₦airaland Forum

MightySparrow:
Agreed. In our society man marries down ( hypogamy) ; girl marries up( hypergamy). Any parents going against such philosophy is wasting the marriage of the daughters from under his roof.
A man can marry that doctor, lawyer, banker, engineer, pharmacist that lacks the training to manage her man.
She would be a Vashti in the palace while the other woman outside is the confidant, the 'real wife'. The delicately, sophisticated one is just a social status woma who would soon become a single mother, divorcee, separated and a career woman. Such woman is a ' strong woman' outwardly but crumbling inside.

Train the girl - child. Sex is no longer a thing to tie any man down. intimacy gadgets are now taking over.

In my entire life, and it has been a long one

I have never seen this happen ever.

That's like Mr Eazi saying he left Temi Otedola for a GTB marketer because she doesn't enter the kitchen, but GTB marketer made ogbono soup from scratch for him. In 5 years' time, he will be telling GTB marketer angrily "what do you bring to the table??" and NL boys will be supporting him.

Even in Nollywood, these stories are obsolete.

Gbloriousgbola is right: the men that marry downwards are looking for who to control and it ends badly. That's what half of UK and US marriages are: someone left the women who were his equals, went to his village to marry a 20 yr old "virgin", carried her abroad and saw signs and wonders.

In the 1950s, 1960s, 1970s your ancestors were married to dutiful not-so-educated women who cherished their small shops, farms and tended to their homes. Those same men screamed "we don't want HOUSEWIFE, we want GRADUATE!" and we're always running off with a Secretary back then to make that one a 2nd wife.

Now, they're screaming "We don't want GRADUATE, we want HOUSEWIFE!". And running away to village for "peace of mind"

May the spirit of confusion and discontentment depart from us all. Amen

iyarike:
yes.
She will spend 2 weeks with the mama and go home for 1 weekend and then stay for another 2 weeks.

N50-N60k should be fine. N50-N55k is reasonable.

People with kids can sometimes pay upto N70-80k and N80-N100k can be for special needs/very elderly (requires a lot of assistance including physical assistance). But these rates are for middle-class to high income earners.

Will your sister be staying over with the Mama and for how many days?

Helps can range from N50k-N100k/month.

sandra2025:
Nah! Those kids are just playing with your intelligence and patience.
You cannot compare Nigerian kids with kids from highly technological developed countries of the world. Those kids in developed countries already know the robotic parts to join together and they would really be obeying commands. That's why they're far way ahead of us.

Your kids never reach anywhere, nah Nigerian curriculum kids. Best bet, give them better woozing and take them back to format mode.

Some Nigerian teachers and STEM clubs are doing well, check my post on this page my son is doing that and there's a lady who teaches in Lagos, I posted her link. She's good and passionate and she'll use Nigerian ideas to teach international curriculum

GloriousGbola:
I am afraid to ask what Lego mindstorms costs today

When regular technic is over 60k

Anyone with Lego robotics, kidnap them for they're rich

there's a lady who shops for us as well as teaches, she teaches on the mainland and island and she has her sets.

https://www.instagram.com/nefescorner?igsh=MWxkYmw5eTQ3NmJqZg==

Quodseverismete:
This little Eagle 🦅 fell from high mask some weeks ago, I decided to nurture it, it's extremely stubborn and violent, it eat only raw fresh meat or freshly killed lizard.

This morning I decided to bath it , it was calm and feeling cold and after sunlight exposure, it's resume it violent behavior again.

What i do with it, should I release it or keep nurturing it, I heard it has some medicinal value, or what is the economic value of this little Eagle?.

please contact Green fingers wildlife on Instagram, he will tell you what to do, as he deals with wild life conservation

https://www.instagram.com/greenfingerswi?igsh=a2pueTAweTFsZnQ2

Mine is 9 and is already a mechanical engineer (a course I deeply hated in school! )

He builds and codes his robots.

They actually work sha, the only problem is he keeps coming to talk to me about all manner of weird stuff (ogbeni shift, I am daydreaming about the Marquis of Wu' an and Cha Eun Woo's abs) and I have to act like I'm paying attention so he won't one day drag me on X and call me a "narcissist" and all of you will encourage him to cut me off.

