₦airaland Forum

fem29:
Aww honey I don't know the name either.

But take heart dear . Gird up your loins. All what you are going through will make you stronger if you go into it with the right attitude. You feel let down by your hubby. People will always let you down because they are only human .

Please focus on how to get income now to avoid . Disrespect. A start is to advertise your beads in stella dimoko korkus blog . Make them affordable and you will surely sell. Also try to get a job. Teaching primary school? . I think this should simply teach you to expect less from people. Don't expect people to always be there for you.

Thanks soo much. I'll check the blog out.

@ richy4. Thanks. if he suffers much, I don't really care, I don't think the pain of betrayal I felt can be compared to any suffering his undergoing. I and sil are two important people in his life but do not occupy the same position in his life. I don't think he will feel good if I fail to protect him from my people. He broke the oath first. Don't forget that any day, any time, a man ought to be the voice of his wife especially in family matters like this. She's voiceless without him. He really failed me.

GHoJes:
Young woman, you are your main problem.

This is what you get when you believe a woman's place start and end with her husband. Will you please drop your senseless niceness and take your place. Your sister inlaw works and get paid but you decide to feel guilty for paying yourself. Your husband belongs to the group that stay indifferent on family issues but has not stopped you from you from taking your place. Act for yourself and stop waiting for your hubby or running from your from your sil.

All this get job, get job, how easy is it? Do you know that the experience and stipends from working in his shop can facilitate your getting job? Plus it gives you time for home and kids, helps your bead business.

Your sil is taking your place and you are running. God forbid your husband becomes ill or something you will be begging her for money. Even if you have your own job you should still be interested in it, Walk into the shop anytime and be respected. Forget about drawal position, work like its your own and pay yourself, when she goes for nysc, change things to your taste so that it will be difficult for her to have a foothold again. Dont wait till her nysc before resuming or she will pursue you again after service besides you might learn some business tricks from her. If after it you still want to get a job, do but not because your sil chased you.

You see the didn't end with my sil alone. After the fight, dh invited his elder brother to come make peace between us (sil and i). According to brother, "iyawo, a wife never wins argument over husband (sil in this case). and where ever there's peace between two people, one person must be suffering and I want you to be the one suffering. When you go the shop, join in selling after all its your husband's shop". Just like many of you here, he doesn't know how busy the shop can be. It's not one that I will carry a baby on my back and be going up and down attending to customers all day long. As to the issue of money, even if I decide to pay myself, I won't do it freely cos madam will be sitted right there and might know how much I took.
You see, I'm not running away from sil, it's just that during the peace talks, we were made to promise to keep peace and I know that this peace can only be maintained by my keeping away. secondly I don't like going to the shop again-it makes me sad.
And please I don't believe that my world revolves around a man

cococandy:
She's just telling you that you have no place in your husband's business. As in she's the one who should controls what money comes in and goes out.

Better go ahead and be unsubmissive. Find that job or business or whatever of your own and earn your respect. P.S also start raising topic of your sister-in-law leaving your house.
Maybe from nysc she should move along and find her own niche.


There can't be two queens in one palace.

lol @ two queens. Let me quote my husband "she is my sister, i can't send her out because of you and I won't send you out because of her". I didn't even ask him to send her out.

EfemenaXY, let me start from the ownership of the biz. The biz soley belongs to my husband. He started the biz with settlement money from his master with little support from his late father which he paid back( father's own)-This is what I was told. During the fight, her two claims were that -(1)the shop belongs to her brother and that I'm only a wife (2) that she has been assisting him before now. It's either before her marriage or after marriage and before school, I'm not sure.
My priority now is getting a job. I have three kids, the eldest is 3+(I done shine my eyes, I no go allow them give me belle again, lol). No help in caring for the kids. I do it almost 100%.
No start-up capital for biz hence my desire for a job. I think teaching is my best option for now cos of my kids.

Things are still the same. Ever since he asked that I join and I refused, he hasn't asked again. So I am just observing and haven't discussed with him yet. I am no longer interested in the shop. Each time I go there (to drop or pick my kids) there is this bitterness I feel that brings tears to my eyes, and I want it to stop.
As for toiletries,he sells all-soap, cream, pad, toothpaste etc so I don't buy them. Even some kitchen items. Thanks soo much. I will be back to answer other questions.

fem29:
First of all what is a drawal

Sorry I don't know the exact name to use.But for the sake of description-a table with many cabinet(right?) where we keep money from sales. So the person that sits on this exalted sit(lol) is in charge of every money that comes in and also gives balances to customers.
If you undertood, could you please give me the correct name? Thanks


I didn't read the comments above before typing this.

@mrsoj, I have already left her in the hands of carma. I don't have strength for another public show. The worst is that she already have some marital experience.
@ ursino, raumdeuter, presva.....you guys rock. Thanks

Thanks all. I think I Will get a job atleast to save my head and not fighting over what I don't know when it all began.

My dear baby pls forgive me for disobeying you but you failed me. You can't differentiate between wifey and sister. You really broke my heart. You placed your younger sister too high above me.
I have forgiven you already but I won't be taking that insult again.

God please I need a job.

austine4real:
Na here u kari our matter com abi, u enta house again?



This tin is simple as u'r helpin him be on d lookout 4job.


Try & overlook ur sil bhaviour

Thanks

Miami11:
Your husband knows you are jobless and does not live money for home supplies like food e.t.c, unless you borrow, which you don't even get?
End time husband indeed

Is your sister in law a partner to your husband in business, or just a helper.( arguing over seat) help me understand this.

