₦airaland Forum

Mizwisdom:
Please try to ignore that small boy called homeboiy, pay him no attention, he's of no value to you, you won't believe he's still a teenager who you can send on errand or use as your houseboy so please don't respond to him, me I won't reduce myself to that

Back to the matter, yes I'm talking of polygamy. Before your husband travelled abroad he has already told himself that he will marry a citizen abroad for papers, so that he won't be illegal in your country. This doesn't mean that he can't truly fall in love but it might not have been in his initial plan. It's not unusual for him to have left a spouse back home with the promise that he will work and send money home, this didn't start today. My only advice is to do what will make you feel less guilty. Try to meet his real extended family and make friends with his Nigerian friends, amongst them you will find those who will expose him to you (all depends on how down to earth you are) and you can make whatever decision you like afterwards

I'm sorry. I can't ignore him. Make feel bad for someone is very bad. He tried to give me advice. But I made him feel so bad and angry. That is very very bad. I never meant made him feel so bad. But I did it. My bad.

About my husband, I know he had a girlfriend before came to Japan. I doubt about her before. I know some his friends. One of his friend is very good person. One day he came to our house. When my husband said something to me, that friend warned him and told him not good what he said to me. He was not always his side. But He is not in Japan anymore. I'm still appreciate him. I know many his friends are like my husband. They are go back to Nigeria without Japanese wife and stay in Nigeria more than 1month. Some guys stay in Nigeria 3months or more. Not for business. And some guys lost work in Japan not one time. Yet they do same thing again. I really can't understand. Working is not Important for them? I know they need or wanna go to Nigeria. Because their family and friends are in Nigeria. But what about Japanese wife and their kids? Are they not their family? That is I'm always wonder.
About meet his family is difficult to me. Almost 15years not see them. I have no expect about that.
Thank you so much for advice me. I'm appreciate you.

Homeboiy:
I asked you those questions because I wanted to give u an answer from my igbo point of view but you and that useless idiot Mizwisdom are seeing my question as an insult.

As foolish as she is, she said men cheat a lot, maybe his father cheats a lot but please don't let her make u hate your husband.

I can no longer tell u what's on my mind cos I am angry

I'm really so sorry for I made you feeling so bad. I'm apologize you.
I never think your question is insult. I just really wanted know your thinking about my marriage. Because I was expecting maybe I can get advice from you. But I never had think about my age and child gender have something wrong with my marriage before. I never had idea like that. So I was really like to know and wanted get advice from you. I never meant made you feel so bad and angry.
I'm really so sorry.
But Thank you so much. I'm appreciate you.

Homeboiy:
It's pidgin language

Pidgin language? My husband is Igbo man. I know little Igbo language. But I don't know how to write and read. I thought Igbo language.
Anyway, Thank you so much.

error4040:
LoL for the Record Am 27yewrs Old and am Among those rear GEN that have a Thing For MILFS (Don't ask me why, because me my self I just don't know & Don't care) I guess Am FETISH.
And please am Not having Crush or anything Related to you.

And About Your Age and child Gender Well mostly Men from East Do prefer Male child, but still that's not an excuse to treat ones wife badly or cheat because of her Age

and About you're Reply to him, Just because you prefer to keep Your personal information Confidential do not sound like you're Rude to Him. LoL but you're Reply was funny

I checked meaning MILFS I didn't know that English. I had learn new English. Thank you!
Male child is Important from East Nigerian men? What about female child?
My reply is funny? I'm worry about if I'm rude.

Homeboiy:
Are you mad?

Did I ask you?

Tafia kee u there

Please don't be angry. I'm sorry If I made you feel bad and asked you like rude person.
She gave me advice and I'm really appreciate her.
Anyway, What do you mean Tafia kee u there? Is that Igbo language?