GloriousGbola:
Jay told us he had 99 problems but a b**** ain't one - meanwhile his wife's sister is slapping him.

Dr dre, snoop, Kurupt said b**** ain't s*** but they have all seen pepper at the hands of women

Unfortunately when you are young and dumb you will swallow entertainers kayfaybe. Knowing it is bs comes with age.

Nowadays, Peer Pressure is affecting people even in their 40s.

Social Media has really destroyed humanity. Any type of validation and bad advise you want to hear, it's online because someone you should never be exposed to suddenly has a platform.

AlabiKILLER2023:
You're sounding emotional


There's nothing called cheating
Just a white man's opinion

As a man I got to sample as many girls as I can

👍

AlabiKILLER2023:
Why are you crying

Because people like you believe this and it is so unnecessary. He has done a private gig for my extended family and my friend: this man has a wife.

Don't deceive people meanwhile you're not doing what you say.

So many people make bad choices because someone lied about something they do or something they don't do.

"I no dey beg my wife!!", kneels down in private but gullible people will believe the public lie and destroy their marriage or relationship.

I will forever marvel at how Nigerian celebrities give interviews and know what tidbits to drop so they can trend and stay relevant.

Those who are his neighbours and those who book him for their private gigs, know his wife. You can even find the information online if you check his father's burial pictures.

Same thing Tiwa Savage and Toke Makinwa do when they give interviews and say they are willing to marry any man that comes to them, meanwhile anybody wanting to wife them will be slapped because they're rich enough not to have to tolerate a man or his overbearing family.

Same thing Tuface used to do, "I don't belong to one woman". He can't do it anymore

They strategize with their managers to drop a soundbite that will trend.

The sad thing is the innocent ones who believe this.

dominique:
As long as they're going to release everything n their country, no wahala

It's coming to an African country near you, once it's perfectes abroad

Hungrychicken:
Why the super rich need those kind big fence ?? insecurity na your mate?😂😂😂😂

See, a real big man estate doesn't need high fence.

Everywhere could be burning down in Nigeria and they'll have elite military-trained private security guarding them. Ex-soldiers like those jobs.

And the saddest thing is that this is a luxury estate, compare it to South Africa or even Algeria's expensive estates 😭

Peace, Love, Respect, Wisdom, Shared Values and Stability.

A lot of men don't know what peace looks like so they think a woman who leaves them to do what they feel like is "peace".

A quiet house isn't always peace, sometimes it's "I've made myself a monster so now my wife and kids disappear once I show up and that silence is deafening".

Respect doesn't mean she never challenges you, she'll do so in love.

Wisdom: see, a man, no SEVERAL MEN, have told me that "the day I didn't listen to my wife, what happened na me suffer am". Biblically, your wife is meant to counsel you, good or bad.

Love: someone's marriage packed up and he began missing his kids but didn't want his wife back (he fought for custody). His kids always looked so happy with his wife in her videos she sent him and they seemed happy (in his eyes) when they visited. When he eventually got custody, he realized his wife was the reason they were happy. Even as he hurt his wife, her love surrounded him and the kids and once she was gone, it was gone. Now he's trying to undo what he did.

Stability: knowing your woman can handle things on her own is vital. Knowing there's someone backing you is vital

Amotolongbo:
Only in underdeveloped countries you see comments like this

As someone who lived in a developed country, took a newborn baby (under 2 months old) to the ER and was made to wait 6 hours before being attended to...

The person QuinQ, you were replying to was correct.

No decent hospital has unqualified Doctors manning the place on a Sunday. The specialists won't be around, but there will be Doctors and if they need a specialist, the specialist will be called in. If the hospital his dad was taken to had no Doctors, then he needs to name them and report them to NMC.

That's how it's done in the US and UK.

I know how many Christmas Days and NYE my Dr siblings have missed and now they're all consultants and don't miss them (because they're specialists so unless your case needs one, they're not at the hospital).

All the qualified Doctors and Dentists are leaving Nigeria because even sufferhead hospital in backwater Virginia, USA pays more than private hospital in VI, Nigeria. And we all need to fight govt to make sure they get paid as well as LG Chairman or House Of Reps politicians or you will have no Drs left.

Gmekx:
Please prepare for a long read.

