₦airaland Forum

After all my suffering in the university and upon graduation no work, I managed start up a business that is yielding fruit after 4 years of hardworking, someone will come and set me ablaze in name of marriage. Someone that I am footing all her bills including starting a business for her.

joceey:
My brother leave that marriage for a woman to try and get a knife to stab or hurt you na so e dey start also please involve your families the earlier the better.
Marriage no be do or die affair.That your wife has violence tendencies in her already the day wey e go explode it might take life away ooo.

Na so, after thinking about it I have decided to quit because she did not only go for the knife but also went for a lighter and threatening to lit 🔥 the house. One can’t even jump out because it is a two storey building. I will only inform my people and hers that the marriage has ended and tell them what happened.

So everyone thanks for all your opinion and your advice, after due deliberation without involving families. Although she has been begging for now. I have decided to quit the marriage because of the fact that she hold a lighter, lock door and threaten to set the house ablaze. I foot every bill in the house, she contribute nothing and I pay her monthly upkeep of 120k every month for the past 10 months.

ExudeLoveToAll:
Guy I only read of knife, you are bringing in another dimension to this story.. it's getting even more scarier

Yea I only cut the story short, the most scary part is hold a lighter and threatening to go for fuel.

BalticGold:
Dey there dey ask wetin you go do. E happened to my friend, his wife threaten am with kitchen knife na so my guy go incident the matter for police station, even police sef shock dey my guy wether e marry legally. Last last she leave the marriage sha.

Still recovering from the shock, imagine someone locking the door and holding lighter in her hand and threatening to pour fuel from the Gen and lit 🔥 the house and this is two storey building, stay inside na die, jump na die

Mcslize:
Read the bolded part carefully, especially that last part of the bolded where she locked the house.

I am already scare for you in person. This woman go kill you one day. I have very sharp instinct and right now I am sensing some trouble around you in the future.

I don't know how you will resolve this. The worst is that this is her inbuilt character. A kind of a possessed spirit. It's when she has done it her eyes will clear.

Brother, I am so scared for you.

Thanks noted, that is it, it is an inbuilt and a developed character

Mcslize:
I won't sugar coat this. I must tell you the truth; you're in a big trouble if this marriage is for eternity.

It is either she kill you or she set another man's house ablaze and burn you alive.

I want to ask; didn't you see these red flags during your relationship/courtship with her?

Marriage of 10 months. Expect more of this. We've been warning men to flee from toxic and disrespectful women.

I dated her for 4 months, didn’t notice this extreme anger issues, she was even assisting pastors in the church, I only noticed minor anger issues with no major explosions

Airlord2030:
what tribe is your wife?

Igbo

AllBlack:
1. she is the man of the house and shes the one paying all the bills.

2. her boyfriend is staying in or around that other house.

3. No need advising you. You have already accepted to continue the marriage if not you wouldn't be here asking faceless people questions if you value your peace and respect as a man.

4. Even if na my wife dey pay all the bills, she dare not try such crap with me. Throw my bags out? Plus knife and all the embarrassing noise she must have ben making for everyone to hear. HELL NO.

No I am the one that is paying all bills not her, I don’t think she have a boyfriend there, she got the house through agents guys.

Sandralight:
That is the main fear but we are not living with you.
If you think you will keep having anxiety of her hurting you then just quit now before it's too late

Ok let me see if I can recover after 1 week

Sandralight:
4 months is very Short sha but you are the one living with her so you are least understand her.
You guys just talk to someone you both have Respect for.
Also communicate with her that her behavior wasn't proper and she shouldn't do that again, you guys are young couple and having your own properties and building your life is the goal, no matter how much you rent an house, the house will never become yours and one year will just finish in a blink of an eye.

Make she try manage with you so you guys will enjoy in the future.
Try talk it out sha, if she doesn't listen or does this violence again then you might start thinking of other plans

Ok thanks for your kind advice, my fear now is that since it is an inbuilt something, what if I offend her in the future and she will just lit 🔥 me up and start regretting. That is the question I am asking her now, what if she have killed me out of anger, will she see me to start apologising.

Sandralight:
This is serious, why will she do all this things just because of changing of house or there is an underlying issues before.
I hate domestic violence with all my might, be it from the husband or from the wife.