Mizwisdom:
Please don't mind him. Nigerian men cheat a lot and they'll still try to blame you for it. It's the same reason for that question, he wants to blame your age or your child's gender for your husband's attitude. Personally, I think your husband has a family here in Nigeria, it's not your fault, many do it here to Nigerian women too, they do it because it's easy to make excuses for this lifestyle. Only few who don't involve themselves in double lifestyle, those ones are the principled ones and they are not many. Its your choice to love your husband but don't let anyone blame you for his bad attitude.

Thank you for advice me. I'm appreciate you.
That person wanna blame me about my age or my child gender?! I never ever imagine that.
I think I was not good wife for him. Many times I had quarrel with him before. We couldn't understand for each other well before. Sometimes very little misunderstand made for big problem. We also had talk about divorce in the past. I think marriage is need love, respect, understand, care, something like that for each other. But sometimes We couldn't have it for each other. So if he leave me, not only his fault. I think my fault.
Double life style is polygamy? or cheating? Many Nigerian men do it for Nigerian women? If Nigerian woman married with Nigerian man and he also married in abroad, She knows about that or She don't know?
I'm sorry for my poor English and asking you many questions.

Mizwisdom:
What type of question is this?

Maybe have reason and I really like to know.
Anyway Thank you so much.

error4040:
now this is A Good Reply

@peacefull kindly keep your Identity confidential.

I know I'm old and I know many guys like young ladys. But I never imagine that my age and child gender is problem for my marriage. I wrote my age before and also wrote I can't say my child gender before. So I can tell my age. But I can't tell my child gender.
Maybe that person (Sorry, I don't know man or woman) have reason for asked me about that. I like to know why asked me about that

My reply is rude for that person?

Homeboiy:
How old are you?

Is your child boy or girl?

I'm 39 years old.
About my child, I can't answer your question. I'm sorry.
My age and my child gender is something problem with my marriage? Or someone who is your member of family married with like me?
Or someone who is your family or friend married with Nigerian man living in Japan?
If not disturb or bother you, Please Can you tell me why you asked me about that ?

error4040:
About Joining this website, just keep it a secret


We know your English is not that Good, you are improving at least unlike before



i just hope he won't one day wake up then tell you he is coming to Nigeria and that would be the last time you would see Him.
their much to live for in this life than your current situation.
and try not to hurt your self over someone that do not appriciate You.

Lastly do you Believe in God or you are Shinto, Why am asking is I noticed Most Japanese are Shinto or Buddhist.

Thank you for advice me.
I will not tell him about this Website.
If he will leave me one day, I hope he will tell me before that. I really hope he is not kind of wicked person. He is very stubborn person. He knows that and his friend also said it to me before. He told me his family also know that. So if he decide to leave me, I know nobody can stop him. Thank you for your care. I'm really appreciate you.

About God, I think I'm Shinto. Why I said I think is because every my member of family's grave is in Temple. Any of memorial service is Buddhist memorial service in Temple where have grave. We also have Buddhist altar in the house. But I think I'm not Buddhist.

You are very right. Most Japanese are Shinto or Buddhist. But some peoples are Christian. I have nobody who is Muslim. But I saw one Japanese woman who is Muslim in hospital. Muslim is maybe not many in Japan. I'm not sure. But I know have Mosque in Japan and some place care for Muslim peoples like Restaurant and Hotel. We also have many Church in Japan. Japanese are celebrate on Christmas. But most of them are not Christian. Many peoples put cross accessories. But most of them are not Christian. I know that is very strange.

error4040
I told him I'm ready for hear the truth and I will not angry or get mad. I explained him how my feel and what is made me doubt him. If he is married in Nigeria, I really wanted him to confession me. But he always say No. I never tell him I joined this Website. I just told him I have learned many things about Nigeria on internet. Then I told him that his doing and how he treat me is like someone who have a wife in Nigeria. I even told him that I can understand if he has a wife and kids in Nigeria.