So, I decided to log back in after three years to respond to this because this is right up my alley. I’m a personal shopper for electronics and gadgets, and I’ve helped people source phones within different budgets.

First things first, your budget.

With the current state of the economy, 300k–400k is not the most comfortable budget if you are looking for a clean flagship phone. But can it still get you a very good phone with a good camera, good performance, and decent battery? Definitely yes. You just have to buy smart and avoid chasing only the name.

Now, about “flagship”.

There is always this constant debate about whether it is better to buy an old flagship or a newer budget/midrange phone, since they usually fall within the same price bracket. To be honest, it depends on the user.

Old flagships will usually give you better build quality, better display, better cameras, better video, and a more premium feel. But newer midrange or upper-midrange phones can give you better battery, newer software, less stress, and in some cases, better value for money.

Let me also add the Nigerian social context. We live in a society where people sometimes judge you based on packaging. Some people would rather hold an old iPhone or Samsung flagship because of the name, even when a less “loud” phone may actually serve them better. So if brand perception is very important to you, that may affect your choice. But if you are not daunted by that and you just want something that works well, then there are better value options.

My honest top pick for you would be a Poco F-series, or the Chinese variants like the Redmi K-series / Redmi Turbo series, if you can buy from a trusted seller.

I know some people may argue because Poco may not sound as “premium” as Samsung, iPhone, or Pixel, but based on your actual use case, heavy browsing, business social media content, pictures, videos, WhatsApp, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, editing, uploading, and general multitasking, Poco F-series or the Chinese Redmi K/Turbo variants make a lot of sense.

Why am I recommending them first?

They are fast and snappy. They do not do too much. You get very strong performance for the money, almost flagship-level speed depending on the model. Battery is usually okay to good, and they generally handle heavy use well.

I’ve personally been using my Poco F-series for over two years, so this is not just theory for me. I also just got a Redmi Turbo 4 16/512, which is basically the Chinese variant of the Poco X7 Pro, for my mum within your budget. For context, I bought a Poco X7 Pro 12/512 for almost 500k. So the Chinese variants can really give you better value if you buy well.

I’ve also attached some pictures taken with my Poco F6 so you can judge the camera output yourself. I’m not saying it will beat every Samsung, iPhone, or Pixel in camera consistency, but for the money, the camera is very usable, especially if you know how to work with lighting.

Another big advantage is maintenance. You mentioned kids and your fear about Samsung screen problems. That fear is valid. Samsung flagship screens can be very expensive to replace. iPhone parts are also not cheap. But with Poco/Redmi Chinese variants, parts are usually cheaper if you know how to source from China or you have someone who can help you source them. So if anything happens, the repair cost may not be as painful as a Samsung flagship screen replacement.

For your budget, you can check the Poco F-series, Redmi K-series, or Redmi Turbo series. Used or refurbished Chinese variants can sometimes give you better value than the global versions.

But please buy carefully. Make sure the network bands work well in Nigeria, Google services are working, the ROM is properly set up, the phone has not been badly repaired, and the seller gives you some form of warranty.

Now, the other options.

Samsung S-series / FE series

Within your budget, you may be looking at Samsung S22, S22+, and maybe S23 FE if you get a good deal. Samsung is a very safe option if you want a more polished camera, better video consistency, better display, and a more premium Android experience. For social media content, Samsung will generally do better than many midrange phones.

But your fear about screen problems is not baseless. If kids are around the phone often, then Samsung flagship screens can become a serious cost issue. Once the screen develops green line, shadow, touch issues, or breaks, repair can be expensive. So if you go Samsung, buy a very clean unit, check the screen very well, and use a strong case and good screen protector immediately.

Samsung A-series

I also have to mention the Samsung A-series, because many people may advise you to just buy a Samsung A-series phone instead of buying a used flagship or a Chinese variant.

But with Samsung A-series, the number matters a lot.

The A0-series, like A05/A06 and similar models, should not really be in this conversation if your focus is strong performance, business content creation, heavy browsing, and long-term satisfaction. They are more basic entry-level phones.

The A1/A2/A3-series can be okay depending on the model, but again, they are not really what I would pick first for your use case.

If you are going Samsung A-series, then you should be looking more at the A5-series, like A54, A55, or newer equivalents. That is where Samsung starts giving you a better display, better camera experience, better build, better software support, and a generally more polished experience.

