₦airaland Forum

..In hard times you know your true friends, you learn how to stand by yourself, you learn how to endure hardship, you learn how to think creatively and solve your own problems yourself. Embracing a fake life in times of crisis is rejecting the lessons essential for your promotion.

Nothing hurts your destiny and your mind like a fake life. Pretending puts your mind on the edge, you’re stressed, tensed, anxious and perturbed when you’re not keeping it real. Why is pretending negative and unhealthy?

...You need the prison, you need the palace, you need the lack and the surplus, you need the high and the low, you need the companionship and the loneliness, you need the scarcity and the abundance to build your essential character and capacity to sustain and manage greatness in life.

All things are working together for your good as long as you’re walking and working according to your purpose. To take on a pretentious life is to sabotage and derail your journey towards your predestined glory. Your wilderness experience is to toughen you and build your character and genuine appreciation for things and people...

Many of us may have thrived for some time as pretenders, but living a life that is fake is the strongest power that derails destinies. You see, everything that happens to one in life; the good, the bad and even the ugly, has a role to play in ultimately revealing a life of great glory and success.

You see, life is not meant to be rosy all through, life is not meant to be beautiful all through; you need pain in your life to develop some aspects of your person. You need rejection, you need betrayal, you need lack, you need isolation, you need failure, and you need embarrassment.

You also need success, encouragement, motivation, pleasant surprises, unconditional love, admiration, care and attention. You need the good and the bad for you to grow and manifest ultimately your true glory. It’s the blend of both sides of life that balances your capacity to handle your glory when finally revealed...

..These people spend so much money not on self-development or improvement, but on packaging their fake lives to appear different.

The consequence of earlier hurts, disappointments, treachery, ridicule, scandal, disgrace and mockery has activated and sustained the need to pretend in the lives of many.

Many of us as victims dismiss our thought on the truth and realities of things, using cognitive distortions to minimize the emotional impact of negative things in our lives.

We most times pretend because we can’t emotionally handle the pain, the embarrassment, the shame and rejection that may follow the discovery of reality and our truth if made known...

Many of us today have endured very tough and painful experiences in our pasts. Many have been abused by parents, guardians, teachers, caregivers, neighbours, lovers and advantage takers. Today they are scarred, bruised and injured in their souls, the only way to move on is to act and pretend these things never happened to them.

Many also suffered acute poverty growing up, some were so poor even the poor called them poor, and they subsequently hated their lives for it. As youths, young adults and even older adults today, the stigma of that upbringing is so devastating they never want to be seen and categorized as poor ever again, hence they’re willing to pretend they have money even if they are totally broke.

The fear of being poor or being categorized as poor drives them into borrowing without a means to pay back, purchase of many vain things on credit, and sometimes, even stealing....

...Perhaps a consequence of nurture, where many of us are raised to be fearful, suspicious and pretentious, we’ve carried the habit of pretending into our future, affecting many spheres of our lives subsequently. Pretending hence has become a natural part of many of us as independent adults.

One of the most injurious practice that takes away happiness, peace, freedom and sound health is pretending. To pretend is to behave as though something is the case when in fact it is not the case.

To pretend is to cover up your reality. It is to cover up your weaknesses, your struggles, your inadequacies, and your lack. It is a consistent effort to behave and act unreal – disconnecting with the realities of your life and living a superficial life perpetually. To pretend is to be fake...

One of the most lethal aspect of our nurture and upbringing as Nigerians is presence. Many of us are raised to act, form and behave outside of the truth; the realities and how things actually are.

The foremost reason for this is the desire to be accepted, respected and appreciated by the people in and around our lives. When people discover the truth about you, especially if your life is not that rosy, prosperous, enviable and successful, they tend to disrespect you, subjugate you, ridicule you and in fact laugh at you.

As natural humans – sensitive to gossip, slander, mockery and ridicule, we are unwilling to let people know the truth about our lives and situation. We fear they will speak ill of us, embarrass us, disgrace us and treat us with disdain once they know our so-called negative secrets. This is the reason many of us pretend to be something we are not or cover up a lot of issues in our lives...

