₦airaland Forum

DeepSight:
Are you a lawyer practicing family law?

Let's just say, my calling is to hold people's hands during a tough period

truthhurts2:
Good day NL!

I'm not bouyant financially, how possible/easy for me getting a divorce?

I have had it to the brim, I have been holding it for long and now I'm losing it. It's getting to being violent.

I don't want to lose my freedom by committing any crime.

A child is involved and one is just starting a journey.

Please calm down, can I send you information via email?

And offer counseling

Let us step back from the cliff.

Because Divorce is wonderful for lawyers looking for rent money.

2 years mandatory separation, if you want to file before then it will cost more.

N1million-N6million to file (yes, I am not joking, especially if you're in Lagos or Abuja). You will pay for extra like printing and any other documents lawyer needs.

File in High Court, she will be served a month later, she has 30 days to respond and your first court date will be 4 to 6 months after, just for Mentioning.

After that, another month or 2 for Conference (you and your wife will go before the Judge, no lawyers allowed to speak and mediate).

Then another month or 2 after for your trial.

Courts are backed up, so unless she responds back Uncontested, expect to spend 3 years on this matter, some people that got caught during Covid spent 10 years.

Even with no kids, you fit spend 2 years if clerks go on strike and since na high court, I dunno how backed up it will be with election tribunals next year (Political Aspirants pay more so their cases will be heard faster than your inconsequential marital issues, sorry )

Are you fighting for custody? Add an additional year plus you'll pay extra for Child Welfare Officers for the mandatory house and school visit. You need to be financially buoyant because you have to pay Child Support or she can garnish your bank accounts

If you start dating, she can sue you for Adultery and sue your side chic for alienation. Upto N10million, another court case.

Court cases are open, so everyone in court that day (bloggers, other petitioners and anyone who just feels like attending) will be listening to you and her air your very dirty laundry in public. They can write about it too, mentioning your name. Not a crime.

Still interested? There's more o...


Oya please drink water, let's talk

Well over 50% of marriages are salvageable and in 5 years time you'll probably feel different.

But if we work on it now, and you give yourself to this process, in 5 years time, I pray I never see you again

Please, let's talk

GloriousGbola:
The guy is bringing in an invasive species and no one is stopping him.

As a naija matter drop something for the officers who could not care less.

This is crazy

zenburster:
I am in the process of kick-starting my Capybara farm.

These animals are indigenous to South America. And both belong to the same suborder: Hystricomorpha. The Capybara are the largest rodents on earth.

The largest weight up to 90kg while grass cutters weigh 10kg max.

May Olodumare bless my hustle.

Capybara ke??

Who eats that??

How did you get them into Nigeria? Are you allowed to bring in wild species and introduce them?

A lot of men with kids date like they're single men with no kids and believe they can "start afresh" with a new lady...

Give it 3 years and you'll understand why the Oyinbo people who propagated the gospel of Divorce and Remarriage have an entire industry of books, podcasts and seminars teaching people how to blend families and manage step-parents.

OP, sit the new lady down and tell her your plans for your child, stuff like "she will spend 3 months with us, what do you think about her schooling, she may have malaria and be admitted so you'll have to stay with her overnight on an uncomfortable hospital bed" etc.

That is what you should be looking out for in a 2nd Wife/Husband: someone who can act like an Aunt or Uncle to your child.

And it is rare.

I've seen man who asked me "how is your son?", for 2 years now. He has never bothered to ask me what the names of my other kids are. But if I'm a dunce, I'll go and catch feelings for him. The reality will be waiting down the road to knack my head with aluminum pot

Hugose:
thanks guys and sorry for the very late response I didn't know there were so many responses.

Okay let me give you the update. She and I are cool. Very cool at least for now. I found a better lady who wants to stay with me.

My ex doesn't know about her and will never know until all this is over cos like someone said, people are weird.

So far we talk like friends and she lets me see my daughter. She understands I am broke but I know thats not a good reason not to send monthly stipends of my daughter's upkeep.

The problem is, I have tried so many things to make good money so I can proudly say Daddy is doing well for his daughter but life has not been so pleasant.

So far she my ex get money pass me now and she is taking good care of our daughter better than I can right now. So I really dont see any sense in dragging my daughter from her as long as she lets me see her.