For your 300k–400k budget, the Samsung A55 would most likely be used, not brand new, unless you get a very good deal or stretch the budget. A clean used A55 can make sense if you want Samsung’s brand trust, good display, decent cameras, software support, and a more familiar Android experience.

But even there, you need to be careful. A used A55 can sometimes cost close to what would get you a stronger used flagship or a better-performing Poco/Redmi K/Turbo variant. So you have to ask yourself what exactly you are paying for.

The A5-series gives you peace of mind, Samsung brand trust, and easier local support. That is a real advantage. But in raw performance and value-for-money, Poco F-series, Redmi K-series, or Redmi Turbo variants can still give you more power for the same money.

Also, Samsung repairs can still be expensive, especially screen repairs. So if you are buying A-series because you want peace of mind, try to get one with warranty. But also remember that warranty can add to your total cost, so calculate everything together before deciding.

So my view on Samsung A-series is this:

If you want Samsung name, warranty/local support, good display, and peace of mind, consider a clean A54/A55, especially A55 if you find one within budget.

But if you want the most performance and value for your 300k–400k, I would still put Poco F-series / Redmi K-series / Redmi Turbo series ahead.

iPhone

For iPhone, your budget will likely get you iPhone 11, 11 Pro, 11 Pro Max, iPhone 12, and with some luck, maybe iPhone 12 Pro. iPhones are very good for social media content, especially videos. Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and other apps usually handle iPhone camera uploads better than many Android phones.

But with this budget, you have to be careful. Battery health matters. Storage matters. For content creation, I would not advise 64GB unless you are very disciplined with storage. Also check Face ID, True Tone, camera, speaker, charging port, and whether the phone has been opened or repaired before. A badly repaired iPhone can frustrate you.

So yes, iPhone is good, but getting a good iPhone with strong battery, enough storage, and clean condition within 300k–400k may be difficult.

Google Pixel

Google Pixel is really good, especially if you care about photos. Pixel cameras are very strong, and their image processing is one of the best. You can look at Pixel 6, Pixel 7a, Pixel 8a, or Pixel Pro variants if you find a clean one within your budget.

But Pixels are more for enthusiasts, in my opinion. Battery capacity is usually not the best unless you go for the bigger Pro/XL variants. Also, in Nigeria, accessories, repairs, and resale may not be as easy as Samsung or iPhone. Since you already said you have not seen many people using Pixel and you are not conversant with it, I would only advise Pixel if you are buying from someone who really understands the phone and can give proper after-sales support.

Redmi/Xiaomi/Poco

I want to say don’t just buy any Redmi, but I have to explain why. The regular Redmi Note series being pushed around these days are not really what they used to be. I’ve used Redmi since the Note 9 series, and in my opinion, they have fallen off low-key in terms of value and overall feel.

So if you are going Xiaomi, I would rather you avoid the regular Redmi Note series and look more toward Poco F-series, Redmi K-series, or Redmi Turbo series. I would also avoid the Poco M-series if performance is important to you. The X-series can be okay, but if you can stretch to the F-series or the Chinese K/Turbo variants, that is where the better value is.

So my personal ranking for your budget would be:

1. Poco F-series / Redmi K-series / Redmi Turbo series , best overall value, speed, battery, and cheaper maintenance

2. Samsung S22+ / S23 FE , better camera and premium Android experience, but screen repair can be expensive

3. Samsung A54 / A55 , good Samsung experience, better software support and peace of mind, but not the best raw value if performance is your priority

4. iPhone 12 / 12 Pro , very good for social media videos, but battery, storage, and condition must be checked carefully

5. Google Pixel 7 / 7a / 8a / Pixel Pro variants , excellent photos, but battery, repairs, accessories, and resale may be concerns

My final advice: if you want the most practical phone for your money, I would start with a clean Poco F-series, Redmi K-series, or Redmi Turbo series from a trusted seller.

If camera/video polish is more important than speed and repair cost, then look at Samsung S-series/FE or iPhone.

If you want Samsung name, warranty/local support, and peace of mind, then consider a clean Samsung A55, but preferably with warranty.

If photography is your main thing and you don’t mind the Pixel ecosystem, then Pixel is also a good option.