MYSTIC19:
@op u get time sha.., to write all those long epistles..

Its credited to...

"Frankly Speaking by Muyiwa Afolabi"

I just posted from his website!

solmus:



what is it with this eleme junction and strange news

the case is simple, let them scan her fingerprints and use it to search BVN and Phone registration database her name , address would pop up and details on her simcard would reveal the location of the mast her phone last recieved signal, her last phone record would also reveal alot about people who droped her, all this could be done while they take her to the hospital


.

True....nice one!

EliteDude:
I stopped reading when i got there. There are lots who got theirs with sweat and toil, and here you are ... as if every unemployed graduated cheated in school. Common.

You skipped the part where it said the word 'PERHAPS' in the passage!
'Perhaps': Maybe

In other words,its possible that there are unemployed graduates who cheated and its also possible that some did not cheat!

Unless and until you acknowledge the truth about your realities ladies and gentlemen, you may never find an escape. It’s time to come to yourself.

Repent sincerely, go the legitimate way, go back to school, work hard, study, learn a craft, and art, a skill or business and put your life in proper perspective.

Walk out of that cheap, abusive and destructive relationship leading you to the pit and seek one who truly loves and cares, one power you’ve got is that one to make a change for yourself.

Don’t leave it till it’s too late, do what is right today.

You’re too valuable to end up as anyone ’s baby mama you deserve a marriage, you’re too classy to be a live in lover you’re way above that,

internet fraudsters don’t make it into Forbes and money ritual has painful, regrettable consequences.

Do thy diligence to pursue what is right and live by the great success rules of life, there’s no shortcut to good success I tell you, do the due, work hard, be productive and enjoy a life of peace, rest and divine blessings.




Frankly Speaking by Muyiwa Afolabi

Yes, you’re pretty, yes you’ve got the shape, the body, the skin, the sexy look and all. The attention subsequently distracted you from a proper life of internal growth, maturity and performance, you rejected true love and went for those with lust but are ready to pay. Your greed overruled your self-respect and you sold out to cash, hanging around with louts and old, rich, indecent men you had no business being with.

You gave your body out cheaply for clothes, shoes, bags, hair extension, and phones that will become old and outdated in less than a year. You wouldn’t read, you wouldn’t focus; you assumed you were living the life. You ignored the risks of infection, unwanted pregnancies, ritualist using up your destiny just to pepper your friends and rivals with the latest phone perhaps.

Now your season is over, you’re old, used, worn and lonely – you’ve lost love when you were chasing things, or worse still you’ve ended up living with or married to a man who bought you not the one who loved you and now the abuse is regular, the beating is steady, the disrespect is normal, he’s cheating with the maid and the dirty sales girl down the street who mocks you and laughs at you each time you go past, you can’t complain too much as it’s hard to conceive or birth a child, too much contraceptive taking its toll.

You don’t even have the capacity, skill or ability to earn your own money hence you’re stuck for survival reasons. Now you think it’s the indecent housemaid, your wicked stepmother, or Satan? Oh, no, you did this to yourself.....!

...Now you’re unemployable and the only job you can handle as a “graduate” is a supermarket salesperson, a front desk officer, an office assistant, a security man, a driver or a counter salesperson in an outlet and you blame the government, blame the environment, blame witches, wizards and the devil for your situation.

You’re perhaps paid 18 thousand a month, can hardly feed and pay your own bills, you’re broke and frustrated and you are very angry. Dear friend, you can’t cheat your way through life, you certainly did this to yourself.

Knowing fully well you cheated your way through school and have become unemployable, instead of repentance and embracing knowledge by studying, buying and reading good books, developing yourself, going for relevant courses and catching up on things you didn’t do while in school, you blamed everyone else but yourself and instead of fixing yourself, you still reject knowledge and went for scam, you’re cheating and defrauding people on the internet and you’re justifying your illegal act by blaming the economy and society.

You feed your greed and gather wealth you can never retain. You attract curses from legitimate earners you duped and when the curses begin to manifest you blame Satan?