So now I got a lawyer who is running the matter but the hitch now is the marriage certificate which is with my ex and she is yet to bring it cos of her work and it is in another state.

So na so we dey push am for now.

Thanks guys.

Maintain that coolness, infact be extra nice to your ex.

She's the mother of your firstborn, don't ever let anyone talk about her anyhow.

I'm sad that you couldn't reconcile but God knows best.

Don't be in a rush to marry Sister Maria (aka the new lady). You may think you're ready but I promise you, you're not. You need to figure out all the problems you had in your previous marriage, acknowledge your faults and work on you. You'll still have baggage and Sister Maria will also have her own wahala. Love dey usually finish around Yr 3, so be prepared. I'd advise you to wait an additional year.

Also, does new lady know that she's going to be a Stepmother and may have to take care of your daughter at some point in the future? Because NL is full of men who are "suddenly shocked" that Wife No.2 doesn't want to be a Stepmom. Please make it very clear to her that she's gaining a daughter from the moment she says "I do" and that will be a problem, let her find another man.

Please take my last paragraph seriously. I'd rather date extensively and not remarry because kids are stressful and it's hard to love a child that isn't yours. And I'm saying that as someone who loves kids. Most people can only tolerate their biological ones.

I wish you could have reconciled but God will take care of it all

Nigeria has a big issue in that there are too many indigenous languages.

And if you decide to pick the big 3 (Yoruba,Igbo and Hausa) as the official languages, you are wiping out 247 other languages and cultures.

Some of those cultures are priceless to Archaeology, Art, Architecture (Benin, Tiv, Fulani) etc.

Austria, Switzerland have 3 languages (German, French and another).

China has the same issue, several languages and then the CCP adopted standard Mandarin as the govt language.

So English has to stay as Nigeria's lingua franca.

What we can do is each state govt should have a Ministry or NGO that supports the survival of smaller languages.

And have the Federal Ministry of Culture sponsor a week-long Cultural Celebration in Lagos and Abuja, where Arts from each language is celebrated and performed and even organize a competition. Imagine the financial boost it will give the creative sector (tailors, carpenters, textile designers, artists, painters, dancers, makeup and hair, artisans selling souvenirs), then add in Tourism (make the competition around December so the IJGB crew can snap several pix and videos and sell the country for free).

Just imagine a Choral Competition in every language, Dance Drama completion, winners get N5million each. 2 Senators can sponsor it with their allowances.

That's how you keep our languages alive

pocohantas:
That is nice. I haven't seen it at random hospitals, or maybe I wasn't paying attention. Na only family planning I dey see😂.

How much is it, please?

I heard from N150,000 upwards.

Even Lagos state govt has one facility, I walked past it on Broad street, Lagos Island.

This kid is amazing

pocohantas:
Infidelity didn't start today, so I am always surprised when people act like it is a modern problem. Married women are dating other men. Married men especially. Na Chike own cast, but it happening steady in this religious Nigeria. In the past there was no social media and widespread technology to establish evidence. Also it is an ego thing for men, many would take it to their grave than admit it openly.

Either way, paternity fraud is terrible.
Away from all the agenda and gender war, no woman should cheat and pass off a child to another man. It is unfair to the child and the man too. A very high level of betrayal that should be shunned. If everyone continues like this, the family unit would breakdown in a few years.

Almost every hospital in Lagos is now offering DNA test. I went to a Maternity section of a hospital last week and they were offering DNA testing. The thing is serious.

It's very hard to catch Paternitys fraud because African babies don't look like any relative until they grow up. It's not like Oyinbo babies where 2 black haired brown-eyed people can't have a blonde blue-eyed baby without some concern or even a baby with a cleft chin.

menaxe:
Something happened in my house this evening that’s been bothering me, and I’d like your honest advice.

My wife went out for a girls hangout. When she came back, she didn’t notice I was in the parking lot watching.

She called the gateman over, brought out her leg, and told him to remove her shoe. He took off the first canvas shoe, then the second. She didn’t notice I was there.

After he removed the shoes, she told him to take them to the cobbler for repair.

I just watched and didn’t say anything at the time. It looked to me like she was overusing the gateman, and it didn’t sit right with me.

Later, I called her aside and told her what she did was wrong but she said she didn’t know it was wrong and didn’t see the issue. I asked her what she meant by “it’s not wrong,” and she just repeated that she didn’t know.

