₦airaland Forum

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I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead i bought a raffle ticket for a brand new car. When i got home,i explained to my dad what i did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day,when my dad woke up and opened the door,outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me,because the car was from the electricity company,they were there to cut off the electricity, my dad beat the crap out of me again

Lastweek my girlfriend invited me to her house. I found her sister alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy! She wore a very tight miniskirt and was bra-less on that day. She told me that her sister had to rush somewhere and had instructed her to tell me that she will make up for the meeting later that evening. We are to get married in a few weeks time. After a little chit chat, she whispered that she had feelings and desires for me that shecouldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me justonce before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. She said, “I’m going to my bedroom,and if you want one last wild fling, just come over and get me.” I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car, I opened the door and Lo! behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." Moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in the car.

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We learn everyday.

Nice one

“KEVIN SAID IT BEST. REAL MAN EAT BOOTY AND AIN’T NOTHING REALER THAN GOING OUT WITH YOUR TONGUE IN A ROUND ASS”
Johnathan also had one more request and that was to get him some wet wipes for his mouth, because cleanliness is next to Godliness and he wasn’t getting through the pearly gates with boo-boo breath.

Na expired sperm dey inside osho testicles..

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More of her works.

Kindly push this to the front-page moderator..

The new standard!

Ceramic with a dash of colour and African style

The two legends with a limited bottle of Belvedere done by Gogo herself

The Legend’s home is a showpiece in itself

Taking Ndebele Art to the Skies

The magnum opus: BMW meets Ndebele brilliance

In 1986, some researchers from Paris went around the world documenting art and culture. They did not know they would end up looking at Esther Mahlangu’s house in Weltevrede, Kwamhlanga in South Africa’s Mpumalanga. They were looking at meticulously done patterns and bright colours of a Ndebele artistic legend who has now conquered not only South Africa but Japan, Italy and France. After discovering her and facilitating for her to travel to France with her 50 kg worth of mealie-meal supplies, Gogo Mahlangu was invited to paint a prototype of the new BMW 525i , a first for women let alone for black women. She has not stopped since then and recently, she collaborated with American singer John Legend in an effort to fight AIDS. Gogo Mahlangu in partnership with Belvedere Luxury Vodka created Ndebele printed bottles which will be used for fundraising towards fighting HIV/AIDS.

Among her other notable feats, the artistic genius was commissioned to paint the tail of a British Airways Boeing, was commissioned by the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts in the United States of America to create two large works of art. Recently, Gogo Mahlangu again got her hands on a BMW, this time a 7-Series which has been transformed into another undeniable masterpiece. The amalgam of BMW luxury and Ndebele patterns and colours is probably the best thing the world has seen this year. This woman is simply not stopping! The car will be shown to the public for the first time at the 2016 Frieze Art Fair (October 5-9) in Regent’s Park, London. Here are some select artworks by the legendary Gogo Mahlangu

[quote author=fighal post=49083439]A man woke up and shouted "HolyGhostFire!!

"Wife: what is it, was lion chasing you?.

Man: that would have been better.

Wife: what is it then

Man: I nearly voted Buhari again in my dream

Wife: Blood of Jesus! Honey, lets pray.

[/quoted]

I think the best of all time is Khalid bin waleed.

10. Nguyen Hue

Nguyen Hue or King Quang Trung was very talent in war strategies and tactics. He moved fifty thousands soldiers from Hue to Ha Noi (more than 600km apart) on foot in 3 days in the year of late 1780. He defeated Chinese Tang's army in 200, 000 soldier in one day. He defeated Thai's invasive army of fifty thousands soldiers also in few hours in another occasion. He defeated French's navy without a warship. He never lost one battle in his whole life.

9. Khalid ibn al-Walid

Khalid bin walid (R. A) is not was the most powerful military general or commander of all time and in the history of mankind.
Every time with very little troops of him he conquered large and monsterous military like persian and romans. I would say one thing about roman military that roman military were the most powerful military at that time and if I ask which nation has got the most powerful military in this generation then every one's mind will have an answer either USA or Russia. If we guage or measure power of Roman military with todays USA OR Russia's military then Roman military was 7 times powerful than USA or Russia military.

8. Julius Caesar

ery few generals can boast having one so many pitched battles at such damning odds. He was a brilliant tactician, able to make effective use of his troops to achieve various and often unorthodox tactical advantages. To add to this, he was able to wage and win a civil war against a powerful general with an army of equal discipline and greater numbers AND the weight of legitimacy against him. He could not have done just anything to win the civil war. The politics of civil war in Rome were extremely tricky, and only a brilliant man could win a war while acting within the socio-political constraints of Rome to preserve his popularity and establish his supremacy.

7. Hannibal Barca

Hannibal Barka will forever be remembered as the man who brought Rome to its knees. Such a feat has seldom been repeated, and many of my friends would never have even heard of Carthage were it not for him. Every battle he fought, the Romans had every advantage, numbers, terrain, you name it, the Romans had it. But the one thing they didn't have was Hannibal. He was, defeated, it's true. But as I said, Rome still had every advantage. The general who beat him did not beat him purely out of military skill the way Hannibal did.

6. Genghis Khan

Genghis Khan ruled the largest contigious empire in the world to date: The Mongol Empire. It pretty much covered almost ALL of Asia and some parts of Eastern Europe. The Mongols pretty much killed anyone who got in their way and nobody could've stopped them. Even the Abbasid Islamic Empire couldn't stop them. Of course they were defeated off by the Mamluks, but remember the only reason they didn't conquer Western Europe was because their king got sick. Otherwise, who knows how the history of the world could've changed considering that Western Europe pretty much took over the entire world.

Adekunle Benjamin was among best generals in Nigeria

5.Võ Nguyên Giáp

He deserves to be one of the best of the best of the best! He led a very weak Vietnam to fight against a far more powerful French army in terms of military and financial power within 9 years. He had bright and creative strategies to fight back and win over US Army, the strongest military ever in history in the next 20 years!