₦airaland Forum

SciLab:
Italy should be shut down immediately. No flight goes into that country or comes out.

Bervelyhillz:
This is a bit long but please bear with me.

I’ve been married to my amazingly beautiful wife for 3 years. The problem is she is very shy around me but at the same time seems to try to secretly please me constantly. It leaves me feeling guilty and I’m not sure of what to do next.

Backstory:

I met her through my mom. My MIL and my mom are childhood friends who grew up together. I never met her at the time since I lived in the US while She was in Nigeria. When I was 20 I saw her in a family friend’s wedding album. I was floored and my eyes were watering. She was the most attractive girl I had ever seen.

I figured out her FB and messaged her since I didn't want to initiate contact through our moms. I struck up a conversation. I soon realized that my mom fed info about me to my MIL which in turn got fed to her , so she already knew a fair bit about me. We chatted constantly, met up on my vacation to Nigeria , and hung out together every day. I learn she is still a virgin saving herself for marriage. I was still one too, mostly because A) I was chubby most of my life and didn't dare go near girls in that state and B) when I did start getting more fit, I already fell in love with her and it felt wrong dating at the same time. So yeah we had that in common.

Skipping ahead again to three years ago when I graduated from grad school. We met up a handful of times more, and things were awesome. She was outgoing with me, giggling over almost nothing and general silliness. We never did anything sexual, but we were intimate enough and honestly seeing her gave me goosebumps, so it wasn't on my mind. On one visit to Nigeria, she brought up the topic of marriage in a joking manner, something about how our mom's always planned it. I jokingly replied that I would be happy to marry her, then she got all serious and asked if I was for real. I said yes and, well, the rest is history.

The problem:

We had our wedding in Nigeria and, after the papers got sorted, she moved to the US to live with me. The first few months were interesting. She knows English pretty well and she majored in her native language, so she looked for translation jobs. She never got replies from employers, so I was getting a little suspicious, especially since she was an honors student at a pretty high ranking international university. I found out that she wasn't actually sending the applications out. I bring this up gently with her, and she starts tearing a bit telling me she wants to be a stay at home wife and that she didn't think I would be proud of her if she didn't get a real job. She says she was going to tell me soon, which I believe because I found a recent word document in our computer that was basically a draft of the speech she was going to give me. I don't mind her staying at home as I bring in enough money for the both of us and she is a really good cook.

This prompted me to sit down with her and figure out where our communication is breaking down. After a bunch of long discussions about this, I felt we were on the same page. She was still growing more timid around me and didn't start conversations easily with me, but she always seemed happy. I stepped up my displays of affection, showering her with compliments, hugs, and kisses. I would often catch her staring at me (usually while we ate), to which she would get red-faced and look away quickly. It’s been 3 years now and still does the smiling stare, except now she doesn’t look away when I catch her. The conversation starting has gotten a bit better, but nowhere near pre-marriage. While she always had this quiet peacefulness to her, I noticed she is intentionally not doing things that might get me worked up. Examples being: discussing politics (we have the same views), discussing my work problems, discussing anything philosophical in nature, etc. She will respond if I start, but she doesn’t take the initiative like before. I really miss that.

The sex is...interesting? As I said before, I didn't have any prior experience so I can't judge her, but she just lays on the bed and doesn’t move until I suggest to. She never initiates but never declines. I try to make it about her more often than not, but if I’m looking for feedback she quietly agrees with whatever I'm doing. After we finish, she lays in the same position looking at me, sometimes smiling, sometimes teary-eyed. I take it she likes it, but then again she never likes to talk about sex. From what I gather in our pre-marriage talks, she doesn't have any negative views on it and it wasn't shunned by her parents, it's just that she is shy. She doesn't like me seeing her naked even though I do (ha ha...:/ ). She is…shy very well proportioned…and I tell her how it is so she shouldn’t feel self-conscious. But she still covers up outside of sex.

Another issue is fitness: I work out constantly at home or in the park (calisthenics) and I invite her to join but she politely declines. She runs almost every morning so I thought maybe she gets enough from that. But I have noticed that my weight backpack at home is sometimes at a different weight than when I left it. I have also noticed She has made some serious butt/thigh gains which really stand out on her thin frame. When I ask if she is doing anything differently, she says “maybe it’s the running” then changes the subject. I don’t understand why she is working out in secret. This is most likely my fault though since I used to try and tease her into working out with me; I made a silly remark about how squatting/ham-raises will put more meat on her legs.

Conclusion:

Guys and gals, I need help. I love my wife dearly. She is funnier than any comedian, more disciplined than any soldier, and more beautiful than any celebrity. But she is making me feel weird by trying to secretly improve herself based on my preferences. Her shyness around me is awkward and I want a return to the easy-going pre-marriage . Has anyone had experience with this?

Also: she has made many friends here and still is in contact with a few back home. However she doesn't seem excited to be around them as much as when I offer to go out with her. She's always offers to cancel plans to stay in with me or go for a walk. I thought she might be depressed, but she is super cheerful even when she doesn't know I'm around.