I think you should involve someone you both look up to or get a Marriage counselor because if you don't nip this at bud at this early stage, it will lead to a more serious problem, using knife or fire in a argument is a very serious situation.
Try to talk to someone you both respect or a counselor but if your wife have been showing aggression even during dating stage then you should reconsider the marriage before you start having children.

As far as I know, there is no underlying issues, the argument started when he first told me about the new house and I gave her reasons to retain the the place we are living, only for her to go ahead with agents and make arrangements for the new one and I refuse to pay and argument degenerated into her pushing me in a physical combat. Looking for kitchen knife and eventually took up a lighter and threatened to pour fuel from the Gen and light up the house, before then she have lock the the house, had she pour the fuel and light up the house the only option I have is to jump from the two storey building. Although while begging she have said she have anger issues that can destroy things, i dated her for 4 months before marriage I didn’t notice it.

Kobojunkie:
You stated that the business was set up with her 3 million, did you not? 🥱🥱🥱

Is my own money that is use to start the business for her

Diamond098454:
What did you do? Your wife can't do that if you didn't do something that hurts her so bad.

You married men don't stay one place

You better go an apologize to your wife

Who knows, maybe you are giving your third leg to every girl out there.

Nothing like that, no cheating so far in our union, her anger is that she wasted time and alot 5k to agents to make arrangement for the new house and I turn it down. She has been begging and said she have anger issues that can lead her in brandishing weapons including destroying properties.

Gotocourt:
Knife 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩.
Run for your life

She was looking for kitchen knife but couldn’t take it finally but went for a lighter and threatened to use fuel and lit 🔥 the house.

Gotocourt:
Involve family members as witnesses oOoOO

Had been thinking about it but if I involved family members the marriage will end. No family will ever accept a woman that threatens the husband, even going to an extent of bringing a lighter threatening to set the house ablaze with fuel.

MarketDispatch:
I suggest you do a section of the house ..either your seating room with POP and those type of room design you see on social media from part of the savings if you do not go to the 1.6m house.

I would guess your wife wants to be doing content and show off...that's why she is insisting on moving.

I opened a lab business for her because she is lab scientist so she have no intentions to be a content creator because her lab activities is busy. For POP one can’t just rebuild someone house beside I am building my own house in same city gradually not at fast pace.

larryUG:
I told you. She will beg and blame the devil. That is what every abuser,man or woman, does. Now it will cool down, but something else will trigger her. What kind of anger will make a human being start looking for a knife? May you not end up like Maryam's husband or that military guy who was killed by his wife

That is my fear, although she is begging there might be a tendency for her to repeat it

Belurved1:
Do you dey see shege when she never born piking for you...if she born omo just run be that..

Nobi small thing, it may go worse

Baronthecelebri:
If you want to live divorce her ASAP, if you want to die keep her. Your choice

Nawaoo, she had been begging

duduade:
I think it's the POP design that's attractive to her
Aesthetic accomodation for you

Anyway just find a way round it... Because you can only enjoy your home when your wife is happy

Fact

I am a man

Yes she wants a more modern house but the place is far from town and requires entering Okada to reach the place. I am not ready to jumping on okada here and there to reach home.

larryUG:
Lol. You have to involve someone, your family.
Truth is, your marriage cannot work. Someone has made arrangements and is telling you that you must pay that day or she will stab you and smash your stuff. Next time, she will tell you to buy a car for her or she will stab you. Unfortunately, this marriage should end. People don't change when it comes to violence. If you want to manage it, it's either she kills you or you kill her because this is just the beginning. Later she will come and beg and say sorry but that is what every abuser does, including the late Osinachi's husband that ended up killing her

Ok thanks noted because she has been begging since yesterday because i left the house, she have call 100 times and said it was devil 😈 that entered. That she will never try it again. That she can now stay in the house as I want it.

MarketDispatch:
It's not just to move to a location far from town. Availability of basic social amenities have to be considered. Hospitals, markets , emergency services, etc etc

If your wife is insisting, what is her driving factor?. If it is POP, get POP to be fixed in your current place.

For the violence part, There must be something apart from the POP that is making your wife violent. You will get the answer from whoever she is chatting with on her WhatsApp.

