₦airaland Forum

Odunayaw:
God always answers, one way or another,
even when people don't recognize his presence. "In a dream, for instance, a vision at night, when men and women are deep in sleep,fast asleep in their beds— God opens their ears and impresses them with warnings
To turn them back from something bad they're planning, from some reckless choice — Job 33:14-18 MSG

I'm glad others have in their sincerity giving you counsel. I'd just like to add this, given that even after this case you're still going to have to "find" a wife.
Colossians 3:15 admonishes that we let the peace of God be an umpire in our heart. In times like this (times of make or marr decision) I spend my time away from "other voices" (Media, other people etc) and search my heart, waiting and testing each opinions that come from it with the scriptures. The spirit of man is the candle of God, searching the depths of him (his soul)


Truly, counsel in the heart of man is like deep well but a man of understanding will draw it out. Wise opinions (even from hallowed people) may not be wisdom that is profitable to you. Let the peace of God be your referee even more than all the dreams, opinions and counsels you have received.

Here's my 2kobo. I hope it meets you well.

chrisooblog:
Good afternoon bro. I salute your courage in sharing a personal issue on a public forum like this but as they say a problem shared is one half solved..

I'm no relationship expert but at the end of the day a successful marriage is one where the two of you love, respect, understand and share the same belief system. If your intended checks all the boxes then you really have to do what's best for you.

Spiritually speaking I'm glad you said you are a christian and the scripture tells me no one can declare unclean what God almighty has made clean so anyone trying to stop you from marrying your girlfriend based on where she's from is unfairly stereotyping her. If her behavior hasn't raised any red flags then you should do what's best for you. More importantly I think you yourself should engage in reflection and prayer for God to reveal why most people are seeing bad things regarding this proposed union. I believe the lord is able to reveal everything hidden under the sun.

In the I perfectly understand why you would be wary going against your relatives especially, if they are against the union, but at the end of the day you are the one who will live with the woman so let your happiness be paramount.

Will be praying for you and wish you a blessed and fulfilled marriage whenever you decide to walk down the aisle. Don't fret boss God is in control.

do4luv14:
happy Sunday bro, been reading your comments so far, first, Take it from me, those dreams are a forewarning of events to come, the almighty is showing you what you are up against, should you go ahead with your plans


Take those pastors seriously, if it had only been one, but three had told you same thing, if the solution is to leave her, then Varmose bro


To be candid what she and her cousins, including her Dad 3 sisters need is deliverance, deliverance from strongholds that had been fighting to keep them single, I tell you they had been married off, or offered, even before they were born,

I myself, I had been for told of events to come thru dreams, the scariest of them was watching my dad died before my eyes, it was when he was about to be buried, I started praying, refusing to let them buried him,

Right there is reality Neighbors were trying to revive my day, in same setting room I was sleeping,

Take those dreams serious bro

mostob:
Good...very good. Everything is working for you already. Just cut her off like that.
Very soon, one nwanyi oma go soon knock your door...

mostob:
Good...very good. Everything is working for you already. Just cut her off like that.
Very soon, one nwanyi oma go soon knock your door...

Meliforme:
You should have said this earlier.
This is the one of the major reasons why the marriage should not hold.

Seems like the two of you cannot become one, if she finds your infractions unbearable even to the extent where external persons have to come in to appease her. The two of you have not started living together and it is like this.

Again the decision to see men of God somehow shows you have a kind of doubt about her. I may be wrong about this, but marriage should not be entered with a double mind, there should be peace and conviction.

mostob:
Bro.. please back off. Marriage is for a lifetime and one needs to enjoy it with peace of mind. Forget about love bro .what if the love is induced and not naturally from your heart?
My advice is, call this girl and tell her what's up but never mention your people's stance lest she blame them.

TFLASHOGEE:
I find it hard giving advice on issues like this because most times the person involve might have made up their minds or in a mental unstable condition but as a man once the red flags out weight the little positivity that still makes you think things can work out please just walk away for your sanity and with time you will be healed. And this part of her character or attitude is damn much of a red flag that will grow worst when she finally has the legal right as a wife. Comerade my advice is in the pics below

ChrisKels:
Idíat!

You have been misled by dem clergies who lied to you that the traditional way of life is evil.