Now I’m confused. I don’t know if I’m overreacting, overstepping, or making too much of it.

Nairalanders, please tell me honestly — is this wrong, or am I out of line here?

Thank you.

She's a little power drunk.

Sometimes, when you don't have any power growing up and you suddenly come into power, it goes to your head a bit.

Wealthy people from nice backgrounds are actually nice to their staff. In Festac, they say "people wey sleep for night bus wake up in Lagos, na dem dey misbehave".

Treating your staff with decency is a must. You don't have to like them, but treat them with decency.

Nobody should be taking her shoes off when she's not King Charles of England or a Korean Chaebol from a Kdrama.

kaywhy09:
Who gave them the sample?

The company.

What they should have tested was the Complainant's product.

Because seriously, bread lasting for 2 months without being in a freezer, is crazy in any country.

Grandparents can be very annoying when it comes to their grandkids. But it's usually fromna place of love.

Yes it will annoy you and you're going to clash, but please be patient and repeat to yourself "she loves this baby as much as I do".

I'm even surprised your MiL is so deeply in love with your son (most of them usually only have eyes for their "baby" aka your husband 😑).

nairalanda1:
lol

People routinely disobey child custodial agreements the world over, not just in Nigeria, the world over

Even that UK you are admiring, if you see the number of issues with child custody arrangements in that country, you go fear. In many saner climes countries there are people that have not seen their children for years because their ex spouse is refusing to let go. (One chap, who was a deputy mayor...a man with political power, had difficulty seeing his own children with his exwife. Because...legal issues0>

Even cases that cross borders. You go see parent struggling to see his or her child that is in the country of the other parent, and finding it difficult. Even resorting to attempted kidnapping self.

One case in America, one man fought with his ex brazillian wife for over 9 years for custody of their child.The woman went back to Brazil, married a new husband, and refused to let the man's son see the man. During that time, the woman died, and the woman's family in Brazil refused to hand over the boy. IN the end the man had to go nuclear...he went to his Senator, and his senator raised hell...and the child was returned. Did I tell you that the brazillian courts ruled consistently in favour of the man, yet the brazillian inlaws refused to hand over the child...until the man's senator threatened to shut down a vital trade agreement between the US and Brazil that needed US congressional approval before it could be signed off by the then US president (At the time, Obama).

And that American man was lucky. There are many other Americans who are not so lucky.

This your story, another American man is going through the same thing with his Korean ex-wife. She took his son back to South Korea. She has refused all judgements on the matter from the USA and Korean courts tend to side with the citizens, so they're dragging their feet. He has approached his Senator but unfortunately still no headway.

It's so sad

This case is quite sad. If the child has bonded with the friend, it may be hurtful for the little girl to be torn apart from the only mother figure she has known and handed over to strangers (her actual adoptive parents).

But at the same time, the woman shouldn't have tried to take the child away in this manner.

You can't just tell the parents "oya go and adopt another baby nau".

And this is why private universities are doing their own entrance exams.

Even for Common Entrance, private schools don't bother with it.

Privatisation of Education is a slippery downward slope but why are we implementing our own version of "No Child Left Behind"?

If it didn't work in USA, why would it work here when we have worse metrics?

Push for higher standards not settle for lower ones.

Ugochukwu was not hale and hearty

I'm sorry for your loss, but a lot of people are walking around really sick and not knowing.

Nigeria has very, very poor diagnostic medicine services, which is why everything is "malaria and typhoid".

BP 212/120
SPO² levels 89
A heart murmur
DVT
Fatty blood clot moving from your leg to your heart
A heart attack (even kids can have one)

Most of these things will give you little to no warning and the warning will come less than 24 hours after death.

By the time you're rushed to the hospital, there's nothing anyone can do.

It's not your village people, it's not because anyone is out to get you (be for real, why would I go to a babalawo, sacrifice my soul just to spoil your life instead of bettering my own life? How important are we in the general scheme of things sef?) it's just Life punching your checkout card and poor medical services.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss

DeepSight:
But my bigger point is that if you heard this story from Africa, you would laugh and toss it into the bin.

No, I wouldn't.

Because I know Ethiopians were amongst the first Christians ever and their Church is the oldest church.

