₦airaland Forum

Michaelcas:
yes, keep the website from him and keep advicing him

i wish you happiness in your marriage

Thank you so much!
I really really appreciate you!!

If I will continue to hiding this website from him, is that bad things? Bad secret?

error4040:
Hello 平和な
We are all fine staying put hoping the virus would go Soon.
How are you doing, and hope you are doing great ?.



Asking your husband about his Salary is NEVER a Taboo not only In Nigeria but the whole world in general.
If he is really honest and Explicit (open minded) theirs nothing to be Sad about just because you asked him about his financial Affairs.
Keep the courage and ask him Why he felt sad because you asked about his salary
He needs to explain to you because you are his wife and you have the Right to do that.

I'm happy to hear that
Please keep in safe!
I'm good too. Thank you!
Many peoples feeling fed up about this virus.

Last time, he went back to Nigeria like emergency.
He asked me about borrow money.
His plan was stay there very short time.
But he stayed 2months and almost lose his work again.
This happened made me decide to ask him about his money.

Since long time ago, I tried to tell him about start business and save money many many times.
Not for me. But for himself and his life.
If he could have side business and he could save money, anytime he go to Nigeria is not problem.
He don't need to worry about lose work or buy air ticket.

I'm trying to save money little by little.
Not easy for me because my money is not big money. But I'm trying.
He is making money at least times 3 than me. Why he can't do that?

So I told him that I know I have no right to tell him how to use his money.
But I'm still his wife, I maybe have right to know about what happened his money like if he sending money for someone etc.
He said yes but sometimes.
He doesn't tell me who receiving that money.
I told him that's good if he has money and if he can help his family and friends who need help.
I will do same thing if I had enough money.
But he still always saying he don't have money.
Sometimes asking me borrow money.
That's no problem.
If I could help or assist him, I must do that.
But help him and assist him is affecting my savings he knows that.
What will happen with us if we can't work again and no savings.
I'm really worry about that.

So I explained him that his life is first.
If he had no money, he should not sending money for someone and when he has money, he can send them and assist them.
I know if loved one need help, ignore it is very difficult and very hurt.
But I'm not talking about ignore them or don't help them.

Maybe that my talk made him angry?
If not taboo, maybe my how to talk with him made him feel so bad.
Or maybe I was too much talking.

Anyway, I'm sorry for long long writing and disturbing you over and over again.
Thank you so much always giving me advice.
I really really appreciate you.

Michaelcas:
I know this isn't meant for me but no, it's no taboo, a married couple ought to know each other's in and out, nothing to hide in marriage

Thank you so much!
I appreciate you!!

Maybe how I asked him is made him feel so bad.
But I wanted him to know that his life is first.
Helping family and friends is very good.
But someone who don't have money, but sending money to help other person is not good.
I'm very difficult to understand that.

I'm still hiding about joined this website from him and I don't wanna tell him.
This is my secret

error4040:
Sorry what i mean was three of them sleeping in one room sounded like porn scene, i did not mean they were having threes0me.

You said he do pay your Rent and he told you in nigeria he sleep in a room with 4 other people ?
when next you talk to him Ask him what is he doing with the salary he earn from his job in japan since he sound like he is not sending to his relative in nigeria

Hello, error4040!
How are you and your family today?
I hope everybody is good and keep in safe!

Please, I wanna ask you about this your advice.
Ask about husband's salary is not taboo in your culture?

When I asked him, he got feel so bad.
I don't know why.
I maybe talked too much or how I asked him is too bad?
Or taboo?

Beautiful

mansakhalifa:
Oh yeah, so I read yesterday...

No wonder he fell completely from the political radar.

Oh! Really?!
You already read it!

When I was young, I really didn't interest about politics.
I believed everybody is same, nothing change etc.
I didn't even go to vote.
This was very bad about me!

But I still remember Koizumi and I know something what Koizumi did it when he was Prime Minister

mansakhalifa:
I was in primary school when I first heard the name Shinzo Abe. In fact, he was a common feature on TIME magazine back then. I was always reading about him.

That tells you how far back he goes.

But where is Junichiro Koizumi these days though? Those were the guys who rocked Japanese politics in those times. It was either Shinzo Abe or Koizumi on the pages of TIME, Newsweek,etc etc etc in those times.

Koizumi was PM at the time, I recall.

Koizumi is already retired from politics.
But his second son (Shinjiro Koizumi) is minister of the environment now

Hathor5:
This is very kind of you.
I will google these names and get back to you. Thank you.

You are welcome!!
If they are not what you looking for, Please let me know!
I will continue to search it!

Michaelcas:
You're welcome sister, yeah their aim is always money or permanent passport, we should all be careful

peace sister

Thank you so much!
I learned about love scammer.

