well, you will not die if you acknowledge it.

You are a liar, that you are paid to support a government doesn’t mean you should be gaslighting people on something that is visible to everyone, electricity have not improved, blackout is everywhere. In portharcourt there is sound of Generators everywhere. No any improvement except those in Band A and why should there be different bands in a serious country. Some have light others don’t have. Useless government. Even in Lagos there was blackouts in Surulere and many other places.

It is a shame that there is no light in Nigeria. Blackout everywhere. Only Band A have a reasonable power supply. Why should there be band A, D etc, why can’t everyone one have equal amount of power supply in Nigeria. Why the discrimination between the poor and the rich.

everythingtall3:
There are some poison that kills small small, your enemy won't die until the next 3 year , you will just fall sick, and people will think your enemy died of natural death ...

You open a lab for her which means she's a medical student. You are living with what will kill you last last. If everything you've said is true and you didn't add anything to it.

What she showed you is preamble ... Once she has a child , if the child is a male child forget it , you are gone .

Hmm nawaoo, what will make someone go to such an extent after being good to the person. Is well sha, I have to quit. I did not add anything, rather I cut the story short. I struggled hard to retrieve the lighter from her hand because she is attempting to go for the fuel in the Gen tank.

After all my suffering in the university and upon graduation no work, I managed start up a business that is yielding fruit after 4 years of hardworking, someone will come and set me ablaze in name of marriage. Someone that I am footing all her bills including starting a business for her.

joceey:
My brother leave that marriage for a woman to try and get a knife to stab or hurt you na so e dey start also please involve your families the earlier the better.
Marriage no be do or die affair.That your wife has violence tendencies in her already the day wey e go explode it might take life away ooo.

Na so, after thinking about it I have decided to quit because she did not only go for the knife but also went for a lighter and threatening to lit 🔥 the house. One can’t even jump out because it is a two storey building. I will only inform my people and hers that the marriage has ended and tell them what happened.

So everyone thanks for all your opinion and your advice, after due deliberation without involving families. Although she has been begging for now. I have decided to quit the marriage because of the fact that she hold a lighter, lock door and threaten to set the house ablaze. I foot every bill in the house, she contribute nothing and I pay her monthly upkeep of 120k every month for the past 10 months.

ExudeLoveToAll:
Guy I only read of knife, you are bringing in another dimension to this story.. it's getting even more scarier

Yea I only cut the story short, the most scary part is hold a lighter and threatening to go for fuel.

BalticGold:
Dey there dey ask wetin you go do. E happened to my friend, his wife threaten am with kitchen knife na so my guy go incident the matter for police station, even police sef shock dey my guy wether e marry legally. Last last she leave the marriage sha.

Still recovering from the shock, imagine someone locking the door and holding lighter in her hand and threatening to pour fuel from the Gen and lit 🔥 the house and this is two storey building, stay inside na die, jump na die

Mcslize:
Read the bolded part carefully, especially that last part of the bolded where she locked the house.

I am already scare for you in person. This woman go kill you one day. I have very sharp instinct and right now I am sensing some trouble around you in the future.

I don't know how you will resolve this. The worst is that this is her inbuilt character. A kind of a possessed spirit. It's when she has done it her eyes will clear.

Brother, I am so scared for you.

Thanks noted, that is it, it is an inbuilt and a developed character

Mcslize:
I won't sugar coat this. I must tell you the truth; you're in a big trouble if this marriage is for eternity.

It is either she kill you or she set another man's house ablaze and burn you alive.

I want to ask; didn't you see these red flags during your relationship/courtship with her?

Marriage of 10 months. Expect more of this. We've been warning men to flee from toxic and disrespectful women.

I dated her for 4 months, didn’t notice this extreme anger issues, she was even assisting pastors in the church, I only noticed minor anger issues with no major explosions

Airlord2030:
what tribe is your wife?

Igbo

AllBlack:
1. she is the man of the house and shes the one paying all the bills.

2. her boyfriend is staying in or around that other house.

3. No need advising you. You have already accepted to continue the marriage if not you wouldn't be here asking faceless people questions if you value your peace and respect as a man.

4. Even if na my wife dey pay all the bills, she dare not try such crap with me. Throw my bags out? Plus knife and all the embarrassing noise she must have ben making for everyone to hear. HELL NO.

No I am the one that is paying all bills not her, I don’t think she have a boyfriend there, she got the house through agents guys.

Sandralight:
That is the main fear but we are not living with you.
If you think you will keep having anxiety of her hurting you then just quit now before it's too late

Ok let me see if I can recover after 1 week

Sandralight:
4 months is very Short sha but you are the one living with her so you are least understand her.
You guys just talk to someone you both have Respect for.
Also communicate with her that her behavior wasn't proper and she shouldn't do that again, you guys are young couple and having your own properties and building your life is the goal, no matter how much you rent an house, the house will never become yours and one year will just finish in a blink of an eye.

Make she try manage with you so you guys will enjoy in the future.
Try talk it out sha, if she doesn't listen or does this violence again then you might start thinking of other plans

Ok thanks for your kind advice, my fear now is that since it is an inbuilt something, what if I offend her in the future and she will just lit 🔥 me up and start regretting. That is the question I am asking her now, what if she have killed me out of anger, will she see me to start apologising.

Sandralight:
This is serious, why will she do all this things just because of changing of house or there is an underlying issues before.
I hate domestic violence with all my might, be it from the husband or from the wife.