I also know that Ifa divination boards are very mathematical and rooted in the type of math we would see at Senior Secondary Further Math or uni math. And they somehow developed it way before a white man set foot on the continent. And the Yoruba aren't the only culture who based their divination/reading of the stars etc on Mathematics. So you gotta wonder how all these cultures separated by great distances isolated from each other,all came to the same conclusions.

This world is spiritual.

(I told you, I like African cultures. I'm not even Yoruba).

DeepSight:
My issue is why we are quick to highlight barbarisms in our traditions but ignore all the barbarous atrocities and prescriptions of Yahweh especially in the Old Testament.

Furthermore if the central Christian doctrine that God became a man to be killed to save you from sin originated in any African tradition, you yourself would see it for what it is - ritual human sacrifice.

Well, you'll need to point out all the other people who got killed to save you from sin. Like, they got killed, not that they were tied up and then a sheep showed up to save them at the last minute 😃

The word "ritual" means "it happens frequently", so whom else died for your and my sins?

The Mayans and Aztecs did ritual human sacrifice, we Africans probably did it, so it happened more than once.

How many people in the Bible died for my sins, please?

Shall I send you on a quest, please?

Do you know what a lamb is? It's a ram, the one they kill for Sallah.

Please help me find and buy a perfectly unblemished one, as in no spots, no sickness, so nicks or ticks on the skin, beautiful and white. Sallah is coming up so it should be easy.

When you find one, please let me know

DeepSight:
Sounds like you have some sort of inferiority complex as against other cultures.
What makes you think Yahweh is not simply the traditional pagan mountain deity of the Jews?

I lived abroad for years and relocated voluntarily back to Nigeria to start a business, a family and raise my kids. So I'm more fiercely Nigerian than you probably are.

I'm still not sure what part of our cultures is worth saving because I haven't seen the benefits of it. And I love African culture.

But what are we really doing with it? You can't say it made us better collectively because take a look at your country: it's so "amazing", everyone is hustling to leave it to places where nobody likes them.

I don't believe the pagan deity of the Jews somehow managed to become the biggest religion of the world, because if that were true, Confucius and Buddha should have spread even more (they were bigger than Christianity at the time the Church started).
Plus Judaism is different from Christianity.

Christianity is the only religion built on Love. Love God, love others more than you love yourself.

It's crazy and against our natural will to do so. Why follow a religion that tells a woman to raise the proof of her husband's infidelity as her own, which is what Christy Bature did?

She said that doing so shaped her ministry and I believe some of it.

Marriage is meant to shape you, not that you find the "right, perfect" person and marry. You're supposed to be made into a better version of yourself and that requires sacrificing and loving someone more than you love yourself. Ephesians 5: 21-33

Now, I don't agree with all Christy Bature says but I do agree when she tells women: "don't carry marriage on your head". You're not dieing, going to Heaven and joining the family group "Deepsight, son of Papa Deepsight, Husband to Mrs Deepsight". So don't stay in a marriage because you really want to be Mrs somebody, stay there because you signed a covenant in front to God to that person. And a covenant isn't a one-sided contract, it takes 2 parties and a Judge.

Or go and worship your traditional gods, marry millions of women and sort yourself out, worked out great for King Solomon. Best of luck to y'all.

otipoju:
Even the fathers of faith in the bible from Abraham to Jacob to David and so on had more than one woman as their power reach.

Our problem started when we invented the word " cheating " in our culture. Our ancestors did not cheat by having other women. Na we dey stress ourselves and have lost our way in the process.

Facts:
A 40 or 50 year old woman or any woman with 3 to 4 kids no longer has the private goods to satisfy most men.

Secondly, their fluctuating emotional states make them deny their husband of sex for extended periods.

That is the harsh reality of life. What is the man to do? Suffer in silence and become a shadow of himself or look for someone to take care of his very important sexual needs and have the energy and inspiration to continue to provide for his dependents ?

Once again, any man should strive very hard to be financially buoyant in his old age so he can have a younger woman to take care of his needs even if na contract basis.

I stand on my submission gidigba. The adult children will leave , the woman will follow them to take care of their various children and they will leave you to yourself...because they no longer need you for provision.

Truly, I don't understand African men.

Maybe that's why our continent is like this, because I think Oyinbo and Asian men sorta learn from the past, but my people don't.

Whose image are you made in, God or traditional gods? Because if you're made in Our Lord's image, why are you so determined to follow the worst examples that are against His explicit words??