I was so hurt and didn't wanna allow it at that time. I never wanted to share him with another woman at that time. But I have changed my mind. I told him I can understand that if he don't want another wife, but if his parents want him to marry with Nigerian woman, maybe he have to marry in Nigeria. I tried to think about what is his parents generation think about marriage. Then I was feeling like maybe our marriage is not good for them. I was feeling like our marriage is maybe only between me and him.
I'm so sorry I can't explain well.

I still don't know what will happen with my mind again if he will tell me he is married in Nigeria. But We can still laughing together. I don't know why. We had many many quarrel and bad times in the past. Sometimes We talked about divorce. But always not bad relationship and still can laughing together.

error4040:
Am Fine.
Good to hear you're still with Him, But did you confront him about if truly he had a wife back here in Nigeria ?

Yes. I asked him and sometimes I'm still asking him. I wrote it on my page.

error4040:
Hello, long time. hope you're doing fine?
did you later resolve your issue with your husband ??

Hello! Yes, long time. I'm good Thank you
How about you?
Thank you for gave me advice at that time. I'm really appreciate. I'm still with him.

sonsonny:
It's not related to a Nigerian culture. The problem is in your relationship, but only Lord knows, how to solve it.

I was feeling like something wrong my marriage and doubt him. I thought different culture is made me misunderstanding him at that time. I wanted and needed know more about his culture. So if I can understand him more, we can make more good relationship. That's why I wanted know about Nigerian culture and about marriage in Nigeria. That was what my feelings at that time.
Anyway, Thank you so much for advice. I'm sorry for my poor English. I can't explain well.

twosquare:
All right. Thanks for the feedback. Stay safe and strong.

Thank you so much for gave me advice that time. I'm really appreciate. I'm not so hurt now

Very cute

dlw09:
1-2 times a month, many couples don’t even make love

This has also led to a slowdown in the number of new populations in East Asian countries.

Yes. Many married peoples don't have make love. But not everybody. Many peoples have more than 1 or 2 times of a month.

About population, I think not because of sexless. Have kids is not so easy in Japan now.

Thank you for everyone who gave me advice. I'm appreciate. I'm sorry for very late to say Thank you.
I'm still with him. But still not living together. Because of his work. I asked him about if he has a wife and kids in Nigeria. I was not angry or mad when I asked. I was trying to calm down and told him I have learned about Nigerian cultures and marriage. I even tried to explain about how my feel and thinking. I told him that I can understand if he married in Nigeria. But his answer is No. Sometimes I still ask him about that and telling him I can understand. But he always say No and that is my mindset. I was so hurt when many peoples told me that he is married in Nigeria. But I really appreciate for everyone who gave me advice and taught me about Nigerian cultures and marriage. My feeling is changed when I was getting fine from hurt. I told him one day I wanna try to live my life. He was laughing and not take serious and said Ok. I tried to make money. I got second work. But after sometime I got sick and lost main work. But still not give up. I already gave up many things like have a baby with him. Something like that. I don't hate him. I can't. Even if he is married and has kids in Nigeria, I can't hate him. Because I know he is a good person. How he treat me bad is doesn't matter. I just can't hate him. I still wanna know the truth from him. But I don't wanna always doubt him and feeling like hurt. That's why I need to try to live my life. I think I'm little bit move on. I'm sorry for my English. My English is still very poor. I'm really appreciate everyone who made me try to move. I'm not so hurt now! I'm sorry if I made irritated for everyone.

TheManOfTheYear:
Nice to know.
Well that's how most villages here are. There is lack of electricity or good network connection. But that shouldn't stop him from calling you even once or twice a week.
My suggestion is that you should ask him when he will be back to Japan. That's the main issue

Thank you so much!
He will be back on middle of next month what he told me b/4 he left. I don't know any details.
This time is very hard time to me.I'm so confusing since when many peoples told me he is married in Nigeria. Trusting him is difficult now. Bcoz many peoples can connecting in here(Nailarand). Why only him can't connect to his mail? I wanna trust him.but what he said and doing are making me doubt him. I know this my thinking is too bad for him.

TheManOfTheYear:
You really don't have to narrate every bit that transpired.