But for your budget and your concern about kids/screen damage, I would personally go Poco/Redmi K/Turbo first, then Samsung/iPhone after.

One last thing, please note that prices of devices fluctuate a lot for reasons best known to the people selling them, and maybe because of RAM/storage shortages too. So don’t just buy based on model name. Buy based on the exact unit, condition, storage, battery, screen, repair history, ROM, network bands, and warranty.

Thank you for this.

I'm also looking for a phone and this was helpful.

I've never heard of Poco brand before, will go and look it up if they're sold locally

GloriousGbola:
Google Cambodia cybercrime.

The AI summary will fill you in

I really want to defend Nigeria and I know we're not the only criminals, but it's hard to keep doing it.

It's not like we're the poorest country, we're just the greediest people ever. Making enough to be comfortable isn't good enough, we must blow money like we're in a Rap video and spend like Footballers.

Tjra:
Cambodia is one of the poorest countries in the world and not just Asia.

I honestly don't know what our people are looking for there.

Most likely a base for crime (either fraud, drugs or something else) and as a way to enter other Asian countries that have more scrutiny and stringent visa rules.

Caaz:
Can chronic PCOS be treated successfully?and how long does the treatment entails?

It can be managed very successfully, check my last reply the Reddit thread, those ones were posting their success stories with babies.

And I know that a lot of people are getting misdiagnosed with PCOS nowadays, because of social media. Consultants in Nigeria (unfortunately most are male) are always rolling their eyes inwardly when they are rold by patients "I have PCOS".

Privateworld:
We have don everything doable and she seem to be issue. She has pcos and its a chronic one according to the doctor

2 years and you saying that you've run a series of tests sounds like you've being putting that poor woman under pressure.

For anyone in this situation:

Stress also reduces fertility for both men and women

Read this
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos

Look up more on PCOS:
https://www.acog.org/womens-health/experts-and-stories/the-latest/getting-pregnant-despite-pcos

See success stories:
https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/1c9mhoz/any_success_stories_of_pregnancy_with_pcos/

Go to Health section and join the TTC thread (trying to conceive). Plenty Nigerian information there.

Cover your wife with prayers, na your prayer and hard work dey open womb.

This is the time for you to show you're the Head of the House, the Leader of your family, not the time to start running when the going gets tough.

I literally met a woman who married a widower, raised his 2 sons to adulthood and decided to try for a baby...at 50.

Her boy is 5 years old.

Nothing God no fit do, oya man up🙂. You got this 👊

Privateworld:
Don't get this wrong but this aint nollywood though. Lets drop emotions aside. How about we split and i find someone else, get married and have kids. While, she finds someone else get married again and have kids.

My brother, you don't know the value of marriage and are treating it like a transaction. So because you're not yet benefitting, you're ready to leave as quickly as possible.

One Doctor told you PCOS (which is very easily treatable but you didn't even wait one moment, you're looking to replace her.

You don't seem like you're capable of loving or putting anyone else above your wants. Which is unfortunately quite common and even celebrated in moral society nowadays.

If you have an accident and they tell your wifeyour recovery period will be over 1 year and she says she can't wait and dumps you and hopes you find another woman to care for you, you will be very angry and feel betrayed.

You won't be able to take what you dish out. Most people can't.

This isn't emotions talking, just cold ,calm facts.

Omo mehnnnn, no love left in the world

"Her womb isn't working, 2 years don knack oya make i return item back to the shop and get a refund".

Then God will hear her cries, bless her and your next wife will be perfectly fine but nothing will happen for 6 years

OP, you're quite emotionally sound. I really liked your reply

advanceDNA:
Will definitely grow…. But Nigerian soil content and the environment cannot guarantee that what will come out will look exactly like the picture or even taste like it
…. Have u tried planting apple in Nigeria?? The outcome is one of nature’s hilarious moves

I think apples grow up North o, because they have all types of berries and even Chinese vegetables (cold weather plants).

naniawini:
Update on the hospital. Yes it was confirmed that the evil man has been penetrating my girl but her hymen is intact... She also developed an infection from it which has been causing the discharge... She's been placed on medication. Tomorrow I'll going to ministry of women affairs with the doctor's report. I don't know if I should go to the police station first or the ministry.