CotenantNIG:
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Potential Room Mates on cotenant
https://cotenant.ng/potential-room-mates/

kelvxyn:
If AJ wasn't successful with fame, dj cuppy won't b chilling with him

Guys hustle wella, more importantly, pray for grace.

Netanya:
Wait you mean cuppy is in the friendzone

englishmart:
Tyson fury will teach you to focus. Keep Shagamuing and flirting with a billionaire's daughter.

SniperSmurf:
Fury is coming for AJ! [

Chingykay77:
So na now he sabi say even the greatest boxers they lose but when AJ lost his first against Ruiz jr he dy mock am..........
I hope he doesn't feel depressed sha
God grant him quick recovery

sarrki:
But very dangerous. . . .

Copied!!!

Governor Zulum of Borno State left the Government house yesterday without his security details and ended up at Pap, Akara & Masa joint for his breakfast, no camera man, only people who recognized him captured him. One thing special about him is that after buying, he empowers people beyond their wildest imagination.

This Professor is a living case study for the rest of the Nigerian Big Men/Women!

https://mobile.twitter.com/usmanyusuf/status/1231824354075381761

rationalmind:
This is a rather broad and wrong way to compare individual vehicles. You don't just throw vehicles at each other and compare because they are both mid sized sedans. Some mid-sized sedans are tuned for performance, others towards luxury and comfort.

A more accurate means which is also FAIR is to compare cars with similar drivetrain specs, features, handling, fuel economy, and of course, MRSP.

KINGreignn:
Just shut up!

Imagine the rubbish self indicting speech. I know a lot of Toyota brand new and used that will buy a Mercedes Benz 2x. Also, I know some folks who own Mercedes Benz but always putting 1000- 1500 fuel, always welding the ball joints and linkage arms and buying used tyres and the last time his car engine leaked oil, he couldn't cough 120k to buy an engine and had to park it for over 7months.

maynation:
I like this Particular analysis, your points are loud and clear, I even liked and shared it. Thanks for this piece, I just had to remove the part where you talked about broke people at the last lines. Those weren't needed.
Oshey Openbusiness.

rationalmind:
On what basis are you going to compare them? How do you compare a $50,000 dollar car to a $30,000 dollar car? Just like the OP of the thread, you're comparing apples and oranges.

Put the E350 against the Lexus GS350 and you have a fair comparison.

maynation:
When I talked about Nairaland I was just trying to let you know we all drive the low budget models of these brands and then make it look like we are driving the real deal.
I made a point up there, IPhone users can all brag about having an IPhone but iPhone 4 isn't same as iPhone X Max. As far as you guys still use the common random Mercedes I see around then don't come here and talk about luxury.
I insist, people who can afford luxury Mercedes Benz are not on Nairaland bragging about it.

BigJoe19:
Where is the sense in what you said? What of the people that have both Mercedes and Toyota cars, are they also broke?

maynation:
People who can buy those luxury brands are not even on Nairaland to start with.
Judging by your inputs then all of us on this thread are 'broke people', 80% of Nigerians in general sef.
4matic, ML350(2010 inclusive), C300, GL-Class, C280, CLS550 and even to E350 are not even luxury cars and these are cars Nigerians mostly hype.

We are all broke people as far as your standards are Lamborghinis ,Bugattis, Rolls Royce and Co.

maynation:
Have you seen people that drive Honda??
Common stop this already.

unimagin:
Mercedes na scam when it comes to price. [s]There is nothing a 2020 Mercedes C class can do that 2020 Camry cannot do[/s]. But check price difference and u understand the scam. Please don't talk of any luxury Mercedes offers, Mercedes is e REGULAR car company like TOYOTA. If u really want to talk about luxury, go for Ferraris, Bugattis, Lamborghinis etc these are luxurious cars not Mercedes

executive12:
No basis for comparison. Their target markets are different. Mercedes is a luxury brand. Toyota is not.
But generally, in terms of reliability, Toyota leads. In terms of performance, Mercedes leads.
For a country like Nigeria with extremely bad roads, Mercedes brands are more suitable. Camry, the most popular Toyota brand, is very popular among Nigerians. But I don't think Camry cars are suitable for Nigerian roads; usually too low to the ground, weak suspension. But they are excellent cars in countries with decent roads like the US.

In summary, in the US, for everyday driving, I will pick a Toyota brand, preferably a Lexus. In Nigeria, I pick a Mercedes.

Smartchoiice:
..Mercedes sells way more expensive cars than Toyota does, which is their whole objective. Toyota sells WAY more cheap cars than Mercedes does, which is their focus. ... To give you a feel for focus, Toyota sold more Camry's ALONE (430,000) than Mercedes sold ALL its cars in the US in a particular year (380,000).

Openbusiness:
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Openbusiness:
Electric siren with remote control,
Siren lights with in-built battery, with remote control, waterproof
Ultra-loud siren speaker

Say bye-bye to manual operation, handheld remote for convenience, safety while driving, multi-functional. In-built battery siren LED lights, that do not drain your car battery

Suitable for mid-size and full size SUVs, vans, trucks, pickups etc.

Price N120k
Serious buyer can contact here
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Openbusiness:
BIDDING still open