I would love to hear feedback about your future conversations with him. Let's see if the marriage is improving or heading to the rocks

Hi. How are you? I hope you are fine!
He dropped message to me.bcoz I couldn't answer the phone.He said no light in there. I tried to understand him b/4 when he told me same thing.I sent him a mail about more than 10days ago.he was no reply and no call me since when I spoke him last time.I tried to sent him a mail again.then he called me and dropped a message.what kind of place more than 10days w/o light? Village?is so difficult to trust his words by this time.if he go back to Nigeria, take contact is so difficult. He always say no money and no light.that's why he can't call me and send me a mail.is there have kind of places?

darkid1:
You seem a really great and wonderful person...

Geez, love is scary .

Tell him what you typed here . Tell him even if he is married in Nigeria and you are not accusing him that he is, you still want to make things work with him.

You might just be suprised at how he opens up .

Nigerian marriages have ups and downs . And I can tell you (thought I'm not married ) , many people just stay in the marriage cause if their kids . If this is how you truely feel, then what you guys have is beautiful.


Cheers .

Happy New Year!
Thank you for advised me.

I really wanted have kind of relationship with him.
I asked him b/4, why I can't get happy with husband? why no one good thing can't have it with husband? what is wrong if I wanna hang out with him like dating? what is wrong if I wanna be happy with him? etc.
I blamed him so much and I made him feel so bad.I was talk like somebody forgot what did it b/4.
That is my mistake. My heart was poor @ that time.bcoz I forgot what he still with me.
Many times he tried to make me happy.
I must thankful for him.

I know everybody have different marriage style.and everybody have good times and bad times.sometimes I really tired acting like I'm happy front of him.
Now we are separate living. once I see him,I try to keep my smile. Bcoz no good to have quarrel when we meet. I wanna have good time with him.In fact, Im feeling like lonely and I can't rely(relies?) on him. Maybe bcoz of I'm selfish.
Maybe I'm tired to tell him my feel. Maybe I have no expect about him.
But I'm sure I'm still love him.
That's why I'm still looking for how to make more good relationship with him.
I don't know if he want too or not.

adebayo3449:
May God be with you

Thank you so much!

kristen12:
I feel really bad for you after going through the whole post.

The truth is bitter and hard to accept most times but the earlier you accept it, the better for you. Please listen to the advices above.

I really hope you move on with your life and find happiness.

Please be fine for us.
Pele my dear.

Happy New Year!
Thank you for advised me.

I think I'm beginning to move now.
That's why I came here(Nairaland).
This is my first step.
Next is I have to talk with him face to face.

Yes.
Sometimes truth is so hurt.
I'm so scary now.
I know that if I will ask him about he is married in Nigeria, he will feel so bad and maybe will angry with me.
But I think I have right to ask him truth.
So I will try to find out truth.
I'm listening every advised for me and I'm appreciate for all of them who gave me advice.
I'm feeling like I have especially Nigerian friends.
Even feeling like I'm not alone.
Thank you so much.
Pls just give me more time.

TheManOfTheYear:
You really don't have to narrate every bit that transpired.

I would love to hear feedback about your future conversations with him. Let's see if the marriage is improving or heading to the rocks

I really hope I can get more good relationship with him and more understand for each other.

I will tell you when after I will have discussion with him.

TheManOfTheYear:
What you and your man have is lack of communication. Though I ain't married but I believe a couple must understand each other to have a successful marital life.

You two should come to an agreement regarding finances and the likes. Maybe you should work too because you're interested not pregnant nor disabled. Don't you think?
Who knows, perhaps he came down to Naija because he wasn't making enough money in Japan?
And he felt you're a burden. After all you two don't have biological children.