Yes! Everybody should be careful.
I think I'm in safe!
Because I'm married person

Anyway, Thank you so much!
I really appreciate you!!

Michaelcas:
Oh yeah, you can't differentiate between a scammer and an honest person, for people who do online dating: when you fall for someone online, he/she confesses his/her love for you and all, things tend to go normal for some time, you guys videocall, text yourselves etc. You guys even fight like real people do in relationships, with all that, you're convinced he/she is real.

But note, whenever he starts complaining of his business or his being sick or anything, and he directly or indirectly make reference to money, suggesting or hoping you can suggest send him some cash to his account or to any account, then it 99.8% means he's a scammer, BLOCK HIM/HER immediately. Because only a very little number of people has the balls to ask of financial assistance from someone they are deeply in love with

Thank you for take your time.
I learned a lot from you!
I appreciate you!!

Their sign is money?

About 3weeks ago, love scammer arrested in Japan.
I and my husband always discussion about it whenever we heard kind of news.
He always said victim is fool

Maybe victims thought they are very close friends, maybe already fell in love etc.
I don't know what is wrong if tried to help their family, friend, boyfriend or girlfriend etc?
I really can't think about victims are fool.
I think they just trusted that scammer and wanted help them.

Like me, I want my loved one to tell me when they face problem, getting weak, feel so down etc.
Because I really don't want them to suffering alone.
So I always tell my husband that if I'm victim's situation, I will do same thing like them.

If already trust someone, I think very difficult to ignore that person when they need help
But I think victims always sent a lot of money.
Not small small money.
And their damage is not only money.
They got heartbreak

Anyway, Thank you so much!
I really appreciate you!!

Michaelcas:
I don't think you would know a scammer when you meet one until you're scammed if you ain't careful

hence you got so much wrong info, and you're actually generalizing a country of over 200million people with different views and belief, that's like saying everyone in Al Queda is a born terrorist

Hello, I know this is not reply to me.

But Please How can I know if someone is scammer?
There have something like sign? or words?

placeofallure:
You're welcome ma'am.
And Yes! Kudos means good job.

Thank you so much for take your time again!
I really really appreciate you!!

I learned new English again.
Thank you!!

Please always take good care of yourself and your family!
And Please keep in safe!

Have a wonderful day
Thank you sooooo much!!!

uchman:
Japan thread is very dull, few posts just because no one volunteers to help others...

Wow.....
This is very heartbreaking.

Many peoples wrote their advice and sharing information on here.
Please, you want them to write same thing over and over again?

I even used my time to called immigration for you.
Because I wanted help you.
I sent you messages to inform about that.
But you are ignoring my messages.
Maybe my information was useless or meaningless.

Please, Why are you saying no one volunteer to help others?

Or I misunderstanding your English?
If I'm misunderstanding you, I'm very sorry.

placeofallure:
Don't lose confidence in your ability to learn English. Infact, kudos to you because your English has improved overtime. Keep trying to get better, knowledge gained is never wasted.

I'm more concerned about your marital issues with your husband. I couldn't go through the entire pages. But I hope you have resolved your challenges now. Everyone deserves to be happy in life. I hope you will find a real, lasting happiness. Cheers!

Thank you so much!
I appreciate you!!

I once lost confidence about my English
I'm still not have confidence.
But I'm ok now!
I'm not feel so down now and I will not feel down again!

Kudos is meaning like good job?

My marriage is ok now.
I stopped thinking about too much.
But something still not solve it.

My problem is when I tried to talk with him about our issue, if I see his face is angry or his voice is loud, I can't tell him my feel or thinking.
He always tell me that I don't need to care about if he is angry or not.
He said I should tell him what I'm thinking or my feel.
He is a good person!

But once I see he is angry or feel bad, I can't continue to talk.
If I asked him why he got angry or shout at me, he always deny it.
But I can see his anger and I don't wanna make him more angry.
Not his fault. My fault. My bad.

We are still together!
But still separate living.
Very calm now
I have peace of mind now and I hope he also have peace of mind now.

Thank you so much!
I really really appreciate you!!

JustEdward:
I got tired oh, because I haven’t seen any Nigeria student there in Japan as I heard their Visa is very tedious

Why?
What made you tired?
I have seen Nigerian student on this topic.

What is bad or wrong if Japan visa is very tedious?
Please I want you to teach me!
I wanna learn from you.

Hathor5:
History. A legend.

Happy Sunday to you too.

Hello, Hathor5
How are you today?

I checked about cat and samurai.

You read about Shimazu Yoshihiro?
He brought 7cats to battle.
Or Toyotomi Hideyoshi?
He had cat.

Or another story?

Hathor5:
History. A legend.

Happy Sunday to you too.

