₦airaland Forum

CHoccolaTE:
Ok thank God I admitted I am carrying men matter on my coconut head,
@bold I didn't stop you from doing anything ok, if I like let me suffer heart attack because of men, it's a free world,
na you mention me first nai make I reply.

Apt!

plappville:
A man is someone who can take responsibility, provide for his family, hard working, show respect, walk away from a fight, moralistic, Treat his woman right, be able to defend himself, be himself and above all be a good role model for his children.

Nice one.

..and what is the role of a woman? what "makes" a woman?

mariahAngel:
Yup!
"Na cooperation make rice full pot" as they say

Play your part, I play mine.

Before nko

mariahAngel:
She sure is a smart woman for not letting an irresponsible man's son tie her down.

Yup! because he is solely the son of an "irresponsible man" - he's not her son too..

Nice one!

CHoccolaTE:
Lol, so because of only me and my anti foolish Nigerian men threads thats why nairaland boys have carried women matter on their head

You've carrying 'nairaland boys' matter on your head for years now and it hasn't broken yet - though it is empty

Let us carry women's matter on our heads in peace bikonu

mariahAngel:
Better the "selfish route" than sacrificing her life for her son, only for him to grow up and 2. Watching her son give another woman (his wife or girlfriend) everything!
Now this is what pains her the most. Wherever you see wives and mother in laws clashing, in most cases, it is as a result of this - a single mother has invested all her time, love and affection in singlehandedly raising her son, believing that he will value her for the rest of his life but reality is often a far cry!
In my observation, most mother-son relationships are sustained by aggressive and desperate efforts of the mother reaching out to her son. It is seldom the other way round.
The worst part is if she allows jealousy override her sense of rationality and decides to make an enemy of her son's choice of a spouse, she bears the risk of losing him completely because he would most likely choose his woman over his mother who probably raised him to always overvalue the female gender - this is a notion that she didn't realise would backfire on her once her son falls in love.
Right?








He's perfectly aware, and contrary to what nairaland men would love to believe about single mothers, he married her in full. Did all the rites...threw a big party and all!

As for her son growing up resenting her, he'll get over it!
If his father had done the needful, his mother would not have married another man.

Good for her.. but he sure is a smart man to ensure he isn't fully responsible for another man's seed

Uyi168:
.
I don't think any sensible woman will reject help or financial support from the father of her child..

Sad thing is, no man wants to be unfortunate!

No one will happily be paying school fees for a child who acts rude to him and will not appreciate his efforts after being brainwashed by his/her embittered mother

Call it "irresponsibility" - but it's a major factor in why a lot of men are "absentee" fathers. When two elephants are at war, the grass suffers.

mariahAngel:
Just as single mothers have the right and choice to start over and live life to the fullest.

A single mother I know of remarried, leaving her son with her mother( the boy's grandmother). I initially felt she didn't do the right thing, but going by this thread and comments, I think she made the right decision.
Her son might grow up someday, meet some girl and decide that his mother is being too "clingy'
" You cannot ground a flight bird " after all.

The little boy missed his mother so much he became sick within a few days of not seeing or being with his mother. (I hope he's getting used to his new reality....it's a tough world)
Now, imagine her sacrificing her life for her son instead of taking the chance to rebuild her life, then he grows up and decides to be ungrateful...

Nairaland is truly an eye opening platform.

Good for her ... I hope she's truly at peace with the decision to take the "selfish" route .. even though there is a high probability that the boy will grow up resenting her for choosing a man over raising him..

It's a tough world indeed. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I just hope her 'new man' is aware she abandoned her son with the grandmother?

amliftedhigher:
Truth even some actress. I am a witness

Which actress? drop name abeg

LOL.

Then be ready to "jail" every single NIMC officer.

Those niggas have already cashed out on desperate mofos out there - I'm talking in the millions

Raalsalghul:
4. Growing poverty in Nigeria.

abidoye21722:
4. Growing poverty in Nigeria.

So how come men don't feel entitled to the pockets of rich women? abi poverty only affects women?

cococandy:
Nah Man this one is a male epidemic. Everyday a different man is on NL crying about some women’s decisions to be alone.