Lastly,you're 38, which means you're still able to conceive. So I'd advise you to try and get pregnant for him to improve the bond between you two. No African man like being childless. We love and value children. We don't joke with it

I'm working.
I didn't work more than 5years b/4.
I lost work bcoz of I got sick and why I didn't wanna work @ that time is kind of mean back to him.
I also paying to life since when I married unless I didn't have work.
He demanded me to pay more than my wage.
So I worked daytime and sometimes went to night work after finished daytime work b/4 I got sick.
I told him that is so hard to me and nobody can pay for more than wage.
When my money is finished, I always ask him to pay.
Then when had discussion about money, he always said he is paying more than me.
Yes. Is true. But if I didn't ask him, he just ignored. even if he saw our food is no more.
Can you imagine that how much my feel like miserable.
I was crying over and over when I told him.
That's why I stopped look for work after my sick is gone @ that time.
Bcoz I knew that if I'm working, just make for his playing money.
And @ that time when I worked, I asked him if my situation is you, How will you pay? teach me how to do, I will try! that I said.
And I gave him very simple question that somebody have 10 and have to pay20. like that.
He said can't do that.
Took 2years to get that answer.
So I thought we solve.
But when I started work, he do again.
What I'm using my money to life.
I can only use for myself is buy tobacco.
(Sorry! I'm smoking tobacco woman.)
And since when I married, my mom is save our life.
She bringing food for us till now.
He also helped my mom b/4.
But which one is more? Answer is my mom!
She always worry about my condition and worry about my child(her grand child).
I'm feel so sorry about my mom.
What about now?
Same like b/4.
He will not pay any money for our life in this month.
And I told him that I can't pay everythings when I heard his travel plan.
How can somebody can't go to hospital and can't buy enough food have to pay everythings who have a healthy husband?
If I always wasting money for buy expensive dresses,shoes,bag, whatever like that, I can understand how much he don't wanna pay, how much feel so bad, how much he don't wanna care.
But I have no money to get luxury things.
Even I didn't go hung out.
I bought his socks,underwear when I found out getting old or wear out after my pay day instead of buy own.

I never demand him to give me luxury life.
I just wanna have normal life.
Sometimes I just wanna have dating with him as like normal wife and husband.
I don't wanna have feel like miserable.

What can I do for him again about money?
I stopped talk about money.
I just begging him to help me.
That i'm doing now.

So miserable...
But I think marriage is not for only money.

Lexmane:
not angry with u at all,BT at the agony your husband is causing you.

Oh!
Sorry, I misunderstood.
Thank you so much.

But if he already married with someone, he still wanna keep hiding to me.
Bcoz he knows if I will know about that, how much I will get damage and how much I don't like it.
Even he knows I 'm gonna mad

adebayo3449:
Honestly, i took my time to read this thread.
Indeed you have gone through a lot, and its a pity that my fellow Nigerian did all these.
Reading through all what you typed, i can feel how much you love him.
Since you love him, you must be ready to accept the truth.(he is married in Nigeria)
I knew how much you love him by seeing your comments. You are trying to defend him when people are telling you the truth.
Now two things can be involved
1. Admit it that he is married, talk to him that he should tell you the truth, that you dont care.
Tell him to treat you like a wife.
Tell him to provide all your needs as his wife even tho it is 99% sure he has another wife in Nigeria.
2. Admit it that he has scammed you and opt out of the mariage. Pls dont be emotional here
Admit it that you have been used and you time have been wasted.
He is 40yrs old for God sake, and he told you he dont want a child becos of money .
My sister even if u dont av any thing here in Nigeria, you will still give birth.(he has children in Nigeria)

Initially i dont want to comment, but after reading all your posts i dont know when water rolled out of my eyes.
I am very sorry for you.
And i am sad
I felt as if you were my sister.
Honestly i am suposed to say a lot, but i can feel how much you loved him.And you still wish to be with him.
I could have told you what he used you for.
Note pls *The fact that a particular person is bad, does not make all the other people from his country to be bad*
We have good people and bad people here in Nigeria.
Every body is not bad.
Since your still love him you can go for option 1.
And try to enjoy our Nairaland.
The biggest forum in Africa

Sorry for write again

About baby.
I'm already 38y/o now.
I can't birth baby again.
Many peoples still birth baby by my age.
But in Japan, more than 30y/o will birth baby is high risk than 20's and more than 35y/o is more high risk than 30's.
Get old is will get highly risk for both of them(mom and baby).

