₦airaland Forum

onumadu:
I want to share another real life story (anecdote) about this issue.
But I would only share the story if I get at least THREE (3) LIKES for this comment.
If I get three LIKES I would share it.
If not I would not share it because I don't want to upset people's sensitivities.
I'm out for now...

Now that this comment has gotten 3 Likes, I would share the next REAL LIFE instance of this issue.
Next ...

I hate to use this analogy but ...
There are many dog breeds in the world. If you want to buy a dog, you should buy the breed that fits into your family needs.
If you buy a guard dog breed instead of a pet dog breed, there is a chance that a family member can be bitten one day.
You can’t change a guard dog into a pet dog completely.
I know about five instances where a supposed “tamed” pit-bull dog killed people. I’m not saying that a human being is a dog, but a human being is still an animal. The inability to accept that fact is why we have different types/degrees of conflicts in the world, from individual levels to countries going to war threatening entire human race with annihilation.
We humans are hypocrites and pretend to be disciplined and “civilized” or spiritual etc.
But then the world continues to be the same conflict zone from ancient times - year after year, decade after decade, millennia after millennia.

There is no evidence anywhere that ALL humans are polygamous. There are however plenty of evidence that SOME people (men and women) are naturally polygamous.
I just cited an example about a married woman who was been fought over by two married men, while the woman’s husband went about his normal business undisturbed.
Those two men are polygamous (though they would deny it if you confront them), and the woman is also polygamous (she would deny it if she faces societal censure).
The woman’s husband is monogamous (believe it or not) because he only has his one wife and happy with her even if she is sleeping with other men.
One of the men involved is even a “leader” in a church. Just saying…
I really don’t want to bring religion into this -though religious settings provide even more evidence of this- I don’t want to derail this thread.

HYPOCRISY is the cloak under which these things happen.

This topic is not about "justifying infidelity" and other judgmental opinions. It is about acknowledging what exists, and avoiding them if one doesn't want it, or not killing other men over it.

I think that the best way to address Stone03, eazzzy1 and LordYon08 posts above is to recap the OP.

Quick recap:

Core Point: The topic argues that some women are not created to be with one man

Aim of OP : To warn men planning to get married that such women exist so they can avoid them, and not get into trouble later. “Trouble” includes having to share the wife with other men against their wish. Or trying to kill other men because of it.

Observed reality: Some men are perfectly comfortable marrying such women. Others are not.
The “others” are the ones this post is trying to save from future troubles.
Those “others” must control their greed and vanity in order to be able to accurately detect, hence avoid, such women. Prevention, in this instance, is better than cure.

WARNING: This topic is NOT about religion or morality. It is about NATURE – the way things are, not what we want them to be.

eazzzy1:
Nobody was made for one person. Chatting is a two way street. For a man to chat with a woman, she must be chatting back. Men are not looking for women no other man want, we are looking for women who don’t want other men.

A woman not created for one man is the woke way to call a cheat. No woman was created for one man, being with one man is totally by one’s effort. The willingness to put in the effort is shaped by circumstances like upbringing, values, religion and repercussions etc.

Thanks for your own insight too.
I will return later to respond well to it.

Stone03:
All these long text is to justify infidelity. Mr or Mrs, there's nothing, and I mean nothing in this life that can't be controlled, no matter the hyper-natural it is.

God is not wicked to warn us against adultery and fornication, yet give us libido that is beyond our control.

I am a man, I belong to the side of hyper sexuality. I can have sex more 7 times in a week and still feel strong. At a point I began to ask myself if this is a divine gift or what?

At the early stage of my marriage, it was difficult to flow with only my wife, but because I know the consequences of infidelity, especially loosing the presence of God in my life, I had to begin to work on my mind, even to the point of avoiding masturbation. It is in the mind

I know a married lady that also told me her story, how she most times desire sleeping with her ex. She had the same problem of desiring to try out different dicks, until I sat her down and took her through the psychology and the mystery of sex. Till today she is still living in appreciation of the counsel I gave to her.

People are naturally hyper-sexual and it's not a biological defect, but sometimes as a result of the easy activation of hormones like testosterone. But can be deprived by engaging your mind on something serious.

I'll be back to give a befitting response to your comment, -point-by-point.
Thanks and please return later to read my comment.

If you find 100 enforcers of sit at home in Anambra state, 75 are from Ebonyi
Just saying...
I would believe it when such data changes.
Umahi should know that nobody cares,

Looking like a CLOWN as always.

Zxcvbnmghtr:
It doesn't with respect to your assertion about women who wear Burqa as being the easiest target for sex.