Thank you!!

Oh! Ok!
Sorry, I don't know about that
I will check it and tell you

Kingjite:
Your contribution madam Peaceful is so great,forget the fact that your English is not very good the most important thing is that you want to learn the language, one more thing Ma,i saw u post and i most confess your heart is Golden.

Oh! I saw this now.
I'm sorry for late reply.

I will not give up learning English
And I really hope I have golden heart!
Thank you so much!
I really appreciate you!!

Hathor5:
You're welcome!

You are Japanese, right?

I once heard a tale/legend about a cat and a samurai but I can't find it again. Do you know it?

Yes! I'm Japanese.
Nice to meet you and Happy Sunday from Japan

About cat and samurai is histroy? or TV drama?

majisuka:
Finally had my first plate of Jollof Rice at African Home Touch, Roppongi. There's a lot of other West African (almost all of them are Nigerian and Ghanaian dishes) to choose from but too bad I wasn't in a mood of very adventurous options like egusi or pepper stews with eba sides. I guess it's kinda authentic because the owner is a Ghanaian and she told me that the Nigerian version isn't that far off than its Ghanaian counterpart. For someone unfamiliar with it, the jollof plate itself tasted like a smoky Nasi Goreng (Indonesian black fried rice) with some hint of tomato paste . Would definitely come back if I have chance or happen to be around Roppongi to sample the stews though.

[img]https:///65535/50247359796_09617338a7_z.jpg[/img]

Looks delicious!!

Long long time I didn't visit Roppongi
I wanna try to go to one Nigerian restaurant in Shinjuku one day.
When I searched Nigerian restaurant in Tokyo, I'm always see that restaurant.

I wanna take my husband to that restaurant

I love cat!
I love animals

Thank you for sharing this!
I appreciate you!!

blingxx:
Why is japan so fvcked up like this ,too many weird sh*t in that country

Some peoples are really weird
Many type of hentai in Japan.

Zoharariel:
Bunch of filthy cowards! They bombed you and still have you under subjugation 75years after - in the name of ties & treaties; subtly rubbing your humiliating defeat in WW2 in your ugly faces - even as she continues to re-inscribes her military victory over you as a means to drastically curtail your quest for vengeance & retaliation.

These Sushi-eating bastards should have marked this 75th anniversary by turning New York, Chicago, California, Washington, Texas & Pennsylvania into nuclear wastelands, inorder to send the incorrigible & belligerent children of Belial in the United States of Taliban a strong message that reads:

Remember, Remember, the fifth of November 1945, the Gunpowder Treason and Plot.

I know of no reason why the Atomic Treason should ever be forgot.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF1951pENdk

I trust Hitler & Stalin. Awon omo pau bii ibon.

By now, the United States of Taliban would have become an empty football field - with every goddamn POW and their families speaking either Dutch or Russian.

Or did these bastards not know that WW2 was a continuation of WW1?

https://onlineessays.com/essays/history/was-world-war-2-a-continuation-of-world-war-1.php

Please what is made you hate Japan and Japanese?
Ugly face made you calling Japanese coward and bastard?
Or war history? Culture?

Please if not disturbing you or bothering you, I really wanna know and I really wanna understand what made you hate and insult Japan and Japanese.

Please I want you to teach me and I wanna learn from you!

TheDarkGamer:
It's not clear though but that's Roxxy.

I can see her!
Please say hi to your beautiful babies

TheDarkGamer:
Don't stress yourself too much. You'll master English very soon at the pace you're going. Just keep striving.
Glad to know Nairaland has helped you learn about Nigeria. Well, about visiting Nigeria, I hope you'll find it interesting if you ever get to come.

My kittens (Roxxy and Raven, their names), are doing better and are warming up to me. Thanks for all the help.

Thank you so much!
I really appreciate you!!

If I could visit Nigeria one day, I really wish I get to ride a keke and I wanna visit market!
I watched it on YouTube many times.
I love it!

I'm happy that your babies are doing better!!
They are getting to know about you day by day

TheDarkGamer:
You have no problem. I can understand you well and I also understand your suggestions too. You've been very helpful and you are a life saver.

Wow, you're married to a Nigerian? That's amazing. Never mind, just keep trying with your English, you'll get there. It won't be easy for me to start speaking or writing japanese ( just as you are learning English now) so don't get to worried if you aren't speaking well now, keep learning.

How have you found the forum? Has it been helpful?

Thank you so much!
I appreciate you!!

Yes, I'm married to a Nigerian man.
This website is very very helpful to me!
When I needed help, many peoples helped me!!
I'm still learning many things from here.
I really hope I can visit Nigeria one day

My English is really terrible.
Speaking English is more terrible than writing English.
I can't even pronounce what I'm writing
I can't read and write without dictionary.
But I will not give up!