I wanted have another baby again until 30y/o.
That time my child already 12y/o.
But I was so confused @ that time.
Sometimes I want, sometimes I don't want.
Almost everyday changed my mind.
I was disturbing him so much.
Why he doesn't get a baby @ that time, he said bcoz of money.
He said that still can't take care of my child very well and get another baby is somebody like have no brain.

But after sometime, I had like pregnant.
I was so afraid of pregnant.
Bcoz If I pregnant, I can't go to work and can't make money for sometime.
I was around 32y/o @ that time.
He was like happy when I told him.
But I was not pregnant.
My fell like half is peace of my mind and half is disappointed.
So after that, I told him about my feel.
He said you don't want a baby seriously to me.
And after more times later and still now I say I can't do it anymore.

So maybe he has no expect about have a baby with me.
I also didn't know that I couldn't have a baby again.
And I had experience about lost his baby.
So if he already has a baby with somebody, that is more hurt to me than he has another wife.
Even if his family never wanna accept me bcoz of can't birth baby, that is also hurt to me.
Only me can't have a baby.

Sorry, I can't talk about that.
Is so much hurt to me.
I just wanna tell you that he don't wanna make a baby is not only his fault.
Bcoz of what I said and what I acted when we expected pregnant @ that time.

adebayo3449:
Honestly, i took my time to read this thread.
Indeed you have gone through a lot, and its a pity that my fellow Nigerian did all these.
Reading through all what you typed, i can feel how much you love him.
Since you love him, you must be ready to accept the truth.(he is married in Nigeria)
I knew how much you love him by seeing your comments. You are trying to defend him when people are telling you the truth.
Now two things can be involved
1. Admit it that he is married, talk to him that he should tell you the truth, that you dont care.
Tell him to treat you like a wife.
Tell him to provide all your needs as his wife even tho it is 99% sure he has another wife in Nigeria.
2. Admit it that he has scammed you and opt out of the mariage. Pls dont be emotional here
Admit it that you have been used and you time have been wasted.
He is 40yrs old for God sake, and he told you he dont want a child becos of money .
My sister even if u dont av any thing here in Nigeria, you will still give birth.(he has children in Nigeria)

Initially i dont want to comment, but after reading all your posts i dont know when water rolled out of my eyes.
I am very sorry for you.
And i am sad
I felt as if you were my sister.
Honestly i am suposed to say a lot, but i can feel how much you loved him.And you still wish to be with him.
I could have told you what he used you for.
Note pls *The fact that a particular person is bad, does not make all the other people from his country to be bad*
We have good people and bad people here in Nigeria.
Every body is not bad.
Since your still love him you can go for option 1.
And try to enjoy our Nairaland.
The biggest forum in Africa

Happy New Year!
Thank you for advised me.

Pls don't waste your tears.
But thank you so much.
I'm happy woman.not pity woman.
Yes! I don't have money that's why I'm poor.
But I always trying to keep my mind(heart?) is not poor.
Trying to never forget about keep it!
If heart will be poor, can't have thankful for anythings.
And always compare(contrast?) with somebody, something, have like jealousy all of the time.
Always can't be smile, can't kind for somebody, always think about like"i'm only pity person in this earth" etc...
I don't wanna be kind of human.
If heart is poor, can't find out happy,joy etc.
Kind of person never know that happy or joy whatever anything always close to(stand by?) them.
They just can't find out bcoz of heart is poor.
Sorry,I can't explain well.

So Pls don't worry about me
Life is so hard is true.
Feel like lonely is true.
But my heart is very cheerful!
Of cause I'm loving him so much.
That's why I'm still with him.
But my life is not all of him.
I'm his wife, I'm child's mother, I'm a woman, and I'm a one of human!
And I still know how to find and share have fun with him.