I think you should involve someone you both look up to or get a Marriage counselor because if you don't nip this at bud at this early stage, it will lead to a more serious problem, using knife or fire in a argument is a very serious situation.
Try to talk to someone you both respect or a counselor but if your wife have been showing aggression even during dating stage then you should reconsider the marriage before you start having children.

As far as I know, there is no underlying issues, the argument started when he first told me about the new house and I gave her reasons to retain the the place we are living, only for her to go ahead with agents and make arrangements for the new one and I refuse to pay and argument degenerated into her pushing me in a physical combat. Looking for kitchen knife and eventually took up a lighter and threatened to pour fuel from the Gen and light up the house, before then she have lock the the house, had she pour the fuel and light up the house the only option I have is to jump from the two storey building. Although while begging she have said she have anger issues that can destroy things, i dated her for 4 months before marriage I didn’t notice it.

Kobojunkie:
You stated that the business was set up with her 3 million, did you not? 🥱🥱🥱

Is my own money that is use to start the business for her

Diamond098454:
What did you do? Your wife can't do that if you didn't do something that hurts her so bad.

You married men don't stay one place

You better go an apologize to your wife

Who knows, maybe you are giving your third leg to every girl out there.

Nothing like that, no cheating so far in our union, her anger is that she wasted time and alot 5k to agents to make arrangement for the new house and I turn it down. She has been begging and said she have anger issues that can lead her in brandishing weapons including destroying properties.

Gotocourt:
Knife 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩.
Run for your life

She was looking for kitchen knife but couldn’t take it finally but went for a lighter and threatened to use fuel and lit 🔥 the house.

Gotocourt:
Involve family members as witnesses oOoOO

Had been thinking about it but if I involved family members the marriage will end. No family will ever accept a woman that threatens the husband, even going to an extent of bringing a lighter threatening to set the house ablaze with fuel.

MarketDispatch:
I suggest you do a section of the house ..either your seating room with POP and those type of room design you see on social media from part of the savings if you do not go to the 1.6m house.

I would guess your wife wants to be doing content and show off...that's why she is insisting on moving.

I opened a lab business for her because she is lab scientist so she have no intentions to be a content creator because her lab activities is busy. For POP one can’t just rebuild someone house beside I am building my own house in same city gradually not at fast pace.

larryUG:
I told you. She will beg and blame the devil. That is what every abuser,man or woman, does. Now it will cool down, but something else will trigger her. What kind of anger will make a human being start looking for a knife? May you not end up like Maryam's husband or that military guy who was killed by his wife

That is my fear, although she is begging there might be a tendency for her to repeat it

Belurved1:
Do you dey see shege when she never born piking for you...if she born omo just run be that..

Nobi small thing, it may go worse

Baronthecelebri:
If you want to live divorce her ASAP, if you want to die keep her. Your choice

Nawaoo, she had been begging

duduade:
I think it's the POP design that's attractive to her
Aesthetic accomodation for you

Anyway just find a way round it... Because you can only enjoy your home when your wife is happy

Fact

I am a man

Yes she wants a more modern house but the place is far from town and requires entering Okada to reach the place. I am not ready to jumping on okada here and there to reach home.

larryUG:
Lol. You have to involve someone, your family.
Truth is, your marriage cannot work. Someone has made arrangements and is telling you that you must pay that day or she will stab you and smash your stuff. Next time, she will tell you to buy a car for her or she will stab you. Unfortunately, this marriage should end. People don't change when it comes to violence. If you want to manage it, it's either she kills you or you kill her because this is just the beginning. Later she will come and beg and say sorry but that is what every abuser does, including the late Osinachi's husband that ended up killing her

Ok thanks noted because she has been begging since yesterday because i left the house, she have call 100 times and said it was devil 😈 that entered. That she will never try it again. That she can now stay in the house as I want it.

MarketDispatch:
It's not just to move to a location far from town. Availability of basic social amenities have to be considered. Hospitals, markets , emergency services, etc etc

If your wife is insisting, what is her driving factor?. If it is POP, get POP to be fixed in your current place.

For the violence part, There must be something apart from the POP that is making your wife violent. You will get the answer from whoever she is chatting with on her WhatsApp.

Being close to better services is the reason I prefer paying 1m to already good place we are staying. There is nothing apart from POP that is driving her, she just want to stay in a designer house that she sees on social media, not that the place we are staying now is not fine, it has fine tiles, 1 master bath and visitor bath. The new place is smaller and one have drop at a junction and use Okada to reach home, so commuting will be quite difficult. I can’t do POP because it not my house whereas the house have fine designer ceiling although not POP and house was a modern house built 4 years ago.

Kobojunkie:
I suggest you separate yourself immediately from the environment, and consider ending the marriage as well. If you need to, move back immediately with your parents and stay there until you have successfully ended the marriage. Abuse is not acceptable under any condition. Also, begin working on paying her back the money you owe her. You should both, individually, seek counseling before considering any chances of reconciliation in the future.

I am not owing her a dime, I have a profitable business and I am a sole provider in the union

Deepspirituals:
. Go and Write today's date down ...You already have the Person that Would kill you under your Roof ...it's a matter of Little time ..Keep Harbouring her ,You love her right ...Na that same love Go kill U ...What a funny Question you are asking ..Instead of you to Quietly take your things and move out of that House right away and go and look for a other Apartment in a Different Environment that she doesn't know only you would stay to save your life ,You are still Planning with her ..Don't Worry ,You hear ..

Hmm ok thanks, nobi small thing, is so sudden for me