And you guys want us to believe relationship with women does not benefit you. Pick a side.

Lol.

Nobody is "crying' about anything madam. People create threads on topics that interest them. It's a free and faceless forum.

Nothing is ever that deep!

cococandy:
It never ends

Women are useless to men yet men won’t stop lamenting daily on NL about women who don’t have men in their lives.

Same way CHoccolaTE hates men yet won't stop creating threads about men.

It never ends

dominique:
And does this justify the father abandoning his own child for the mother to singlehandedly raise? Did she brainwash the father from bonding and being financially responsible for his own child? Imagine blaming your own irresponsible behaviour on the only parent that cared for the child in his most vulnerable years. Does that remotely make any form of sense?

Stay there and be waiting for a child you abandoned to look for you and hear your side of the story. Fortunately we're in the generation of woke kids, they no dey look for any useless absentee parent anymore. They'd rather disgrace you publicly on social media or any other platform. If they eventually look for you, it's because they want to tell you to your face how badle you messed up

Don't act like a lot of single mothers are not guilty of purposely keeping their children away from the father out of bitterness & spite .. that a man jilts you, doesn't mean he has lost any rights over his children birthed by you.

BennyDGreat:
How can you ascertain he's been quiet on the matter?

Not everything comes on social media. These men don't live their lives on social media. They deal decisively with things without bringing it on social media.

You would be surprised he would have met with the boy and his parents personally

..and of course, you are his PA to know whether he called the parents and met with them personally

Claudiusdeux:
Word.

But the Nigerian church is an image worshiping church...they worship Good image more than the Lord.

They worship their pastors.
They fear their pastors.
but have no regard for God. Neither do they practice true righteousness.

Kondomatic:
Women have always wanted better/richer men..

Even in the olden days.

Everybody's daughter wanted the greatest wrestler, the highest wine tapper, the most skillful hunter, farmer etc.

It's not a new thing.

If they tell you how women fell for men with wide bongo trousers, longest afro hair etc, you go laugh.

And those guys with Volkswagen tortoise car were the real play boys.

It has always been so.

Eve saw Satan with the only Apple in the garden that Adam wouldn't let her eat, and she fell for it.

They have always wanted who has more and it's not a bad thing.

The major difference now though, is that;
in exchange for providing, men of old were 'rewarded' with a chaste and loyal bride.

While men of today are playing a losing game, providing for promiscuous, rude, unfaithful and disloyal whoores.

comtem2011:
Don't say that, some lost their husbands in their prime. Thereby becoming single mother.

Good point, although their end is often the same - unfortunately.

Just look at the story on front page right now, with the woman crying and jubilating that her son returned to Nigeria after 13yrs.

Boys grow into men, and men often go off to find their footing in life.. now imagine how lonely she had been for the past 13 years especially if he's her only child..

Just read a thread on front page of a young girl getting insulted for desiring a rich man.. which got me thinking;
Almost every Nigerian girl boldly believes she deserves to be swept off her feet by a FinancialLord and Saviour ...Most guys can testify to girls shamelesly making financial demands right off the bat once you start a conversation with them - relationships are now transactional in nature and the concept of "love" is long gone.. the question now is, what has led us to this point? and I've come to the conclusion that this skewed mentality amongst girls of today is as a result of the hypergamous nature of females, combined with societal factors (via media indoctrination).

1. Nollywood movies.
We all grew up watching movies where the storyline often involves; a young poverty-stricken village girl who the "rich Prince" sights fetching water from the stream and he chases her vehemently until he marries her - she then becomes the Queen of the land and all her enemies and the enemies of her parents are put to shame. In most instances there would've also been a "rich princess" from the neighbouring village who is portrayed as a "bad girl" spoilt and rude .. and that's why the prince rejects her to go for the " humble" poor girl..

Similar storylines have included; the orphan-girl suffering in the hands of her wicked stepmother until a "knight in shiny armour" comes to her rescue and marries her out of her miserable state.

.. with repeated conditioning through movies, young Nigerian boys were indoctrinated to believe their value is tied to their ability to become "rich" so they can rescue a poor "good girl" and marry while every little girl was brainwashed to believe her reward for being a "good girl" is being blessed with a rich husband.