Pls don't misunderstanding him.
My husband is good person.
Doesn't matter if he is marry in Nigeria or not.
I can't fall in love with bad person.
His humanity is not bad person.
I was really mad wife b/4.
I used very bad words to him lots of times.
We had fight.
I had too much jealousy.
Even I complained to his friend as like quarrel.
Peoples knows how much bad wife and how much disturbed him.
He demanded me to discussion not shouting @ that time.
So I think that's why he don't wanna have discussion with me anymore.
Bcoz maybe he think I'm gonna mad and shout him.
I have reason why I did like that.
But I don't wanna say excuse.
So many times I made him feel so bad.
That what I did is my fault.

But he still with me.
He is good person right?
If everything is lie, I'm so sad.
My heart will get too much damage.
I don't want somebody will take him from me.
But if his all of things are fake what I know about him, doing like actor in real life is not tired?
If not, He can be movie star.
So I still don't know what is he hiding me.
But many peoples hiding small things or big things for partner.
Sometimes that person wanna care for partner that's why hiding something.
Coz they don't wanna give hurt to partner.
They don't wanna break relationship with partner.
(I don't talk about cheating.)
So I hope he is hiding something is he wanna care for me.

I can't understand many things what he told me.
Maybe he is tired about explain me somethings.

I made everybody feel like my husband is bad person.
In fact, I am bad person for him.
But he still with me.
I am very sorry for made everybody feel so bad.

I know that everywhere have good person and bad person.
Even Japan have many bad persons.

Thank you so much once more time.

error4040:
Nicely Said

@Peacefull here is what you should do

I will try to do my best!
Thank you!

TheManOfTheYear:
hahahaha @threes0me

Japan have too many porn videos.
Too many strange somethings.
Is like crazy.
Many peoples arrested bcoz of they did like...
Disgusting!

TheManOfTheYear:
Good. That's a wise move. Things like these are best not said over the phone but face to face.

Follow him up and ensure when he gets back you two should have a heart to heart discussion about the situation of the marriage. By next Yuletide he must introduce you to his family physically if he really wanna keep the marriage

Thank you!
We have to discussion.
But maybe difficult.
If I'm telling him about money, he said he don't
have money and telling me try hard, do your work.
What he don't like is I can't do like his friend(Igbo)'s wife(Japanese).
He always telling me that his friend's wife if husband is go back to Nigeria, they take care all of things by theirself.
Even he go back to Nigeria by this time(3month) is bcoz his friends doing it.
I told him I'm not married with them and I'm not their wife. And I never understand that somebody birth baby not up to 1year,husband leave them and go back to Nigeria.
If work, I can understand.
They never think about they loose work.
Many peoples lost work bcoz of they took long time holidays by theirself.
Not formally company holiday.
In Japan who is foreigner get work is not easy unless if have professional skill.
They demand them speak,read,and write Japanese.
So they knows if lost work, life is getting worse.
But they don't care.
If wife and kids have hard life, if they are hungry, they still don't care about that.
They can hear who is Nigerian.
But they can't hear Japanese wife.
I know Not all of them.
Many Nigerian husband and Japanese wife are happy.
I'm so happy with him.
But once I remind how much hard my life, my fell like I don't have partner.

error4040:
Sorry what i mean was three of them sleeping in one room sounded like porn scene, i did not mean they were having threes0me.

You said he do pay your Rent and he told you in nigeria he sleep in a room with 4 other people ?
when next you talk to him Ask him what is he doing with the salary he earn from his job in japan since he sound like he is not sending to his relative in nigeria

Oh! No! No!
I have to say sorry.
Bcoz I couldn't understand well.
I had jealousy when I heard that.
My fell like maybe he cheated with her.
But I hadn't idea,three or four together

I will try to ask him.
Thank you.
I really hope I can go to Nigeria with him.
But he always tell me that I have to make money to buy ticket by myself.