You might need to join in the shop to earn some extra money until you raise income to start your own business or until you get a job.

Indeed my husband leaves no money at home. He sells most of the things we use at home. If I need to prepare soup/ stew, I had to write list of ingredients with their amount and give to him before money will be given to me.
As for the sister, she's only helping. Her reason is that it's her brother's shop and that I'm just a wife. She came around very early this year and has been waiting for nysc since then.
Joining him in the shop would have been a better option if I were getting anything to save- I just hate to remove money without his consent, it feels like stealing to me. Again joining him might not give me enough time to do other things-I make beaded jewelleries. nothing much is coming out of it yet cos I don't a place to display them but I give God all the glory.



Marriage is not a child's play sha

Thanks to you all for your contributions. Off course he won't be paying me, just a little to take care of personal needs. As at now I get nothing, completely nothing.I really really would like to get a job but since he has asked that I assist- i don't want to be seen as an unsupportive and unsubmissive wife. Yet this option would leave me penniless.
I've made this sacrifice for almost five years now coupled with child births and it has not done me any good.

For some of you discussing about Sabbath day. This is what I 've for you. According to the Catholic catechism, Sabbath was changed to Sunday because Christ aroused on the 3rd day being a Sunday. Cos without His resurrection, there wouldn't have been Christianity. This is what I was taught. I wasn't there. Thanks

Please my people I recently had a fight with my sister in-law on whom to sit at the drawal at the shop when the brother(my husband) is not around. She insisted that she must sit there that the shop belongs to her brother. I on the other hand tried to let her know that whatever belongs to my husband belongs to me also and that I am not supposed to drag it with her. After what seemed like an endless fight I picked my children and left the place and never went back except to drop my children anytime I'm going out.
Now one of my husband's apprentice just left and there's need for another hand. He asked me to come and assist and that I can sit anyway I like and i refused to go. (he has made this promise before, and when we had that fight, I neither saw nor heard him scold his sister).
Before now I begged him to be giving me some allowance no matter how little but he refused though he has never queried me anytime I take money. But I don't feel comfortable taking it without his knowing and this has always left my purse empty.
I've decided to go and assist. But I want to do that on one condition, which is- either he gives me a daily or weekly allowance or I look for job no matter how little.(I've B.Sc and a good handiwork).
So my people will it be out of place(too greedy) to ask for an allowance?Your comments urgently needed.

Meanwhile sister in-law is still around and waiting for nysc.

cc. EfemenaXY and others

enigmagu1:
Everything about sex is sinful as long as you are not doing it with your wife ....onan was doing it with his brothers wife which is already a sin .....some chu rches advocates withdrawal method e.g catholic church , they believe contraception is sin.

Pls this statement is very wrong, the Roman Catholic church forbids the withdrawal method and every other form of contraception including condom. please very sure next time.

beautiful designs. keep it up.

It's being sold at my backyard here at ishaga Lagos. its imported.

tellwisdom:
Wetin u take ur youthful age do??..Na that old man i pity

be careful about what you say to others. No one knows tomorrow. There are girls who had aborted yet had their children when they were ready. there are also those who got married as virgins yet can not conceive.
@op, I feel your pains. Remember that God's time is the best. At His own time, He will give you your own children, flesh and blood. God be with you.

I have worn all of them

God it's only by your grace. So help us

@nikky04, I'm soooo loving ur hair.

Pls send to chi_jewel2000@yahoo.com

Melahou:
Its obvious she has seen something damaging so defending yourself is out of it
cos its glaring...
she`s your wife for Christ sake...that you dont check her phone does not mean
she cant check yours especially when you have created room for suspicious...

ask for forgive and tell her you wont "misbehave again"

God bless you.

chi_jewel2000@yahoo.com
Thanks and be blessed.

Vibesking:
I wonder why you included that.
Buh I do appreciate your thoughts concerning the issue. Thanks

you referred to me as GUY or so I thought. that was why.

Vibesking:
ofcouse.. But I can't look at her tho..
Am so unrelaxed at home cus am worried I'll bump into bo*bs.
Not cool man.

The more u look at her shyly or look away wen she's around, will give her the confidence to do more cos she knows you wont be looking. Develop strong confidence around her.But always remember she's ur mum's sis.
btw, I'm female.

Vibesking:
I know my mom fully well..
If I tell her to talk to her sis about her uncladiness, she'll start thinking that am having lustful thoughts towards her sis.
They read meaning to every slightest thing.

Then look at her, look at her very well. Look at her like u are looking at a two year old toddler, or better still look at her in a disgusting way. But my guy, hold ur 'thing' tight sha oooo.

Guy speak out or die in silence. tell your mum to caution her sis. Tell ur mum exactly how u feel. Then if ur aunt does not stop, kindly give her a wrapper to cover up with the most beautiful smile you can afford. And tell her that u feel very disrespectful looking at her while she's half unclad.
How about ur dad?

Still available

Dear family, I have this for sell. It's a well designed glass Dinning table with a six sitters wooden chair designed with a fur-like material. Still in very very good condition.

Location: iju-ishaga, agege area, Lagos.
Price:#30,000
Reason for sale: Relocation(no enough space)
Contact: 08123167874
Thanks @ all

moderators please don't be offended.

I'm sooo happy for you onose. may the good Lord guide, guard, bless and protect him. Amen. Seriously waiting for birth story (e too dey sweet me), i.e if our oga @ the top approves @toynex.
afamgod

Hi Giffty, if this is ur hair at it's natural state, then I must confess. it's BEAUTIFUL. Weldon