2. Simp-ish R'nB music of the 90s and modern-day Afrobeats.
Those of us who grew up in the 90s can testify to the sheer amount of simp-conditioning music from the likes of; Jagged Edge, Boys 2 Men, Ginuwine, Tank, Usher etc..
Rappers like; JaRule, Fat Joe and the rest also put out music that conditioned women to believe a man owes them the world!

Furthermore, female artists cemented this believe system with lyrics like:
"can you pay my bills? can you pay my telephone bills can you pay my automobiles?... I don't think you do, so, you and me are through" - Destiny's Child
"tryna get with me with no money oh no, I don't want no scrub..." - TLC

Nowadays, we have Afrobeats lyrics like:

"If I tell you say I love you o, my money my body na your own o, 30 billion for the account o, Versace and Gucci for your body o baby"
"money fall on you, banana fall on you, coz I'm in love with you" - Davido

"It's what you do with the banana, go determine if you go get house for banana" - Olamide

Lastly,

3. The inherent nature of hypergamy - In simple terms, female hypergamy is a woman's inclination to marry the best man she can find. This stems from an inherent biological motivation to get pregnant with the best genes possible.

...yet she still covered up.
Beauty with brains

Unlike those bleached out oloshoss who take every opportunity to expose their cement loaded yanshzz for the world to see.
toke makinwa, mercy bbn and co...

Leshurr:
I wish you didn't bother responding to him at all..

..from his Buhari rant, it's so obvious he's just a senile elderly man looking for a young person to insult...

Shouldn't have bothered really. thanx!

Pegi23:
Yeah you all read it. Nigerian guys get pleasure from bashing their female counterpart talking about nigerian girls loving money more than love..really? Let me tell you all some thing,once a nigerian guy ask you out the next thing on his mind is sex. They feel once they start dating you they have right to your honey pot..And a lot of nigerian girl need love not sex but once we know what u need us for we have to ask for cash and it will turn into a business transaction which the guys will later be shouting up and down..can't we have this type of love in nigeria where by we love each other and take care of each other if we like no sex involved till after marriage � but no those honry dogs won't let it happen rather they want you to open your legs wide and they should stick their 2 inches into you any time, minutes,hours of the day without caring about you or your welfare and at the end of the day they bash you to their friends who will mock you. But once they pay heavily before having you the will only call you a leech and nothing else because they don't want their friends to know how much they pay.
Most girls in the world love money not only nigerian girls..
Please you all should stop insulting nigerian girls you know it is not only we nigerians that are in this forum, people from around the world are here reading what ever trash you have to say. Pls nigerian guys grow up and have sense and stop behaving like a descendants of morons.. English is not my first language tho .#peace out

Omooo with all this epistle, I sure say dem don fucckk OP taya

etrange:
[s]
I wasn't really expecting any logical comeback. [/s]

You really expected me to read that lengthy trash?

I laugh in Spanish

Take your frustration elsewhere abeg.Oponu.

etrange:
[s]How can you just quote someone to insult him cause he stayed abroad for a while? Do you know his age? Do you know at what age he left the country? Do you if he went as a baby without any say? Would you blame his parents for that? If you had the chance to raise your kids in a better society, wouldn't you do the same? Since you're the one to determine whose experience is relevant, tell me, whose experience is relevant really? The experience of the so-called young people who are still trooping out of the country everyday? How are they different from the person you quoted or his parents?

I am corrupt? Lol. Nigerian politics is probably affecting your perspectives cause you're beginning to sound like Buhari. Even blaming the older generation for your misery when you have not achieved anything yourself for the coming the generation is a serious mental case. The parents of the person you quoted might have worked hard to send him abroad or moved with him. What are you doing for your future kids apart from blaming every living thing around you? Hating people who live abroad is envy and can never be disguised as patriotism regardless of how you try.

Oh boy, you are toxic![/s]

Garbage.
Keep crying more than the bereaved

coolsegun2002:
Get ready my friend....they are coming for you..

Beedude:
If this get to FP. OP just take cover. FBI or US Army can't rescue u.