Even worse, you look at all the examples in the Good Book on Polygamy, see that NOT ONE of them ended well in their lifetime but you tell yourselves "I cannot wait to commit that same sin!".

Like, what do you think will happen, your case will be different?

Okay, let's ignore the Bible, have you asked older men who married a younger woman to take care of him in his old age, if it worked out for them.

Because I can give you my Aunt's number so you can ask her why she's in Asaba ignoring the old man who married her as a teen, to take care of him in his old age. He's in the village cared for of by his 1st wife's eldest daughter. Or we should ask my BiL, whose stepmum carried her kids (along with some land documents) and left the old man who trained her, so that his mum (the 1st wife) had to go back to care for him in his old age.

Chief Iwuanyanwu that stipulated in his will his younger 2nd wife cannot carry any property of his away if she remarries, why do you think he did so? Imagine the tight leash he had on her, for him to say that after his death.

Nigerian men always say once the woman can stand on her own 2 feet she leaves the man. But somehow believes this applies only to the 1st wife (who still has nostalgia and love) versus the 2nd wife (who enteres that marriage with her eyes VERY CLEAR about her goals).

Just like the Bible said "love the wife of your youth" (Proverbs 5:18). Even Malachi 2 tells you not to send away or divorce the wife of your youth.

Like, why does sexx dominate the Black man's mind? Asians and White people can somehow abstain and achieve great things, us, mbaa. One racist in the early 1990s wrote this about Nigerian during colonial times, that we were ruled by sexx. How sad that it is still true a century later.

(I write this for the impressionable men, in the hopes that they won't repeat the mistakes of others).

Ikeno,

Please tell her to meet you at Mecure, Lagos state DNA testing facility (Marina, Lagos Island)or Clina-labs with the child to do a DNA test.

I hate to agree with a previous poster (because he called her a vulgar disgusting word with no proof) but she cohabited with someone and had 3 kids and somewhere along the line, was still having time for you.

That's not great judgement being shown by either her or you.

She may be looking for financial ease and decided to do this.

Be firm, ask for DNA test and don't let her move in with you.

If the DNA test comes back as your child, decide what to do. You can offer to take that child (are you married, are you ready to be a single dad, don't start looking for girlfriend to help you, most won't want to play stepmum). Or you can give her money for upkeep monthly (I'm more concerned about this route, as neither of you have shown good character judgement).

You can't force her to give up custody because legally under Nigerian law, that's her child and not yours (unless you marry her and then all the kids belong to you).

You should get your parents involved so that if she is your kid, they can convince this woman to release that child into your care and their care, as it may be better for her future to have stability.

This thread is the reason why a lot of men destroy their marriages and any potential for reconciliation.

So much bad advice.

I'll say this: speak to any man above 60 or a lawyer who works in Family Law. They will tell you who uses the children to fight.

Here's a hint: most times, it's the men.

I've seen men shed piteous tears, swearing their kids are being poisoned against them. Reality is usually different.

See, children romanticize the absent parent so any woman poisoning her children's minds against their dad is just making it easier for them to leave her in her old age.

Women has gotten wise to that fact.

Why are you telling your kids all this, what happened to "Your mum and I love you and we are so sorry things didn't work out. We will work together for your good"?

Men keep repeating this thing to themselves and when you're in the middle of separation and divorce, your emotions are a mess. You're going to make horrible decisions that you will regret. Your wife is not evil, she's in just as much pain as you are.

Stop attacking her or assuming she's planning to attack you and drawing battle lines to fight imaginary wars, only to find out you used your hand to destroy everything because of that imaginary war.

It's so painful to see, especially when you know the man.

During Separation, best thing you can do is to get a Marriage Counsellor or Elderly parent and listen to them vigorously. Kill your emotions, when you are triggered into doing something, shout and scream in your bathroom, then pour cold water on your head and be logical.

Because a lot of times when men let their emotions drive them, it's just regrets that you can never admit to.

folake4u:
@ the bolded. Yoooooooooo! SpeedAF is the most useless logistics company I've dealt with. My package was pending for 2weeks and no response from them or their social media pages.

I marched to their physical office one day to file a physical complaint and also inquire about my package, they were eating eba and okro soup in the office and even offered me their food so I can calm down.

It was a really terrible experience.

