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Men will always behave like men but what confuses me is the way they make and take decisions. Check this out and tell me your opinion if it were you.

Ikenna wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates [Ifeoma, Nneka & Ngozi]. He gives each woman a present of N650,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

Ifeoma does a total make over.
She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

Ikenna was impressed.

Nneka goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

Ngozi invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the N650,000. She gives him back his N650,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, Ikenna was impressed.

He thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know. You can never tell what they base their judgement on.

Quality or quantity.

allyed to do to see the slide is click on the 710cap.pps, folow the downloding instrutions and enjoy the slide

All a Man wants is a patient woman, to watch his dreams fall to place and to quit nagging a brother, you think she knew he would be this close to rulling a super power, no, but she stuck with him and his VW bettle anyway, where are all the good women at, damn!

@Temivict
you are so bad, why coming to me after seeing that guy, sorry for you i was tripled protected

@ Temivict
go do test now oooh as you were with him last time

the cap

Let us fresh a little. away from the usual cars and their prices

@Temivict
why are you stoping others to have the plesure you had with him last time?

millage?

ladies who goes first?

where are all the ladies in the section? he told me that he is getting impatient .he said he cant wait for too long, because there are dozen waiting for his attention

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Hi,

Take a five minute break and enjoy this



The Banana Test

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals. King Kong, an Ape, an Orangutan and a Monkey passing by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
Think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds.

Got your answer?

Now scroll down to see the analysis.





















If your answer is:
Orangutan = you're sick
Ape = you need a break
Monkey = worse, you are suppose to be in the hospital right now,
King Kong = I think you better take 1 year leave,


Why?! ?,
A Coconut tree doesn't have bananas!
Obviously you're stressed and overworked.
Take some time off and relax!

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in a prison and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison.
Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner dies, the caretaker rings a bell, which would be heard by everyone. The caretaker then gets the body and puts it in a casket, enters his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the lid shut.
Finally, he puts the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rings, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept. She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker would be filling out the death certificate. When the care- taker returns, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the coffin. The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.

The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it.
The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died.
She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell rang. She got up, picked the lock of her cell, and slowly walked down the hallway.
She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast. She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept.
Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail, she was one step closer to freedom. The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud. Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last.

After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. I'M FREE; I'M FREE, FREE AT LAST!!! Or so she thought!!! Feeling curious a while later, she decided to light a match to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her. To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next to the dead caretaker!!!

Moral Lesson:
Many people believe they have life all figured out, plans all mapped out, but sometimes it just doesn't turn out the way they planned! In essence, it is safer, surer, and most fulfilling to ALWAYS put ALL THINGS into God's hands because He will always come through for you.
Have a good fulfilling week ahead.

Stay blessed

HER DIARY


------------------




Day night, I thought he was acting
weird. We had made plans to meet at a
cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, soIely thought he was upset at the fact that I
was a bit late,
but he made no comment.Conversation wasn't flowing so

I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but
he kept quiet and absent. I asked
him what was wrong - he said,

"Nothing."I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had
nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept
driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u,too."

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.Finally I
decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided
that I could not take it anymore,


so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to
do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is gonna be a disaster.
_______________________________






HIS DIARY


==========





Today Germany lost the football match
against Spain.

DAMN IT!

Two boys stole a bag of fruits and ran to the nearest cemetery to share the loot. As they were scaling the gate of the cemetery, two oranges fell and were left behind at the gate. A drunk man on his way from a local bar was passing near the cemetery gate and heard the following -One for me, One for you!! He immediately sobered up and ran as fast as he can to the local priest. Father James come with me and witness God and Satan are sharing corpses at the Cemetery- He said. They both ran back to the cemetery gate and the voices continued- One for me One for you!! Suddenly one of the voice said Let's get the two at the gate (meaning the Oranges that fell).

One of the Pastor's shoes is still at the cemetery as at the time of posting this topic

PHONETICS TROUBLE



A NORMAL PERSON: People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
Chris Okotie : Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

NORMAL PERSON : Twinkle, twinkle, little star
Chris Okotie : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

NORMAL PERSON : All that glitters is not gold.
Chris Okotie : All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosers
Chris Okotie : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no tales
Chris Okotie : Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

NORMAL PERSON : Beginner's luck
Chris Okotie : Neophyte's serendipity.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

NORMAL PERSON : A rolling stone gathers no moss
Chris Okotie : A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

NORMAL PERSON : Birds of a feather flock together
Chris Okotie : Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

NORMAL PERSON : Beauty is only skin deep
Chris Okotie : Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******

NORMAL PERSON : Cleanliness is godliness
Chris Okotie : Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

NORMAL PERSON : There's no use crying ove

Eteobong Orok left Calabar,Cross River State in Nigeria for Hollywood and neva came back. He changed his name to Jaimie Foxx!!!!!!

tattoo

Early signs your son might be gay.
LOL!!!

Jay-Z and Beyonce in Kwara in ilorin. Jigga Abeg help us manage Coke and Fanta we no get Armand de Brignac Champagne.

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Hi everyone my name is NDUKA AMADI i knw all u men and women out there like the ruffneck kinda brother. so here is 1 rite in front of ur screen, it dont get no betta than dis baby. i'll give u goood KISSING everyday cuz my LIPS dont lie. so go on spread da love.U knw u wanna mwaaaaaaaaaaah

SPECIAL OFFER!CLICK CLICK PASS THE KISSS KISSS

Hi everyone my name is NDUKA AMADI i knw all u men and women out there like the ruffneck kinda brother. so here is 1 rite in front of ur screen, it dont get no betta than dis baby. i'll give u goood KISSING everyday cuz my LIPS dont lie. so go on spread da love.U knw u wanna mwaaaaaaaaaaah

SPECIAL OFFER!CLICK CLICK PASS THE KISSS KISSS

A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old cock. As he feels that the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.


Old cock to Young cock : "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.


Young cock : What you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.


Old cock : Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?


Young cock : No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.


Old cock : In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win you shall allow me to have one hen and if I lose you will have all.



Young cock :

O.K. What kind of competition?


Old cock: 50 meter run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters.


Young cock : No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.


Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off and when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases him with all his might.


Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock back in a matter of seconds.


Suddenly, Bang! , before he could overtake the old cock, he was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, "Hell ! This is the fifth GAY chicken I've bought this week !"

A little girl asked her mother,

'How did the human race appear?'







The mother answered,

'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.'



Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.







The father answered,

'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'







The confused girl returned to her mother and said,

'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God,

and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'







The mother answered,

'Well, dear, it is very simple.

I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'

A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar,
FREE BEER!
FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON
WHO CAN PASS THE TEST!
So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.

The Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth, you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her."

The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there.

Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"

He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence.

The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body.

"Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"