Lol! I don't knack jazz because I'm not evil, but I have ofor na ogu that fights my battles.
I will never wish a fellow man death, but if you wish me death, as long as you walk this Earth and you drink water. The earth will hunt you down, and water you drink will become poison to you. That is just it. I believe in egbe belu... and whoever said we shall not live, shall take a leave before us to go find out what life looks like at the other side

ChrisKels:
Yes, I am though I was born a Catholic, and sent to the best Catholic and one of best secondary schools in Nigeria "Order of the Monks - Marist Brothers" just so I could be taken away from my traditional roots because they saw the signs even before my birth. Lol I started serving mass in the Catholic church as a little kid and I served till I left the university( I can still serve till tomorrow, if I wish to because I love it), but then, I knew who I was all along. I love the Catholic church due to its doctrines that somehow align with the teachings of African traditional religion.

I'm not one who trashtalks other religions but I still Accord Christianity its respect because of the Catholic Church.

I just love the traditional way of life where I observe my Chi, Ndi mmiri( what you call the marine world), Ajala(mother Earth), anyanwu na Agbara, onye uwa(incarnate) and others.

Make peace with your Chi and your heart will know enormous peace.

Sugarboyy:
A pastor once told me and I quote, "you can go ahead and marry her, I won't tell you not to but what I am seeing, you will regret marrying her in future. So pray to God yourself for guidance and pray to God to cause a quarrel that can't be settled if truly she is not your wife to be".
And this I did and within 1 month, the quarrel that happened shake the both families and till today the both families still sees and treats each others as sore enemies.
For my dad who seemingly liked her when he was alive to appear to me in my dream 3 days after his final burial and warned me about marrying the girl, that was when I finally made up my mind to back out.

My brother, don't listen to people that would tell you if it's your family and friends that will stay with her, majority of them might have seen things that they don't want to tell you.

So my brother, you marry her or not, the both of you will still live because the both of you were separately living and living happily I supposed before the both of you met.

So, brother, from experience, and with all you have said, I will tell you not to marry her and run for your life.

I wish you well

jieta:
You remind me of my mom warning to my uncle her junior brother.

She warn him not to marry from TIV tribe he did not listen, he went ahead and got the girl pregnant, my mom take him to the village to my grandma. My grandma told my mom that the woman in question has already give birth to a son for my uncle so there is no need to separate them. My mom objected, she said she has been with this people for more than thirty years she knows the in an out of this people.


My uncle went ahead and marry this woman, when the attack start coming it was unbelievable, first there poison him the same people who welcome him with open hands poison him we rushed him to the village, then when the second attack came he could not with stand it. Although she gave
birth to four boys in a marriage that spam for ten years before my uncle died, two of the boys are with my mum, one with my aunt and the last with her.

I did not mention the part where my uncle was paying money to her wife family every year, i did not even mention the promiscuous life of my uncle wife when he was alive and after his death.


Your kinsmen can't just wake up and say you should not marry from a particular place No! is what there have seen and experience of life makes them took such decision

jieta:
You remind me of my mom warning to my uncle her junior brother.

She warn him not to marry from TIV tribe he did not listen, he went ahead and got the girl pregnant, my mom take him to the village to my grandma. My grandma told my mom that the woman in question has already give birth to a son for my uncle so there is no need to separate them. My mom objected, she said she has been with this people for more than thirty years she knows the in an out of this people.


My uncle went ahead and marry this woman, when the attack start coming it was unbelievable, first there poison him the same people who welcome him with open hands poison him we rushed him to the village, then when the second attack came he could not with stand it. Although she gave
birth to four boys in a marriage that spam for ten years before my uncle died, two of the boys are with my mum, one with my aunt and the last with her.

I did not mention the part where my uncle was paying money to her wife family every year, i did not even mention the promiscuous life of my uncle wife when he was alive and after his death.


Your kinsmen can't just wake up and say you should not marry from a particular place No! is what there have seen and experience of life makes them took such decision

ChrisKels:
Just pull out.

ChrisKels:
Lol I sabi Aro Ndi Izuogu well. Sha, there jazz strong but that year my grandfather's right hand man, Chief Ikonne a.k.a "Air-raid", "Agu na-eche mba 1 of Isuikwuato" dey always put them in their places. Several times, in a contest, he defeated and brought back home the rams of Mezuo Okoye a.k.a "Pericoma" Lion of Africa", “Arusi Makaja 1 of Arondizuogu", "Arusi izuogu na iheme. Speed Darlington's father

Bro, abeg as your mind no strong, just pull out of that marriage, ka udo chia

JohnBullMySon:
Then you have your solution here. They simply did some findings about the kindred and family, and that influenced their responses. So if I were you, I will concern myself less with where she's from and more with her character. Can I tolerate all her bad attitudes without getting too angry?