That Lagos Ibadan expressway aspect make me laugh hard

Bennysam:
Those evening Newspaper here is coming for you , I no dey

MrHighSea:
i forsee e-missiles and e-nuclear warheads from vagina people.

hope you gat a bunker.

Don't give these vagina-losers more credit than they deserve.
..because they rant like toothless chihuahuas thinking they are "savage"

gaius01:
Arrrrrrrh



You see what am talking about? Davido is just a fortunate rich son who lacks decorum thinking he can paved his way to get / do anything simply because of his money and fame.

Always hitting the headlines for wrong reasons. Going around defaming his reputation.

I only pity the boys/guys/men looking up to him as a role model.

Mode WWE

Facts

etrange:
You're just being unnecessarily rude to someone you know nothing about.

There's nothing rude about what I said. Your mind is corrupt and that's why you read my words as rude.

What have said is nothing but the truth.

His experience is completely irrelevant to most young people of today.

All he does is go around bragging about the 30 years he spent abroad. Why not ask him why he didn't spend his youth in Nigeria?

Nonsense.

CuteMercury:
And by the way the bitter truth is that though it is said that both burna and Davido they are in the same cult ( which i don't know if it's true or not) but common sense should tell Davido that burna boy might already have an affiliation with the Illuminati.

So even the cult leaders of the cult they are still very careful with burna boy because the more you look the less you see.

They should let peace reign and settle their score, i love both of them but something in me tells me burna boy might already has an affiliation with the Illuminati and if i am right.

Davido might get Killed and nothing will happen to burna boy.

Only few people understand what I'm talking about.

Davido is probably occultic too.. don't get it twisted.

This guy is a money-miss road.
A rich agbero.
A wailing frogg.
Surrounded by yes men who might all secretly hate him due to his arrogance.
His "boys" are only there for the money - that's all.

Beverlyjean:
U must b from the village...u are super dumb

I said "allegedly" madam.

...but it seems you are an "alleged" 30bg stan. Hoping one day omo Baba olowo (froggy OBO ) will grace your poverty-stricken pockets with some giveaway coinz

I said "allegedly" ooo. don't sacrifice me abeg

A mistake a lot of mothers make (especially single mothers) is consciously or unconsciously raising their little boy(s) into son-Husbands (Husband-son Hybrid)

What is a Son-Husband?
A male child who has been tasked to, not only be the son of the family, but also act as a stand-in male companion for the mother.

A woman is bound to become increasingly bitter and overbearing when she has no male companion of her own year after year - and this is often the case of a woman laden with the responsibility of raising a child alone. She will find out the hard way that most baggage-free men of value will never settle with a woman raising another man's seed.

Therefore as she gets older, the pains of loneliness and sexual frustration leads her into a bitter destructive path, she becomes overly clingy to her son (who would gradually back away and distance himself from her overbearing clutches).

The distance between them will fester on for years as she grows even more bitter watching the below scenarios unfold:

1. Her son reconnects with his father - the man whom she claims jilted her, abandoned his child and subjected her to a miserable life of single-motherhood.
Sadly, whether she likes it or not, a man will always have the desire to know his father and hear his side of the story irrespective of whatever lies you may have brainwashed him with in his youth.

2. Watching her son give another woman (his wife or girlfriend) everything!
Now this is what pains her the most. Wherever you see wives and mother in laws clashing, in most cases, it is as a result of this - a single mother has invested all her time, love and affection in singlehandedly raising her son, believing that he will value her for the rest of his life but reality is often a far cry!
In my observation, most mother-son relationships are sustained by aggressive and desperate efforts of the mother reaching out to her son. It is seldom the other way round.
The worst part is if she allows jealousy override her sense of rationality and decides to make an enemy of her son's choice of a spouse, she bears the risk of losing him completely because he would most likely choose his woman over his mother who probably raised him to always overvalue the female gender - this is a notion that she didn't realise would backfire on her once her son falls in love.

Uncle93:
Why you dey shine ur stinking teeth to me 8.31am ? Why arrrgh! Nairaland don see me finish

Why are you responding at 8.32am? Bobrisky