I already sent a copy of the results to her dad and he's been pleading with me. Telling me he thought I was joking. I already told him I'll be following up the case and make show his in-law is arrested. I feel terrible that I'll allowed my baby to go there, making her pass through all these.

Please how do I handle the nightmares she's always having. It's always looking as if she's fighting with someone in her dreams and she'll wake up crying.

Thank you everyone for your contributions I really appreciate.

Please go back to the hospital and ask them to refer you to a Child Psychologist (someone in Paediatrics or Psychiatry dept will know one).

Go to the Ministry of Women Affairs first, try and get a lawyer and then go to the police.

Please don't contact the Grandmother or Sister or any relative from his family to fight with, conserve your energy to getting justice for your child and for society.

Please know that you did absolutely nothing wrong, you asked your child's father to take care of his blood and he decided to pass the responsibility to another person. That is NOT your fault, if you had kept the child from her father, the same people blaming you now will be abusing you and calling you every nasty name including "that gender". You even complained to the father when you found out he had dropped his child off with his sister and he refused to listen.

That man did not protect his child and selfishly put his comfort before his child's safety.

Hmmm

I saw this video that said "to forgive and faithfully cast into the sea".

She was quoting Micah 7: 18-19

I believe the hard thing about forgiveness is the forgetting, so the video was asking us to each time we remembered the offense, to faithfully cast it into the sea.

Aka "keep letting go of the pain everytime you think of what was done to you".

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DRhem5xgva0/?igsh=bXpqaXJ3cTVma2pi

Naniawini, if the hospital prove that indeed SA happened, you'll need that report and immediately look for a lawyer.

Not one that wants to chop your money, an actual lawyer who cares

The lawyer should escort you to Ministry of Women and Children's Affairs (google it on your state, if in Lagos, it is Mirabel Centre).

They should file a Police complaint and the lawyer needs to file for Temporary Custody of your child, on your behalf. So that you don't have to allow her father to keep her for overnight visits, all visits will be he coming to see her but not being able to take her anywhere. And during those visits, your Aunt or Mum should be present not you, so that fight doesn't break out.

Please know that what has happened is so shocking, his family will most likely defend their daughter and her husband. Don't be shocked, it's human nature. Pray and forgive them but take this to the police.

Pride.

A crazy amount of misplaced pride.

I understand the Asian method because Confucianism places Filial Duty above all things. So since their parents and ancestors are so honoured, it would be hard to apologize the Western way.

I don't understand African own.

We may have honoured our parents in the past but certainly not in the last generation, because now we worship money.

Spray:
I lost my child after a brief illness. Because of some negligence, I'm thinking of getting the nurse on duty arrested or writing to their bodies.

What's the process of achieving this?

I'm so sorry for your loss, your pain and that of your wife must be unbearable.

Please ask them for the child's medical record of treatment, take the body to LASUTH and ask if they can do an autopsy. But before you do that, have a Dr at LASUTH or General Hospital Lagos Island review the case files, so they can see what happened and if it is medical malpractice.

Please be honest in the information you give the Dr reviewing your case. Sometimes if you present a patient too late, there's nothing even a great team from Japan or USA would have been able to do

RollinTNDA:
China started coronavirus
And till this day. Chinese are allowed to travel around the world.

Ordinary ebola and they ban Africans from traveling the world.

Nobody respects a poor man

SpencerForbes:
​I know two guys whose father was a heavy smoker and an alcoholic. The man had money, worked for a good company, but he married two wives and still kept a side chick on top of it. By the doctor's logic, these boys should be moving mad in adulthood.
​But here is the twist: these guys stayed with me for some time, and they are the exact opposite. They completely detest cigarettes, they don't touch alcohol, and they are focused. One of them even told me he was the one always going to buy it for his father while he was growing up and his mom even thought he'll smoke like his father. It's like seeing their dad's lifestyle made them swear never to take that path.
​

My uncle was a womanizer, had side chics, broke marriages up even though his lasted, he has 4 sons who swore they would never be like their dad and went in the opposite direction so completely they didn't learn how to date or manage the opposite gender

Not one got married under age 40 (youngest age of marriage for one was 41). Financially doing well, everything physically okay, just a stunted relationship with women and romance because their dad had messed them up. And none of them have any sons.

This life is spiritual