Dear friend, you did this to yourself.....!

..Let me break this down.

Yes, you’re a graduate and for many years you’ve been job seeking without success. Many people you know are employed in good organizations and earning good salaries, even your younger ones are gainfully employed and doing great stuff for themselves, but you are still there –

many years post-graduation, no employment, no good offers and you can’t even seem to hold down any job for more than a month or two. Hence, you assume it’s not natural.

But can you remember back in the days while you were in school how you hated to study and preferred to play, and party and club, and trip and sleep? And you hardly attended lectures, hardly paid attention in class, asked friends to write your tests for you and paid people to write exams for you?

You perhaps also paid lecturers and sorted exam officers to give you grades you didn’t earn? Perhaps that was your style and approach to graduating with a 2.1 or even a distinction. Now you have a certificate misrepresenting your true knowledge and capacities. Your certificate is not a true reflection of what you can handle hence you can’t pass any employment interview, you can’t retain any employment and you can’t perform well at good employment because the truth is, your capacity is perhaps still that of a secondary school leaver, you never really schooled on campus, you only cruised for four or five years learning and developing nothing intellectually...

Ladies and gentlemen, please hear me this morning, I admonish you to make up your mind today to tell yourself the real truth about how you ended up here in your life in the first place and stop looking for who and what to hold responsible for what you perhaps did to yourself.


...Most of the situations and developments in our lives are actual consequences of decisions made or not made by us.

It’s hardly a coincidence, it’s mostly a consequence. Until and unless you go back in truth and in facts to the very root cause of why you’re here in life today, you may perpetually be a victim of deceit, exploitation, lies and self-delusion.

Perhaps there is no witch or warlock anywhere, perhaps it’s not your mean stepmother, perhaps it’s not the devil, and maybe; just maybe you are the one behind your own problems and misfortune in life.....

....From the little I’ve grown to know about life, if you refuse to acknowledge the source of a problem, you can only but compound that problem.

I don’t know how many tired people are out there listening to me this morning, I do not know how many more are lonely, depressed, frustrated and feel like throwing in the towel, I do not know how many are totally lost, trapped or confused about where they’re at and where they can possibly go and advance towards, I don’t know how many have given up on working on their lives and destiny, and all they look forward to is entertainment trends that they can bury their minds and situations in just to escape the realities of their stagnation in this life, but I’m here today to let you know that denial is not a cure for your condition, escaping into entertainment cannot erase your realities, no matter for how long you choose to escape, your issues will still be waiting after you eventually show up and believe me sooner or later, you will still show up to face your realities.....

And here you are today, thinking, worried, confused, upset, reacting and perhaps desperate for a life of meaning. You look at your life today and see nothing to cheer about, be excited about or be delighted about. You seek consolation in the assumption that things could actually be worse, but facing facts, you know your life is nothing near your desires, ambition and wishes for yourself. You look at your achievements, accomplishments, your progress and possibilities against your age and you realize with subtle anxiety and panic that you are quickly running out of time.

That thing you want, that life you want, the achievement you crave is not looking like it will happen anytime soon or worse still, it may never happen and now you’re desperately looking for answers, solution and ways out in anything, by any means, in any way.


And as you run from pillar to post seeking answers and escape, your situation perhaps isn’t getting better, no, as a matter of fact it’s getting worse and you’re further entangled in crisis, traps, deception, embarrassment, ridicule or exploitation. Those you think can, and should help you keep taking advantage of you – using you, molesting you, deceiving you, lying to you and scamming you back to back and you’re left helpless, disillusioned, tired and upset but still desperate for solution, real and quick answers, yet, nothing good is coming out of your pursuit and needless sacrifices......

lastchild:
What if the guy did exactly that to her in the public and she retaliated now?

What if the guy impregnated her mother and her sister and locked up her father

What if she gave the guy one of her kidneys to survive and the guy dumped her and went abroad to marry another person later came back to marry her because the donated kidney is weak and needs replacement and her own is a perfect match

Listen, we human being are too quick to judge without knowing the root of the incident

Oga/madam your imagined justifications is still not enough grounds to humiliate him that way!
Two wrongs can never make a right!
This sort of revenge,if true based on your assertions, can never make one better off no matter the gender involved!
My question is despite what she has done...what has she gained? Has she gained a mansion?
I heard its an old video...so is she presently living a fulfilled life after her ill-advised actions?