Japanese is also difficult.

I hope this your message is to me?
Or I misunderstanding?
Anyway, what about your babies(your kitten) now?

error4040:
You have contributed towards his problem.
I dont know much about Japan but I seem to notice you are always apologetic even when it's not necessary.

@OP follow her advice she knows what shes talking about.

@peacefull Keep up the good work

Oh!! Really?!
Necessary?
My English is still bad.
I still can't explain well in English
I really don't wanna be rude to anyone.
I really don't wanna make angry or feel bad to anyone.
But my English can make someone angry or feel bad. Very possible.

My talking about cats is maybe meaningless or useless and I maybe wasting his time.
That's so bad!

Cats also have life like a human.
So I don't wanna give any wrong advice.
I really really don't wanna make risk for their life.
How I wished I can explain very well in English

Anyway, Thank you so much!
You are a really really my good friend!!
I really really really appreciate you!!
Thank you soooooo much!!!!

TheDarkGamer:
Thanks for the advice, you've been truly helpful. Never mind your English, it's not perfect but I can still understand you very well. Besides mandarin is your natural language, right?

How did you find this forum though? I mean with you being japanese.

Thank you so much!
I appreciate you!!
My language is Japanese.

I wanted to know about Nigeria and Nigerian peoples especially about marriage and culture.
I had to understand my husband more.
I really needed help.
I searched where I can know and I can learn about it.
Then I found out here!

femekpe:
I love this

Thank you so much!
I appreciate you!!

TheDarkGamer:
Thanks.
I think I know their feeding pattern now and what they like to eat.

They aren't getting any closer to me though. I'll heed your advice and let them get accustomed to me first. Today is their fourth day with me, so I'll let them be for about two weeks.

The smell though, I don't know if I'm meant to bathe or clean them. They don't stink though but they have this particular smell.

Spaying and neutering is common in Nigeria. But they are females, does that work on them too?

Also since I've gotten them, I've put them in their cages and only brought them out once to cut their claws and pet them but they just run away from me and hide in all kinds of places. So should I just leave them in their cages until they start to like me?

I'm happy now!
You know their food

Fourth day with you?
I think they are getting know about you.
Cats also have character.
So some cats take long time, some cats not take long time.

What about just open their cage and watch them?
Maybe they will come out little by little by themselves?
When they hide, give them time.
After some time, what about play with them?
Use like string? You can keep distance but if they like it, you can play with them.

When they are hungry, what about bring them food?
Keep distance and watch them?
I know some cats refuse to eat food.
But at least they are eating now?

Some peoples bath them, brush their teeth etc.
They are kitten, but not too small like a baby?

Yes.
In my country, spaying is very common.
You need to ask about it veterinarian who knows and can treat cats very well.

I really hope you and they will close to each other soon!!

If my talking is meaningless or useless, I'm very sorry.

TheDarkGamer:
Thanks for the advice.

Well, I got them on Thursday and today is Sunday. I still keep them in a cage but today was the first time I brought them out. I had their nails cut and tried petting them and stroking their fur. They still try to bite me and they hiss furiously. However, when I finished cutting their claws today, I put them on my lap and tried petting and stroking it from the back (not the front of their face). They hissed and tried to escape but I kept a firm hold on them. Due to the fear, they always shiver when I pet and stroke them but I hope in the following days, they'll start to recognize me.

I have a vet check them this week but is it necessary to neuter them as they are both females?

Also what kind of food do they love most?

How do I introduce my scent to them?

Lastly, anything to stop the biting?

Oh! Ok!
But I think touch them like that is still early
Need more time.
Hiss and shiver is proof.
They are still not make sure if they are in safe or you are not their enemy.

I meant not touch them from upside now is from face(head)side.
And from back side, also not good now.
Now they are trying to bite you is I think they are defending.

Before you trying to touch them, they also need time to know where is their safe place now.
They need to know about their home now.
They maybe will hide, but just give them time.
They will come out from hide place little by little and check that place(your house)by themselves.
When time will come, they will come close to you.
When they will try to come close and wanna check you, hold out your hand or a finger but keep distance, they maybe will try to smell it first.

Please just give them more time.
If you did something they don't want it now, they will remember you like a mean person

About food, cats also like a human.
I mean every cats have different character.
You will know what is their favorite food.
But I think cat food is best food for them.
Because everything calculated about nutrition for cats.

Keep their good health is one of most important owner of pet's responsibility.
So Please if you had time, I want you to check which food is like poison for cat before you give them food.

In my country, neuter and spay is very common.
Reduce in heat, risk of some sick, unwanted pregnancy, marking etc.
I don't know about Nigeria
Is there not common?