😂 Sorry for laughing but at least they gave you some Customer Service by offering eba and okra soup, to calm your nerves.

Was it delicious 😏

Please parents and people with loved ones that have asthma, this is very important:

Find a close by hospital to your home that has 24/7 Oxygen tanks on standby.

Have a Nebulizer machine with Nebules and Saline solution (get from Lagos Island or a Pharmacy).

Have a Pulse Oximeter (get it from a pharmacy or Lagos Island or Jumia).

Your asthma attack can be so strong, that your inhaler won't be effective, your Oxygen saturation levels can drop dangerously low and you'll need supplementary oxygen as an Emergency.

If someone in your family had asthma as a child, there's a chance you can develop it because it is hereditary.

Know your triggers: it could be dust, it could be dry air from a fan directly on you, it could be flowers etc. Please avoid them.

Please stay safe

Actually I think if I had picked from my brother's friends I'd have been happier.

If you're a decent fellow and my brother trusts you to bring home, you're good. At least he knows his friends' family and maybe that will cool their head small when their son starts misbehaving.

All these random strangers we meet and then wahala starts and you realize you don enter one-chance..

I used to be awkward about my friend and my brother liking each other because I felt I'd lose their mutual affections for me (selfish I know but I was young).

Honestly Arrangee Marriage dey make sense: much better vetting happens.

Please take this people seriously when they speak

They are quietly implementing change without informing Nigerians. We only see the end results.

You need a lawyer, don't make a fuss but if they're refusing to listen, quietly hire one. The lawyer doesn't need to interact with them for now, but needs to advise you.

Your employment process wasn't straightforward and you have to be able to prove that store room keys weren't in your possession and previous stocktaking didn't include you.

It kinda looks like you've been set up to take the fall for another person's theft. I don't want to jump to conclusions but my instincts say so

Bandirao:
So this is me, a 21 year old, I am 185cm (6.1feets) and very slim. I have this kind of build that can be considered ectormorphic putting on weight is very hard for me. I only weight around 66 to 68 kg. I am just simply a twink.

People always call me dogo (tall in hausa) even though I am not very tall, I hate it when people call me skinny. I started going to the gym to help matters but I can't continue the diet. I have low appetite with high metabolism.

My life is just sad.
I am introverted and I don't want to go out I just wish I am short and muscular or even fat, some people are just aggressive towards me for no reason at all and always want to make small thing big and want to engage in a fist fight with me especially shorter guys.

In short my life is just sad. I have no girl friend because I think probably no girl will love me. I always live alone and I cope with just being a nerdy and terminally online, but anyway I think probably there are people like me with the same experience with me and I just waft them to share their experiences and give me advice so I can feel related.

Google Image

Have you cpnsidered Modelling?

I see Nigerian male models getting flown put to countries like France and Japan. You could go on IG and look for legit modelling agencies (Few Models, Beth) and try your luck.

Thank God for listening to instincts!

Pootle:
put the money in trust fund in the children names

Nna2025

I will second this.

Go to a trusted Financial House (Vetiva comes to mind) and ask for advice to set up a Trust fund for the kids (you'll need their Mother to be involved for legal ID purposes). So quietly do your findings and see if she will demand the money instead.

Secondly, ask a Lawyer if they can help draft a document that shows the proceeds of the sale to directly benefit the kids and then head to the investment section of a bank like Stanbic IBTC and ask them to set up a MMF account for the kids. Then contact the Mother (because they need legal ID documents from her, like passport photo and Nigerian passport plus her signature if the kids are minors). But let the lawyer be involved.

Finally if the mother is acting up, tell her it was your friend's verbal wish for the money to be set up like that but since verbal agreements don't stand up in court, you'll locate his family and give them the money and she can go and collect it from them

(That final piece should make her rethink any bad decisions). Hopefully the mother of his kids has sense.

Don't give his family and expect them to do the right thing: I don't know why men keep believing this, do you know how many families screw their nephews and nieces over once money is involved?? Na because nobody wan file go court fight their Uncle and air their dirty laundry.

Even my own, for my Will I picked the richest family members I have (because I no get shishi and they are wealthier than me, infact I beg them for money while I'm alive 😭) so I know they will look at the N60k I'm leaving my 3 kids, sigh 😮‍💨, add more to it and give them as allowance 😁