If she has a hidden nasty attitude that will never sit with you, or you with her, then all those prophecies will come to pass. However, if you and her are good together, behavior wise, then all those background tales are that, TALES. Almost all bad marriages are caused by behavior that a partner can't tolerate. Know this and know peace. Your call.

JohnBullMySon:
Did the pastors ask where she was from before giving their verdict? They may all have been influenced by that.

ChrisKels:
Your mind is made up bro. If you are convinced within yourself that there are elements of truth in your fears and that you can't handle it, then cancel the union, and get yourself another girl, otherwise, if you end up with the girl, any little challenge wey you get, you go dey fear and you go dey suspect her, you go begin see her as reason for the challenges, like that, peace dun run from your home oo.

This is just my little advice nwanne m

Oasis001:



You've made a Decision already, but seem you're bothered with guilty conscience. Go ahead with your Decision bro, and don't feel guilty over it, coz its Marriage we are talking here not just dating.

ChrisKels:
Pastors and so called prophets can be manipulative and they tend to feed on your fears. I don't trust them, they lie a lot. Were you having those dreams before or after the warnings from people?

Stormtrooper11:
Big Bro, please if you know that you aren't getting what you want, if you know the love is not reciprocated, bikonnu leave her. Love fit make you dey think say this girl is the best thing after slice bread. We're talking about marriage here. A very important part of a man's life. We should avoid costly mistakes. Any red flags can cause problems in the future. Our people say, "what an old man sees while sitting down, a young man can't see it ontop an iroko tree".
Nwanne, you'll find a better person, don't overlook flaws just because of love. Think critically.

TheSuperNerd:
Charles... another thing to find out for yourself after much introspection and being completely honest with yourself.

Do you have peace of mind as regards your being with this lady? Does she give you the vibes of true peace when you are with her and when you think about her.

Faults will always be present with you both. Your sexual compatibility could also be awesome BUT....

...Do you see truly see a future with her that includes peace of mind? Do you see a future where you can count on her as your wife for better and for worse?

If you do, then... fine. But If you don't... then my man, drop it.
You don't want anything that will hit you with HBP in the future.

You know, not even Blood is thicker than peace of mind.


In the end, the decision is at your table. It is your future. Not that of others. It is you, Charles.

ChrisKels:
You know the girl more than they do. Now, ask them to tell you why they don't want you to go there.

If you were not a Christian, I would have suggested that you run consultations(igba afa) on her head to see if the road clear or not.

Me, I won't settle with a woman without thorough consultations, not what people say or believe

ChrisKels:
You didn't state even a single fault from either the girl, her family or Izuogu, neither did the people who have been advising you to quit. Dude all I read here is stereotype, unless you don't wanna spill it all.

TheSuperNerd:
Guy, abeg analyse naa... no carry your fight with Odenigbo come my side ooo. I no want.

TheSuperNerd:
Well, like already said. Ndidi-Nwakali-Aribo remains my first choice.

Ndidi-Onyeka-Nwakali is not a bad trio at all. I have already talked about the balance it also gives. Nwakali is not only adept at long balls but at through balls and lines-breaking passes which is part of why the Ndidi-Onyeka-Nwakali trio looks good theoretically and from analytical POVs merging their attributes.

But shaa, it depends on the opposition.

If it is Algeria we play, then I could consider an Ndidi-Onyeka-Nwakali trio from the start ahead of my first choice trio. It gives us mad energy, solidity, workrate X100 and some measure of control, calm and conduction.

But against some other teams like Ghana or Co... Ndidi-Nwakali-Aribo can more than hold the forte from the start.

It's just my thinking that Aribo could came really good at this tournament. But he is not alone. Nwakali is yet another weapon... But from deep. Aribo is the goal threat in through the middle that can add to whatever goal threats we boast from the wings and in the CF role. He is the attack overload joker.

forgiveness:
Menhhhh! Onyeka got that potential to be a world class player. He is got massive talent that can’t go unnoticed.

He is arguably the best midfielder we have now though still growing.

I don’t see the reason to keep him on the bench in this tournament. He should be starting games alongside Ndidi.