Nice submissions from the APC national chairman to be quite honest...Though such recommendations would never have sufficed had APC won Bayelsa!

Expert17:
Oga, no place to hide

Take ur L in peace

This your obsession about quoting me and Liverpool will choke you ohh

I hope this banter will still remain after we mercilessly beat ATM!

Hope u know that I now know the team you are supporting
Ur own banter dey load.....

paxonel:


Atletico has licked Mr klopp's secret

i hope you will have enough 'ego' to write this same thing after we beat atletico
Underrate us at your own peril

nero2face:
not, surprise..am not a PDP nor an APC, but cases like this has to end natural death to avoid unending legal battles, imagine if Supreme Court restores Ihedioha?, I swear more than 500 cases will be filed for reviews b4 the end of this week, let's just hope the Court improve on her judgement to avoid this historical disgrace

seconded!

tuborme:
Chief Justice asking a plaintiff what he wants done? Where did Tanko graduate from?

CanadaOrBust:
It is not what I believe.
The SC itself put up that list not me. Point is they can rehear and set aside same case

Lets wait and see!

CanadaOrBust:
No. They are supreme but they are also human and live in a fallible world

Let us wait for the verdict rather than preempting what might happen!

CanadaOrBust:
I’ve already shown u that u r wrong, why keep repeating same thing

Just because you have shown me what you believe does not imply i completely agree with you!
I am free to make my own analysis and opinion...Okay?

CanadaOrBust:
NO.
The Supreme Court has the power to set aside its judgement, and rehear same under the following circumstances:
1. Where there is a clerical mistake in the judgement or Order,
2. Where there is an error arising from an accidental slip or omission,
3. Where there arises the necessity for carrying out its own meaning and to make its intention plain,
4. Where any of the parties obtained judgement by fraud or deceit;
5. Where such a decision is a nullity,
6. Where it is obvious that the Court was misled into giving the decision under a wrong belief that the parties consented to it,
7. When the judgement was given without jurisdiction,
8. Where the procedure adopted was such as to deprive the decision or judgement of the character of a legitimate adjudication,
9. Where the writ or application was not served on the other party, or there is denial of fair hearing and
10. Where the decision/judgement is contrary to public policy and will perpetuate injustice.

If that is the case...then they are no longer supreme!

As much as i want Ihedioha to become governor of imo state,the supreme court has made a stance whether right or wrong which can be corrected in subsequent matters similar to this!
Any attempt to reverse their initial stance will throw up more reviews and they will end up being deprived of their supremacy!

CanadaOrBust:
U people always say this and it is not true.

Olorunfemi v Asho
This is yet another case in which the Supreme Court took the bold position to set aside its earlier decision. The Supreme Court set aside its judgment delivered in January 8, 1999 on the ground that, it failed to consider the respondents’ cross–appeal before allowing the appellant’s appeal.

Johnson v Lawanson
Coker J.S.C. delivering the court’s judgment held that “when the court is faced with the alternative of perpetuating what it is satisfied is an erroneous decision which was reached per incuriam and will, if followed, inflict hardship and injustice upon the generations in the future or of causing temporary disturbances of rights acquired under such a decision, I do not think we shall hesitate to declare the law as we find it.” The court then ordered that the appeal be re-heard de novo by another panel of Justices of the Supreme Court. Nadio2019



https://www.vanguardngr.com/2020/02/precedents-when-supreme-court-is-asked-to-reverse-itself/

I have a question for you.....Does the constitution prevent the supreme court from changing its initial stance? YES or NO?

Jimalicoco:
Supreme court cannot reserve its judgement,even as the judgement is full of errors. However, it will be noted so as to avoid future occurrence.

Exactly!

Very unlikely that the supreme court will change their stance no matter how strong the evidence might seem!