The point you are trying to make is that some women exude sexual energy which attracts multitude of men against these women's own want of which a man who chooses to marry them should be ready to bear with this kind of situation. Your point is not about how these kind of women are sexually promiscuous.

I agree very well with you that their are women as such. What I don't agree with you is how women in Burqa are the easiest to have sex with.

@First bolded: Per your comment of "which attracts multitude of men against these women's own want", the women are not particularly complaining - they're naturally able to thrive on such attractions.
The adjective "promiscuous" is an intrinsically embedded attribute of this issue. I mean how else could one explain a woman who has a husband, but also have two other married men fighting to death over her? You cannot separate the two.

@Second bolded: Sorry for the mix-up. What I really meant is that Burqas cannot stop such women, and in certain instances Burqas may even be enablers, helping them to evade detection.

Thanks for finally saying more about what you really meant. I was starting to think that you were trolling.
I'm now ready for your other questions/counter-arguments/challenges.
That is what intellectual discourse is all about.

Zxcvbnmghtr:
I'm perplexed by how you quickly switched your story line by your sight of a Burqa, to

Apparently you either have comprehension issues or simply trolling now.
The two posts corroborate each other.
But I think you are really trying to troll/derail the thread. Nothing else...
You can believe whatever you want.

Zxcvbnmghtr:
One which makes men run after them?!

So, how else do you come about situation whereby a woman dressed like that was fked by the street corner?
She didn't even have the dignity to insist on it happening indoors.
Methinks that some of such women even use Burqa to confuse people like you who would judge them harshly if they dress otherwise. lol
See how you are perplexed that someone in Burqa can do such things?
I rest my case.

Zxcvbnmghtr:
Your story is not about a promiscuous woman but a woman who by default commands Men's attention against her want due to the attributes you highlighted. You ended up with a story about how women in Burqa are the easiest to have sex with. The question is how? Where is the attraction?

If you ACTUALLY read the OP you would have noticed that I said "Their physical, psychological, emotional, and even spiritual architecture/composition"
In fact the physical attribute even becomes the minority attribute if you add others like psychological, emotional, spiritual".
Physical is only 25% of the attribute, the rest is 75%.
You have to actually OBSERVE the woman's natural actions in totality to be able to avoid such women if that is not what you want.
Like I said, some men are perfectly comfortable marrying such women and live happily with them
This is not about judging women. It is about warning men to become realistic and stop killing themselves over natural occurrences.
Some women in Burqa still exudes raw sexual energy through their other actions.

I want to share another real life story (anecdote) about this issue.
But I would only share the story if I get at least THREE (3) LIKES for this comment.
If I get three LIKES I would share it.
If not I would not share it because I don't want to upset people's sensitivities.
I'm out for now...

Zxcvbnmghtr:
I struck a chord. I really did. Lol 😂. See as your story change SHARPLY.

But my story didn't change. You only corroborated my points.
What has dressing to do with natural tendencies as I described in the OP?
Thanks for providing supporting evidence.

DarkCaesar:
lots of little ‘boys’ won’t be able to comprehend the OP but it’s normal, it’s just how nature made those women…….some might not even be drop dead gorgeous but would have this wild sexual looks that would make lot of men to imagine hitting her coochie even if it’s just once.

You hit the nail on the head about how "little boys" won't be able to comprehend this issue. lol
Nothing more to add there!

As for the "not even drop dead gorgeous" women you refer above, you are also spot on!
That is why it can be very difficult to see the danger signs before marrying some of them.
Some of such women may look crude, yet seriously attractive, and somewhat approachable/accessible even though they are just being natural.

In "action" proper, they also over-deliver, which is why some men wanted to kill each other over such woman.
They "ate her food" and got hooked, and was ready to die over her.

But if a man is attentive, he should still be able to see the warning signs early enough.
All he needs is observe how men look at her, and follow her . Simple.
That's enough warning signs.
Just observe and see her for what she is, rather than what you think you can turn her into in the future.
Natural tendencies are extremely difficult to control.

Stone03:
Whether it's men or women, it's a product of untamed mind. Nobody gets bored of his husband's prick or his wife's vagina if she or he disciplines the mind to focus on the she or he got.

Tell yourself that all toto na toto, all prick na prick. Once you ejaculate nothing more.

Oga (abi na madam you be sef), this your view is naive, to put it mildly.
When it comes to matters of sex, with time people tend to revert to their natural selves, regardless of amount of effort to "tame" their minds.
The good news has been that most people actually marry those who match them in these things.
That is why overwhelming majority of marriages work without too much scandals.
But yet, there are still these non-majority instances where these things happen ( I would share another real life example next) .
They are never diagnosed and dealt with because most people like you think this has everything to do with mind control and discipline.
It is not really true.
In some cases where women of this nature are resolutely suppressed (or "disciplined" as you put it) they simply take their sexual frustration out on innocent people (house helps etc for example).
A lot of wickedness you find in our society today stem from efforts to suppress these natural instincts.
That is also why we have soooooooooooooooooooooooo many sexual scandals involving even religious people of all shades.