Being close to better services is the reason I prefer paying 1m to already good place we are staying. There is nothing apart from POP that is driving her, she just want to stay in a designer house that she sees on social media, not that the place we are staying now is not fine, it has fine tiles, 1 master bath and visitor bath. The new place is smaller and one have drop at a junction and use Okada to reach home, so commuting will be quite difficult. I can’t do POP because it not my house whereas the house have fine designer ceiling although not POP and house was a modern house built 4 years ago.

Kobojunkie:
I suggest you separate yourself immediately from the environment, and consider ending the marriage as well. If you need to, move back immediately with your parents and stay there until you have successfully ended the marriage. Abuse is not acceptable under any condition. Also, begin working on paying her back the money you owe her. You should both, individually, seek counseling before considering any chances of reconciliation in the future.

I am not owing her a dime, I have a profitable business and I am a sole provider in the union

Deepspirituals:
. Go and Write today's date down ...You already have the Person that Would kill you under your Roof ...it's a matter of Little time ..Keep Harbouring her ,You love her right ...Na that same love Go kill U ...What a funny Question you are asking ..Instead of you to Quietly take your things and move out of that House right away and go and look for a other Apartment in a Different Environment that she doesn't know only you would stay to save your life ,You are still Planning with her ..Don't Worry ,You hear ..

Hmm ok thanks, nobi small thing, is so sudden for me

meobizy:
Did you not recite vows during your wedding? Na only traditional marriage you do? What God put together, no man can put asunder. Stay and carry your cross. At least if she goes through with her threat, I will come to debate with others in the thread regarding her arrest.

Yea that is why i am looking for opinions because someone is trapped

MiamiLord:
I dey feed you, i dey cloth you, open good bussiness for you with my hard earned money and you get mind dey threaten to damage my stuffs over irrelevant issue.

Omo married men una dey see things o because i can never tolerate such attitude even if it's her first time.

I go humble her

Omo you don see am, for Nigerians settings men try to be a good husband as a provider as far as the cash is coming but surprising a woman that one is shouldering everything for will have the effrontery to physically be pushing his husband around and threatening him just to move to a more modern house at all cost.

chatinent:
She threatened you to leave or she will stab you? She's damaging things?

I don't know how you do it but inasmuch as I don't hit women, if you pick a knife to threaten me in my house, you will be humbled immediately.

Not that one can react but I was dumbfounded first and to calm the situation having seen news of couple stabbing theirselves.

Sirchiboy:
End the marriage now.
Imagine giving her 120k monthly for upkeep for only two of u

That is the most surprising thing for me, she contribute nothing financially in the house

ayoncox:
Stay calm and tell her it's okay as long as she is going to provide the money. Tell her we are going to stay her one or two years more and stop behaving like a kid but stay cautious

I told her that and that was what provoked her and she insisted I must pay it and she goes physical look for kitchen knife and going physical. She had been begging but i still confused.

brain54:
Seems this is the first time she has thrown such tantrums...


Better put your foot 🦶 down if you don't want it to continue.


If you are the one from whose pocket the rent is coming from and the one wearing the pants then this matter shouldn't confuse you as to what to do.

The sooner you recover and stand your ground the better for you. Give in and be ready to always have to bow to her tantrums


There are just some things that a man shouldn't tolerate or accept!

Thanks, I have not experienced this kind of thing in my life, what an effrontery, some will will say the person is weak but when one person goes physically tendency of going for weapons, I have to calm to understand what is happening

I need an opinion, I live in 1 bedroom room flat, room and parlour with dining of 800k per year, the landlord recently increased it to 1m but my wife insisted that we move to another room and parlour that is smaller and far from town only that the house have POP design at 1.6 million. I told her that the place we are staying is better and we can save 600k then unprovoked she said she have finished making arrangements with the other house that I must pay the money that day. To my greatest surprise she started physically pushing me around, bring out our wedding pictures and throw on it the bed and went to kitchen looking for kitchen knife. She was looking for kitchen knife but couldn’t take it finally but went for a lighter and threatened to use fuel and lit 🔥 the house. She bring out all my bag and ask me leave the house or she will smash all my belongings including labtops and phone. Is a shock to me, yet to recover. Note I am a sole provider in the union, she contribute nothing, I gave her monthly upkeep of 120k, I take care of every Damm expenses in the house. I started a lab business for her with 3 m. The marriage is about 10 months, no kid yet. We have not have major issues except minor issues which we resolve.
I haven’t involved families yet, I want see opinions first, mod pls front page.