₦airaland Forum

* When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.

*Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions

*Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.

*Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

*The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.

*If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".

*Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

* Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...

*Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.

*Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.

*When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone

*A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.

*

* A Japanese man can eat 17 hot dogs in 42 seconds ... Chuck Norris can eat 42 Japanese men in 17 seconds.

* In the Beggining there was nothing ... then Chuck Norris round-house kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

* In an interview for Times Chuck Norris was asked what he thought about all the Chuck Norris Jokes circulating around. He simply replied that they weren't jokes then went back to his daily routine of drinking a mug of nails.

* If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would win.

* If by some miracle 1 of Chuck Norris' round-house kicks missed you, the wind from behind the kick would disembowel you.

* Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

* Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

* If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, 'Two seconds till.' After you ask, 'Two seconds to what?'

* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

*.When God said, 'Let There Be LIGHT!'
Chuck said, 'Say Please.'

*.The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once ...ONCE.

* Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

*Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

* On the 7th day, God rested ... Chuck Norris took over.

* Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

* Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.

* Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

* Norris can divide by zero.

Who cares

Next please..

Okay

.

That's cool

.

I have a girlfriend who is a police officer. When she misses me, she just come to my house in uniform and arrest me in presence of my wife and take me to her home till the next day.

Then she bring me back and tell my wife “we are not done with investigations yet. I shall pick him up anytime we want more from him“

And my innocent wife will always say: 'madam officer, God bless you for handling my husband's case with care I will make sure he is always available anytime you need him''.

Is it that we love doing hide and seek in this country..

Even if you perform with cross on your neck, who cares..

momove4real25:
express in front of dangote truck

Please lead me there

Please where is the easiest route to hell??

Iranu

Oyo

How do we know a cow bitten by a snake

EgunMogaji:
Fate, not faith. I hope.

Unless you belong to a tribal mark religion

Thank you jare

The first one is Echo
The second is footsteps

I have a tribal mark too but I didn't commit suicide.. I have accepted my fate

Please how do i treat Differed tax??

The religious affiliation of the Israeli population as of 2011 was 75.4% Jewish, 16.9% Muslim, 2.1% Christian, and 1.7% Druze, with the remaining 4.0% including both minor faiths such as Samaritanism and Baha'iism, and irreligious people with no faith. Israel does not have a constitution.

I don't fucking care as far as it's locally made..

They can keep salivating

Kingjags:
He's my Mum elder brother, same Mother but different Father. I was told there's a land dispute at home and the way my mum told us, I think he partner with some alleged government agency to grab people land and when the people came knocking at his door to give them explanation, he denied knowing about it and he mentioned those involved. I guess those ones sees him as a traitor and you know what happens to traitors. He was shot, butchered, his head was taken away an burnt. RIP uncle

That means we are from the same town.

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edimolu:
Lol...@op how bou u turn dis around nd ask the guys...i feel ud see a lot

That's going to be suicidal.

Nomfanelo99:
let's rather stick to English... not bad though

What language is that?

This is serious