To conclude with your last line above: "all toto no be toto o".
No say I no warn you.

Zxcvbnmghtr:
So?

This your post had me cracking up so much.
But I know from information available online that such women can be the easiest to sleep with.
I know I've once seen a video of a woman dressed like that been fked from behind by the street side in one of these Muslim countries.
All she needed to do was raise everything up, and bend forward, the rest happened naturally.
Let me tell you, women who would do such things can NEVER be stopped.
A woman who is not created like that would NEVER do so even if she walked around half naked.
Just saying...

SenecaTheYonger:
You're using two shameless men to judge the entire race of men. Yeah, the world doesn't work like that.

I never generalized. You are the one generalizing by ascribing the anomaly to "entire race of men".
I only cited an example (admittedly extreme and discomforting) of such things. But it still illustrates the problem.
SOME men fall into it, NOT ALL men.
There are derivatives (others like it) well hidden under typical Nigerian societal secrecy and hypocrisy.
Only God knows how many men have died from such things.

BEFORE you marry that girl, have you done an honest assessment of her, to see what she REALLY is, and not what YOU want to see?
And if you marry her anyway and later find out that she is not meant for one man, are you willing to either divorce her or live with it (i.e accept responsibility for the situation) without killing other men who sleep with her?
Those are the questions.

My mission here really is to help men accept nature the way it is, rather than trying to kill one another over it.

Caramia2020:
It's better to avoid such women because how can a wife become a community tool, it kills in so many culture.

You seem grasp some of the point of this post.
Others are busy accusing me of insecurity and some even alluded to me being afraid to admit that some women may be polygamous. lol
What is the essence of my post then if I nurse such biases?
I'm perfectly comfortable with a woman being like I described in the OP. She did not create herself!
I may not marry her, but some other men would happily do so.
My only thing is that some men rush to POSSESS them, only to wake up later in the marriage to find out this issue.
In my book, such women should either be left alone, or be married to men who understand them and are willing to live with them.
There are MANY such women in the world who are happily married.

Biglittlelois:
Op is scared to say women are also polygamous in nature......

Eyah

You are making a logic error (inductive reasoning) here.
Example, some women are polygamous, therefore ALL women (as you allude to above) are polygamous.
That is NOT true.
Some (in fact a significant if not majority) of women are perfectly monogamous.
That is why I chose my words carefully in the original post.

bizbro:
Some men are not meant for one woman e.g. Davido.

Exactly!

Proserpina:
You project your insecurity as defect in others. This is new

Man will still talk to your worwor woman, deal with your insecurity

Oga are you discussing this topic at all, or even following the narrative here?
Na so mental illness dey start o..

This REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE happened in Anambra state ( I won't mention the town for privacy reasons)...

Two married men were "fighting" (one was even making serious moves to kill the other) over a certain MARRIED woman.
The woman in question is of the type I described above in the OP (deadly attractive and so forth).

The woman's husband was/still is very comfortable with the nature of his wife ,and going about his normal business, while two other married men were about to kill each other over his wife. Think about that for a second...

The woman's husband married her knowing fully well what he was "buying", and was living with her happily.
But other men who couldn't possibly do same even though they had their own wives almost killed themselves over this woman.
Imagine what would have happened if one of these married men fighting over her actually married her.
They would have killed a lot of men over her.
That is my concern: that some men can't understand that SOME women are of this nature and are willing to kill other men because of such women.

DevilsEqual:
I do not have comprehension issues but I still do not get that u are saying

Are those qualities a blessing to the women or a curse??

A woman that 'exudes raw sexual attraction to all men' would feel bad knowing every single guy that passes her by only sees her as a potential intimacy gadget

I even thought u were about to like extraordinary qualities like that of Dora Akunyili or NOI which would make their husband worry about the kinda high quality men ready to frolick with them. I didn't know it's about sexiness

I'm back now...
So, what I'm saying is very simple: SOME (please note the "some" for emphasis) are that way, BY NATURE.
It is not a question of "blessing or curse". It is just what it is.
The women I refer to are very comfortable in that nature. They are not complaining. Others are however complaining either against them or on their behalf.
My problem is that a lot of men don't know that such women exist, and get entangled with them in marriage only to find out later that she is of this kind. Then the men start killing men over the woman without accepting their own responsibility in marrying such woman.

I will cite one real life example next...

DevilsEqual:
I do not have comprehension issues but I still do not get that u are saying

Are those qualities a blessing to the women or a curse??

A woman that 'exudes raw sexual attraction to all men' would feel bad knowing every single guy that passes her by only sees her as a potential intimacy gadget

I even thought u were about to like extraordinary qualities like that of Dora Akunyili or NOI which would make their husband worry about the kinda high quality men ready to frolick with them. I didn't know it's about sexiness

I will answer your question when I get back.
Stay tuned.

VinnyBaba:
OP,

I think what you should simply say is that Ladies of today are getting polygamous like Men.

The way Many men can't do with one Pvssy, Dat's how many Girls can't do with just one PREEK.

Well, I don't think it is a new thing. I think it has been like that from ancient times.
If you've read and researched this topic as I have, you will come to the same conclusion, too.
The difference today is that we have the internet and smart phones. So information get out more.

As for men, the family institution always accommodated/favored their polygamous possibilities.
That is why we have polygyny even today, as legal marriage constructs.
Patriarchy (or rule by men) ensured that women's sexual proclivities were suppressed and kept hidden.
Some ancient cultures didn't do that though, but the western culture we practice today certainly did that (hide women's sexual tendencies).
So, please forget about the talk of "ladies of today": this isn't a new thing.
The new thing about it is the internet and smart phones.

Iamblessed85:
And where did you get your education from?

I got my first degree in Nigeria of course, but got my subsequent higher degrees abroad, and the experiences are simply incomparable!
Same course, TOTALLY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES.
In fact, I only became (or started to consider myself) an INTELLECT after studying abroad.
Most Nigerian university trained persons lack basic analytical reasoning, and that is why "educated" Nigerians lead us backwards, year after year.
You see the evidence even here in nairaland whereby only very few Nigerians here are able to question information and leave dogma behind to get to possible truths.
Our education system needs serious overhauling.

The quality of school teachers, and the quality of food at school -IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS- are enough to make the difference in a child's mental development.
I would never forget the experiences I've had talking with my kids' PRIMARY SCHOOL teachers during school conferences (when parent sit down to discuss a child's academic progress with the teacher).
As a well educated man, I discuss IN DETAIL every aspect of my kids' academic development, and the teachers -ALL OF THEM - always competently provide all the information I needed.
I get the impression that these primary school teachers hold AT LEAST bachelors degrees.
One of them even has a masters degree!
I always look forward to those conferences.
Can you say same about Nigerian primary school teachers?

helinues:
When you have a love map and follow it, you shouldn't fall into the hands of the ladies you explained above.

Cheating in a relationship is just the most senseless thing to me. If you are tired of a relationship, gerrah from it without cheating.

Absolutely true.
The problem is that a lot of men don't have such map/plan.
In fact they only start to seriously think about marriage after they see a certain lady for the first time and get magnetized by her attraction.
Greed plays some role in it too. Good ol' competitive spirit of men also play some part -the "I want her to be MINE only" spirit.
They hardly ask, "should I even be caught dead with this type of woman?"
The men usually get to the "oops!" moment when they'd already fallen head-over-heels with such women and married them.
Suddenly when she starts becoming her natural self and men start flocking around her, the husband start looking for "magun" and other deadly means to drive the men away. Usually too late by then.

A very inconvenient truth.
There are some women in this world that were not created for one man. Their physical, psychological, emotional, and even spiritual architecture/composition were never designed to be possessed by one man.
I say this because lots of men have married these types of women with devastating consequences for themselves and broader society.
Before you propose marriage to such woman, take a detailed and honest (not wishful) look at her. See her for what she is, not what you want to see or hope she'd become in the future. Be fearless and honest to yourself, not society.
There are women that can't walk 100 meters without a man stopping her to talk to her. And it is not her fault. She just exudes raw sexual attraction, by nature.
Is that what you want in a wife?
Some men are comfortable with that, while others cannot handle it.
The dominant culture today belies these truths, but they remain truth.
So, before you kill another man for looking or chatting your wife, please make sure you first accept responsibility for marrying such a woman.
The woman you marry speaks more about you than about her.

The solution to this type of problem is very simple (but a lot of men won't listen): MARRY YOUR OWN WIFE -SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU, NOT SOMEONE WHO MARRIES YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE READY FOR MARRIAGE.
A lot of women's "real love" usually don't get ready for marriage until later, so the women just marry the "ready-made" men, with consequences like these.
I know a beautiful lady who married a lawyer, but that lady kept sleeping with her former boyfriend for years till that boyfriend got married too.
Most men see beautiful women and simply want to possess them, without asking serious questions.
These things will continue until men learn.